till the end
by Dr.LexieSloan
Summary: Lexie Grey was a normal 24 year old girl who studied and wanted to start at the Seattle Grace Hospital. But when she met one man her whole world turned upside down. But her love to him is against any good... /Prehistory(?) to my AU on instagram: dr lexie sloan /I own nothing!
1. Just a dream

It was a normal rainy day in Seattle. Lexie Grey has just finished Harvard University and had her first day at the Seattle Grace Hospital where her half sister Meredith worked. She was excited, because she had not seen her for almost two years because of the university.

Lexie got into the bathroom and jumped into shower while brushing her theeth. She was late. She ran through her room while brushing her hair and searching for a good outfit.

She ran down the stairs to the kitchen where her father was waiting for her with breakfast. She wondered why he wasn´t drunk. Since her mom died two years ago her dad got addicted to alcohol and it wasn´t getting better.

"You´re...sober." she said softly.

"Yeah well, I waited for you with breakfast. You want some coffee?" he asked with a weak smile.

"Well, I would want to join you but I´m really late.." she answered while watching her dad´s face getting sad.

"Of course I want some coffee." she then admitted.

Her dad smiled again – weak but he smiled – and pour in some hot coffee in two cups.

 _Crap I have to go_ Lexie thought while looking at her watch. She only has twenty minutes left but the hospital was thirty minutes away.

"I´m sorry dad but I really have to go. Love you bye!" she meant quickly and turned around.

"Lexie are you sure you want to work there? In this hospital? You know what happened to your mother when she was there. She...died" Thatcher, that´s how her dad is called, mentioned to her.

"Daddy...Mom´s death is two years ago and I want to be a good surgeon and Meredith is there. You know how I missed her the last two years." Lexie replied friendly and placed her hand on Thatcher´s shoulder. He nodded.

"Well, then have a nice day!" he called after his leaving daughter, not sure if she heard it.

Only a few minutes after she left, Thatcher went to his office and unbarred his desk draw in which many bottles of scotch were. He sat down in his desk chair and drank one glass, then two, and a few moments later he didn´t know if it was still his first bottle or if he already opened the second.

Lexie hopped into her car and started the engine. She drove out of her parking space and drove to the hospital. Although she drove faster than it was allowed, she was too late. She ran into the hospital and interrupted doctor Richard Webber, who was the chief of surgery, while talking to the newbies.

"Welcome Ladies and Gentleman at the Seattle Grace hospital. The years you´re learning here to operate will be the hardest and the best years of your life..." Webber said but got interrupted by Lexie.

"I´m sorry..." Lexie meant quietly. "I´m Lexie. Lexie Grey."

"Grey? Well then you have to be Meredith´s sister. I´m doctor Webber and I´m the chief of surgery. Grey, Hudson, Miller and Harris you´re instructor is Cristina Yang. She is in her second year and one of our best residents." Webber continued

"Okay guys! I´m doctor Yang and I´m not good at remembering names. So from now you are called 1, 2, 3 and 4. Well come with me I´ll show you around." Cristina said – not smiling at all

* * *

"And last but not least: the on-call rooms" Yang explained and opened a door. "Here you can sleep whenever you´ve got time, believe me you´ll need it. But just...don´t sleep with..." Cristina continued as she got confused. The man on the other side of the corridor was Owen Hunt. They had a relationship but he left to join the army. Cristina went through the door and wanted to go straight to the familiar face. But Lexie raised her hand and wanted to ask something.

"Doctor Yang?" she began.

No answer.

"You didn´t finish your sentence!" Lexie noticed.

"Er...Just do something helpful. Ask the nurses. But don´t kill anyone!" Cristina replied still watching Owen.

The four interns went to the nurse´s station to ask for something to do.

"Owen?" Christina asked carefully.

"Cris...Cristina! Oh my god!" he said happily and hugged her. "I´ve missed you so much! I only came back for you. There was not even one day, where I wasn´t thinkin of you. God Cristina I love you so much!" Owen said before kissing her passionate. Cristina couldn´t help but melt in his arms and they both ran into the open on-call room, locked the door and pulled off their clothes.

* * *

Lexie leaned over to ask the nurse Olivia if she got any cases when she suddenly heard her name. Lexie turned around and found her sister Meredith behind her, who hugged her and told her how much she missed her.

"Oh Mer, hi!" Lexie said when Meredith let her breathe again.

"Lexie you have to tell me everything about your life at Harvard!"

"Well, I was..." Lexie replied but got interrupted

"Hi honey!" Derek Sheperd, a neurosurgeon and Mer´s fiancé, said to Meredith and kissed her softly on the cheek.

"Derek!" Lexie screamed happily and hugged her brother-in-law.

"Lexie! Hi! Long time no see!" he replied while hugging her.

"Well," Lexie started "Cristina Yang is my instructor but she saw a red-headed man and left us. So do you have something to do?"

 _Is it possible that Owen is back?_ Merideth thought

"Hm... Well, I don´t have anything, but you can go in the E.R. Maybe they´ll need some help." Derek meant and pointed with his hand at a door. Lexie followed his advice and went to the emergency room.

The E.R. wasn´t really full. She saw a man stiching a wound at a girl´s cheek. Lexie came closer to watch him practice. She leaned over to see something.

"I don´t know who you are but you´re standing in the light." the man said angrily but still looking at the patient.

"Oh I´m sorry!" Lexie answered and stepped back. "I´m Lexie Grey!" She explained

The man turned around and shook her hand.

"Sloan. Mark Sloan."


	2. 2

"Plastics? You send me to plastics? I married to cardio!" Cristina yelled through the hallways.

"Doctor Yang! You´re not specialised in cardio yet. You´re still a resident!" Webber yelled back.

Cristina opened her mouth to reply something but pressed her lips together again, because she knew these words would cost her job. Webber nodded and went back to his office.

"Okay 1, 2, 3, 4 come with me, today we need to work in plastics." Yang said angrily and loud that the chief of surgery could hear her. The four interns followed their furious instructor into a patient´s room where doctor Sloan explained the operation to the patient. Cristina, who was still mad, stepped in and her interns did the same. Mark talked while watching them and stopped when he saw Lexie.

 _She looks breathtakingly_ he thought.

 _Why is he staring at me? God he is damn hot!_ Lexie thought while her cheeks turned into a deep red.

"Um... Okay so if you have more questions you can ask doctor Yang. She will help me to operate you." Mark continued while pointing on Christina, who had a big fake smile on her face.

Mark Sloan went out off the patient´s room and the others followed him.

"Well, I will implant a little bit of fiber of Mrs. Walters upper leg in her channel to replace her vocal chords. She lost her voice 2 years ago when she had a tumor. I want to give her back her voice. And doctor Yang will help me and one of you guys." Mark said and looked at the four interns. His gaze rested on Lexie´s face for a second.

"If I was you I would show us how talented you are and I would learn something about this procedure." he added, looked into Lexie´s eyes, turned around and went to the nurses station to fill in the data of Mrs. Walters.

"I have to to every dumb job for Yang, that she sees that I´m not afraid of being a surgeon." Steve Miller whisperd to Pete Hudson and ran after Cristina to ask her for something to do.

"Well, while Steve is going to kiss Yang´s ass we could go to an empty on-call room and do some better stuff." Pete flirted with Sadie Harris. She looked him in the eyes and smirked.

"You´re the hottest boy on the planet." she began while Lexie stared at her and couldn´t believe what´s going on. "But this fact won´t change anything because I like men." she ended her sentence and turned around. Lexie chuckled and went with Sadie down the hallway. Pete mumbled something about _her loss_ and went straight to the library to do some studying.

"THIS was really cool!" Lexie complimented Sadie. She smirked.

"I know this guy from med-school. He´s a jerk." Sadie addmited. Both bursted into loud laughter.

"What is so funny?" suddenly Mark stood straight ahead of the girls. Lexie blushed as she saw him. He smirked.

"Lexie just told me an ultra funny joke." Sadie lied

"Really? I want to hear it." Mark said and stared at Lexie, who was completly overstrained.

"How do you call a boomerang that doesn´t came back?" Lexie asked quickly.

"A stick!" she said and smiled while her eyes went from Sadie to Mark and back. But both didn´t laugh. To cover that the joke was really bad Sadie laughed hard and said that it will always be funny. Mark – who didn´t laugh – just nodded and went away. Sadie laughed until she couldn´t see him and said, "A stick? Really? Oh god Lexie if you want to impress him you should learn some good jokes."

"First of all: I do not want to impress him okay?! And I panicked" Lexie swore.

Suddenly Lexie´s pager went on and she ran to the cafeteria.

* * *

"Lexie!" Meredith screamed and waved her little sister to her table.

"I got an emergency call but nothing happend" Lexie said while sitting down next to her sister.

"I know. It was me. I wanted to spend some time with my sister." Meredith said and bit in her sandwich.

"It was …. Ah I thought I could finally do something. Well, maybe I can operate today." Meredith looked at her sister happily while chewing her lunch.

"Yeah doctor-" Lexie continued but got interupted when Derek and Mark came and sat down at their table. Lexie blushed immediatly into a deep red color when Mark chose the seat next to her.

"Grey, other Grey." Mark said friendly when he sat down. Lexie looked down at her sandwich.

"I think I should go get some fries." she meant and wanted to stand up to avoid Mark. She was so embarrassed because of her terrible joke.

"Oh, they don´t have any fries left, but you can have some of mine." Mark suggested and put his fries between them. Lexie nodded and thought _Why? He is Derek´s best friend and so damn hot and my teacher. What did I do wrong that the universe hates me so much?_

Mark took some fries and ate it while watching Lexie getting nervous.

She bit in her sandwich and ate it really fast with no eye contact to the group.

"Slow down!" Meredith said. "You´re going to choke on your sandwich!" she explained with a joking undertone.

"Everything´s fine!" Lexie answered nervously. "I just want to-" she began but couldn´t talk because her food was in her trachea. Her face turned into a deep shade of blue she hold her neck and began crying when Meredith hit her on her back.

"Away!" Mark shouted and did the "Heimlich-procedure".

Lexie threw up her sandwich and could breathe again. She sat down for a while and drank some water.

"Thank you!" she said to Mark when she finally calmed down.

"No problem." He answerd with a smirky smile.

Lexie didn´t want to eat anymore and stood up to leave her sister with her fiancé and his best friend who gave Lexie an unbelievable feeling.

"Where are you going?" Derek asked.

"I have to study for the surgery today." Lexie replied and looked to Mark who giggled.

"Oh yeah you couldn´t tell me about it. With whom are you going to do this?" Meredith wanted to know.

"Me!" Mark answerd for Lexie. Both Meeidith and Derek looked at him interested.

"Well, if she is the one of Yang´s four interns who knows best. But I´m confident she can do it." Mark explained while looking at the nervous Lexie and winked at her. She turned around and wanted to go.

"Grey!" Mark shouted through the cafeteria.

"Yes?" Merideth and Lexie both replied and chuckled.

"Um...okay. Little Grey!" he added

"Really?!" Merideth asked but Mark ignored her.

"I hope you will be prepared because you were my choice right from the beginning." Mark meant and earned a smile from Lexie who turned around and went to the libary. While Mark was staring at the beautiful brunette girl Meredith whispered something to Derek and also left.

"Mark?" Derek asked but only got a *hm* while Mark was eating his fries.

"Just to be clear: Little Sloan will not enter little Grey!" He continued.

"Derek please." Mark said "I didn´t even think about it. And also that´s an understatement. It´s big Sloan."

What Derek didn´t know was that Mark was thinking about that since he met Lexie the first time 10 hours ago. But it wasn´t like the other times when he saw hot girls. This time it was special. This time she was special.


	3. 3

Mark Sloan, Cristina Yang and her four interns met at the nurse´s station. Mark handed out a chart to everyone.

"Okay you have ten minutes to learn this and then we go to the patient." He said and went away. The four interns stared at Cristina and looked helpless.

"What?! If he says you have to do so, then do it!" she said and walked away.

"Ten minutes? Are you kidding me? This chart has too much information to learn in ten minutes." Steve said tired. "And I thought that it would be enough when I kiss Yang´s ass." The other three giggled and earned a mad look from Steve.

* * *

Ten minutes later everybody met in the patient´s room.

"Miller!" Mark said and waited for him telling everything about the patient.

"Um...Klaus...um...Clearwater...who is...um...45 years old...and..." Steve started.

"Stop!" Mark interrupted him. He pulled Steve aside and told him that he can forget the operation. Steve ran out of the room and Mark told Pete to continue.

"The patient had a lobectomy. And now his heart is straying through his body." Pete continued professional. Mark nodded and told Sadie to continue. But in the ten minutes when she could have learned she was in the on-call room with doctor Sloan. Sadie didn´t know anything.

"4!" Yang whispered to her. "You´re out!"

"But. Please just let me think-" Sadie begged. But Mark also told her to go. Sadie was shocked because she heard that Mark was a manwhore and thought that if she offers her body he would allow her to operate. She got angry and left the room.

"Little Grey!" Mark said and smiled.

"Well, doctor Sloan will implant you silicon pads,that your heart will stay at the place it should be." Lexie smiled to Mr. Clearwater, which smiled back and asked Mark when the operation will take place.

"Tomorrow. Doctor Altman who is our best cardio-thoracic surgeon, and doctor Yang who is one of our best residents will help." Mark answered and Christina smiled

"And will she also be in the o.r.?" the patient asked. Pete, who had been smiling the whole time, stopped.

"If doctor Grey has time tomorrow, she can be there." Mark replied and winked to Lexie who blushed immediately.

Pete waited for Mark to say that he was also allowed to, but he didn´t. _Why is she allowed? I bet she slept with him_ Pete thought while the doctors went out of the room.

* * *

"You´re a slut!" Pete yelled through the emergency room.

"You´re a manwhore!" Sadie shouted through the hallway.

"I´m sorry?" Lexie answered at Pete´s yelling

"I´m sorry?" Mark replied when he heard Sadie shouting

"You slept with him right? You slept with Mark Sloan to operate this guy and Mrs Walters and every case he will get!" Pete reproached Lexie.

"I slept with you!" Sadie screamed when Mark came closer. "I slept with you to get in the surgery!"

Lexie looked around. Everybody was watching them. "I did not sleep with him. I did the same as you I studied for Mrs Walter´s operation." Lexie defended herself feeling ashamed of his accusation.

Mark looked around. Everyone was watching them. "I didn´t force you to sleep with me. You asked me! You can´t tell me that I´m guilty that you don´t know anything." the man replied whispering harshly.

"Really? `cause I didn´t see you in the library sitting and learning. But I heard someone having sex in the on-call room!" Pete meant.

"Well, it wasn´t me!" Lexie protested.

"Really? ´cause you were checking out my ass the whole day! So it was like raping with the eyes!" Sadie meant.

"Well, it wasn´t your ass I was checking out!" Mark protested.

"Everyone could see that you´ve got a crush on Mark Sloan!" Pete admitted

Lexie´s face turned red when she saw Meredith entering the e.r. "Will you shut the fuck up!"

"Wait! Grey? You´ve got a crush on Lexie Grey?" Sadie asked.

Mark´s face turned red when he saw Derek leaving a patient´s room "Will you shut the fuck up!"

"You know what? Forget it. Sleep with your attendings if it makes you feel better but you won´t learn anything than new sex-positions." Pete finally explained and walked away.

Lexie looked around. Everyone was looking at her. A doctor, with long black wavy hair, who just ended the check up at her patient left the emergency room and Lexie ran to the restroom. When she got there she locked herself in a toilet cabinet and started crying.

"You know what? Forget it! Sleep with your residents or interns if it makes you feel better but you will never teach anything than sex-positions!" Sadie said and left the hallway.

Mark looked around. Everyone was looking at him. A doctor, with long black wavy hair went down the hallway straight to him.

"Come with me!" she said and pointed on the scan-room door where both went in and the woman began to ask why the interns are going wild.

"I don´t know. She just began to yell but I didn´t do anything wrong." Mark swore.

"Wait what? What are you talking about?" the female doctor asked.

"What are you talking about?" Mark asked his confused friend.

"I´m talking about the two interns who screamed at each other in the e.r. Because you prefer a girl because she slept with you! Mark you´re a manwhore!" the woman explained.

"What? I do not...The only intern I slept with was Sadie Harris! And she yelled at me right here at the hallway." Mark explained. "Callie, what are you talking about?"

"So you do not prefer a small brunette girl with bambi eyes because she had sex with you?" Callie wanted to know.

"No! Wait...you mean Lexie Grey?" Mark asked but Callie didn´t know who that was. "I chose her for the operation because she was the best and the patient wanted her. Callie nodded. Suddenly her pager went on and she ran back to the e.r.

* * *

Mark, Cristina and the four interns went into Mrs. Walters room.

"Ready for your operation?"Cristina asked. The patient nodded. Mark told her that everything´s going to be fine. Then he turned to the interns.

"No one of you is going to help Yang and me. You four weren´t prepared, you were disrespectful and you were unprofessional. Yang and I we are going to do this without you. And now go!" Mark said and pointed on the door. Steve, Sadie, Lexie and Pete went out of the room.

"You don´t always have an advantage when you sleep with your boss!" Pete whispered into Lexie´s ear.

"Little Grey?" Mark said and Lexie turned around. "You are going to take over the pre- and postoperative care of Mrs Walters. So prepare her for the surgery!" Lexie nodded and started while the two doctors went to prepare themselves.

* * *

While Yang and Sloan operated her, Sadie and Lexie watched them from the gallery.

"He is such a manwhore!" Sadie admitted

"Doctor Sloan? No he isn´t." Lexie disclaimed.

"Of course you´re saying that. You´ve got a crush on him." Sadie said and chuckled but Lexie disclaimed that too. She explained that he is her teacher and that it wouldn´t be right if she would sleep with him. But she blushed when she thought about it.

"Well, I heard he would be a really good lover." Sadie mentioned to her friend. "And that he can teach you some things in bed you didn´t know were possible." The girls looked at each other and bursted into loud laughter.

The surgery was done and Mrs. Walters was awake. Mark, Christina and Lexie stood beside her bed and asked her to say something. But she was too scared and didn´t want to try. Mark meant that maybe she would just need some time and went to the nurse´s station to do the charts. Cristina and Lexie also left.

A few hours later Lexie came back to Mrs. Walters room.

"I know it is scary. You didn´t talk for two years and you´re afraid that you don´t know how to do it. But you can try. I´m not important. I´m an intern. I´m nobody. Just try." Lexie meant and smiled

The patient opened her mouth but closed it quickly. But Lexie stayed and grabbed her hand. Both smiled and Mrs. Walters tried again.

"Hi.." she whispered hoarsely and smiled when she heard herself.

"Hi-Hi-Hi!" she tried it again and again.

"Hi!" Lexie said happily and smiled when she saw how happy the woman was.

Lexie wanted to tell Mark the good information and asked the nurse if she knows where he is. But she told her that he left and went home 1 hour ago. Lexie decided to wait till she sees him next time but her inner voice didn´t want to do it and so she found herself in front of his door. She knocked and heard steps coming closer and a key which unlocked the door.

Mark opened the door and looked puzzeled when he saw Lexie.

"You made her speak." Lexie told him. "Mrs Walters, she said hi. She spoke. You made her speak." Mark didn´t answer. Lexie went in his apartment. Mark´s inner voice told him to stop her but his body couldn´t do it. She stopped in his living room and started to explain, "I respect you. As a man. As..as a surgeon. As a teacher. I respect you. So teach me!" She said while putting off her jacket.

"What are you... Don´t do that! Stop!" Mark said though he really wanted to teach her.

"Teach me!" Lexie meant again and took of her boots.

Mark shouldn´t do that and he knew it. And altough he didn´t want to do it because of Derek and what he said he closed the door and didn´t stop her from putting of more and more clothes.

"Stop!" he repeated but she didn´t and told him once more that he should teach her.

"We can´t do this. You´re little Grey and...and I promised and I´m your teacher!"

"So...teach me!" she answered and took off her shirt.

"Oh no Lexie!" Mark said and looked away. But he couldn´t help and had to look back at her perfect skinny body.

"Teach me...teach me!" Lexie continued and stood in front of him in her underwear only.

 _Damn it! She looks so good! But I can´t. I promised Derek that my big Sloan won´t enter little Grey. Fuck! I can´t! I have to..._ Mark thought and stared at Lexie.

"Come on. Am I really so bad?" Lexie asked.

 _Oh my god maybe it was the wrong decision. Maybe he doesn´t even want me..._

"No I am!" Mark admitted.

 _Wait what did he just say?_ Lexie asked herself and suddenly his lips touched her´s. It was like a firework. It was like he never ever kissed another woman before. Lexie melted in Mark´s arms and took her up and carried her to his bed. Sloan laid her in his bed softly and kissed her.

The kiss got deeper and more passionate when he used his tongue. Mark stroke through her hair and his kisses went down to her neck. Lexie got time to breathe and started to say something but when Mark´s kisses reached her breasts she couldn´t say a word and just moaned.

He unplugged her bra and she took off his shirt.

A few moments later they both were naked and Mark was about to enter her.

"Are you sure little Grey?" Mark asked

"Mark you should know something." Lexie admitted. "I´m still a virgin!"


	4. 4

**First of all I really want to thank you for your reviews and I would appreciate if you are not going to judge me if my grammar isn´t good. English is not my mother tongue and I´m really trying to do my best so please just ignore it if something is spelled wrong.**

 **I said enough and now have some fun and tell me what you think and if you had expected that it ended like that :)**

"Mark? Mark!" Derek asked his best friend when he met him at the nurse`s station.

No answer.

"Mark! Hey!" Derek said louder again. But Mark didn´t react. He was too ashamed to look in Derek´s eyes. Mark promised him not to have sex with Lexie or kiss her or even to think about it. He was too ashamed to say something because Lexie was the only thing he was thinking about for two days.

"Well, then don´t talk to me." Derek said and wrote something in his chart. "I just wanted to know if it´s true that Lexie will assist you at the operation of this guy whose heart strays through his body." Derek said while writing. Mark looked up from his chart. He totally forgot about this. He can´t be in an o.r. for hours with Lexie. That would be torture for him and her.

"So," Derek said and gave the chart to a nurse. "Have some fun." he said and turned on his heel but immediately turned back to Mark.

"But only in the o.r. and not in the bed... or in the shower...or wherever you like to do it with her. Just in the o.r.!" Derek reminded him and Mark blushed and turned his head away.

"I would never touch little Grey!" he lied, gave his chart to a nurse and went quickly down the hallway. _Strange.._ Derek thought and also went back to his work.

Mark walked as fast as he could and tried everything to forget what happened last night. He was so busy with forgetting that he didn´t watch out and ran into Lexie who carried some charts for Cristina.

"Whoaaaah!" both screamed when they fell down. Mark shook his head and stood up. He reached out his hand to help her up on her feet again and as soon as their hands met it felt like there would be fireworks just like the kiss last night. Lexie stood up and picked up the charts from the floor.

"Doctor Sloan." Lexie said without any eye-contact.

"Doctor Grey." Mark said and picked up the last chart and gave it to her.

"I just wanted to prepare myself for the operation later this day." Lexie said with red cheeks and still not looking in his eyes.

"Yeah um...the operation...I don´t think you should help me. I think it´s a little bit too difficult for an intern, who has been working here for two days." Mark said also avoiding eye contact.

"What?!" Lexie yelled and now looked in his eyes which had a huge expression of sorrow.

"Is it because of la-" she shouted but automatically got quiet. "Is it because of last night?" she whispered. Mark hesitated. It was because of last night but he couldn´t tell her. He thought about what he could answer but obviously he thought too long.

"You can´t do this! You are an attending you have to teach me!" Lexie said angrily.

Their memories of last night came back at the second she said that.

" _I respect you. As a man. As..as a surgeon. As a teacher. I respect you. So teach me!"_

" _What are you... Don´t do that! Stop!"_

" _Teach me!"_

" _Stop!"_

" _Teach me!"_

" _We can´t do this. You´re little Grey and...and I promised and I´m your teacher!"_

" _So...teach me!"_

" _Oh no Lexie!"_

" _Teach me...teach me!_

" _Come on. Am I really so bad?"_

" _No I am!"_

Mark shook his head to get the memories out of it.

"Listen, I believe that you are a great surgeon because you are Merideth´s sister. But I can´t look at you today. When I see you I only see you naked and I promised Derek that this would never happen. So please just find another surgeon to..." Mark explained. "...teach you!" he quickly said and left Lexie behind him. She looked disappointed. _Why is he so mean? He wasn´t the one who put of his clothes in his appartment and said `teach me!`_ Lexie thought and went to Cristina to bring her her charts.

* * *

"Doctor Sloan!" Cristina nodded as she walked in the room were the surgeons get sterile.

"Doctor Yang!" Mark replied and washed his hands up to his elbows. They both spent time without talking until Cristina finally asked where Lexie was.

"I´m here!" Lexie said and Mark and Cristina turned around to the intern. Marks face was first confused then mad.

"You´re late!" Christina meant.

"I know I´m sorry. I had to talk with doctor Webber first." Lexie meant and went to the sink next to Mark. Cristina didn´t understood why she had to be there but she also wasn´t interested to know. But Mark knew why. He knew that she went there to ask for the permission to operate with him. Mark was mad.  
"You´re not going to touch anything. You can ask questions but you won´t operate!" he explained while drying his hands with a towel

"Asking doctor Webber for the permission to be in this operating room ha. How childish." he said and went in the o.r.

 _Fine. I will ask some really important questions..._ Lexie thought and also dried her arms and went in.

* * *

"Doctor Yang would you like to implant the silicon pads?" Mark asked during the operation. Christina nodded and asked for the pads.

"Doctor Yang?" Lexie asked and Christina answerd with a ´hm´

"If you go to a guy´s apartment and take off all of your clothes and beg him to sleep with you..." Lexie began and the whole operating team inclusive Mark looked at her.

"...and he wants it too but on the next day he forbids you something really important. What would you do?" Lexie continued without caring that everybody was staring at her.

"Doctor Grey. I think this is not the best place to discuss that." Mark said still mad at her.

"Well, I would fight to get it." Cristina replied and kept operating.

"See, I´m not childish!" Lexie whispered to Mark who had to smile under his surgical mask. _Stop smiling!_ He thought _You´re mad at her._

"Another question doctor Yang." Lexie said.

"Why don´t you ask doctor Sloan? He is the attending." Christina replied annoyed.

"Well, it´s not a medical question. So if you have something ….for example a poundcake which wasn´t tasted before. I mean no one ever ate your poundcake." Lexie explained

"Little Grey!" Mark warned and looked at her with angry eyes.

"And you offer it to someone who really loves poundcakes. And at first he is really interested in your poundcake but when you tell him that nobody ever tasted it he doesn´t want your poundcake anymore what would you do?" Lexie asked ignoring Mark´s gaze. Christina hesitated and looked between Mark, whose gaze was still on Lexie and Lexie who stared at her.

"Is poundcake a code for something dirty?" Cristina asked helpless.

"No!" Mark and Lexie answered at the same time. Christina still looked between them but now Mark also switched his gaze between the girls.

"Well, I´m not really good in baking so I know that it would taste terrible but um..." Christina wanted to answer but Lexie cut her off.

"And if you were a good baker. Well, you think so because you never baked before but you´re thinking you would be a good baker."

"Then I would tell the person that he will never know if it´s good if he doesn´t try it. Maybe it would be the best poundcake he ever ate." Cristina said "Can we please do our work now?"

"You can implant the silicone pads I will be back in a minute." Mark said and put away his instruments.

"Little Grey? May I can speak you for a second?" Mark asked her but it sounded more like an order so Lexie went with him outside the o.r.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mark whispered to avoid anyone hearing them.

"I´m not the one who was too shy to have sex!" Lexie whisperd back.

"I...too shy... I..was not too shy to have sex with you!" Mark defended himself.

Memories of last night came back:

" _Are you sure little Grey?" Mark asked_

" _Mark you should know something." Lexie admitted. "I´m still a virgin!"_

" _What?" Mark was shocked. He went back to the other side of the bed._

" _Why didn´t you tell me that?" he asked._

" _I...Where is the problem? I want it! So you can do everything you want because I know nothing!" Lexie meant still ready to have sex with him._

" _I-I can´t you are little Grey and your little Grey is untouched and it can´t be me who touches her the first time!" Mark said while putting his hand on his forehead._

" _Oh my god. I promised Derek not to do this with you. I told him that I wouldn´t even think about this. God and now you´re lying next to me naked and begging me to defile you. And there´s nothing in this world I would prefer to do right now but I can´t." Mark admitted._

 _Lexie looked at him with her huge Bambi eyes and leaned over to kiss him. He replied the kiss and his hands stroke through her hair and went down her back to her ass. She laid her hand on his chest and it also went down to his big Sloan._

 _As soon as she reached him Mark cut her off and broke up the kiss._

" _I think you should go!" He said quietly, stepped out of the bed and opened the door of his bedroom._

" _But I-" Lexie wanted to say but Mark cut her off again._

" _Now!" He said a little bit louder. Lexie looked at him. For a second she was sad and her eyes were filled with tears but then they turned mad. She took of her bra and panties put them on again and picked up her clothes in the living room. As soon as she was dressed again and stood in the hallway of Mark´s flat she said, "Last chance!" and looked at him with flirty eyes, but even a blind one could have seen that she was close to cry her soul out._

" _Go home and get some sleep Grey. You will need it tomorrow!" Mark said and closed the door._

 _He leaned against it and covered his ashamed face with his hands._

 _Lexie leaned against the other side of the door and let herself sinking down on the floor. Tears started to find their way over her cheeks._

Mark and Lexie stared at each other for a few minutes. Lexie´s eyes were filled with tears again and she bit on her lip to ignore the lump in her throat.

"Lex I...I never wanted to hurt you. But you have to understand that it-" Mark said and wanted to lay a hand on her shoulder. But she stopped him and turned her head away that he couldn´t see her tears rolling down her face.

"You know how that feels?" Lexie asked loud.

"You know how that feels when you go to the apartment of the man you got a crush and got enough courage to take off all of your clothes. And then he kisses you and you want to have sex with him so badly and then when you´re close to have it he sends you home? You know how that feels? It feels terrible!" Lexie yelled. She turned around and threw away her surgical outfit and gloves.

"Lexie!" Mark called after her but she didn´t respond to it.

Lexie went straight to the intern´s locker room where she cried her heart and soul out. Some interns went by and whisperd something about her but she didn´t care.

Suddenly her pager went on. Meredith called her to the emergency room. Lexie wiped away her tears and splashed some cold water into her face to cool her swollen eyes. Then she ran to the e.r. and asked a nurse where Meredith Grey was and the nurse pointed on trauma room 1.

Lexie stepped in and was shocked when she saw doctor Miranda Bailey reanimate a man.

"Lexie! Lexie!" Meredith yelled. "I know it is hard for you but I haven´t seen him for many years now. He was found in front of the entrance to the e.r. without a wallet or any papers." Meredith explained.

"Lexie? Is this our dad?!"


	5. 5

Lexie was sitting in the waiting room. She didn´t cry. She knew something like that would happen, she knew it. She was just hoping that it wouldn´t happen on her second day. Everybody now knew that her father was an alcoholic. She waited for doctor Bailey to tell her how the operation was going but nobody came.

" _Lexie! Is this our dad?" Meredith asked. Lexie just nodded. She couldn´t realize that her dad was lying there and was about to die._

" _Clear!" Bailey shouted and put the paddles on his chest. His heart started to beat again._

" _Okay guys we have to operate he got fluid in his abdomen maybe his spleen. Grey you will assist!" Miranda shouted and went through the door._

" _She can´t. She´s a family member!" Alex Karev, who was mad that Bailey didn´t choose him, meant._

" _I meant Meredith and not Lexie!" Miranda explained._

" _Well, she´s too!" Alex said while crossing his arms over his chest. Bailey looked at Meredith and thought about it for a second._

" _Believe me. There isn´t any human I care less about than him!" Meredith swore and Bailey nodded._

" _You both are going to assist and now move!" Bailey decided and Alex and Meredith walked behind her to the o.r. Wing._ Lexie remembered the last night.

"Hey. What are you doing here!" Mark woke Lexie up.

"Hmm...Oh you surely heard it." Lexie said tired.

"No...I mean...I heard some rumors.. but they´re not always true." Mark explained and sat down next to her.

"Well, when the rumors where that my dad, who also is Meredith´s dad but she hates him, is here because he was drunk and then had an accident on the street but because of the alcohol he didn´t feel anything and went here to visit me and then he broke down in front of the hospital doors. Well, then they are true." Lexie replaid with an angry undertone. Mark said nothing. He wanted to take her in his arms but wasn´t sure because their fight yesterday afternoon.

"You want some coffee?" Mark asked finally and hold up one of the two cups of coffee which Lexie didn´t notice first.

"Okay I now I understand." Lexie said. "You heard it and you thought `Hm maybe she needs a friend because her sister is operating and her only friend Sadie isn´t here right now`. Then you bought two cups of coffee because you were sure that you could help me with that and I won´t be mad at you anymore right." Lexie was angry and sad and her eyes were filled with tears. "Well, then you didn´t get it! Nothing will help me now. My dad almost died. And now my sister tries everything to save his life. And no one told me yet how it is going so it can´t be well. And I´m sitting here like two years ago when my mother was operated and also Meredith tried to save her life and no one told me how it was going till Meredith came to tell me that she didn´t make it...And I..I.." Lexie cried and couldn´t stop her tears from streaming down her face. Mark was sure she needed a hug so he put his arm around her and Lexie automatically put her head on his chest and cried. And she didn´t stop crying until she finally fell asleep. And she slept in his arms till Bailey and Meredith came.

"If there are bad news I don´t want to wake her." Mark said when he noticed her. Bailey and Meredith stared at each other and then said that he should wake her.

"Hey!" Mark whispered to Lexie who looked up to him and smiled. Meredith saw them smiling at each other and it looked like the smile she and Derek have when they see each other.

"Look who´s here!" Mark said and pointed on the doctors. Lexie turned her head and Bailey told her everything about the operation. She said that Thatcher had massive bleedings because of the car accident and that they had to do a spleenectomy. Also his spine got a damage. Doctor sheperd fixed it but they´re not sure if there won´t be a disturbence. His heart flat lined two times but they could save his life. But if he won´t stop drinking, she said it won´t be sure if he will make it the next time.

A big sigh came out of Lexie´s mouth and she said that she wants home.

"You don´t want to see him? I mean I understand when I don´t want to visit him but you?" Meredith asked.

"Mer...I waited 6 hours and nobody informed me about his situation. And he will sleep for an hour and in 3 hours my shift starts so I just want to get a shower and then lay down in my bed and sleep. I can visit him tomorrow." Lexie said and yawned. "Would you be so kind and bring me home? I don´t think that I´m able to drive now." She asked and looked at Mark who nodded and stood up. For his answer he earned a warning look from Meredith but ignored it because he wouldn´t have touched Lexie in this situation. They both went to Mark´s car and got in. Mark started the engine and drove in the direction his navigation told him.

When they arrived at Lexie´s place she already fell asleep in his car. He searched for her keys in her bag and when he found them he opened the front-door. He took her out of the car and carried her into the house where he closed the door and went upstairs. He looked through the opened doors till he found a room where he thought it could be hers. He went in and nodded. _Yep it´s definetly her´s_ he thought when he saw some medical journals on her bedside table and a pin board with photos of some people with or without her on it. And in the middle of the board there was a picture of the Seattle Grace hospital and above and under it a piece of paper. On the one above it was written _´why´_ and on the one under it _´therefore´_. Mark laid the girl in her bed and put the blanket over her tiny, slim body. He sat down on the side of the bed and watched her how her chest rose and sank when she was breathing. A wisp of Lexie´s hair was in her face and Mark put it behind her ear. The man stood up and just wanted to go when she caught his hand and begged him to stay. He wasn´t quite sure if she was dreaming or not.

"Please...Mark." she said with a husky voice. He went on the other side of the bed and got in. Lexie turned around and placed her head on his warm chest. His hand stroke through her hair while she came closer and put her arm around his waist.

"I like it when someone strokes my hair. Especially when it´s you." she said tired and Mark again wasn´t sure if she was awake or just talking in her sleep. He stared at her the whole two hours she had left. He didn´t even sleep for one second because he was overwhelmed by her beauty and how strong she was. He looked around in her room. The moon was shining bright or was it the morning sun? He didn´t care. He looked at her desk where some books and folders and pencils were. Then his gaze went to the open door where he saw tub. His eyes went to her wardrobe where it was kind of messy. He smiled. Then his eyes saw something. It was a photo frame but it laid with the picture side upside down on her bedside table. Mark turned it around and saw a picture of a smiling blonde woman who had a baby sitting in her arms. They seemed happy. The woman looked exactly like Lexie now besides her blonde hair. _Is this her mother?_ Mark thought and looked back at Lexie who was snoring qiuetly.

Suddenly Lexie´s alarm went off. Mark turned it off and stepped out of the bed. He was tired because he was just looking at the girl instead of sleeping and went to her bathroom. He turned on the shower and stepped in. Meanwhile Lexie woke up. She was really tired and forgot that Mark was here. She went into the bathroom and made her hair to a bun. She didn´t even notice that she wasn´t the one who turned the shower on. So she took off her clothes barely awake and stepped in the shower. Mark also didn´t notice that she went in because he stood with his back to her. Lexie who still had her eyes closed went one step forward and ran into Mark. Lexie opened her eyes wide and Mark turned around quickly. They stared at each other for a quick second. Then Lexie turned around and blushed into a deep red. But Mark wasn´t ashamed and checked out her ass. Lexie looked over her shoulder and caught him doing that.

"Were you just checking out my ass?" she asked angrily.

"Not the first time, won´t be the last." Mark said and smirked. The two were staring at each other for a while till Lexie finally ordered, "Would you now please leave my shower?"

Mark chuckled and got out of the shower and putting on his boxer and went out of the bathroom.

"You know I saw you naked some days ago, don´t you?" Mark laughed and closed the door. Lexie smiled and couldn´t stop during her shower.

When she finished she put on her panties and bra and as she didn´t saw Mark in her room so she thought he already drove to the hospital. But his clothes still were lying on the floor. Lexie put off his shirt and held it to her face. It smelled like him. Masculine, hot, and a little bit like germicide but also that smelled good. She put it on and looked at her clock. _I still got an hour so I can eat some breakfast. And I´m alone so I can go like that.._ she thought while going downstairs. There was a familiar smell. Like bacon and eggs which her mother always made on Sunday mornings. But Lexie was sure that she only noticed it because she is thinking about her mother.

But when she reached the kitchen it wasn´t empty like she expected it to be. There was Mark just in boxers and a pinafore. Lexie stared at his muscular back.

"Good morning little Grey!" Mark said and Lexie got goose bumps when he turned around and smiled. "I see you found my shirt." Mark smiled and Lexie blushed while looking down on her.

"You want some bacon and eggs?" Mark asked while putting some on two plates. Lexie nodded still unable to speak because of his muscular body. She sat down at the table and he brought her the plate and a glass with orange juice.

"Did...did you make this all? I mean since I banished you from my bathroom?" Lexie asked and stared at her breakfast.

"Yes!" Mark meant proudly and took of the pinafore. Lexie blushed and immediately turned her head away.

They talked and laughed a lot while eating breakfast and totally forgot the time. Both were 30 minutes late but they didn´t notice.

"It was really sweet of you that you stayed last night. You know, you didn´t had to do this." Lexie said.

"No problem. I would do it anytime again." Mark smiled and blushed a little bit. During their conversation their chairs came closer and closer and suddenly Mark´s and Lexie´s faces were close enough to kiss.

 _Should I kiss her?_ Mark thought and his eyes switched between her eyes and lips.

 _Can you please just kiss me!_ Lexie thought and came even more closer. But Mark didn´t kiss her although he wanted to really badly.

 _Okay so if you´re not going to do it then I have to..._ Lexie thought, leaned over, placed her hands on his neck and kissed him. Mark was totally overtaxed with this situation but he couldn´t help but reply the kiss. The kiss got deeper and deeper and suddenly Lexie was sitting on his lap with one leg on the right and one on the left side. They kissed and didn´t notice that someone bumped on the door. This someone was smart and found a key under the doormat. She opened the door and called Lexie but the two were so busy that they overheard the person. She came closer and finally stood in the kitchen and caught the two making out.

"Lexie!"

"Meredith!"


	6. 6

**Hey guys!**

 **So first of all I want to thank you for the reviews. Everytime I read them I want to write a new chapter and it gives me a lot of power. Thank you so much.**

 **I hope the last chapter wasn´t too dirty for you.**

 **Well, this chapter is a little bit different. There are also some Crowen and Izzex scenes and not only Slexie and Merder. I think I´m going to write a little bit about the other ships or people in the hospital too because I want to bring some other feelings in my story, but Slexie will still be the main thing in it. Tell me if it´s okay or if you only want a Slexie focused story. And which ships would you like to have in it?**

 **So far so good and now:**

 **ENJOY!**

"You do?" Lexie asked unsure if it was a dream again.

"I do!" Mark replied and kissed the other side of her neck.

"So does this mean that we are in a...relationship?"

"I think it does!" Mark answered and smiled.

"I love you too!"

"I know!" Mark meant and Lexie had to giggle. She laid her hand on his cheek and looked him in the eyes.

"Can I tell Meredith? She is my sister and I don´t want to lie to her.." Lexie asked. Mark automatically stopped smiling. He hesitated till he meant that it won´t be a good idea. Lexie asked him why and he replied that she would be a forbidden fruit and his best friend told him not to do it but he did and that Derek would never forgive him.

 _ ***** Ring* _Lexie´s cellphone rang. It was her dad. _What does he want? I thought that he understood what I told him.._ Lexie thought and didn´t react to his call. Mark raised one eyebrow but was also happy that he had more time with Lexie.

"Okay, um...I will wait telling Meredith about us but if she asks me...I´m not going to lie to her again.." Lexie said.

"Let me tell Derek first..He is the one whose appeal I broke." Mark wanted and Lexie nodded.

"Now...let´s enjoy the night!" Lexie said and kissed her boyfriend.

* * *

Meanwhile in the hospital:

Meredith examined Thatcher and wrote something in his chart.

"How´s Lexie?" he asked when she finished the examination.

"What do you mean? Isn´t she visiting you every day?" Meredith asked but concentrated on his MRI-results.

"No she isn´t. And I thought that when you two finish your shift you talk about your day when you´re at home." Thatcher answered and Meredith looked up from her work and looked him in the eyes.

"What do you mean with ´when you two are at home`?"

"She lives at your place, doesn´t she? She moved out. Please tell me that she lives with you and Derek.." Thatcher worried and wanted to stand up.

"Whoa lay down again!" Meredith screamed. "No..Lexie didn´t show up at our place. Where can she be?" Meredith thought loud. "The nurse will discharge you later this night. Get well soon Thatcher!" she said and left the room.

* * *

"Derek!" Meredith said when she met him on the hallways. "When is your shift over?"

"Um..in 10 minutes why? You want to get naughty?" Derek smirked and kissed his girlfriend.

"No,..I mean yes but that´s not the point." she explained and pushed him away. "Could you please look at Lexie´s if she´s there? Thatcher told me that she moved out and I´m scared that she is living in her car or something worse. Please just look after her." Derek nodded and after he went out of the hospital he drove immediately to Lexie´s.

He rang the door bell and bumped against the door. Then he decided to call her but no one reacted. He found the key under the door mat and stepped in the house.

"Lexie? Lexie? It´s me Derek. Are you here?" He asked but it was quiet. After he looked through every room he drove to his house. He opened the door and stepped into the living room where Alex, his girlfriend Izzie and Cristina were watching TV.

"Hey! Did Lexie show up?" he asked and Meredith´s friends shook their head.

"Maybe she´s at the hospital. She is the only one of my interns who really could be a good surgeon! So I hope she is there first because I don´t want to imagine what happens if the others get a complicated case." Cristina meant and opened a new bottle of beer.

"No she isn´t. She left one hour ago." Derek said and went to the fridge to grab a beer.

"Was that the last beer?" Alex asked and pointed on Cristina´s bottle.

"Yep, it was!" She said and drank it.

"You can´t drink the last beer! This isn´t even your house! You didn´t pay for that!" Alex meant angrily and Izzie told him to calm down.

"And you did?" Cristina asked and looked at him.

"No, I did." Derek replied and Christina looked at her best friend´s future husband who typed something in his cell-phone and held it to his ear. "Why is nobody reacting to my calls?!" He said and put it back on the table.

"Cristina why are you even here? I thought that Owen is back from Iraq." Izzie said and looked at her.

"Screw you!" she whispered, stood up and left the house. Alex and Izzie laughed but Derek didn´t think it was funny. He also left the house and found Cristina crying on the stairs. He sat down next to her and Cristina started talking about her problems. She told him that Owen was different since he was back. He didn´t listen and sometimes he would stare at the wall for hours. She also mentioned that he had nightmares and that he hits around himself in his sleep and hurts her without knowing. Christina rolled up her sleeve and showed Derek some bruises. He was shocked and meant that he should do a therapy.

"I told him. He always meant that he would be fine." Cristina explained. "But as you can see...he isn´t." Derek nodded and meant that she shouldn´t drive home because she drank alcohol and she isn´t in the right condition. So he took his keys and drove her to her and Owen´s apartment.

* * *

"We´re here.." he said and parked the car. Cristina was sitting there for a few more seconds and then she looked to Derek.

"Thank you...for...everything"

"You´re welcome."

Cristina opened the door and left the car. The moment she wanted to go into the building Derek exclaimed, "Cristina! Does Meredith know?" The woman shook her head weakly. "She won´t know till you are going to tell her!" Derek promised and drove away.

As soon as Cristina reached the apartment door she got scared. She shouldn´t be afraid of her boyfriend. She swiped away her tears and opened the door. Like she expected Owen was sitting on the couch and stared at the wall.

"Owen, my dear, please look at me!" she said and sat down next to him. He didn´t react.

"Owen!" Cristina said louder. He didn´t react again.

"Owen!" she shouted.

"What...why are you shouting?" He asked and looked at his sad girlfriend.

"You should go to doctor Wyatt..you are-"

"No! No! I´m not crazy! I´m a veteran! I´m not crazy! I am normal..everything´s fine!" he meant angrily and repeated that everything would be fine.

"I never wanted to say that you are crazy. But nothing is fine-"

"Everything . Is . Fine!" Owen repeated loudly. Cristina got angry.

"No . It´s . Not!" She said, stood up and put off her shirt. Owen looked at her body. There were bruises everywhere. On her arms, her hips, on her back - everywhere.

"Nothing is fine. You´re not fine. I´m not fine. I´m afraid of sleeping next to you because when you have a nightmare and you hit around I can jump out of the bed to save me from getting hurt. You´re frightened when I touch you and...and..nothing is fine." She explained and sat down again.

"I should go to doctor Wyatt.." Owen said and tears streamed down his face. Christina nodded and put his arms around him. Both started crying and sat on the couch like this the whole night.

* * *

After Derek and Cristina left the house Alex and Izzie were alone.

"So what would you like to do..?" Alex asked and kissed her. Izzie giggled and laid down on the couch. Alex kissed her neck and laid on top of her.

"We could do it wherever we want.. Derek won´t come back anytime soon and Mer´s shift goes for some more hours..." Izzie calculated and stroke through Alex hair.

"That´s it!" He answered, picked her up in bridal style and carried her to the kitchen.

"Alright..Let´s get started!"

After an hour they were finished and laid in Izzie´s bed. Alex asked which place she liked the most and Izzie answered that she loved the kitchen table and the office, but that the stairs were uncomfortable.

"I liked the kitchen too. It was risky because if someone entered the house they could see us clearly but this feeling was great." Alex meant and kissed his girlfriend. Then they paused and it was silent.

"I´m going to jump in the shower. How about you?" Izzie asked after a while but all she got was the snore of Alex. So she went alone to the bathroom and washed herself. When she finished she stepped out of the shower, grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her body. Then she took her hair brush and started brushing her hair while looking in the mirror. Suddenly she let her brush fall on the floor and turned around. _How is that possible?...No it is not possible...but I can see..._ Izzie thought when she saw her dead fiancé Denny Duquette. Memories from the day he died ran through Izzie´s head.

 _It was two years ago. He was a heart patient and Izzie fell in love with him the moment she saw him. Denny made some dirty jokes and after a few days he left the hospital. A few months later he returned because his heart was too weak. He needed a heart transplant. Doctor Preston Burke, who was Cristina´s ex-boyfriend went to the hospital where the donating heart was but another surgeon – Erica Hahn – needed it too. Izzie cut the LVAD-wire and so Denny was the patient who got the heart. The operation was successful but then he had a crippling stroke and died._

"It´s just an illusion, it´s just an illusion, it´s just an illusion, it´s just-" Izzie said but Denny looked at her with his big brown eyes.

"Why are you still here? Is it a dream or something?" She asked.

"No it´s not! I´m here for you Izzie Stevens!" Denny replied and Izzie was shocked.

"I can hear you.." she said. Then she touched his chest and immediately pulled away her hand when she felt him. "I can feel you.." she laid her hand on his chest again "I can feel your heart beat. That doesn´t make any sense. Why are you here? I´m over you. I have a boyfriend. Why are you here?"

"I´m here for you Izzie Stevens." Denny repeated.

"But what does that mean?" she asked but Denny didn´t answer.

"Izzie?" Alex asked from the other side of the door. Izzie closed her eyes and shook her head and when she opened it again Denny disappeared. She went to bed but couldn´t fall asleep. She had to think about what she saw.

* * *

Mark and Lexie were lying naked in Mark´s bed only wrapped in sheets and blankets.

"I thought our sex last night was great but this `I-love-you´sex is magnificent!" Lexie admitted and both started laughing. The two were knowing each other for only one week but it felt like million years.

"You know what would be great too?" Lexie asked Mark and he shook his head.

"A sandwich.." Lexie said and Mark started smirking.

"Okay, well, I thought we would like to have some nights on our own but um I could call Callie. Maybe she wants a `sandwich´ too.." Mark said and reached his hand towards his phone.

"No! Ew! Not like that. I mean a sandwich which you can eat. With salad and cheese and bread and not with another woman.." Lexie said disgusted.

"OH...Sorry.."Mark laughed. "I´m a little bit confused because poundcake also was a code word."

Suddenly Marks phone rang. He reached out his hand to his bedside table but Lexie stopped him before he could look who it was.

"Don´t.." she whispered and laid down on her back. "Whoever this is and whatever they want.. it can wait..." she continued and pulled him to her and kissed him. After some kisses Mark stopped.

"And what about the sandwich. Can your sandwich wait?" he asked smiling.

"Mmm...no!" Lexie answered and smiled back. Mark stood up immediately and put on his boxers. Then he went to the kitchen and started to prepare the sandwich for Lexie. He wanted to do an extra ordinary one with hard boiled egg so it took him longer then Lexie wanted to wait.

"Why does it take so long?" Lexie asked from the bed room.

"I want to make you the special Mark Sloan sandwich. It will be ready in a few minutes" He said and put the timer for the eggs on ten minutes.

* * *

After Derek brought Christina home he thought about what he could do now. He wanted a cold beer and some `adult´ friends around and not Meredith´s. He decided to call Mark again who didn´t react to his call when he was at home. And again – no answer. _Maybe his phone isn´t charged. That happens really often..._ Derek thought. _And Mark´s apartment is only 5 minutes from here and he always has some beer in his fridge._ So Derek started the engine and drove to Mark´s. Just to be sure to have beer he bought a six pack at the petrol station.

He found a parking space in front of the building where Mark lives so he parked right there. He left the car and went to the elevator because after this working day he didn´t want to take the stairs. He went to the floor where Mark´s apartment was and knocked at the door. Nobody answered. He knocked a second time. Now Derek could hear someone coming closer to the door and this someone also turned the key in the lock.

Mark opened the door and saw Derek. His heart stopped beating for a second. _Oh fuck.._ he thought when he completely realized that his best friend stood in front of his door and that the forbidden fruit was lying naked in his bed.

"Hey Mark!" Derek said and wanted to come in but Mark blocked his way.

"What are you doing here?" Mark wanted to ask confidently but his voice sounded frightened.

"I want to drink a beer with my best friend." Derek said and showed him the six pack.

"That´s not possible..I´m tired..I want to sleep." Mark stuttered

"Um...something is being cooked in your kitchen...or are you having a one night stand again?" Derek laughed. Mark swallowed.

"Mark?" He heard Lexie from his bed room and sweat pearls were running down his forehead.

"Haha..wait this voice is familiar to me...is it someone from the hospital?" Derek asked. Mark´s eyes went big.

"Oh it is...tell me is it a nurse? Or is it the cute one from radiology? Or is it-" Derek wanted to know but got interrupted by Lexie who entered the living room, her body covered in sheets.

"Mark why does it-" she said but got quiet when she saw Derek. Mark looked shocked to Lexie and Derek switched his gaze between them two.

"..Lexie?" Derek asked and the timer for the eggs went off.


	7. 7

Lexie´s heart beat fast. She covered her body with a blanket. The women was breathing loud and irregularly.

Mark´s heart beat fast. His waist was covered with a blanket and his right hand was lying on his chest. He had sweat on his forehead which he swiped away with the other hand.

"And what do you think?" Mark finally asked Lexie.

"It – it...it was amazing." Lexie replied still staring at the ceiling. She has never felt something like that before. It was the most wonderful feeling she ever had.

Mark looked at Lexie. She noticed his gaze and looked back. Their eyes met and tough it were only minutes they stared at each other it felt like hours. Mark put a wisp of her hair behind her ear.

"I´m glad you enjoyed it." He said and smiled with the typical Mark Sloan smile.

"And what about you...Did you like it?" Lexie asked and worried a bit.

"I- loved it." Mark whispered and both started smiling.

"So what does this mean...for us?" Lexie asked. Mark hesitated till he finally meant that he didn´t know. Both stared back at the ceiling.

"Little Grey?" Mark asked and looked at her. She replied his gaze and turned her head to him. But Mark didn´t continue and kissed her. Lexie replied his kiss and suddenly she was sitting on his laps. They kissed a lot and then started round two. Mark wanted to roll her over while kissing her and took her by her waist to put her down from him. But Lexie stopped him.

"Now, I´m going to take the control over you!" she said breathing heavily. Mark smirked and put his hands behind his head. Lexie started kissing his neck and chest all the way down to his hips. Her head disappeared under the blanket and her hand started stimulating his nipples. Mark moaned. Lexie stopped after he had an orgasm and kissed the same way to his mouth she was going down.

"You´re...really...good!" Mark gasped between the lots of kisses. Lexie smirked and went off Mark and laid on her back.

"Your turn!" she requested him. Mark followed her order and went down her skinny body. He kissed the inner side of her thigh. Then he got more postulating and his tongue went from her thigh up to her vagina. Lexie moaned and screamed his name. After she also had an orgasm he laid down next to her and both were breathing fast. Lexie turned around and laid her head on Mark´s chest. He looked down at her and smelled her shampoo. _Cherries..._ he thought and smiled. They both fell asleep in this position.

* * *

The next morning Mark woke up by the sound of the doorbell. He found himself in an empty bed but still naked. The clock showed that it was 6 o´clock am. _I´ve got my free day...who is ringing me out of bed?!_ He thought angrily, stood up and put on his boxer shorts. But when he opened the door from his bed room and stepped into his living room he saw Lexie and Callie sitting by the table, drinking coffee and staring at each other in an embarrassing silence. Both women looked at him. Lexie´s eyes looked like he just saved her and Callie with a disappointed look.

Lexie took the two cups which were already empty and carried them to the kitchen. Mark sat down on the chair on the opposite of Callie and she immediately started to whisper angrily, "I thought we wouldn´t sleep with hot interns?!" Mark looked guilty and Callie looked over to Lexie who was cleaning the cups. Mark looked her in the eyes and bit on his lips.

"Mark!" Callie whispered and slapped his head.

"Ah..what...why..Callie!" He meant and rubbed his head.

"I made coffee for you too.." Lexie said quietly and put a clean cup with hot coffee next to Mark. Callie looked at her with an angry gaze and Lexie reacted.

"I´m going to jump into the shower.." she said and left the room.

Callie looked back at Mark but he didn´t show any understanding. Callie shook her head and stood up to leave Mark´s apartment. He ran after her and grabbed her arm.

"Listen! Lexie isn´t a number for me. She is something special. I´ve never felt something like that when I kissed another woman and I never wanted another woman to join me at breakfast table. But when I look her in the eyes, I´m feeling like seeing my future." Mark explained. "Callie, you have to trust me. I..I´m beginning to fall in love with her!" Callie´s eyes got big and wide.

"You do?" she asked and Mark nodded. She smiled and hugged him.

"I´m happy that you finally found someone with whom you can settle down." she said and left.

Mark smiled and thought about what he said. He was thinking so hard that he didn´t notice Lexie who was standing in his bed room and heard everything. She smiled and then went to the bathroom.

"Can I join you?" Mark asked and watched Lexie washing her hair. She nodded and Mark stepped in. Before he could do something Lexie kissed him. Their kiss got more passionate when Mark pushed her against the wall. With all that action Lexie totally forgot about the shampoo in her hair which flowed into her eyes.

"Ah damn it!" She said and hold her hand on her eye.

"What?! Should I slow down?" Mark asked and interrupted what he did.

"No no no no! Ah..I got shampoo in my eye. Oh god it burns like fire!" Lexie cried and held her eye under the water. Mark helped her and after a while it stopped hurting.

"You´re okay?" Mark asked and dried his body with a towel. Lexie nodded and put on her clothes.

"I have to go to work." Lexie remembered. "Would you please be so kind and drive me to work? My car is still at the hospital."

"Sure! But only if I can invite you on a coffee." Mark answered and winked. Both laughed and left the house after they were dressed up.

"Two coffees please." Mark ordered

"Names?" the barista asked started the machine.

"Mark and Lexie."

"Mark hey!" Mark turned around when he heard his name and saw Derek.

"Der..Derek..hi!" He answered and got nervous because Lexie was sitting in his car outside and they weren´t allowed to hook up. Derek told him something but Mark couldn´t listen because he was too busy with biting on his lips.

"Two coffees for Mark and Lexie?" the barista asked and looked around. Mark closed his eyes and felt like a little child that was just caught eating cookies. Derek raised one eyebrow, "Mark and Lexie?"

"Well, you know they always spell the name wrong.." Mark lied and took the coffees. "I said Lisa!" he explained the barista which looked really bored.

"Lisa.. So is this Lisa the girl of your dreams?" Derek asked but looked like he didn´t trust his best friend.

"I know I don´t usually do this but..."Mark explained "...she got shampoo in her eye and I wanted to excuse this accident with a coffee. Well she´s waiting so I should go." he continued and left the coffee shop. Derek nodded and made his order.

* * *

"Okay give Mr. Gold 2 milligram morphine and then I will examine him." Lexie said standing by a nurse´s desk and trying to read the papers in the chart.

"Doctor Grey this man lost his leg I think he should get more than only 2 milligram." she answered.

"Um...really...um okay give him 10!" Lexie said and left the desk. _Strange.._ the nurse thought and did what she has been told.

"Good morning Lily! I´m doctor Grey and I´m going to pin a tiny needle in your arm that you can get this infusion because you´re really dehydrated." Lexie explained and the young patient nodded weakly. _Okay Lexie you just need to put this needle into her vein...you learned it and you already did it a few times...come on...why can´t I see it..._ she was sure that she would see it and put the needle on the place she thought and put it into the skin.

"Ow.." Lily screamed out.

"Oh my god I´m so sorry!" Lexie excused when she saw that the needle was 2 centimeters away of the vein.

"Are you sure you´re a doctor?!" The patient screamed.

"Like I said I´m so sorry I will send you another one!" Lexie meant and left the room. She was confused. She was pretty sure that was the vein. What happened that she couldn´t see with her right eye?

* * *

"Derek!" Lexie shouted when she saw him on the hallway. But she only earned a `hm`.

"I think I have a tumor. In my brain or somewhere which influences my eyesight." Lexie continued and ignored his sarcastic gaze.  
"Just examine me!" She said and pulled him to an examination room. After a few test Derek was sure that Lexie didn´t had a tumor. He asked if she had an accident with something that could have burned her eye. She thought about it and started laughing out loud when she remembered the accident in the shower that morning.

"Of course!" she replied and held her forehead. "this morning when I washed my hair and some shampoo flowed into my eye..Oh god I´m so stupid" she laughed. Derek looked at her and remembered what Mark told him this morning about his last one-night stand.

"Really?" Derek asked confused.

"Yes. Oh my god thank you! I´m sorry that I stole your time!" she giggled and left the examination room. _Is it possible that Mark and Lexie had something?.._ Derek thought and paged Meredith to talk with his fiance about it.

* * *

"You paged me?" Meredith wanted to know when she walked into the room.

"Yeah I think that Mark and Lexie hooked up." Derek said and looked at Meredith who was nervous and bit on her lips. "You know something, don´t you?" Meredith looked down at her shoes and thought about what she could say. After she caught them making out and fighting with her sister she wanted to tell it Derek but there never was the right moment.

"Meredith!" Derek yelled and hit his fist on the table. She was scared.

"I saw them kissing. I also thought that they had sex but they didn´t. Lexie is a virgin." Meredith explained.

"What? When?" Derek asked and lowered his voice.

"Three days ago or something like that I don´t remember when, but they only were kissing and she was sure that he changed and isn´t a womanizer anymore."

"Mark Sloan always was and will always be the biggest manwhore I know. And for your information: He told me that his one-night stand got shampoo in her eye and that´s why he bought her a coffee. You know how the woman was called?" Meredith shook her head. " `Lisa´. You know which name was on the coffee? `Lexie´! You know who came to me because she couldn´t see anything because `this morning she got shampoo in her eye´? Lexie! She slept at his place!" Derek meant and Meredith looked shocked.

"I´m going to talk with Mark" he said.

"He got his free day." Meredith noticed and meant that she would talk with Lexie. Then Derek left the room and Meredith thought about what he said.

* * *

"Lexie! Stop the elevator!" Meredith yelled and ran towards her sister. She did it and soon the two women were standing in the elevator. Meredith pressed the red button which stops the elevator and started talking to Lexie.

"Did you sleep with Mark Sloan?" Lexie hesitated a second till she answered no. Meredith looked at her sister to be sure that she wasn´t lying and then let the elevator move again.

"You know I believe you. But you shouldn´t lie to me because it´s hard to get my trust in someone back." Meredith said and left Lexie alone. She looked sad and wanted to tell her, but she knew that she should ask Mark what this thing between them should be called.

* * *

Lexie finished her shift late at night and drove to Mark´s. She knocked at his door and waited a while. Nobody opened. She knocked again and again but there was nobody who opened her. Lexie turned around and already wanted to go when suddenly Mark opened the door and stood in front of her dressed like a gentleman.

"My Lady...Would you like to come with me?" he asked while he kissed her hand. Lexie blushed and stepped in and what she saw was breathtaking. The table was decorated and there were candles everywhere and she could hear romantic music.

"What..is that?" Lexie asked surprised and couldn´t help but smile.

"I wanted to surprise you with a romantic dinner.." Mark answered and showed her her seat.

"Well, you were successful.." she meant and sat down.

"I wanted to cook for you till I noticed that every grocery shop was closed, so um.. I hope you like chinese food?" Mark admitted. Lexie smiled and grabbed his hand.

"I would love to eat chinese food with you!" she replied lovely. A few moments later the food was there and they both ate it, laughed and drank wine. It was a wonderful night and Lexie couldn´t stop thinking about why he did this. After everything was eaten, Mark washed the dishes and Lexie looked with her wineglass in her hand out of the window.

"I love the view over Seattle.." she whispered. Suddenly Lexie had a daydream in which Mark stood behind her. He said, "I love you!" and kissed her neck. Although it was a dream it felt so real and Lexie was shocked by his words.

"I love you too!" Lexie dreamed out loud.

"What?" Mark asked and Lexie´s eyes went big when she noticed that all was just a dream and she said it loud.

"Nothing!" Lexie replied quickly and hoped that Mark didn´t hear her – but he did. And he smiled.

"You know, sometimes you should say what you think...then we can find a solution or can enjoy every second.." He replied and came closer to her. Lexie thought about it but decided not to repeat it.

"You know if you love someone you tell ´em. Even if you´re scared that it´s not the right thing, even if you scared that it´ll cause problems, even if you´re scared that it will burn your life to the ground. You say it and you say it loud." He explained and suddenly his body touched hers and his hand stroke through her hair. Lexie blushed and opened her mouth. She looked in his eyes and he nodded.

"I..." She wanted to say but closed her mouth. Mark smiled and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too, little Grey!" he said and kissed her softly.


	8. 8

**Hey guys!**

 **So first of all I want to thank you for the reviews. Everytime I read them I want to write a new chapter and it gives me a lot of power. Thank you so much.**

 **I hope the last chapter wasn´t too dirty for you.**

 **Well, this chapter is a little bit different. There are also some Crowen and Izzex scenes and not only Slexie and Merder. I think I´m going to write a little bit about the other ships or people in the hospital too because I want to bring some other feelings in my story, but Slexie will still be the main thing in it. Tell me if it´s okay or if you only want a Slexie focused story. And which ships would you like to have in it?**

 **So far so good and now:**

 **ENJOY!**

"You do?" Lexie asked unsure if it was a dream again.

"I do!" Mark replied and kissed the other side of her neck.

"So does this mean that we are in a...relationship?"

"I think it does!" Mark answered and smiled.

"I love you too!"

"I know!" Mark meant and Lexie had to giggle. She laid her hand on his cheek and looked him in the eyes.

"Can I tell Meredith? She is my sister and I don´t want to lie to her.." Lexie asked. Mark automatically stopped smiling. He hesitated till he meant that it won´t be a good idea. Lexie asked him why and he replied that she would be a forbidden fruit and his best friend told him not to do it but he did and that Derek would never forgive him.

 _ ***** Ring* _Lexie´s cellphone rang. It was her dad. _What does he want? I thought that he understood what I told him.._ Lexie thought and didn´t react to his call. Mark raised one eyebrow but was also happy that he had more time with Lexie.

"Okay, um...I will wait telling Meredith about us but if she asks me...I´m not going to lie to her again.." Lexie said.

"Let me tell Derek first..He is the one whose appeal I broke." Mark wanted and Lexie nodded.

"Now...let´s enjoy the night!" Lexie said and kissed her boyfriend.

* * *

Meanwhile in the hospital:

Meredith examined Thatcher and wrote something in his chart.

"How´s Lexie?" he asked when she finished the examination.

"What do you mean? Isn´t she visiting you every day?" Meredith asked but concentrated on his MRI-results.

"No she isn´t. And I thought that when you two finish your shift you talk about your day when you´re at home." Thatcher answered and Meredith looked up from her work and looked him in the eyes.

"What do you mean with ´when you two are at home`?"

"She lives at your place, doesn´t she? She moved out. Please tell me that she lives with you and Derek.." Thatcher worried and wanted to stand up.

"Whoa lay down again!" Meredith screamed. "No..Lexie didn´t show up at our place. Where can she be?" Meredith thought loud. "The nurse will discharge you later this night. Get well soon Thatcher!" she said and left the room.

* * *

"Derek!" Meredith said when she met him on the hallways. "When is your shift over?"

"Um..in 10 minutes why? You want to get naughty?" Derek smirked and kissed his girlfriend.

"No,..I mean yes but that´s not the point." she explained and pushed him away. "Could you please look at Lexie´s if she´s there? Thatcher told me that she moved out and I´m scared that she is living in her car or something worse. Please just look after her." Derek nodded and after he went out of the hospital he drove immediately to Lexie´s.

He rang the door bell and bumped against the door. Then he decided to call her but no one reacted. He found the key under the door mat and stepped in the house.

"Lexie? Lexie? It´s me Derek. Are you here?" He asked but it was quiet. After he looked through every room he drove to his house. He opened the door and stepped into the living room where Alex, his girlfriend Izzie and Cristina were watching TV.

"Hey! Did Lexie show up?" he asked and Meredith´s friends shook their head.

"Maybe she´s at the hospital. She is the only one of my interns who really could be a good surgeon! So I hope she is there first because I don´t want to imagine what happens if the others get a complicated case." Cristina meant and opened a new bottle of beer.

"No she isn´t. She left one hour ago." Derek said and went to the fridge to grab a beer.

"Was that the last beer?" Alex asked and pointed on Cristina´s bottle.

"Yep, it was!" She said and drank it.

"You can´t drink the last beer! This isn´t even your house! You didn´t pay for that!" Alex meant angrily and Izzie told him to calm down.

"And you did?" Cristina asked and looked at him.

"No, I did." Derek replied and Christina looked at her best friend´s future husband who typed something in his cell-phone and held it to his ear. "Why is nobody reacting to my calls?!" He said and put it back on the table.

"Cristina why are you even here? I thought that Owen is back from Iraq." Izzie said and looked at her.

"Screw you!" she whispered, stood up and left the house. Alex and Izzie laughed but Derek didn´t think it was funny. He also left the house and found Cristina crying on the stairs. He sat down next to her and Cristina started talking about her problems. She told him that Owen was different since he was back. He didn´t listen and sometimes he would stare at the wall for hours. She also mentioned that he had nightmares and that he hits around himself in his sleep and hurts her without knowing. Christina rolled up her sleeve and showed Derek some bruises. He was shocked and meant that he should do a therapy.

"I told him. He always meant that he would be fine." Cristina explained. "But as you can see...he isn´t." Derek nodded and meant that she shouldn´t drive home because she drank alcohol and she isn´t in the right condition. So he took his keys and drove her to her and Owen´s apartment.

* * *

"We´re here.." he said and parked the car. Cristina was sitting there for a few more seconds and then she looked to Derek.

"Thank you...for...everything"

"You´re welcome."

Cristina opened the door and left the car. The moment she wanted to go into the building Derek exclaimed, "Cristina! Does Meredith know?" The woman shook her head weakly. "She won´t know till you are going to tell her!" Derek promised and drove away.

As soon as Cristina reached the apartment door she got scared. She shouldn´t be afraid of her boyfriend. She swiped away her tears and opened the door. Like she expected Owen was sitting on the couch and stared at the wall.

"Owen, my dear, please look at me!" she said and sat down next to him. He didn´t react.

"Owen!" Cristina said louder. He didn´t react again.

"Owen!" she shouted.

"What...why are you shouting?" He asked and looked at his sad girlfriend.

"You should go to doctor Wyatt..you are-"

"No! No! I´m not crazy! I´m a veteran! I´m not crazy! I am normal..everything´s fine!" he meant angrily and repeated that everything would be fine.

"I never wanted to say that you are crazy. But nothing is fine-"

"Everything . Is . Fine!" Owen repeated loudly. Cristina got angry.

"No . It´s . Not!" She said, stood up and put off her shirt. Owen looked at her body. There were bruises everywhere. On her arms, her hips, on her back - everywhere.

"Nothing is fine. You´re not fine. I´m not fine. I´m afraid of sleeping next to you because when you have a nightmare and you hit around I can jump out of the bed to save me from getting hurt. You´re frightened when I touch you and...and..nothing is fine." She explained and sat down again.

"I should go to doctor Wyatt.." Owen said and tears streamed down his face. Christina nodded and put his arms around him. Both started crying and sat on the couch like this the whole night.

* * *

After Derek and Cristina left the house Alex and Izzie were alone.

"So what would you like to do..?" Alex asked and kissed her. Izzie giggled and laid down on the couch. Alex kissed her neck and laid on top of her.

"We could do it wherever we want.. Derek won´t come back anytime soon and Mer´s shift goes for some more hours..." Izzie calculated and stroke through Alex hair.

"That´s it!" He answered, picked her up in bridal style and carried her to the kitchen.

"Alright..Let´s get started!"

After an hour they were finished and laid in Izzie´s bed. Alex asked which place she liked the most and Izzie answered that she loved the kitchen table and the office, but that the stairs were uncomfortable.

"I liked the kitchen too. It was risky because if someone entered the house they could see us clearly but this feeling was great." Alex meant and kissed his girlfriend. Then they paused and it was silent.

"I´m going to jump in the shower. How about you?" Izzie asked after a while but all she got was the snore of Alex. So she went alone to the bathroom and washed herself. When she finished she stepped out of the shower, grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her body. Then she took her hair brush and started brushing her hair while looking in the mirror. Suddenly she let her brush fall on the floor and turned around. _How is that possible?...No it is not possible...but I can see..._ Izzie thought when she saw her dead fiancé Denny Duquette. Memories from the day he died ran through Izzie´s head.

 _It was two years ago. He was a heart patient and Izzie fell in love with him the moment she saw him. Denny made some dirty jokes and after a few days he left the hospital. A few months later he returned because his heart was too weak. He needed a heart transplant. Doctor Preston Burke, who was Cristina´s ex-boyfriend went to the hospital where the donating heart was but another surgeon – Erica Hahn – needed it too. Izzie cut the LVAD-wire and so Denny was the patient who got the heart. The operation was successful but then he had a crippling stroke and died._

"It´s just an illusion, it´s just an illusion, it´s just an illusion, it´s just-" Izzie said but Denny looked at her with his big brown eyes.

"Why are you still here? Is it a dream or something?" She asked.

"No it´s not! I´m here for you Izzie Stevens!" Denny replied and Izzie was shocked.

"I can hear you.." she said. Then she touched his chest and immediately pulled away her hand when she felt him. "I can feel you.." she laid her hand on his chest again "I can feel your heart beat. That doesn´t make any sense. Why are you here? I´m over you. I have a boyfriend. Why are you here?"

"I´m here for you Izzie Stevens." Denny repeated.

"But what does that mean?" she asked but Denny didn´t answer.

"Izzie?" Alex asked from the other side of the door. Izzie closed her eyes and shook her head and when she opened it again Denny disappeared. She went to bed but couldn´t fall asleep. She had to think about what she saw.

* * *

Mark and Lexie were lying naked in Mark´s bed only wrapped in sheets and blankets.

"I thought our sex last night was great but this `I-love-you´sex is magnificent!" Lexie admitted and both started laughing. The two were knowing each other for only one week but it felt like million years.

"You know what would be great too?" Lexie asked Mark and he shook his head.

"A sandwich.." Lexie said and Mark started smirking.

"Okay, well, I thought we would like to have some nights on our own but um I could call Callie. Maybe she wants a `sandwich´ too.." Mark said and reached his hand towards his phone.

"No! Ew! Not like that. I mean a sandwich which you can eat. With salad and cheese and bread and not with another woman.." Lexie said disgusted.

"OH...Sorry.."Mark laughed. "I´m a little bit confused because poundcake also was a code word."

Suddenly Marks phone rang. He reached out his hand to his bedside table but Lexie stopped him before he could look who it was.

"Don´t.." she whispered and laid down on her back. "Whoever this is and whatever they want.. it can wait..." she continued and pulled him to her and kissed him. After some kisses Mark stopped.

"And what about the sandwich. Can your sandwich wait?" he asked smiling.

"Mmm...no!" Lexie answered and smiled back. Mark stood up immediately and put on his boxers. Then he went to the kitchen and started to prepare the sandwich for Lexie. He wanted to do an extra ordinary one with hard boiled egg so it took him longer then Lexie wanted to wait.

"Why does it take so long?" Lexie asked from the bed room.

"I want to make you the special Mark Sloan sandwich. It will be ready in a few minutes" He said and put the timer for the eggs on ten minutes.

* * *

After Derek brought Christina home he thought about what he could do now. He wanted a cold beer and some `adult´ friends around and not Meredith´s. He decided to call Mark again who didn´t react to his call when he was at home. And again – no answer. _Maybe his phone isn´t charged. That happens really often..._ Derek thought. _And Mark´s apartment is only 5 minutes from here and he always has some beer in his fridge._ So Derek started the engine and drove to Mark´s. Just to be sure to have beer he bought a six pack at the petrol station.

He found a parking space in front of the building where Mark lives so he parked right there. He left the car and went to the elevator because after this working day he didn´t want to take the stairs. He went to the floor where Mark´s apartment was and knocked at the door. Nobody answered. He knocked a second time. Now Derek could hear someone coming closer to the door and this someone also turned the key in the lock.

Mark opened the door and saw Derek. His heart stopped beating for a second. _Oh fuck.._ he thought when he completely realized that his best friend stood in front of his door and that the forbidden fruit was lying naked in his bed.

"Hey Mark!" Derek said and wanted to come in but Mark blocked his way.

"What are you doing here?" Mark wanted to ask confidently but his voice sounded frightened.

"I want to drink a beer with my best friend." Derek said and showed him the six pack.

"That´s not possible..I´m tired..I want to sleep." Mark stuttered

"Um...something is being cooked in your kitchen...or are you having a one night stand again?" Derek laughed. Mark swallowed.

"Mark?" He heard Lexie from his bed room and sweat pearls were running down his forehead.

"Haha..wait this voice is familiar to me...is it someone from the hospital?" Derek asked. Mark´s eyes went big.

"Oh it is...tell me is it a nurse? Or is it the cute one from radiology? Or is it-" Derek wanted to know but got interrupted by Lexie who entered the living room, her body covered in sheets.

"Mark why does it-" she said but got quiet when she saw Derek. Mark looked shocked to Lexie and Derek switched his gaze between them two.

"..Lexie?" Derek asked and the timer for the eggs went off.


	9. 9

Lexie´s eyes went big. _Oh my god please tell me it´s just a bad dream...Derek?!_ She thought. Derek didn´t say anything. He stood there and his eyes switched between Lexie and Mark. Mark didn´t know what to do. He looked down at his feet and tried to look calm but his inner voice screamed, "What the hell...oh my god...he saw her...oh my god what should I do now?!"

Derek cleared his throat closed his eyes and took a long breath. Then he opened them again and looked in Mark´s terrified face. He formed his hand to a fist and hit it against Mark´s eye.

"Ahh!" He screamed and went one step back. Derek shook his hand to ignore the pain and looked to Lexie who was shocked.

"Okay I think I earned that.." Mark said and rubbed his eye. But before he could say anything more Derek hit him again. Mark fell down at the floor and screamed because of the pain. Lexie, who was still wrapped in a sheet ran to him and calmed him down. Derek looked at the two and shook his head.

"I thought you were my friend! I thought you could do something I tell you, for once. But you have always been a self centered jerk!" He said and left the apartment. He was going towards the elevator when someone put a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and the first thing he saw was Mark´s fist which hit against his jaw.

"I´m not self centered. And I didn´t earn the second one!" He said. Only seconds later the two men were fighting and Lexie couldn´t stop them. She put on one of Marks t-shirts and tried to push them apart.

"Stop! Stop!" she yelled but it didn´t work. After a while you couldn´t see who had the bleeding nose and and whose lip was bleeding.

"What´s going on here?!" Meredith screamed as she saw the men fighting and Lexie looking helpless.

"Mer! Please stop them!" she screamed and without asking why Lexie is standing there just in a shirt she tried. After a while she stopped them and was really furious.

"Why are you fighting?!" she asked angrily.

"Ask them!" Derek said and pointed on the other man and Meredith´s sister. She looked at them and now she realized what´s really going on.

"Are you two..." she said and Mark looked to Lexie who bit on her lip nervously.

"We´re a couple!" Mark said and all three looked at him quite shocked. "We love each other and we-"

"You know each other for one week! Why are you talking like you would marry her tonight?!" Derek meant and tried to keep calm.

"Can we please talk about this in the hospital? You two have to scan your nose and jaw! They do not look good!" Meredith said and switched her gaze between Mark and Derek. "Put on something that is more suitable than that.." she said and pointed on Lexie. "And you too!" she looked at Mark who was still in his boxers.

After everyone was dressed they sat in Meredith´s car and drove to the hospital.

"Why were you here?" Derek, who was sitting on the backseat with Mark, asked.

"I was at home but Izzie and Alex were sleeping so I thought you would be here or at Joe´s. This one was closer so I wanted to come here first and guess what..I found you!" she answered still mad.

"I´m so sorry for this Mer!" Lexie said but Meredith ignored her. Lexie looked out of the window and fought with her tears from leaving her eyes.

* * *

"Okay it´s not broken but you should get rest and don´t touch it!" doctor Bailey said when she examined Mark and Derek. "I think I don´t want to know but how did this happen?"

"It was because he doesn´t want me to sleep-" Mark said but Derek cut him off.

"You´re right you don´t want to know!" Bailey nodded and put a coolbag on Mark´s hand. Derek looked at it and had to laugh mad.

"Why are you laughing?!" Mark asked madly.

"Haha I thought that we were adults and that the times we would fight because of a girl were over." Derek answered but he didn´t seem to forgive him.

"Okay you´re ready you can go. But don´t forget: you need to rest and you´re not allowed to operate till your hand is okay again!" Bailey said and Mark stood up. Bailey took some Q-tips and cleaned the cut on Derek´s cheek.

"You´ve always had to be the first Mark!" he yelled after him but Mark ignored him. Bailey raised her eyebrows and attended to his face.

* * *

Mark was talking with another doctor and gave him his cases.

"I think that you are a surgeon which is okay. So please just don´t mess up with these patients!" he said and the other surgeon left him frightened. Mark put his hand on the desk and gave the coolbag which got warm during the conversation to a nurse and she went back to the freezer to bring him another one.

"Hey you!" Lexie said and laid her hand on his.

"Ahh!" he screamed. "The hand!"

"Oh my god I´m so sorry!" Lexie claimed and put her hand away. "What did doctor Bailey say?"

"Well, my nose isn´t broken and she didn´t had to sew me. But my hand is cheated and I have to rest till it´s healthy and that means two weeks no o.r." Mark explained and Lexie looked down at her shoes and whispered that she´s sorry.

"Well it´s four a.m. I think we can drive home and get some sleep.." Mark suggested. Lexie smiled and Mark put his arm around her shoulder. Lexie was so happy that they could publish their love to each other and grabbed his hand.

"Ahhh! The hand!" Mark screamed and Lexie excused herself again.

* * *

"Derek you´re also not allowed to operate the next few days. It´s pretty stupid of you two to fight with your million dollar hands!" Bailey explained and finished Derek´s examination.

"Mhm...So I can´t operate because of this jerk..." Derek meant angrily and went outside the room where Meredith waited. She grabbed his arm and wanted to calm him down but he pulled it away and ignored his fiancé.

* * *

7 a.m.:

Mer´s:

The alarm went off and Alex reached his hand out to stop it. As he turned around he saw the empty sheet on the other side and wondered where Izzie could be. Suddenly he heard a voice from the kitchen. He went down the stairs and saw his girlfriend standing in the kitchen and talking to herself.

"I want you to stop!" she yelled and looked out of the window. Alex came a little bit closer and listened to what she was saying.

"What does that mean `I´m here because of you´?" she asked and threw a knife into the sink.

"Iz?" Alex finally said and she turned around with a shocked face.

"Alex!" she said and couldn´t move anymore. Alex came closer and took her hands. He looked worried and asked her what was wrong. Tears filled Izzie´s eyes and she started crying. Alex put his arms around her.

"I can see Denny Duquette..." Izzie snuffled. Alex went back and looked confused.

"I can do more...I can touch him, I can feel him, I can smell him, I can feel his heartbeat and...and...and.." She cried. "I don´t know what´s wrong with me but I know that this isn´t good..."

"You just miss him and I understand that. And maybe you´re just dreaming.." Alex said and hold his girlfriend.

* * *

Christina´s:

Owen slowly stood up and went to the kitchen. He didn´t want to wake Christina. He made coffee and called doctor Wyatt.

"I want to make an appointment...As soon as possible...30 minutes? Great I will be right there!" Owen whispered and hung up. He drank his coffee,wrote a note for Christina, took the keys to his car and drove to the hospital. Christina woke up by the noise of her ringing cell phone. She looked around and when she couldn´t see her boyfriend she picked up.  
"Izzie? Izzie what´s wrong?" Christina said. "Stop crying I can´t understand you!...Okay we´ll meet in 20 minutes in the hospital."

She dressed up and went to the kitchen where Owen left the note and a cup of coffee.

 _I´m at doctor Wyatt´s and I´m going to have regular meetings with her._

 _Love you,_

 _Owen_

Christina smiled and drank her coffee. Then she took the keys to her motorbike because her car was still at Mer´s. She drove to the hospital where Izzie was waiting for her and the two went to an empty patient room.

* * *

Mark´s:

Lexie and Mark kissed a lot and couldn´t stop but both needed to get dressed for work.

"Lexie we need to go!" Mark gasped.

"Come on! We don´t have to be there till 8 o´clock!" Lexie replied and pulled his face to her´s again.

"But we need to dress up and I don´t really want to see Derek today so I need to be in the changing room before he is." Mark meant and stopped her.

"Okay. Fine. Go." Lexie said flirty. Mark turned around and wanted to stand up but Lexie grabbed his arm.

"No. Noo!" she laughed and pulled him back to her. Both laughed and kissed again. Suddenly Lexie´s cell phone rang. She sighed and told him that she won´t pick up, but Mark meant that it could be something important. Lexie thought a second about it and then looked at her display.

"Izzie Stevens? What could she want?" Lexie asked and Mark raised an eyebrow.

"Hello?...Um..sure, yes. I´ll be there in a few minutes." Lexie meant and looked to Mark as she hung up.

"I think we should go.." she smiled and they immediately got dressed and drove to the hospital.

* * *

"Izzie!" Christina asked worried. "What´s the matter?"

"I´ll tell you in a few seconds!" she answered and guided her into an empty patient room where Lexie was sitting on the bed.

"What is she doing here?" Christina asked and pointed on her intern.

"I´m also glad to see you doctor Yang." Lexie smiled and ignored her bored face.

"I need you two because you are the best intern," Izzie said and looked at Lexie "And you and I we are not the best friends and I believe that you don´t like me that much." she continued and looked at Christina.

"Er.." Christina replied but Izzie stopped her.

"No that´s good! I think I´m sick, in fact, I´m pretty sure I am. I want you to do some test. CT, MRI, blood, everything. Just do it!" Izzie meant and pulled a car with all supplies out of the bathroom. Lexie and Christina looked at each other and then at Izzie who ordered them to do what she wanted.

After a few tests and scans they met in the patient room again to discuss what they found out.

"There´s nothing wrong with you Iz." Christina started and showed her the scans. "No tumors, no aneurysm, no fluid, nothing is wrong with you." Izzie looked at the scans and couldn´t believe what she saw. Everything was fine. But why was Denny back?

"But the results of your blood-test showed us something..."Lexie continued and gave the results to Izzie. "Your LDH-worth is too high. But this can have a lot of reasons and it´s not that high." Izzie nodded and checked everything on the paper Lexie gave her. Lexie looked at Christina who showed her with her hand that she should continue.

"We also found out that there is another thing happening with you.." Lexie meant and Izzie looked at her, ready to hear something really bad. "You´re pregnant. For five months." Izzie looked at her and her facial expression didn´t change. It was a kind of shock, sadness, happiness and surprise.

"Excuse me?" she asked and switched between Lexie and Christina. "That´s not possible. I had bleedings. Sometimes they were irregularly, but I got them every month!" Christina nodded and told her that this would be common and that a lot of women got some bleeding during pregnancy. Izzie was sure she had to be sick. These Denny-illusions couldn´t be just dreams and a pregnancy also doesn´t cause this.

"Okay,..um thank you.." she said and took the results. She wanted to leave but Christina stopped her.

"Shouldn´t we do an ultra sound? To check if everything´s fine...with the baby.." she said and pointed on the ultra sound machine. Izzie nodded and laid down at the patient´s bed. Lexie and Christina prepared her and look at the machine.

"Okay everything´s great...oh do you want to know the gender?" Lexie asked and Izzie nodded.

"well,...it´s a boy! Congratulations!" Lexie said happily and Izzie looked at the pictures. Her eyes filled with tears and Lexie noticed it. "Or no congratulations...I...I don´t know...it´s too late for an abortion, isn´t it?" Izzie shook her head and told her that she didn´t want to have one. She took the pictures and results and left the room. Christina and Lexie cleaned up and then also left it for a consult.

* * *

Later that day Izzie studied her test results because she still couldn´t believe that she was healthy. She thought about strategies how to find out what´s wrong without everyone knowing that it would be her. Then she had an idea. Lately the interns weren´t as motivated as they should be and so she wanted to do a contest. She crossed out her name on the scans and put a sticker with `patient X´ on it and asked her colleagues if she could borrow their interns. Of course they said yes because for the most they were just a pain on their necks.

"Okay guys..this is patient X!" Izzie welcomed the interns and put her pictures on the light screen. "She is sick but her scans don´t show any irregularities. Her LDH-worth is too high and that´s the only thing that´s not okay...oh and she´s pregnant!" Izzie continued and looked through the crowd. Lexie was also there and noticed that patient X´ scans were Izzie´s but haven´t said anything.

"You have to find out what´s wrong with her and you better do it fast because...she wants a future for her baby!"


	10. 10

"This patient is fine! She doesn´t have any disease." one intern meant and Izzie shook her head.

"No! Patient X isn´t fine! She saw her dead fiancé, she could touch him! She is not fine!" Izzie explained. It´s been one week since the interns had to find out what´s wrong with patient X and they didn´t have any clue. Izzie was desperate. She was sick and didn´t know what she had and nobody could find out what it was and her baby was on the best way to loose it´s mother for sure.

"Doctor Stevens we are really sorry for this woman but we don´t know what she has. And we want to learn something. Something with patients which are really sick and not with a hypochondriac!" another intern explained.

"You want to learn something?" Izzie meant angrily "Then find out what she has! She is sick! She´s not a hypochondriac!" she was sure and leaned against the wall. "She is sick. She is sick. She is sick." Izzie whispered and the interns began to look at the scans again. Lexie noticed in which bad condition Izzie was and went to her. She asked her for some medical advice so they could leave the room.

"Is everything okay?" Lexie asked looking worried, after checking if nobody was listening.

"No nothing is fine! I am pregnant and sick and nobody knows what I have.." Izzie meant huskily and stopped her tears from streaming down her face. Lexie held Izzie´s arm and and looked her in the eyes.

"Have you told him already?" she asked and Izzie shook her head. She explained, that she didn´t know how she should tell Alex and that she didn´t want to tell him till she knew what was wrong with her. Lexie nodded and decided to look harder for Izzie´s disease.

* * *

"Hey Lex!" Mark said and came closer to his official girlfriend and kissed her. Lexie had to giggle and Mark stopped kissing her.

"Why are you laughing. Is there something between my teeth?" Mark asked and hold his hand in front of his mouth.

"No your teeth are beautiful! It´s just...amazing that we can kiss in public.."Lexie replied and kissed him again. Now he had to smile too and asked her if she would like to go into an empty on-call room.

"I would love to, but I have to do something for doctor Stevens.." Mark looked disappointed and Lexie tried to cheer him up with a little dirty talk about what she wanted to do when their home. Mark smiled again, kissed her and left her for an appointment with doctor Bailey because she wanted to examine his hand. Lexie loved the way he kissed her. His soft lips touching hers was the most exciting feeling and she never wanted to feel something else. Her hand touched her lips which still felt tingly. Then she reminded herself that she wanted to study in the library and went there.

As she entered it she could see that there was nobody. So she walked through the library and looked at some books when she suddenly saw two women kissing.

"Ahh!" Lexie screamed because she didn´t expected them. The women turned around and Lexie recognized Callie and a blond woman she didn´t know.

"Little Grey!" Callie shouted and the blond woman looked at them.

"Little Grey? So you are the girlfriend of Mark Sloan?" she asked and came closer. Lexie got goose bumps when she heard `Mark Sloan´s girlfriend´. "I´m Arizona Robbins, peds." she continued and reached out her hand. Lexie shook Arizona´s hand and looked back at Callie who didn´t move at all. Then she came closer and told Lexie that she wanted to talk to her alone and pulled her aside while Arizona Robbins looked through the books.

"Listen! I´m a newbie with this...well, you know...vagina-thing and I think that I like it and that I like her..I mean I also like penises, yeah really, I love penises but something about this woman over there gives me a feeling that I would never need a penis again.."Callie laughed and Lexie raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I don´t really want to know-"Lexie meant but Callie cut her off and Lexie bit on her lip.

"The point is: Don´t tell Mark! I want to tell him but not yet. I want to try out what I really feel at first okay?" Lexie nodded and both went back to Arizona who´s pager suddenly went off.

"Hum..e.r. I should go!" she meant and Callie decided to go with her, maybe they would need an ortho consult. Lexie went back to her work and searched for some interesting books till she found one that sounded like the solution.

* * *

"You should talk to him!" Meredith meant.

"I don´t know why I should!" Derek answered and walked away from the nurse´s desk.

"Because he´s your best friend!" she replied and followed him.

"Was! He was my best friend." he let her know and walked a little bit faster.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd don´t act like a child! Stay! De- Derek!" Meredith yelled and ran after him.

"Stop yelling at me!" Derek stopped walking and showed her with his hand not to come closer. "I´m an adult and Mark did so many things that weren´t right. I´m not ready yet!" Derek turned around and continued his way but this time Meredith didn´t follow.

"What´s going on?" Christina asked as she saw Meredith standing in the middle of the hallways.

"Nothing...nothing.." she replied and they both went to the cafeteria to eat something.

* * *

"Sadie! Sadie!" Lexie screamed and ran after her friend. "I´m glad I found you. Listen, I found something for Izzie´s patient X! Here look at this book!" she meant and handed out the big fat book she found.

"Melanoma – everything a doctor should know ? Why do you think she has cancer?" Sadie replied and raised her eyebrows.

"Because in the chapter about metastatic melanoma there are the results of tests listed and sometimes you can´t find something that seems wrong just some irregularities at the blood tests. I think that´s what patient X has!" Lexie explained and Sadie thought about it. Then she meant that Lexie should tell the other interns and that they should meet with Izzie Stevens to talk about that idea. So she did and one hour later everyone knew about Lexie´s idea and Izzie came into the room where her scans and so on were.

"Doctor stevens we might have found out what patient X´disease is." Sadie began and Izzie´s eyes went big. _They found out what I have? Oh my god please just let it be something easy to cure.._ Izzie thought. She showed with her hand that they should continue.

"Well, we think that the patient has.."Lexie began but something stopped her from talking as she looked in Izzie´s big, brown, frightened eyes. As Sadie saw that Lexie couldn´t speak anymore she continued, "We think that she has stage IV metastatic melanoma which spread to her brain. That´s why she had these illusions."

The whole room was quite inclusive Izzie. She didn´t know what to say. She knew the interns had to be right because there was no other medical solution.

"So what´s the survival rate?" she asked quietly and Lexie´s eyes got wetter and wetter.

"Well, we think that there could be more metastases so I would say something about 5%. If I would be her I would go on a long and expensive trip." Steve meant and Izzie nodded. She told the interns that they could go and everyone left – besides Lexie.

"Are you okay?" she asked but immediately noticed that this question was totally unnecessary.

"You now who the patient is. What would you tell me if you were my doctor. You know what Steve said wasn´t helpful." Izzie asked and Lexie nodded.

"I would tell you that 5% aren´t really a good expectation but we have great doctors and there is the chemotherapy and other treatments and that-" Lexie started but Izzie interrupted her.

"No! You know patient X is me. What are you telling me to do after you gave me the diagnosis? You want me to just give up because these are the odds?"

"You know what? Screw the odds! People die of hiccups. My mother died of hiccups and the survival rate for that is what? 100%? The odds are that she should be alive right now. The odds are... The odds mean crap! People should face it and fight!" Lexie replied and Izzie started smiling. "Maybe I won´t say it completely like that-"

"No! No..that was good. Really good...I should tell Alex that I´m pregnant right?" Izzie asked and Lexie nodded.

"Thank you! I know you found it! I really want to thank you!" Izzie meant and hugged Lexie.

* * *

Mark heard foot steps outside on the hallway. He prepared the bed with some roses and a little box in which there was a present for Lexie. It was already 9 p.m. and he wanted to surprise her with this present and later they would have great sex. Well, that´s what he imagined. It knocked at the door and Mark opened it with a lovely smile.

"Hey beautiful.." he meant and kissed his girlfriend.

"Hey.." she replied smiling. Mark let her come in and she was suspicious since the first minute. There were candles everywhere and the smell of roses filled the air. But she shook her head softly because she was sure that she would imagine that.

"God I´m starving...Is there something of the pizza from yesterday left?" she meant tired and went to the fridge. Mark´s smile was gone because he didn´t expected her to be bored.

"Well actually I thought we would go somewhere to eat something. Maybe the Italian over the street?" Mark suggested and pointed on the door.

"That´s cute but I also like the pizza here and I really don´t want to put on something more suitable than these jeans and shirt. But I would like to put on something more comfortable.." Lexie meant and went towards the bedroom.

"No!" Mark screamed but it was too late and Lexie stood in the bedroom full with flowers and candles and a little black box in the middle of the bed. Lexie´s eyes went big and she opened her mouth. Was this just a dream? _Oh my god does he want to propose? We don´t know each other so good to get married...and I´m not ready yet!_ She thought and turned around. Mark stood there and didn´t know what to say.

"I´m sorry Mark I think I...I have to go.." Lexie meant and walked to the door.

"Wait, what?" he replied "It´s not how it seems it shouldn´t be a...where do you want to go.."

"I´m so sorry I love you but this is going too fast for me...I´m at Mer´s." she said and left Mark behind. He didn´t understand the world. Why won´t she let him talk and why was she so afraid of his present though she didn´t even know what it was. Like Lexie said she drove to her sister´s house. She began crying in her car. It hurt her so much that she hurt Mark and that she left him alone but she was so shocked and this was the first thing her brain thought about – run away!

* * *

When she arrived at the house she knocked a few times at the door and a little bit later Alex Karev opened her.

"Little Grey? What are you doing here?" he asked and looked at her red eyes.

"Is my sister here?" she cried. "Is Meredith there?" Alex nodded and let her in. She stepped into the living room where Izzie was sitting and looked confused as she saw Lexie. Over telepathic conversation Lexie asked her if she already told him and Izzie shook her head softly. Then Alex told their guest that Meredith would be in the kitchen with Derek and Lexie immediately went there.

"Hey!" she said when she entered the kitchen. Derek, who was sitting by the table turned around and Meredith put her wine glass on the table.

"What are you doing here?" Meredith asked and Lexie fought with her tears again.

"I´m...He...I...Can I stay here tonight?" she asked and Derek looked at Meredith. His face expression went from confused to suspicious. _Did he beat her? Did they have a fight? Did he break up with her?_ he fought and Lexie continued like she could read his mind.

"He did nothing wrong I...I left. It´s...complicated.."

"We are masters in complicated. Of course you can stay here. Since Izzie and Alex are a couple there is a room left. Lexie nodded and Meredith brought her to the bedroom. Lexie put off her jeans and laid down on the bed. But she couldn´t fall asleep. She had to think about Mark and the little black box the whole time. The last time she looked at the clock before she finally fell asleep it was something about 3 am.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Derek asked suspicious as he went to the kitchen the next morning.

"I´m cooking." Meredith meant and threw away some egg shells.

"You? You are cooking? Why?" he laughed and Mer looked at him angrily.

"Lexie had a hard night. I want to be a good sister, that´s why I´m cooking." she replied and chopped some pepper. Derek was really surprised. Meredith never cooked besides thanksgiving or other holidays. So he sat down by the table and started a conversation.

* * *

Alex turned around and saw Izzie sitting in the bed and starring at the wall.

"Good morning!" he said and kissed her on the cheek. Izzie nodded and stared on the wall. _Should I tell him? Or should I do something romantic? I mean I´m close to death I...I..I don´t know.._ Izzie thought. Alex raised an eyebrow but didn´t react to his vacantly girlfriend.

"What do you think about children?" she asked as he stood up.

"Children? Well, they are loud, they put everything in their mouth and when they get older the problems get bigger. But they are sweet. Till they poop in their pants.." Alex laughed but Izzie didn´t. As soon as he noticed it he continued, "But our kids won´t be like that because they will have a great mother, who will teach them the difference between right and wrong." and went to the bathroom. Izzie smiled but then she remembered that she probably won´t be alive when their baby will be born. So she stood up and went to her boyfriend into the bathroom.

"And when our hypothetical baby will be born then you will take care of it and you will also learn him the difference between right and wrong, right?" she asked and Alex looked at her.

"I totally would." he answered and kissed her on the forehead. "Want to do it in the shower? Nothing says good morning like a hot quickie." he smirked. Izzie shook her head and left the bathroom and so Alex showered alone.

After he finished he got dressed in sweatpants and tank top and opened the door. But as soon as he stepped on the corridor he ran back to his room.

"What´s wrong?" Izzie asked when she saw Alex making a face.

"It smells like someone died.." he admitted and Izzie went to the door.

"No don´t do that.." Alex said but Izzie opened the door and one second later she closed it again.

"Oh my god...that smells like sulfur." she said and both leaned against the door.

"I´m going down to check out who´s dying and you stay here. If I don´t come back...I love you" Alex joked and kissed Izzie who also laughed. A few moments later he returned and told her that Meredith was cooking for Lexie and that´s why it smelled.

"No. That´s not cooking. Cooking doesn´t smell like that." she explained but Alex told her again that Meredith was cooking.

"Breakfast is ready!" Meredith screamed from the kitchen and Izzie looked shocked.

"She cooked?!"

"I told you!"

They went down to the kitchen and Alex knocked at the room Lexie was sleeping to wake her up.

"Lexie! Wake up Meredith made breakfast!" he meant and went downstairs.

"She did what?" Lexie thought loud and stood up. When she entered the kitchen everyone was sitting by the table and starring at something that should be food.

"Good morning Lexie!" Meredith welcomed her and put a plate with this something and a glass orange juice in front of her.

"Good morning!" she meant and sat down, starring at the plate.

"Meredith made scrambled eggs for you.." Derek said and smiled.

"Eggs...?" she asked and Meredith looked confused.

"You don´t like eggs right?" she asked disappointed.

"No, no,..I love eggs...eggs are great..." Lexie lied and put up the fork. Mer smiled and turned around to make the dishes. Alex and Izzie looked at each other and then to Derek who tried the eggs with hopeful eyes. But as soon as he chew his face expression went from happy to awkward. Izzie, Alex and Lexie watched him how he nearly threw up but then finally gulped it. Lexie starred at the eggs and then at Meredith and decided to eat them because she didn´t want to hurt her feelings. Alex stood up, took Izzie´s and his plate and carried it to the sink.

"You didn´t eat one bite.." Meredith meant and Alex looked at the clock.

"We´re late.." he said quickly and he and Izzie left the room.

Lexie and Derek looked at each other with tortured eyes and ate everything that was on their plate just to make Meredith happy.

* * *

Later in the hospital Lexie felt the consequence of the eggs. She went to doctor Bailey, who checked some scans and asked for epinephrine. Bailey told her where it was and Lexie searched for it but couldn´t find it.

"Hey.." Mark said and Lexie looked up.

"Hi." she said quickly but didn´t turn around so he couldn´t see her face.

"I wanted to talk to you about yesterday..I...I didn´t..." he started but was distracted by her searching for something in the nurses car. "What are you doing?"

"I´m searching for epinephrine." she answered still not showing her face.

"Why would you search for epinep- ahh!" Mark screamed when she finally turned around and he saw the rash on her face. "What happened to you?!"

"I´m an adult child of an alcoholic that´s what happened to me. I have boundary issues. So when Meredith made me eggs this morning I could not not eat them. I had to pretend that I wasn´t allergic to eggs and now I have a rash covering my entire body!" she admitted and scratched her shoulder. Mark nodded.

"There is no epinephrine!" he said and grabbed her arm. "Come with me!" he continued and pulled her into the storage room.

"Sit down." he said and pushed a plastic box in her direction and she sat down. Then he took a sterile needle and shot, pulled up some epinephrine and injected it to Lexie.

"Ow...thank you.." she said and Mark smiled.

"You´re welcome. So you are allergic to eggs. I never knew that. I almost made you a sandwich with eggs"

"Yeah I don´t really want to boast about my special effects." she smiled and Mark laughed. For a few seconds it was silent.

"I missed you last night." he said and looked down at his shoes.

"I missed you too.." Lexie replied and Mark looked her in the eyes.

"I don´t want to propose, I never wanted. I mean someday yes sure, but yesterday I wanted to give you these." he explained and gave her the tiny black box. Lexie opened it and saw three keys.

"I thought you are living there for two weeks now and everytime you have to knock at the door. I love you and I want to live with you so one for the main entrance, one for the cellar and one...one for the door to my apartment. Our apartment."


	11. 11

"What´s the matter?" Arizona Robbins asked loud as the paramedics entered the emergency room.

"Ten year old girl, multiple bone fractures and fluid in her abdomen, she broke down on the street and a car drove her down!" one of the two answered and Arizona took the chart.

"Okay trauma 1 and someone should page ortho please!" she decided and went with the patient into the trauma room. She examined her and on the ultra sound she could see that the girl had an internal bleeding. Suddenly the little girl opened her eyes and shouted for her mother.

"Shhh...stay calm..everything´s fine you´re in Seattle Grace hospital. My name is doctor Robbins. You´re save! We got a huge team which will take care about you. What´s your name sweetie?"Arizona meant. The girl had big, frightened eyes and her blood pressure was too high for sure. But something in Arizona´s voice calmed her and her blood pressure down and she started talking.

"I´m Abby. Abby Manson. I wan´t my mother. Where is she?" she started crying.

"Tell me her name and then we will call her. Do you know her phone number?" a nurse replied and Abby told her what she wanted to know.

"Someone paged ortho?" Callie meant and stepped into the room.

"Yeah I did! Ten year old girl. Her arm, and her leg look really bad you should check them first." Arizona smiled and looked to Callie who started smiling too. Then she examined the girl.

Then out of sudden the girl had a cramp and her blood pressure went really high.

"What happened?" Callie asked nervous and Arizona checked the pupil.

"She has fixed pupil. Give her anti hypertensive drugs and call the radiology we need a CT!" Arizona yelled through the room and they immediately ran to the elevator.

* * *

"Okay this could be cold." Lexie forewarned and put the gel on Izzie´s stomach.

"I know I´m a surgeon.." Izzie meant and both started laughing. Then Lexie started the ultra sound and the doctors looked at it.

"Okay everything looks great. Have you told Alex yet?" she asked and Izzie stared at the picture. Then she shook her head and told her that she didn´t know how she should tell him.

"Well, I don´t know anything about your relationship, but I would do something romantic. You´re a really good baker maybe you can bake a cake that tells him that he gets a baby boy..." Lexie suggested.

"I´m dying. When I tell him that I´m pregnant I have to tell him that I´m dying." Izzie meant sad.

"But I thought you will fight?"

"I can´t fight against the cancer when I´m pregnant. It would kill the fetus!" Izzie meant madly and Lexie looked down at her shoes.

"Listen, I know it´s hard to imagine but I believe that you will survive this okay? It´s been 5 months since you got pregnant and when you wait till the baby is survivable and then get a C-section. And then you can start to fight.." Lexie thought and Izzie looked at her. Then she nodded and took a paper towel to clean her stomach and straightened her clothes. Meanwhile Lexie copied the pictures and gave it to her.

"Thanks!" Izzie said and left the room. In the moment she opened the door Mark stepped in and both screamed a little bit because they startled.

"Doctor Sloan." Izzie said quickly and left. Mark raised an eyebrow and watched her hiding something under her shirt.

"Hey Lex. Could you find out what Stevens wanted from you?" Mark asked and came closer. Lexie nodded and cleaned the room.

"And do you want me to tell what it was?" he smirked and came one step closer again. She shook her head and suddenly she could feel his hands on her waist. She started chuckling. Then he kissed her neck and she closed her eyes. She could smell his after shave when he softly pull down her scrub shirt and her shoulder got naked.

"Wanna check if there´s an empty on-call room?" he asked between the kisses on her shoulder.

"I would love to.." Lexie replied and turned around. Mark smiled and wanted to go already when she finished her sentence, "But I need to work..". He rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed. Lexie looked at him with her deep brown, huge eyes and put her hand on his shoulder. Then she sat down on his thigh and started kissing him. But he stopped her asking why she did this to him when she had to `work´.

"Why should we waste time by searching for an empty on-call room when this room is empty?" she asked flirty and closed the jalousie. Meanwhile Mark laid down on his back and put of his clothes.

"Can we do it in 10 minutes? I really need to start work. Izzie doesn´t need the interns anymore and I need to get the good jobs from Christina." Lexie asked and put off shirt and pants.

"I can do it how fast you want!" Mark said and Lexie climbed into bed and they started kissing.

* * *

"Where am I?" Abby asked when she looked around.

"You´re in the CT-machine. Everything´s fine. We want to check if everything´s fine with you." Arizona answered with the mic and Callie and she looked at the monitor and waited for the pictures.

"Has someone called my mum already?" the girl asked.

"I´m going to ask for you okay?" Arizona meant and asked Callie if it was okay if she left for a minute. She nodded and Arizona went to the nurse´s desk.

"Has someone called the number Abby Manson gave us?" she asked a nurse.

"Yeah I called but the number belongs to nobody. So I called the youth welfare service and they told me that she is an orphan and her foster family already called them that she ran away." a nurse answered and Arizona looked shocked. She thought about it and why the girl would run away. Then she ordered the nurse to call the foster family and she wanted to went back to the radiology when Callie came out and ran to her.

"She got a huge aneurysm and it is perforated. We should scrub in. She needs an emergency surgery. Her spleen is in a really bad condition and maybe there is something worse. Someone should page Shepherd." Callie meant and drove with the patient to a patient room in peds and an intern prepared her for the surgery.

* * *

Arizona and Callie scrubbed in and started the operation. They opened her abdomen and suddenly a huge amount of blood came out of the tiny body. Her blood pressure dropped and her sinus rhythm got irregular.

"What! Where does this blood come from?!" Arizona yelled and put her hands inside to search for a hole. Her hand went to the place the spleen should be but she couldn´t find it.

"Where? Where is the spleen?" Arizona mumbled.

"Excuse me?! You can´t find the spleen?!" Callie shouted and the whole scrub team looked at them.

"No there isn´t anything. There is just the artery and blood. A lot of blood. Clip, please!" she answered and hold out her hand. The o.r. nurse gave her what she wanted and she pinched off the artery. But the blood pressure was still too low.

"Oh my god! " Callie said and looked into the body. "The liver..it is like there would be two. Look!" Arizona looked at the organ and saw that the liver was torn in two parts.

"Umm..okay, first of all we need some blood preservation and then we need to repair the damaged organs!" Arizona meant and started with the limitation of defect.

* * *

"Derek.." Meredith meant and came closer to her fiancé. "Could you please sign this? I need an attending to do it!"He nodded and did it. Then he concentrated on his chart.

"Have you talked with Mark already?" Meredith asked but he didn´t answer. "Okay that does mean no..". Meredith wanted to tell him to do it and already opened her mouth but suddenly Derek´s pager went off.

"I need to go!" He meant and left the disappointed Meredith behind.

"You paged me?" He asked when he entered the o.r. and saw that Callie and Arizona fought for their patient´s life.

"Yeah..um..she got a brain aneurysm...the pictures are over there...but you can´t operate now she isn´t stable enough." Callie replied and tried to fix the liver. Derek went to an assistant and looked at the pictures. He nodded and said that this couldn´t wait long and that they had to fix her really fast.

"We know that Shepherd!" Callie answered stressed and he left.

Although the worse defects in Abby´s body were repaired her heart didn´t beat regularly.

"She got a damage on her spine. And her heart could cause problems if it won´t begin to beat regularly...And she´s narcotized for too long." Arizona worried and looked at Callie.

"So..what should we do next?" she asked and replied the worried look.

"We have to do a temporarily bandage and get her on the ICU and if she survives the next 24 hours we will operate tomorrow." Arizona answered and so it happened.

* * *

Later Arizona was writing into her chart and Callie came to her.

"See, I thought about that little girl and her injuries and maybe you and I should meet tonight and find out how we should do this tomorrow...so maybe you want to come to my place at 8 p.m.?" she suggested. Arizona started smiling and told her that she would come at 9 because she wanted to wait for the girl´s foster family.

* * *

Callie knocked at Mark´s door and after a while Lexie opened it.

"Hey is Mark over there?" she asked and looked behind Lexie.

"Er..yeah he´s in the shower...but.." Lexie answered but Callie already went into the apartment and entered the bathroom.

"Hey..I need your help!" she said and Mark opened his eyes.

"Callie! Sure what can I do for you?" He said and looked at her with worried eyes.

"Well...uhm..tonight comes a person I really like...and...uhm...I want to impress the person...Should I wear a special make-up or natural? And my hair? Open or to a bun? Or ponytail?" Callie asked.

"A person..aha..well I love the natural side of you but if you think it´s getting hot then try a little bit more..and your hair should be open..could you give me the shampoo please?" Mark replied and Callie gave it to him telling that she didn´t know what to wear. Lexie looked through the open bathroom door and couldn´t say anything. Her sexy boyfriend was naked and his hot female friend was standing there talking about short dresses and make-up.

"Okay fine I will pick out some hot pieces and you will make the final decision!" she meant and left the apartment. Lucky for her she lived on the other side of the floor and so she was back in Mark´s and Lexie´s apartment after ten minutes. Meanwhile Mark has dried his body and wrapped a towel around his waist.

"Lex.." he meant kissing her forehead when he entered the living room where she was sitting on the couch and staring awkwardly on the front door.

"Callie told me something really interesting...she has a date tonight...she really likes-"Mark wanted to say but Lexie interupted him.

"Finally she told you...I couldn´t hold it in for any longer I´m really bad at keeping secrets. This Arizona Robbins seems really nice!" Lexie explained and Mark´s eyes started changing from excited to weird.

"Arizona Robbins? The new head of pediatrics? The new FEMALE head of pediatrics? Why are you thinking Callie would be gay?" Mark asked confused.

"Wait what? She didn´t..? I caught them in the library and she meant she would tell you. I thought...Oh my god!" Lexie admitted. Mark looked confused at Lexie and then Callie opened the door just in bra and panties and hold up two dresses.

"Torres..!" Mark said happily "Arizona sounds like she would be really hot!" Callie looked confused until she understood what he meant. Then she switched to Lexie who bit on her lip nervously and her eyes got mad...really mad.

"You told him? I thought you could keep a secret?! What kind of doctor are you when you can´t keep a secret!" Callie yelled and Lexie opened her mouth to say something but knew that it was wrong to tell Mark so she closed it again.

"Stop yelling at my girlfriend! She thought I knew already..it´s not her fault! And hey that´s no problem..You know I love lesbians!" Mark meant and winked. Lexie had to smile because he defended her. Callie calmed down an then told him everything about her crush and her wonderful blond hair and that her eyes were blue like the sea.

"Then you should wear this one! It shows boobs but not too much to think you´re slutty and it is really hot..I mean really really hot. When I saw you the first time in this dress I swear I couldn´t think about something different than pulling it off of you and-" Mark explained when Lexie cleared her throat. He understood that this meant that he should stop and so he did.

"Okay thank you!" Callie, who was still in underwear, meant and hugged him. Then Mark went to the bedroom to get dressed and Callie wanted to leave the appartment.

"How gay are you?" Lexie suddenly asked and Callie turned around. "I mean this is my boyfriend. My hot naked boyfriend and you´re hot too and even if you´re gay he´s not...and you´re hot.. and he...he´s a man and he´s a womanizer and you two were sex friends or something..he told me...and I...So how gay are you? On a scale from 1 to...gay?" Lexie stuttered and stood up to seem more confident. Callie started laughing for two seconds and came a bit closer.

"He used to look at my boobs. He always did. The first thing he did when he saw me was checking out my boobs. He doesn´t do it any longer, not since he met you. He really loves you!" Callie answered and left a smiling Lexie behind.

"Should we order something to eat or do you want to go somewhere?" Mark asked from the bedroom but Lexie didn´t answer. All she was thinking about was what Callie said and that Mark could be THE ONE.

"Lex?" He asked and stepped into the living room.

"I love you!" Lexie meant and ran to him. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Whoa okay..I love you too...So what are you saying? Burger or Pizza?" he asked as they stopped kissing.

"Mmm..Burger!" Lexie replied and Mark grabbed his phone to call the service.

* * *

Arizona waited beside Abby´s bed and hold her little hand. It was already quarter past eight and she also needed to get dressed. A nurse came in to check the patient´s vitals.

"Is the family here?" Arizona asked worried but the nurse shook her head. Arizona sighed.

"Doctor Robbins?!" doctor Webber asked surprised when he walked by. "Your shift ended over two hours ago..Why are you still here?"

"I don´t want to leave this girl alone. Her foster parents didn´t show up here for the last 7 hours and she is completely alone.." Arizona replied and looked at her watch again.

"But a nurse can also hold her hand.." Webber meant and Arizona told him that it was fine and she would stay here till the family would come eventually.

"You know what? I´m going to do it! I´m going to replace you. I don´t have any patients that couldn´t wait till tomorrow." Webber explained and sat down on the other side and took Abby´s hand.

"Thanks!" Arizona whispered and went to the attending´s dressing room to fresh her make-up up and put on some sexier clothes than her scrubs.

20 minutes later Arizona stood in front of Callie´s door. She checked her lipgloss with the in front camera of her cell phone and then knocked at the door. Only seconds later Callie opened it and welcomed her. Arizona forgot to breathe for a second because Callie was so stunning. She had a short black dress and pumps and her hair was wavy. Arizona thought about her outfit which was a skinny jeans and a black top with a deep cutout on her chest.

"You look beautiful!" Arizona meant and Callie smiled. Then they went to the couch and sat down.

"Okay Abby Manson´s chart is here and her CT-scans are there and in the kitchen behind me is a wonderful plate full with tiny sandwiches." Callie explained and pointed on the different things.

"Sandwiches?" Arizona wanted to ask nicely but it sounded like she would throw up any minute.

"You don´t like sandwiches?" Callie asked worried and as Arizona shook her head her face expression went from worried to amused. "I don´t like sandwiches either. Oh my god then we can order some pizza or something like that right?" she laughed and Arizona also started laughing.

After an hour they ate the whole pizza and finished their discussion about the patient.

"Okay so lets talk about something else than this girl. Since when are you an `active member´ in the vagina-club?" Callie asked and Arizona started to think about it.

"Since always yeah,..I never ever had something with a guy. And you?" she replied.

"Well,...um...to be honest you are my...first experience..and I have to admit..I really like it" Callie smiled but Arizona stopped.

"You´re a newbie..?" she asked awkwardly and Callie worried about her undertone. Then Arizona looked at her watch and saw that it was already 1 am.

"Oh I think I have to go!" she meant quickly and stood up. While she went to the door and put on her jacket Callie´s eyes followed her.

"Then..um..bye." Arizona meant and opened the door.

"Wait!" Callie ordered loud. "Please! Did I say something wrong?" Arizona bit on her lip and turned around.

"Oh..okay..it´s because I don´t have any experience, isn´t it?" Callie asked and got mad.

"Look, I´m looking forward to have a relationship and I would really like to have one with you. But you were always on the penis-club and then decided that you want to try out a vagina. So perhaps you understand why I´m afraid that you change your mind again." Arizona explained and Callie started smiling and came a bit closer to hold her hands.

"It´s true I like penises. But this vagina thing gives me a feeling that I´ve never felt before. And I can´t say if I truly love this feeling when I haven´t tried everything. I need someone to show me what to do because I don´t know it." Callie replied and looked in Arizona´s eyes.

"So I think it´s up to me to show you what to do.." she smirked and kissed her. And then they entered Callie´s bedroom while their kiss got even more passionate. Callie laid down on her back and Arizona put off her clothes until she stood there only in her underwear. Callie´s eyes looked down at Arizona´s beautiful body and she had to close her mouth. Then she put off her dress and Arizona smiled and laid down on her. They kissed again and Arizona´s lips went down to Callie´s neck and shoulders, then to her breasts where Arizona spent more time and unplugged her bra. Callie moaned and Arizona got a little bit deeper under the blanket. She put off Callie´s panties and let the fun begin.


	12. 12

It was six am when Arizona woke up and noticed that the bed she was lying in wasn´t hers. Then she remembered everything what happened last night and started smiling. But as soon as she noticed that she was alone in this big bed she stopped.

"Callie?" she called but nobody answered. So she put on her shirt and panties and went to the kitchen _,_ but since it was empty as well she looked through the opened bathroom door which was empty too. Then she opened the front door and heard Callie´s voice from the apartment on the opposite side. She went there and saw the half opened door where she looked through. She could see Callie sitting by the table talking to a man Arizona felt like she saw before.

"Knock, knock." she meant and opened the door.

"Good morning!" Callie replied and stood up to kiss her love. Mark smiled dirty when he saw it. Then Lexie entered the living room yawning and rubbing her eyes and just dressed in her underwear. But she screamed when she opened her eyes and saw the guest and interrupted Callie´s and Arizona´s kiss and with it Mark´s fantasies.

"Oh my...god!" Lexie screamed and tried to cover her body with her hands.

"This day only keeps getting better.." Mark murmured quietly.

"Lexie? Lexie Grey? You don´t remember me, do you? Arizona Robbins!" Arizona smiled and hold out her hand but immediately took it away when she noticed that Lexie couldn´t shake it because her hands cover her half naked body.

"I remember very well...I..got a photographic memory.." Lexie meant and stepped backwards the bedroom to get dressed. Mark turned around and raised an eyebrow because he didn´t know Lexie had a photographic memory but didn´t want to admit it in front of Callie.

"Oh now I understand why you seem so familiar to me..You´re Mark Sloan right? The head of plastics?" Arizona meant and hold out her hand. Mark shook it and replied that this was correct.

"Great so everybody knows each other.." Callie meant and looked from Mark to Arizona and then to Lexie who was still ashamed and bit on her lip nervously. "So we can go and get a shower right?" she giggled and came closer to Arizona.

"Well I think we should because we need to get to our patient.." Arizona replied and they left the apartment giggling.

"Photographic memory huh?" mark meant as he closed the door and looked to Lexie who was happy not to have to cover her body anymore. "Why didn´t you tell me that?" Mark asked a little bit upset.

"Well, I never thought it would be necessary.." Lexie replied and went to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.

"Not necessary?! Lexie we have a relationship! And you don´t hide things from each other in a relationship!" Mark explained louder and with an angry voice. Lexie looked at him and wondered why he was getting mad.

"Sorry Mark..I never wanted to hurt you...I´m...really sorry." Lexie answered calm and drank her coffee.

"So you have a photographic memory.."Mark said friendly again. "Periodic table. Go!" And Lexie started smiling and started, "Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon, sodium, magnesium, aluminium, silicon, phosphorus, sulphur – I can keep going!" she laughed and Mark shook his head.

"You´re a Lexipedia." he meant and kissed her. "I´m going to jump into the shower..wanna come with me? Saves water." he smirked.

"But only because I care about the environment!" Lexie smirked and they closed the bathroom door behind them.

* * *

"Okay guy so what´s the plan?" Derek asked when he entered the scan room and saw Callie and Arizona discussing something.

"Okay we planned that we will go in and repair the damaged organs. When she´s stable enough we will page you to clip the aneurysm." Callie explained and looked at Arizona. "Did the family come?" Arizona didn´t know and went to the nurse´s desk to ask for them.

"Okay. If there are some complications that could cause a rupture of the aneurysm page me. The girl won´t survive if we wait longer!" Derek meant and left. Callie also left and went to Arizona who held her face in her hands.

"What´s the matter?" Callie asked and put the scans of Abby Manson back into the envelope.

"The foster family didn´t show up. They didn´t even call back! What kind of people are they who think that they don´t need to come when their foster daughter lays in the hospital?!" Arizona meant angrily and Callie put her hand on her back to calm her down.

"Okay I´ll send an intern to prepare her for the surgery and then we will scrub in and we will save this girl´s life and then find a better family for her okay? I promise!" Callie said and Arizona started smiling again. Then they did what Callie said and a half hour later they already opened the abdomen.

* * *

Mark and Lexie entered the hospital, gave each other a goodbye kiss and went into different directions to their changing room. Mark entered it with his coffee in his hand and a huge smile on his mouth when he saw Derek brushing his teeth. Mark looked at Derek who looked back through the mirror. For one second it was completely silent. Then Mark moved forward to his locker and put his bag into it while Derek rinsed his mouth with water. Mark already put off his shirt when Derek was about to leave the room.

"Derek-" Mark meant but he already shut the door.

* * *

"Okay...Bailey wants me to check her post op patients. You?" Alex said when he looked at his pager and then turned to Izzie.

"Umm..Clinic...it´s always the clinic" Izzie replied and kissed her boyfriend. Alex replied the kiss but stopped when Cristina who stood behind him cleared her throat.

"We´ll meet for lunch!" Alex meant and left the changing room.

"Er...yes..I have to tell you something.." Izzie whispered when he left the room.

"You haven´t told him yet?!" Cristina asked loud.

"I don´t know why it would bother you." Izzie answered annoyed.

"Why it...uh...I found out that you´re pregnant...of course it bothers me.." Cristina stuttered.

"You didn´t even thought about to find out which disease I have!" Izzie yelled with tears in her eyes and came one step closer. Cristina stepped back because she was afraid of her.

"You were fine the test results were fine you were healthy." she explained.

"No I wasn´t..I am not fine! I have stage IV melanoma with metastases in my brain. I´m not healthy!" Izzie explained crying and sat down. Christina swallowed and thought about the informationsitting down next to her. She slowly laid her hand on Izzie´s shoulder but she stood up and ran out of the door. Then she turned around and came back to Cristina.

"Don´t tell anyone!" she meant and ran away crying. Cristina put her face in her hands and started to think about the whole situation.

"Hey.." Meredith meant and sat down next to her. "Derek doesn´t listen to me. I try to tell him that I´m okay with the Lexie-Mark situation he ignores me. I try to tell him that he should talk to him, he runs away. Everytime when I try to-"

"Could you please stop talking!" Cristina interrupted her.

"Oh..um..I´m..sorry? What´s the matter?" Meredith asked confused.

"Nothing!" Cristina meant and left Meredith.

* * *

Alex examined the wound on a patient´s abdomen to be sure that everything´s fine.

"Okay Mrs. Miller everything looks great I´m just going to change the bandage. I´ll be back in a few minutes." Alex explained and left the room. With his key-card he opened the storage room and searched for the things he needed. Suddenly Cristina came in.

"You know you have to close the door. Otherwise theses key cards would be completely unnecessary." she meant, closed it and also looked for some supplies.

"Why do we have these dumb cards again?" Alex asked concentrating on his search.

"Because the drug addict YOU examined ran away and stole a lot of pills and needles and stuff and was found by a mother and her child dead only a few blocks away from here." Cristina explained with a sarcastic undertone.

"Right, I remember." Alex answered and took something out of the box and then went to another shelve.

* * *

"Okay we almost repaired everything. Someone can page Shepherd. We´ll be ready in twenty minutes." Callie explained and Arizona started smiling.

"You´ve heard that?" she meant and leaned over to Abby´s face. "You did it! You won! You are a winner-" but suddenly her blood pressure went down.

"Ventricular fibrillation!" Callie yelled and Arizona froze for a minute. "Paddles!" Callie ordered and laid them on Abby´s chest.

"200! Arizona go away!" she yelled but Arizona didn´t move. "Arizona! Could someone please pull doctor Robbins away?!" Callie yelled through the o.r. and a nurse did it.

"Okay..CLEAR!"

"It didn´t work!" Arizona meant crying and looked to the monitor.

"Again! 300!...CLEAR!" Callie shouted and shocked the patient. But again it didn´t work.

"I´m doing a cardiac massage." Arizona meant and did it.

"Okay we´ll try it again. Paddles!" Callie shouted and reached out her hands.

* * *

Derek´s pager went off and when he looked down on it he noticed it came from . Then he went to the elevator and pressed the button up.

"Damn it! Why does it take so long?" he thought loud and pressed the button a few more times. A few seconds later the doors opened and Derek looked into the elevator where he saw Mark. He thought about to take the stairs but this would take too long so he stepped in and pressed the button to the floor he wanted to go. An awkward silence ruled the mood in the elevator. Mark opened his mouth to say something when suddenly the elevator stopped and the lights went off.

"Fuck what happened?" Derek asked and switched on the flashlight on his cell phone.

"I think it´s a power break down." Mark meant and also turned on his flashlight.

"No, no, no, no, this can´t be real!" Derek cried and pressed the emergency button which also didn´t work.

"No connection." Mark determined when he moved his phone up and down around the elevator cabin.

* * *

"I got everything!" Alex meant and went to the door of the supply room when suddenly the lights went off. Both looked around and wondered what happened.

"Oh no...it´s a power breakdown." Cristina determined and leaned against the shelves.

"No maybe they just switched off the lights in here." Alex hoped and put his key card on the lock but the door didn´t open.

"You´re a moron! It needs power to open the door." Cristina explained.

"See? that´s why I left the door open!" Alex replied angrily.

"Calm down! The emergency backup generator will turn on in a few seconds." Cristina meant and closed her eyes. Both waited for it but nothing happened.

"Damn it!" Alex meant and threw his supplies on the floor and bumped against the door and shouted for help.

"Nobody will hear you! There are only a few patients on this floor and the nurses and other doctors won´t go around and look at the posters on the wall – they will be with their patients and try to control the medicine supply." Cristina meant and sat down on the floor.

"So what do you want to do now? Sitting here and waiting for someone to find us?" Alex asked mad.

"Um..yeah!" Cristina meant and closed her eyes to relax.

* * *

"Okay. We´ll try it again. Paddles!" Callie shouted and reached out her hands. A nurse gave it to her and put it on 300.

"CLEAR!" Callie shouted and put the paddles on the girl´s chest when suddenly the power broke down.

"No, no, no, no! This can´t be right now!" Arizona screamed and did a cardiac massage again. "You can´t die sweetie! You´re a winner don´t forget that!"

"The emergency power generator has to turn on in a few seconds!" Callie meant and put an Ambu bag on the lens tube to ventilate her.

"Why is this fucking generator not working yet?" Arizona yelled through the room.

"You!" Callie meant and pointed on a nurse. "Go and find the chief and tell him that we need power!" The nurse nodded and ran out of the room.

"Doctor Webber!" the nurse screamed through the hallway.

"Candice if it´s about the power breakdown – the men try to fix it but our emergency power generator is broken." Richard replied

"Broken?! Doctor Torres and doctor Robbins are operating right now and the girl has ventricular fibrillation! Doctor Robbins is doing a cardiac massage but they need the defibrillator!" nurse Candice explained out of breath. Richard bit on his lip nervously and decided that he´ll go down to the men and help them and that Candice should go back to the o.r. and help the doctors.

* * *

"Stop bumping against the door it won´t help getting us out. At least you will damage it and it will take longer to save us!" Mark explained and Derek stopped and sat down leaning against the door.

"Listen, I never wanted to break my promise-"

"I don´t want to hear that!"

"Well, you have to because we´re sitting in this elevator for at least thirty minutes I guess." Mark meant but Derek didn´t respond.

"She came to my apartment, pulled off her clothes and ordered me to teach her-"

"I really don´t want to hear that!" Derek begged.

"I slept with her, yes. I broke the promise I gave you, also yes. But when she was about to sleep in her car and I took her to my place I really didn´t think about sex...we really love each other and we really care for each other-"

"Stop Mark!"

"Why do you think that only you and Mer deserve to be happy?! Why don´t you think about other people once in your life? Why don´t you think that I changed and love this girl?!"

"I don´t want to know how you feel about her and what you did and didn´t. It´s just...I thought you were my best friend and you could keep a promise but you couldn´t. And that´s what really hurts me." Derek explained.

"I´m sorry. I didn´t know that it hurts you that much.."

"It´s like the last time in highschool..." Derek reminded his friend.

"Oh yeah I remember...how was her name? Addison right?" Mark remembered.

"Yeah Addison Montgomery. I told you that I fell in love with her and wanted to ask her out for prom.."

"But then she went with me..Yeah that was a great night."

"I hated you!" Derek laughed and Mark did too.

"You can be happy she didn´t go with you...she was a really bad kisser.." Mark admitted.

"Stop it that´s not funny" Derek laughed and boxed him in his rips.

"Ow..Then why are you laughing?" Mark replied smiling and rubbed it.

"Well, I think I was kind of a jerk letting you feel like you don´t deserve to be happy..." Derek admitted.

"Yeah you were.." Mark smirked and Derek punched him again. "Ow!" Mark meant and both started laughing again.

* * *

"They should have found us already!" Alex worried.

"Calm down. Have you tried to text someone?" Cristina asked playing with her hair.

"My phone isn´t charged."Alex noticed when he looked at his phone.

"Relax or sleep a bit – You have to be tired you are working for at least 24 hours." Cristina meant by closing her eyes. Suddenly she heard Alex crying.

"Seriously? Are you crying? I thought you´re a man?!" Cristina asked sarcastically.

"I am a man! It´s just... I don´t know I think I have to let some stuff go.." Alex replied and Cristina rolled his eyes.

"Fine tell me everything you want to say!"

"I..I..I don´t know what´s wrong..Izzie is behaving strange she´s talking to herself and she´s pretending that she´s sick but she isn´t. It´s just the progress of grief.." Alex explained and Cristina suddenly concentrated on his words.

"It´s not just the progress of grief..." she admitted.

"What?" Alex wiped away some tears. "You know something! Tell me! Tell me now!" he yelled.

"Keep calm! I will tell you if you promise me not to tell Izzie!" Cristina warned.

"I promise!" Alex swore and looked her deeply in the eyes.

"Izzie is pregnant.." she started and Alex´eyes opened wide. "But that´s not all." she continued "She´s sick. Really sick. She has stage IV metastatic melanoma which spreads to her brain that´s why she had these Denny-illusions. She is anything but fine!" Alex couldn´t believe what Cristina told him.

"No...no...you´re lying! You´re a liar!" Alex pretended

"I wish I would but I´m not. I don´t know more than that. But you should ask Lexie.. I think she is a good friend of Izzie." Cristina admitted and Alex leaned against the wall crying.

* * *

"Arizona.." Callie meant sad and looked at her girlfriend who was still trying to save this girls life.

"No! I won´t give up!" Arizona cried and massaged Abby´s heart.

"Okay then let me doing it! You´re doing it for 20 minutes now. Your arms are getting weak." Callie suggested and stepped in for Arizona.

"Doctor Webber meant that it wouldn´t take so long...I don´t know what´s wrong.." nurse Candice repeated.

* * *

"Mister I believe you´re a good surgeon but please let us do our job!" one of the worker meant and pushed doctor Webber aside.

"Yeah I am! And I have really calm hands so let me help!" he told him.

"We have enough hands helping us!" another worker explained.

"Listen, there are two surgeons who are cardiac massaging a ten year old girl for more than 20 minutes. This takes too long!" Webber replied and the workers looked at each other.

"Okay come here!" one answered and Richard did what they told him to do. 10 minutes later they fixed it and the power went back.

* * *

"Alex! Alex! Listen to me! It´s okay to be scared but you don´t need to! Izzie will fight I´m sure! She will-" Cristina explained when suddenly the light went on. "Look Alex! The power is back again!" Cristina stood up and unlocked the door with her key card.

"Come on Alex get up! We have patients!" she meant and pulled him up by his sleeve.

* * *

"Oh you remember Clara Wild? The blond one from biology?" Mark asked Derek.

"Oh sure yes...she was cheerleader and every guy on the campus wanted her but she never replied to any flirt." Derek remembered.

"She did to mine...Yeah I banged her...twice!" Mark laughed.

"You are a jerk. I don´t know why Lexie loves you!" Derek replied laughing.

"Oh she knows.." Mark smirked when suddenly the lights went on again. As soon as they noticed it Derek and Mark stood up and straightened their clothes. When the door opened the men immediately left the elevator and sighed.

"Finally free.." Derek meant and hugged his best friend.

"Yes mate finally" Mark said and replied the hug.

"When did this happen?" Meredith asked when she saw them hugging for a few seconds.

"Mer!" Derek said when he heard her voice and ran to her and kissed his love.

* * *

Callie repeated the cardiac massage when suddenly the light turned on and the monitors started again. The whole team looked at the monitor and when Callie stopped a non-stop sound appeared.

"Why did you stop? Calliope?! You should save her!" Arizona yelled crying.

"Arizona please look at the monitor she´s dead for thirty minutes now...we can´t save her anymore.." Callie tried to calm her down.

"But I promised her.." Arizona meant huskily.

"I know...I know..Time of death: 10.23 am" Callie meant and put her arms around her.

"Can you please close her?" Callie asked and the o.r. nurse nodded. Then Callie took her girlfriend out of the operating room and they changed their clothes. Then they went to the pediatric station to fill in Abby´s chart.

"You don´t have to do this..I´m going to fill it in." Callie suggested but Arizona shook her head.

"No it´s fine...I was her doctor, I´m filling in the chart. Thank you Calliope!" Arizona answered and hold her hand. Callie smiled and left her. Arizona has just started when a woman tipped on her shoulder.

"Excuse me? Are you doctor Robbins?" the worried woman asked.

"Um...yeah...how can I help you?" Arizona wanted to know covering the grief about her loss.

"My name is Susan Heller. I´m the foster mother of Abby Manson, the nurse over there told me you would be her doctor. Is everything okay with her?" the woman asked and Arizona didn´t move for a second. Every cell in her wanted to punch her fist in this lady´s face but she stayed calm. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath.

"Why are you here? Now? We called you yesterday!" Arizona asked angrily.

"Excuse me? We live 7 hours away...I can´t just be here whenever I want I have a job!" Susan answered.

"Then I wonder how and most of all why your ten year old foster daughter came here by her own!" Arizona meant louder and a few nurses and parents already looked at them. But the lady didn´t answer.

"Nevermind...Abby Manson broke down on the streets and a car drove her down. She came to us yesterday afternoon with multiple bone fractures, inner bleeding and, what we found out when we did a CT, a huge brain aneurysm which caused the cramp she had on the street and here in the hospital. We opened her and saw the huge amount of traumata in her abdomen and her heart was really weak. We, doctor Torres an orthopedic surgeon and I, decided to close her and wait for today and made a plan. Today we opened her again and fixed the injuries. We just paged the neuro surgeon to come and clip her aneurysm when she had ventricular fibrillation. Then out of sudden there was a power breakdown in the whole hospital and we reanimated her by hand for thirty minutes until the power came back. We saw that her heart couldn´t begin to beat again and so we adjudged her..dead at 10.23 am." Arizona explained fighting against the tears. The woman didn´t really seem shocked just unhappy. Then Arizona asked a nurse to fill in the formulas with the foster mum and the ped surgeon left the station and started crying again.

* * *

Cristina left the hospital to get some fresh air when she saw Izzie sitting on a park bank and went there and sat down next to her. She sighed and closed her eyes.

"I told Alex. I told him everything I knew about the pregnancy and the illness."

"Thank you."


	13. 13

**Okay guys so I know that the last few chapters weren´t a lot of slexie scenes and I just wanted you to know that it won´t be a whole slexie fanfiction for a few more chapters. It is because I have a lot of ideas for Mark and Lexie but they need to be a couple for a little bit longer. And for now I planned a lot of izzex, calzona and crowen. Of course I will do slexie but just be prepared not to read only slexie. But stay tuned and wait! You won´t regret it!**

"So again – You and Derek talked, while you were stuck in the elevator. And now everything´s fine?" Lexie asked confused and Mark nodded."Why couldn´t you two talk two weeks ago after your fight?" but Mark replied that it´s not important anymore and that she should stop thinking about it and went to the bedroom.

"I should stop thinking about it?!" Lexie murmured "How should I stop thinking about it? You two fought because of it and you couldn´t operate the last weeks!" she mentioned when she also entered the bedroom.

"But Bailey gave me the okay to operate again today so please could you just stop and come to bed? It was a really stressful day!" Mark begged and put off his shirt and jeans and laid into bed in his boxers.

"Fine!" Lexie accepted mad. "But just to be clear: I won´t have sex with you tonight!"

"Oh come on...You abstain from having sex?" Mark asked sad and Lexie thought about it.

"Fine you won I can´t do that. It´s too good to not have it.." she admitted trying to cover her smile.

"I love you Lex!" Mark said and kissed his girlfriend passionatly who replied the kiss immediately.

* * *

Callie had her arms around Arizona and tried to calm her down.

"It´s okay...the girl´s heart was just too weak...she couldn´t-"

"No we could have saved her life...but we didn´t!" Arizona pretended. Callie bit on her lip. She really wanted to kiss Arizona right now and she really wanted to spend happy time with her but she knew she had to comfort her.

"It´s okay, it´s okay you´re right we could have saved her life...but we weren´t able to..." Callie meant and Arizona laid her head on Callie´s shoulder.

* * *

"I´m home! Cristina? Honey?" Owen shouted through her apartment when he entered it and laid the keys on the table. He smelled that something was burning and saw smoke coming out of the kitchen. He immediately ran into it and opened the oven where it was coming from and took a pan out of it.

"Damn it!" he shouted when he burned his hand by touching it. Owen threw the pan into the sink and poor cold water over his hand.

"Oh god!" Cristina screamed when she came out of the bedroom and saw what happened. "I totally forgot about that chicken.." Owen raised an eyebrow and looked at her with an misunderstanding gaze.

"Why are you trying to cook? You now you can´t cook!" he laughed and earned a mad look from his girlfriend.

"I saw this on TV today and I thought this looks easy and I´ll try it out to congratulate you for the therapy you succeeded." Cristina replied and came closer and saw that Owen was hurt. "Crap! I´m so sorry!" She ran to him and took his hand and blew air on the burned spot.

"It´s okay I´m fine!" He lied and tried to concentrate on something different than the pain.

"Are you sure?" Christina asked and Owen nodded. "Then maybe we´ll order some pizza?" Owen nodded again. Both started smiling but when Cristina turned around to grab the phone Owen stopped and looked at the painful incineration.

* * *

"Have you seen Izzie?" Alex asked Meredith with a husky voice.

"She´s on the toilette. I just came from there. Why?" Meredith wanted to know but didn´t get a reply. Alex just ran straight to the toilette and entered it. A nurse let out a little scream when she saw him on the women´s toilette and ran outside.

"Alex this is the false room!" Izzie giggled but her eyes didn´t look happy at all.

"Why didn´t YOU tell me? Why do I have to hear it from Cristina? Why can´t my girlfriend tell me that we´re getting a baby?" Alex asked angrily with a loud voice that frighted Izzie a bit. She couldn´t answer. She knew anything she would say couldn´t be an apology for him. Tears streamed down her face and she stroke with her hands through her hair.

"It is possible that I die before the baby can be born." she cried. Alex mad eyes turned into worried and guilty and he looked down at his shoe.

"See, I know you are scared. I´m scared too. But together we will fight the cancer and we will be the best parents ever!" he tried to comfort her but it didn´t help.

"Alex! I have a surviving chance from about 5 percent!" Izzie screamed. Alex´eyes filled with tears. He took his girlfriend in his muscular arms and both started crying.

* * *

"I don´t understand what happened.." Meredith admitted and Derek went through the bedroom and prepared his clothes for tomorrow. "You were stuck in the elevator and talked about the `good old times´and now you are best friend again?"

"Yes that´s right!" he meant and laid himself on her and kissed her.

"Stop!" she chuckled. "That´s everything?"

"Yes." he answered and kissed her a second time.

* * *

"Mark?" Lexie whispered and didn´t get any reply. "Mark are you asleep?" she asked again. His head laid on her shoulder and his muscular arms pressed her body against his.  
"Mark!" she asked a third time, this time louder.

"Hm?" he answered with his eyes closed and barely awake.

"I still don´t understand what happened..." she admitted and Mark slowly turned on his back.

"Lexie!" he meant madly and looked at the clock. "It´s three am. Can we please just sleep?" He begged and turned on the other side.

"No because it doesn´t let me sleep! Can you please tell me everything? You couldn´t just talk and now everything´s fine!" she explained in a normal tone again.

"Of course it can be like that Lexie! And now let me fucking sleep!" Mark shouted angrily and Lexie looked surprised. She didn´t know that Mark could get so furious. She didn´t answer and turned around and so they slept back by back. Lexie had to cry. Tears found their way down her cheeks and she tried to cover the fact that she couldn´t breathe through her nose anymore. She laid the rest of the night awake until the alarm went on and she hopped out of bed to get ready soon and leave the apartment for work. She couldn´t stay longer than necessary.

* * *

"Good morning doctor Hunt!" Richard greeted his employee when they met at the nurses station.

"Good morning doctor Webber." he smiled and tried to cover his burned hand.

"I got a coffee for you doctor Hunt." Webber explained and held the hot cup of coffee in front of Owen.

"Oh..um..well, thank you! And why?" he thanked and grabbed the coffee with his burned hand and immediately felt a big wave of pain flowing through his body when he touched the hot cup. He put the cup on the desk as quickly as possible and Webber watched him. But after Owen started smiling again he continued that he and his wife Adele watched a movie last night where a billionaire helped poor people and he decided to do nice things for others like giving them a fresh coffee. Owen thanked again before Webber left to do some chief stuff. After he was out of sight Owen looked at his hand and thought that he would need to let examine it, so he went to an empty examination room and paged Meredith Grey.

"You paged me?" Meredith asked when she entered the room and saw Owen sitting on the bed.

"Yes...um...well, I burned my hand and I cooled it and did everything necessary for this injury but it still hurts very badly. I think there´s something more complicated. Could you please examine my hand?" Owen explained and Mer nodded. She put on some sterile gloves and looked at the hand.

"Why didn´t you ask Cristina to do that?" she asked with a concentrated gaze on the hand.

"Well, haha.." Owen laughed. "It was kind of her fault." Meredith looked confused. "Well, she wanted to cook something because I finished my-...because we wanted to celebrate something and she forgot the chicken in the oven and I wanted to take it out and burned my hand."

"Cristina doesn´t cook." Meredith joked but when she saw Owen´s serious eyes she stopped. "Really?!" And Owen nodded smiling when he suddenly squalled.

"I´m sorry!" Meredith excused. "I think that perhaps your nerve could be damaged.."

"You think that perhaps it could? Doctor Grey you´re a doctor! If I would be a normal patient this would scare me!" Owen explained and Meredith looked down at her shoes.

"Maybe we should do some tests?" she asked uncertain.

"Are you asking your patient what to do?" Owen replied strict.

"No..no of course not! We are going to do some test. I´m getting the mobile ultra sound machine and I will find out what the problem is." she answered and left the room. Outside she leaned against the door and sighed.

"Hey beautiful one!" Derek meant and kissed her on the cheek. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing! Owen teaches me how to talk to patients." Meredith answered quickly and Derek raised an eyebrow.

"Since when are you interested in trauma? Your my future neuro goddess! You were from the very first beginning." Derek smirked.

"Yes but just because I was a much younger intern who fell in love with the head of neurosurgery." Meredith replied smiling.

"You´re still much younger! Oh by the way I wanted to ask you if it´s okay for you when I go to Joe´s bar with Mark tonight?" Derek wanted to know and Meredith stopped smiling.

"I still don´t understand what happened but yeah it´s fine. I´m going to do a ladies night with Izzie."

"There isn´t anything to understand. I love you!" he replied, kissed her again and went down the hallway to search for Mark. Owen opened the door and and Meredith fell back.

"Your patient is waiting!" he said and Meredith stood up quickly.

"Yes! Of course! I´ll be right back!" she answered and ran outside to bring the supplies she needed.

* * *

"Hey Mark! I wanted to ask you something." Derek warned when he came closer to Mark who wrote something in a chart.

"Derek, of course ask whatever you want." he replied not looking at his friend at all.

"Would you like to go to Joe´s with me tonight?" Derek asked and Mark thought about it for two seconds.

"Yes of course!" he replied and gave the chart to a nurse and winked "Thank you." Derek raised an eyebrow.

"What was that?" he asked when they walked down the hallway.

"That? Nothing! I have a girlfriend!" Mark laughed.

"Don´t remind me.." Derek whispered and they went down the hallway talking a little bit about their patients till they split up and followed their own ways.

* * *

"Hello Mrs. Mills!" Mark greeted his patient when he came into the room. "Excited because of the operation today?"

"I couldn´t be more excited. I´m scared.." she admitted.

"You don´t have to be scared! I´m the best plastic surgeon you could get!" Mark explained and smirked. The patient smiled and Mark checked the vitals before he left and Sadie Harris came to him.

"Doctor Sloan?" she asked flirty "I wanted to ask you if I could assist you today at Mrs. Mills operation."

"Um..No!" he answered and was about to leave.

"Excuse me? Why?" she asked again and pulled him back.

"Because this woman needs a surgeon and an assistant that are a good team and can cooperate with each other." he replied mad.

"And you think that we are not a good team?" she asked sarcastically

"No! After the scene you made me on the hallway on your first day...I don´t want to work with you doctor Harris!"

"What?! And if I would like to specialize in plastics?" she wanted to know.

"There are also some other plastic surgeons who can take you under their wings!" he explained, turned around and left.

"But you have to teach your students!" she yelled after him.

"I already taught one!" he smirked and thought about Lexie.

* * *

"Interns!" Cristina shouted and hers came to her. "Okay doctor Webber thinks he has to punish me so we have to work in the clinic today. Be prepared for some hypochondriac people who got a running nose and think it would be brain fluid or people who want to enjoy the drugs for free." she explained annoyed and went to the Denny-Duquette-Clinic and the interns followed her.

"Lexie!" Cristina shouted through the clinic and Lexie said that she´s sorry to the patient she examined and went to her resident.

"Yes doctor Yang?" she asked and was happy because Cristina remembered her name.

"Tell me everything you know about Izzie Steven´s melanoma!" she whispered and Lexie cleared her throat.

"Well, she has stage IV metastatic melanoma which already spread to her brain and if there are tumors the possibility for having tumors on the liver and other organs is really high. Her surviving chance is about five percent. And as you already know she´s pregnant and Alex doesn´t know it yet and she won´t fight!" Lexie replied quietly.

"Alex knows.." hristina murmured.

"What?"

"He knows. Izzie told me about her disease and I told Alex. She will fight now that he knows it." Lexie nodded.

"Okay that´s everything, now go back to work!" Cristina ordered and Lexie did it.

* * *

"Who paged me?" Mark asked madly as he entered the clinic.

"Um..over there I think. A cut or something." Christina answered and pointed on a curtain which covered a patient´s bed.

"You call me because of a cut? What kind of stupid-" Mark asked angrily when he put the curtain aside and saw Lexie. "Oh sorry."

"No, no it´s fine..." she admitted and sew the patient. "I didn´t page you because of the cut. I paged you because I wanted to talk with you. I wanted to ask you what you´re doing tonight, because maybe you want to go out with-"

"Derek? I´m glad you also thought about it" Mark cut her off "I already told him that we are going to Joe´s tonight." Lexie wanted to say something but his pager went on and he left saying that he has to meet a patient.

"...with my father and me..." she continued.

"Deary, that´s your boyfriend?" the gay patient asked "He´s hooot!" he continued and waved with his hand like he would like to cool down.

"Yeah he is...but he should learn to listen.." Lexie answered awkwardly and finished the cut.

"Maybe you should tell him what you really wanted to ask." the patient suggested.

"See, He knows that I had a big fight with my father. I mean..that´s why we became a couple!" Lexie explained sarcastically "And last night my father called me and meant that he got sober and was in a clinic and wouldn´t drink anymore. He told me that he already got the 30 day chip! And I really love my father and it was hard for me, not to have contact with him..So I suggested that we could go out for dinner tonight and he´ll meet my boyfriend...but my boyfriend has other plans." Lexie got really mad.

"Well, I had the same problem once. Tom he meant that golf would be more important than meeting my best friend Jessie. But I went to him and told him that we can only have a relationship if he won´t always think about himself and if he meets my family and friends." the man answered.

"And did it help? Are you two still a couple?" Lexie, who already calmed down, asked.

"God...no! I surprised him while he was making out with his golf partner! But the point is that you have to stand up and fight for your right!" he smiled and Lexie started laughing because she really liked him.

* * *

"Yes it´s definitely your nerve." Meredith saw on the display of the ultra sound. Owen let his head fall back on the wall and sighed. "But you don´t need to be operated. Rest and an o.r. prohibition for the time it is damaged will be enough." she explained when she cleaned the machine and put it away.

"Okay...thank you..And I´m sorry that I was so rough." Owen admitted guilty "I wanted to teach you how to talk with patients."

"It´s okay. I mean I can communicate with patients very well but you are the head of trauma and Cristina´s boyfriend so I was a little bit scared." Meredith smiled and Owen had to smile to.

"So as I said thank you and I will ask the nurse to give me something to reduce my pain and then I´ll look after my patients." Owen meant and left the room. Meredith cleaned it and then also left.

* * *

"Mark!" Lexie said loud as she went towards her boyfriend.

"Lexie good to meet you! I wanted to ask if you would like to assist today at Mrs. Mills operation.

"No! I don´t want to assist you today because I need to get ready for the dinner with my father tonight who – I wanted to tell you 10 minutes ago – Is out of the clinic, sober and wanted to meet me and my boyfriend. But now I hear that my boyfriend rather wants to meet his best friend than his future father-in-law!" Lexie yelled but started to whisper angrily when she noticed everyone´s gaze on them.

"Future father-in-law?" Mark asked but Lexie stayed quiet. "I´m sorry I didn´t know that. You know, I´m not the kind of man fathers love for their daughters and Derek asked me and you wanted us to be friends again for so long an-"

"Arrgh! Forget it! You´re such a...a...arrgh!" Lexie yelled again, turned around and left him. "Son of a bitch!" she whispered to herself hoping nobody heard her.

 **Evening:**

"Hey Iz! Are you home?" Meredith shouted through the house.

"Yes I´m here!" Izzie screamed from the first floor and went down the stairs Alex following her.

"Would you like to have a girls night? Just the two of us! I bought chocolate for melting and fruits and I borrowed some cool DVD´s. Oh and the most important thing...I´ve got wine!" Meredith meant singing when she took everything out of the bag.

"Where´s McDreamy?" Izzie asked smiling because of Mer´s happiness.

"McDreamy is going out with McSteamy!" she smiled and Izzie and Alex noticed that she already drank some of the wine because she was so happy.

"And what should I do during you´re watching romantic movies and cry?" Alex asked bored.

"Leave the house meet some friends go to the bar I don´t know just let us two alone!" Meredith laughed and Alex looked to Izzie and whispered to her if she wants him to go.

"It´s okay..I need something to distract me from all of this." she whispered back and Alex nodded.

"Okay..but don´t drink the wine!" he warned and kissed her before he left the house and went to Joe´s bar. When he arrived there he sat down at the bar and ordered a beer. He looked through the crowd and saw Derek and Mark sitting on the bar only two empty chairs away.

"Two Scotch again please!" Derek ordered and showed two fingers. "What´s the matter with you? You´ve been looking like that the whole time we´re sitting here"

"Nothing.." Mark lied.

"This doesn´t look like nothing."

"Lexie and I had a fight."

"Why?"

"Not important." Mark lied but Derek didn´t want to stop with asking.

"She wanted to introduce me to her father and I said that I already have plans with you and that fathers usually don´t like me." Mark explained and Derek raised his eyebrows. Alex also stopped drinking and looked at the attending.

"You did what?!" Derek asked surprised.

"It´s true. Usually when fathers met me the first time they forbid their daughters to meet me again." Mark remembered.

"Dude, that was really stupid!" Alex meant and the two men turned around and noticed him.

"I´m sorry? Did you just call your attending stupid?" Mark asked seriously.

"Well, you have to admit that telling your girlfriend that you won´t come to meet her father for the first time because you´d rather want to drink scotch with your best friend is stupid." Alex explained and sipped from his beer bottle.

"He´s right!" Derek admitted and Alex smirked. "I won´t be mad at you if you would like to stop here and we will continue another time."

Mark thought about it while switching his gaze between Derek and Alex.

* * *

"I´m glad you called me. I really missed you dad!" Lexie smiled and drank from her didn´t want to drink alcohol in front of him.

"I´m glad you wanted to meet me after everything that has happened." Thatcher admitted and they talked about Lexie´s job while waiting for their meals.

"And what is with this boyfriend you told me? You said he would also be a doctor at your hospital. Max..Mario...something like that." her dad asked. Lexie stopped smiling for a second. She didn´t want to answer this question. But she did.

"Mark...His name is-"

"Good evening! Mark. Doctor Mark Sloan!" Mark said when he reached the table the two were sitting. Lexie didn´t know what to say. She was surprised and happy that he showed up but still kind of mad. He even wore a suit. He reached out his hand to Lexie´s dad.

"I´m sorry are you her teacher?" Thatcher asked confused and shook his hand. Mark and Lexie both blushed.

"No! He´s my..he´s um..He´s Mark." Lexie replied and Thatcher understood.

"Really?! Nice to meet you! Please take a seat." he smiled and Mark sat down. Lexie could see that he was nervous and took his hand. Mark replied it and they were holding their hands till the meals came.


	14. 14

**Okay so this chapter only contains the last night which started in the previous chapter. So it has Mark, Lexie, Izzie, Mer, Alex and Derek in it and no other characters. I hope you like it though because I just wanted to write more about Izzie and her cancer, about Alex and how he´s feeling and of course about how Thatcher feels about Mark. Oh and I put in some drunk Meredith scenes because I think that these scenes are really funny on TV so I tried. Just imagine her like in the show.**

 **And btw thank you so much for the reviews. I´m so glad you like the story Love ya!**

"Lexie told me you´re a doctor. Are you a resident or..." Thatcher asked and ate his vegetables.

"I´m an attending. I´m...um...head of plastic surgery." Mark meant embarrassed and drank from his water.

"Attending?! Since when...?" Lexie´s dad asked suspicious and looked at him with a deep warning gaze. Mark looked at Lexie who was staring at her food and trying to ignore the undertone in her dad´s voice.

"Um...for a few years. I first made my residency in ENT and then in plastics. But I don´t do things like breast implants...I mean I do it yeah..but um...I also do something like nerve reconstructions and that stuff...it´s..um..pretty cool.." Mark stuttered and drank from his glass again. Thatcher watched him getting more and more nervous and that let Mark get even more afraid. Sweat pearls began to cover his forehead. Lexie looked at him with her huge Bambi eyes and tried to apologize by telepathy.

"It´s getting hot right?" he laughed but her dad didn´t "If you could excuse me for a while...I need to go to the restroom." he smiled and stood up and left the table as quickly as he could.

"Dad! You´re making him nervous! Could you please stop asking him these embarrassing questions?!" Lexie whispered to her dad.

"I´m sorry but your boyfriend is way older than you!" he replied quietly. "How old is this man please?"

"41.." Lexie murmured.

"Again please?!"

"41!"

"41?! Lexie this man is nearly the double of your age! Your 24! Kid.." her dad whispered angrily and held his forehead.

"It´s not what you think! I love him and he loves me! We´re happy. I can imagine to live the rest of my life with this man." she described and smiled while thinking about it.

"Well, he won´t be part of it for very long ´cause he´s old! Or because I will kill him because he hurts my little baby!" Thatcher warned.

"Dad!" Lexie replied shocked and looked to Mark who came closer and they immediately stopped talking about it. Mark smiled again and sat down. Thatcher replied it with a kind of fake and angry smile for which he earned a mad look from his daughter.

Mark opened the door to the men restroom and tried to breathe. He splashed some cold water into his face. He took his phone out of his pocket and typed Derek´s number and called him.

"Hello?" he asked when he picked up.

"Derek..good that you´re here I can´t do this anymore! It´s torture! He hates me!" Mark explained stressful.

"He doesn´t hate you! He just wants to make sure you´re the right one for his daughter!" Derek promised but wasn´t sure because Mark really was the type of man fathers hated.

"No I can´t go back. Are you still at Joe´s?"

"Yes I´m still here with Alex Karev but you won´t come here! You are going to go back and finish this dinner and convince him that you are the right man for Lexie!"

"You think I´m able to do that?"

"Yes you are! You just have to believe in yourself. And in miracles because you know you are my best friend but as you said: fathers usually don´t like you!"

"You´re really my best friend Derek."

"I know." both laughed and hang up. Then Mark looked in the mirror and dried his face with some paper towels.

"You got this!" he comforted his mirror image. Then he left the restroom and went back to the table his girlfriend and her dad were sitting.

* * *

"Who was that?" Alex asked while drinking the last sip of his bottle of beer.

"Mark Sloan..." Derek told him and put his phone in his jacket.

"Haha is Lexie´s father making him nervous?" he laughed sarcastically but stopped when Derek didn´t answer. "Really? I always thought he was a man who couldn´t get nervous easily."

"Well, he really likes her and that´s the problem for her dad." Derek explained and looked at his watch. "Do you know when the girls finish their `women´s night´?" but Alex shook his head and ordered a new beer.

* * *

"Okay Iz...what would you like to watch? `The lucky one´ or `Titanic´?" Meredith asked and held the two DVDs up.

"Um...I don´t care.." she smiled weakly and sat down on the couch with a glass of milk.

"Okay..." Meredith meant and put the DVD into the recorder and also sat down. "Hey what are you doing with that milk? We´ve got wine!" she laughed but Izzie meant that she doesn´t want to drink alcohol.

"Why? It´s not like you´re pregnant, is it?" Meredith laughed but Izzie didn´t answer and looked into her glass. "No! You are pregnant? Izzie that´s great! Oh my god that´s fantastic!" she smiled and hugged her friend.

"Oh no it´s not a big deal."

"Are you kidding? Since when? I mean I thought that your ass was getting bigger but I thought that´s because of the pastries you baked the last months."

"Since a bit more than five months I think.."

"How could you hide it five months from me?"

"Well, I also discovered it a few weeks ago."

"Izzie that´s great! We´re getting a baby as a new roommate!"

"Yeah I guess that´s what happening..." Izzie replied quite sad and Meredith wanted to talk more about the baby but Izzie told her that they should watch the movie and so they did.

* * *

"Would you like to have a dessert darling?" Thatcher asked his daughter after the service personal took the plates of the meals. _Oh god please not..I can´t be here any longer..._ Mark thought but smiled.

"Um..sure why not...I think nothing´s wrong with a coffee and a cake or something.." she replied and took the dessert menu. _No, no, no, no did she really just say yes?_ Mark thought and tried to look happy but in fact he looked stressed.

"And you...Mark?" Thatcher asked quickly and still not happy about Lexie´s decision.

"Oh no thank you...I can´t eat more. Maybe just a coffee." he replied still uncomfortable with the situation. The waiter came again and Lexie´s dad ordered three coffees and two cakes. Mark and Lexie were still holding hands but now she noticed how sweaty his was.

"Mark?" she whispered while her dad made the order. "I really love you but your hand is sweating like it would have 40 degrees Celcius."

"I´m sorry Lex but your dad makes me feel really uncomfortable!" he whispered back and both stopped holding their hands and dried them on their clothes. Then Thatcher turned back to them and they started smiling again.

* * *

"Can I bring you something?" the barkeeper asked when he saw Derek´s empty glass.

"Yeah water please. I still have to drive." he smiled and looked at Alex. "I can drive you home if you want to drink more." Alex nodded and drank his beer.

"That´s the kind of boss I like! Hey Joe!" he meant and the barkeeper turned around. "Everything doctor Sheperd orders from this moment is going on my bill! So give the man everything he wants and bring me a beer!"

"But you still have half of your beer." Derek noticed.

"So what? I like beer!" Alex explained a little drunk. "So, how´s it going. Are you two gonna get married?"

"Meredith and I...I don´t know...I would love too but she´s like a scared deer. If you move too fast she´ll run away." Derek answered and drank from his water.

"Oh please you are Meredith and Derek..you are Mer-Der! Merder, that sounds funny!" Alex laughed and Derek just gave him a fake smile.

"I could ask you the same question...I mean you and Stevens are doing it a lot...I´m just waiting till the baby comes." Derek admitted.

"You don´t have to wait for too long Sheperd. In a few months or something I will be father." Alex meant drunk

"Wha-What?!" Derek asked shocked.

"Yeah she´s already pregnant." Alex meant and opened the next bottle of beer after he drank out the last one.

"Why didn´t we know earlier?" Derek asked still shocked and now confused too.

"She told me yesterday that she´s already five months along. Isn´t it funny? I´m finally having something good in my life after all the shit I´ve been through and now the possibility that the love of my life dies before she gets the child is higher than surviving the last months and giving birth to a healthy baby." Alex calculated and Derek thought about the information.

"What do you mean with `dies before she gets the child´?" Derek asked.

* * *

"This movie was great!" Meredith meant happily and turned off the TV.

"Yeah it was...I´m so tired..." Izzie yawned and was about to stand up and leave the room.

"Wait! We´ve got the second movie too!" Meredith wanted to stop her and pointed on the other DVD.

"Mer, I´m really tired and I have night shift tomorrow.."

"So you can sleep the whole day. Come on let us watch it too.." she begged and Izzie nodded and sat down again.

"But that´s the last one okay!" she meant and Meredith nodded happily. She took the DVD out of the recorder and put the other one into it.

"Okay lets get started!" she said when she took a bowl with popcorn and sat down on the couch again.

* * *

"Okay but now I´m really full...I think I have to do a diet for the next week." Lexie admitted and leaned back after she finished the dessert.

"Me too!" Thatcher laughed and everybody started laughing too. "Okay then I will ask for the bill."

"Oh no I can pay!" Mark suggested quickly.

"No, no it´s fine thank you I invited you so I´ll pay." Thatcher explained and asked for it when the waiter came.

10 Minutes later the three were standing in front of the entrance to the restaurant and were about to go.

"It was really nice to see you again dad!" Lexie meant and hugged him.

"Yeah we should meet often, now that I live in Seattle again and not in that clinic." Thatcher replied.

"It was a pleasure to meet you!" Mark said and held out his hand.

"Nah..yeah..it was...kind of." Thatcher answered and ignored his hand but got a bump in his rips from Lexie so he took the hand and shook it.

"Good night dad, I love you!"

"I love you too darling!" they said and went into different directions.

"Are you here by car?" Mark asked Lexie.

"No he picked me up at our appartment." she answered smiling and went towards Mark´s car. _Well, he knows where I´m living...If he wants to he can come and kill me now...whenever he wants..good work Lex..._ Mark´s inner voice freaked out.

"And what do you think about my dad?" she asked when they sat in his car.

"Well,...um...he´seems nice...and if I get to know him better he will start liking me for sure." Mark smiled and Lexie giggled.

"He has to! Because I don´t want to ever leave you!"

* * *

"Alex! What do you mean with `dying before she gets the baby´?" Derek asked again louder.

"She has cancer! Which spread to her brain! She has 5 % to survive this and she doesn´t want to fight as long as she´s pregnant..." Alex explained drunk and mad. "And the funniest thing of all is that she didn´t tell me! Cristina did. She told Cristina and Lexie. I didn´t even know they were friends."

"You calm down...I think you´ve got enough beer. Joe we want to pay! We are going to drive home!" Derek meant and put on his jacket but Alex was still sitting there. "Come on! Put on your jacket!"

"I can´t..I can´t.." Alex murmured.

"Why?"

"I can´t live without her! She´s the best thing that has ever happened to me! I can´t lose her!" he thought loud.

"You won´t!"

"Why are you so sure?"

"Because you told me! And you know who I am?"

"Derek Shepherd?"

"Right! I´m Derek Shepherd the best neurosurgeon you could get for this job! You won´t lose her!" he promised and paid the bill.

"No I said that I´ll pay!"

"You can give me the money tomorrow. Now come!" Derek meant and they went to his car and drove home. A few minutes later they were at the house.

"Okay Alex stay quiet! I think Meredith and Izzie are sleeping already." Derek whispered when he opened the front door. Not sure what he just told him, Alex followed his boss into the house and shut the door.

"I told you to stay quiet!" Derek warned whispering and Alex put his hands up like he wouldn´t be guilty.

"Alex? Derek?" Izzie asked from the living room.

"Izzie? You´re awake." Derek noticed surprised.

"Yeah but Mer isn´t..." she pressed her upper lip against her lower lip and looked at her lying on the couch with an empty wine glass in the hand and then back to Derek "I think she had to much drinks"

"Well, your boyfriend too." Derek smiled and looked at Alex who tried to put off his jacket and failed when he bumped against the wall.

"Ow! Damn it!" he yelled and Meredith woke up.

"I will carry him to your bedroom okay?" Derek suggested and Izzie nodded.

"Derek!" Meredith meant happily and sat up.

"I´ll be right back honey." he replied and went to Izzie´s and Alex´ bedroom and put the drunken Alex into the bed. Then he went back down and took his girlfriend by her hand and laid her into their bed. Meanwhile Izzie stood up and cleaned the room and gave the empty glasses and bowls into the sink. Derek went back down and helped her.

"Thank you!" Izzie said when they put the last dish into the sink.

"No problem." he replied and they were silent for a while.

"He told you, didn´t he?" Izzie asked while looking out of the window. Derek nodded. Although she couldn´t see him she knew it was a yes.

"And now you also want me to tell that I have to fight, right?" she asked again and fought against her tears.

"All I want to tell you is that I´m the best neurosurgeon you can get and that, if you want to and if your willing to fight, you and the baby can survive this." Derek answered and Izzie wiped away the tears. "It´s gonna be okay! We´re making a plan! You will have the best team of doctors by your side."

"I know.." she admitted. "But I don´t think that I am able to do this."

"I believe you are." he comforted her.

"You do?"

"Of course I do! Look at you! You´re Isobel Stevens! You were raised in a trailer park, got pregnant at the age of sixteen and after all that crap you graduated from med school and look where you are now!"

"I´m standing with you in the kitchen of my best friend`s house, carrying a fetus in my stomach and having cancer. Is that really something I could be proud of?"

"Yes it is. Because you´re working at the best hospital in Seattle and know the best surgeons and so you have the best surviving chances." Izzie nodded and turned around. Derek looked her in the eyes and also nodded. Then out of sudden Denny was standing right behind Derek and Izzie looked at him. Derek noticed it and turned around but couldn´t see anything.

"What is there?" he asked and Izzie pointed on the place Denny was standing and looking at her with his sad eyes.

"Denny Duquette.." she answered still looking at him.

"Denny Duquette, the heart patient? Your DEAD fiancé?" Derek asked confused and turned around again still not seeing anyone.

"Yes. He´s a hallucination because of the tumor in my brain. He´s the reason I found out I have cancer."

"Then say goodbye to him. You won´t see him any longer because you will fight!" Derek meant and the moment he said it Denny disappeared and Izzie nodded.

"I will!"


	15. 15

"We´re here." Derek meant and pulled the parking brake. Izzie nodded. After Derek´s words she decided to get the treatment. So he drove her to the hospital that night, because she didn´t want that everybody knows about her illness. They went into the hospital to the oncology department. Izzie crossed her arms over her chest and started fighting her tears. Derek noticed it and laid his arm around her. As soon as she felt it she looked at him and smiled and he smiled back. They walked towards doctor Bailey and Webber who turned around and watched them coming. Izzie now looked confused and stopped walking.

"I told them." Derek admitted.

"Why?" Izzie asked shocked and mad.

"I´m the best neurosurgeon but you maybe also need the best general surgeons. Izzie you can´t win this battle alone! You have to accept help." he answered and offered her his hand. She looked at him still crossing her arms and fighting with tears. She nodded and took his hand and they went to Bailey and Webber. They took her to a patient room where she sat down on the bed and looked around.

"Okay so let´s talk about my options." Izzie sighed and looked at the three doctors.

"Doctor Stevens, maybe you want to rest first...we could also talk about this tomor-" Bailey started but Izzie cut her off.

"Izzie...call me Izzie...now where we have to spend a lot of time together. I couldn´t get rest since I saw Denny the first time. So please...tell me about my options."

"Okay..." Bailey meant and looked at Webber before she sat down next to her resident. "As you know it´s not advisable to do a chemo during pregnancy. But babys are survivable off the sixth month. So we thought we would do a c-section and then treat your cancer." Izzie looked down at her shoes.

"Of course we know that this isn´t the best way to give birth to your child...and..and the surviving chance would be better if we would wait till the seventh month...but...um..maybe you...won´t.." Webber continued.

"Maybe I won´t survive till then." Izzie finished his sentence and he looked down at his shoes nodding. "Well, I think this is the only way right? I mean Lexie Grey also thought that this would be the best idea. And I´m officially in the sixth month since yesterday. So when do we start?"

* * *

"Good morning!" Lexie greeted Mark when he came to the kitchen.

"Morning?" he yawned "It´s 3 am!"

"Sorry I woke you up. Izzie Stevens paged me. I should come to the hospital right now." Lexie said and pour some coffee into her cup.

"What is that between you and Izzie Stevens? You meet before your shift starts, you have to do `research´ for her, you and all the other interns worked for her for a whole week and nobody knows why. Are you two a secret lesbian couple?" Mark asked smirking. Lexie choked on her coffee and coughed.

"What?" she replied when she could breathe again. "No! It´s...personal stuff. She ...she needs a friend right now."

"She has Meredith and Christina and..and Alex he´s her boyfriend. Why you? Why does she need you all the time?" Mark asked mad because Lexie didn´t want to tell him what´s up.

"Damn it! Mark!" Lexie replied angrily and loud. "She´s sick! Really sick! She´s pregnant and has cancer! And I´m...I´m the one who found out!" Lexie started crying and Mark looked shocked.. "I´m the one who destroyed her life with one diagnose. I´m the only one who knows about it – so yeah she only has me to talk about it!" Mark nodded and came closer to his girlfriend and put his arm around her. She started crying and laid her head on his chest.

"It´s okay...Everything´s gonna be okay!" he tried to comfort her.

"I really need to go now." she said after finishing crying.

"You can´t drive in this condition. I´m going to drive you to the hospital." Mark meant and went to his closet to put on a pair of jeans and a shirt.

"No..You don´t have to do this! Your shift starts in a few hours. You should sleep!" Lexie tried to stop him but also was happy about his decision.

"I can sleep in the hospital too!" Mark said when he came into the living room again and put on his shoes.

"You will regret this when you wake up there with backache."

"I would regret it if you would have a car accident because you pay more attention on Stevens than on the street!" he explained and opened the door. He showed her with his hand to come and so she did and they drove to the hospital. Then they went in and to the oncology wing where Izzie wanted to meet Lexie.

"I think it´s better if you´re not coming with me." Lexie admitted and Mark nodded.

"I´m in the on-call room over there if you need me." Mark kissed his girlfriend softly and went into the room to get some sleep. Lexie went into the patient room Izzie sent her and was shocked by what she saw.

"Holy Shit! Izzie?" she asked unable to believe what she saw. Izzie was lying in the bed in the patient´s clothes. "You decided to fight?"

"Well, it kinda looks like that right?" she replied. Lexie nodded and came closer.

"So why did you page me?"

"I want you to promise me that you will assist in every operation and that you will take care of Alex. He will be tired and sad and...and terrified. I know he has Meredith but she doesn´t know about...this yet. So please will you promise me that?" Izzie wanted to know and Lexie nodded again. "Okay." she whispered.

"So what´s the plan?" Lexie asked when she finally stood by her bed.

"Well, tomorrow I will get a c-section and then I will get some rest and two days later we start with the treatment and operation." Izzie explained.

"Are you scared?..I mean of course you´re scared but...you know...are you afraid of dying?" Lexie stuttered.

"Yes."

* * *

"Alex!" Meredith yelled upstairs. "We need to go to the hospital!"

"What? It´s my free day today! And it´s 6 am! I want to sleep!" he replied shouting.

"It´s about Izzie! Come!" Now Alex noticed that Izzie wasn´t lying beside him. He ran down the stairs where Meredith was already waiting.

"Did something happen? Where is she?" he asked shocked.

"Just put on some clothes and then let´s go!" Meredith ordered and so they did. After a few minutes they arrived in the hospital where Derek was already waiting.

"Where is she?" Alex asked out of breath.

"Follow me!"he answered and they went to the oncology wing. Alex ran into Izzie´s room and woke her up.

"Iz! Izzie!" he cried and she woke up shocked.

"Why are you screaming? And why are you crying?" she asked confused and tired.

"I thought you died! I thought something terrible happened." Alex explained and hugged her.

"No! I´m fine. Well, kinda.." she meant and Alex calmed down and sat down next to her.

"What are you doing here?" Meredith asked finally because nobody told her yet.

"Let´s go outside." Derek said and they left Alex and Izzie.

"Izzie is sick. She has metastatic melanoma which spread to her brain and maybe other organs too. We´re going to do some tests after we delivered her baby. Lexie will assist on every operation and I´m going to be in the o.r. the whole time." Derek explained and Meredith looked shocked.

"What?" she asked quietly and stared at her fiancé. "But she never told-"

"She wanted to keep it a secret. To give birth to her child and not fight. I changed her mind." Derek meant and laid his hand on Meredith´s cheek. "She´ll survive this. We are going to save her." she nodded.

* * *

"They are going to do a c-section today." Izzie meant looking at her hands and playing with her fingers nervously.

"So I become a father today.." Alex noticed and also looked on her hands. Izzie nodded.

"You have to take care of our little boy...and if I won´t make it-"  
"Stop! You are going to survive this! There´s no excuse!"

"Alex.."

"No!" he shouted and took her hands. "You´re not going to die. You will fight the cancer and we will be the best parents ever!" Izzie smiled and put her hand on his cheek.

"I love you!" she meant and kissed him soft.

"Hey guys." Lexie meant when she came in and interrupted their kiss. "I´m sorry...I have to check your vitals."

"You are checking them every thirty minutes. Don´t you want to get some sleep?" Izzie asked giggling.

"I want to be sure if everything´s fine." she replied smiling and yawned.

"You won´t get to operate if you´re not going to sleep. Alex is a doctor too. He can check my vitals and you...go get some sleep!" Izzie order and Lexie chuckled.

"Okay.." she meant and went to the on-call room Mark was sleeping. She laid down beside him and he woke up.

"Hello stranger.." he yawned smiling and put the blanket over her. "Ready with stalking Stevens?" Lexie laughed.

"She sent me to get some sleep. So I´m here." she meant putting her head on his naked chest. Mark smirked.

"Then good night.." he meant and kissed her head before falling asleep again.

* * *

"Owen?" Meredith asked when he walk by.

"Oh hi Mer." he replied.

"How´s your hand?"

"Um...okay..yeah it hurts sometimes but it´s okay."

"Does Christina already know that you are hurt so bad?"

"No...she...she doesn´t need to know that...she will say it was her fault and it wasn´t. I could have be more careful." Meredith nodded.

"Should I check if it´s really healing?"

"No thank you. I have to go to the e.r. now. Bye!" he answered quick and left her behind.

* * *

Mark´s pager went on and he tried to stand up and leave to room without waking his girlfriend. He made it and left the room and went to the e.r.

"You paged me?" he asked Owen when he entered the room.

"Yeah it´s a 16 – year old boy with inner bleeding and second and third degree incineration. Did someone page peds?" Owen explained stressed.

"Okay I will take a look." Mark said and looked at the burned parts of the boy´s body.

"Okay what´s the matter?" Callie asked when she entered the room.

"Oh I´m sorry...we wanted doctor Robbins to come." Owen meant confused and Mark looked at her.

"Yeah she´s...she doesn´t have time right now...I´m here and I´m going to tell her what the problem is." Callie lied because she knew that Arizona wasn´t able yet to operate another kid after she lost Abby.

"What?" Owen asked still confused. "Um...okay...Just examine him."

* * *

"And? What was the problem?" Arizona asked while she cleaned the room.

"It´s a sixteen year old boy with inner bleeding and incineration." Callie explained while going down the hallway.

"Okay...Miller can operate him." Arizona meant and went to the kitchen.

"Are you serious? You lost a patient. Everybody does. Just come to work again. I´m sick of calling you and tell you about every patient to hear that you won´t help them." Callie explained mad.

"I can´t...that girl...it was too much for me...just tell Miller he has to do it." Arizona said still sad and opened the fridge.

"Arizona! I´m not going to do this anymore!" Callie whispered angrily into her phone.

"Calliope I have to hang up."

"Arizona! Ari-" Callie meant but she already hang up. Callie put her phone into her bag and went to Miller to tell him that he has to do it. Arizona took a bottle of water and drank from it. She stayed at Callie´s after they lost Abby and didn´t want to go to work. Callie called her the whole day and told her the vitals of her patient´s and when someone wanted her for an consult she also called and every time Arizona said no. Arizona sat down on the couch and switched on the TV and watched the last nights episode of `American Bake-of´.

* * *

"Okay guys we should operate him now! His abdomen is full with blood from his damaged portal vein." Owen said when he did an ultra sound.

"Okay page me when you finished then I will take care of his incineration." Mark meant and stood up putting off his gloves and leaving the room after Owen nodded. He gave Miller the chart and he and some residents went to the o.r.

"Doctor Hunt? Are you coming?" Miller asked.

"Oh I think you can handle this alone. Page me if you need something." Owen explained because he wasn´t allowed to operate and the team left the room. Owen stayed and cleaned the room a bit till Christina came in.

"Hello?" she asked confused as she saw Owen cleaning up and not going with the team to scrub in. "What are you doing here?"

"I´m cleaning the room."

"I noticed that...but why are you here and not in the o.r.?" Christina asked pointing on the door.

"Oh I didn´t want to.." Owen lied.

"You didn´t want to? Are you kidding me?" Christina asked sarcastically.

"Yeah I want to take a break. Just for a week or so." Owen lied and it really hurt him that he did this. Christina nodded suspicious.

"Are you hiding something from me?"

"No!" she nodded again when her pager went on.

"Okay I have to go...Izzie needs my help." she meant and looked at Owen still not believing that he´s telling her the truth before she left.

* * *

"You paged me?" Christina asked entering the patient´s room Izzie was and looking on her pager. "What do you – oh my god Izzie? You fight?"

"Why is everyone so surprised about that?" Izzie asked acting like she would be mad. Christina started smiling and blinking because she couldn´t believe it.

"That´s great! So how´s the plan?" Christina asked.

"Well, today I´m going to have a c-section and then in a few days we start the treatment so, scans, operations, chemo or something like that. I´m going to have a nice chat with the head of oncology in twenty minutes. I paged you because I wanted to thank you for helping me and I want you to be the smart one of all my friends." Izzie explained.

"The smart one?" Christina raised an eyebrow while asking.

"Yeah,...Alex will freak out and Lexie promised me to take care of him but she is really emotional and Meredith will also be super sensible. You´re not...you´re tough. Please take care of all of the. And you have to be the one who knows when the time is to let go." Izzie said and Christina came closer.

"Are you asking me to be the one who stops life support?" Christina wanted to know and Izzie nodded.

"I already signed the papers. When something happens I don´t want to have life-sustaining measures. But I need a doctor to sign it too. I don´t want to ask Bailey or Webber. I want to ask you."Izzie meant and hold the papers towards Christina. But she shook her head.

"No Izzie! You can´t be serious...You don´t want this...this is just nervousness speaking out of you...You not really want to-"

"I want...I thought about it since the day I found out about this. I thought about my options and I don´t want to lie here and not to be able to do something, to communicate or breathe on my own. If I have a heart attack, or if I´m gonna fall into coma or something, I want that you stop the life supporting machines!" Izzie explained still holding the papers towards Christina who felt the tears coming up into her eyes. She took them and read it.

"You really want this?" she asked again and Izzie nodded. Christina sighed and took a pen and signed it. "Here." she said and gave it to Izzie who smiled weakly.

"Okay Izzie...we need to prepare you for the c-section now. Doctor Yang if you would leave us now please?" a nurse meant and lead her to the door. Christina looked at Izzie with questioning eyes and she nodded so Christina left.

* * *

Lexie woke up after hours when she suddenly didn´t feel Mark´s arm around her. She looked around and after a look at her watch she saw that it was nearly 3 pm – Izzie´s operation started soon. She jumped out of the bed and ran to Izzie´s room but she was already in the o.r. So Lexie ran to the o.r. wing and saw that the gynecologist who operated Izzie just finished getting sterile. She entered the room with the sink and the gyn asked her where she has been.

"I´m sorry I...I...I´m sorry but now I´m here. Is she still awake?" Lexie excused herself and the gyn nodded annoyed. Lexie went into the o.r. where Izzie was already lying and getting nervous.

"Hey.." she said as she saw Lexie who came closer and took her hand.

"Ready?" she asked and Izzie smiled.

"Now that I know you´re here yes." Lexie had to smile too.

"Doctor Grey! If you don´t mind please scrub in that we can start." the gyn meant mad and Lexie looked at Izzie and told her that everything will be fine and left her again to scrub in.

* * *

Two hours later Izzie woke up surrounded by her friends.

"Hey.." she said huskily and Alex who sat on her bed started crying. "How´s it going?" Everybody laughed.

"Everything was fine. We welcomed a healthy little boy at 3.45 pm. He´s strong for what he made through. He was not able to breathe alone so we had to do an intubation, but he´s stable for now and we are looking forward that he´ll breathe on his own soon." Lexie explained and Izzie smiled.

"Could you see him yet?" she asked Alex and he nodded.

"Yeah...he´s beautiful. He got your eyes." Alex smiled while crying and Izzie put a hand on his cheek.

"Do you already know how you want to call him?" Meredith asked snoopy.

"I thought about Denny." Izzie meant and everybody got quiet.

"Denny?" Christina asked.

"Are you sure?" Meredith wanted to know.

"I think Denny is a great name." Lexie meant but nobody respond to her and she didn´t understand why everybody was shocked. "Um...I´m sorry but have I missed something?"

"Are you sure you want to call our son after you dead fiancé?" Alex asked confused and Lexie looked at her sister as she heard that who looked at her too and told her that she would tell her later.

"Without him I wouldn´t lie in this bed. I would still sit at home on the couch drinking beer, while having headache and thinking about how I gained these pounds. I want to keep him and what he did for me...for us in honor." Izzie explained and Alex nodded.

"Okay.." he agreed and turned around to Meredith. "Could you tell the ped nurses that our child´s name is Denny?" She nodded and took Lexie with her and on their way she told her the story of Denny Duquette and Izzie Stevens. Christina also left to give them a little bit time together and went to the nurse´s desk to do the charts.

"Christina?" Owen meant as he stood next to her and looked at her with his eyes full of sorrow. "I think you know it already but...I´m not operating because I want to take a break."

"Really? What a surprise!" Christina answered sarcastically and mad and gave the chart to the nurse and went away.

"Chris-...Christina!" Owen called her and ran after her. "I have a damaged nerve." he said when he grabbed her hand and stopped her from running away. She looked confused and switched gaze between his hand and face. "From the chicken you wanted to make. I put it out of the oven and burned my hand. Remember? Well, as it turned out it wasn´t just burned. It damaged a nerve. Nothing terrible. Meredith examined me and gave me some drugs and said I´m not allowed till it´s okay."

"Why didn´t you tell me?" Christina asked as she took his hand and looked at the place he had some burned skin.

"I didn´t want you to feel guilty. I made a mistake." Owen admitted and Christina looked at him.

"You didn´t do anything wrong. I thought I could cook." she meant.

"No it was my fault. If I wouldn´t have joined the army again, I wouldn´t have needed to do the therapy and you wouldn´t have cooked for me." Owen explained and Christina shook her head.

"Stop! It´s not your fault. It´s mine. You don´t have to excuse your acting." She meant and kissed him softly.

* * *

"Get up!" Callie said mad when she entered her apartment and saw Arizona sitting on the couch and watching TV.

"What?" Arizona asked confused about Callie´s tone.

"I said get up!" she repeated. "I don´t know what happened in your youth and I don´t know why you loved this patient so much but I know that this isn´t the right way to handle it. So get up. Now!" Arizona stood up a little bit afraid and Callie switched off the TV. "Now. Put on you boots and jacket!" she said.

"Calliope..-" Arizona meant confused but Callie showed her to shut up and pointed on her clothes. Arizona put them on and waited for another command.

"No come with me." Callie meant and left the apartment Arizona following her. They sat in Callie´s car and drove away.

"Where are we going?" Arizona asked but Callie didn´t answer. "Calliope!"

"Just wait for it!" Callie replied and concentrated on the streets. It was already dark and Arizona only saw the streetlights.

"Are you driving me into the wood? I hate camping!" Arizona meant but Callie didn´t reply. A few minutes later they stopped and Callie left the car and so did Arizona.

"What´s that?" Arizona asked and pointed on a trailer. "That´s Derek Sheperd´s trailer. I asked him if I could borrow it for tonight." Callie explained.

"Camping...great.." Arizona meant.

"Not really. But first you are going to process your grief." Callie ordered and pointed on a place where wood and a ax lay. Arizona looked at her and asked if it´s going to be what she thought and Callie nodded.

* * *

"Hey..."Mark meant when he went to the newborn ICU where Lexie was sitting by Izzie´s child. "He´s beautiful."

"Yeah he is" Lexie agreed and hold his little hand.

"Where´s Alex?" Mark asked still looking at Lexie and the newborn.

"His getting some coffee." Lexie replied looked to Mark.

"You want to drive home?" Mark asked and Lexie bit on her lip.

"Izzie asked me to take care of Alex and he´s overstrained with the whole situation." Lexie explained.

"It´s okay. I´ll be here tomorrow at 11 am. Call me if you need something and you´ve got a key so...see you later. Love you." Mark kissed his girlfriend and left again.

A few moments later Alex came with to cups of coffee and gave one to Lexie.

"Thank you." she said as he sat down next to her and they looked at the baby. They started talking about Izzie and what´s going to be next and the baby and suddenly Alex started crying.

"Oh no...I didn´t want to make cry.." Lexie tried to comfort him and put her arm around him.

"It´s okay...I just...I don´t know what I would do without her...she´s the best thing that´s every been mine...I can´t live without her..." Alex sobbed and Lexie nodded. "Thank you for being here for me.." he meant and looked at Lexie who still had her arm on his shoulder.

"No problem!" she answered and hugged him. Alex wasn´t really a fan of hugs but this one helped him. After a while they stopped it and Lexie pulled away. She looked at him with a comforting smile and suddenly Alex leaned over and kissed her.


	16. 16

It was rainy. In Seattle it was almost always raining. The rain drops hit against the windows of the Seattle Grace hospital. Some babies were crying and the parents carried them through the newborn ICU. Alex´ hand was placed on Lexie´s cheek and her eyes were opened wide. His lips were on hers and she could feel his tears streaming down his face. Lexie was totally overstrained and didn´t know what to do for a second. After some weird seconds she pushed him away.

"Alex!" she meant confused while her cheeks turned into a deep red. "I...I..I have a ..Mark he´s...he´s my...and you have Izzie.." she stuttered. But Alex didn´t say anything and leaned over to kiss her again but this time she could push him away before it happened a second time.

"Alex!" she said louder now and hold him away.

"I´m sorry...I just...I need...just one time..." Alex begged still crying. Lexie shook her head shocked and stood up.

"I..I´m sorry I have to go now." she explained quickly and left the ICU. She ran to the interns locker room and put her hands on the sink. She hold it as hard as she could and didn´t know what to do know. She took her toothbrush and brushed her teeth. After Lexie finished the first round she decided to do a second one. She felt dirty and guilty. _It´s not my fault...I just wanted to comfort him...I didn´t want him to kiss me..._ Lexie thought and went to her locker to change into her normal clothes. Then she called a cab because Mark and she drove with the same car. Tears started to roll down her cheeks and she tried to not cry out as loud. Lexie thought about what she could tell Mark or if she should even tell him.

"We´re here." the cab driver said and Lexie nodded. She gave him the money and left the cab. Before she entered the house she took a deep breath and a few moments later she stood in the apartment. Quietly she sneaked through the apartment to the bedroom and opened the door as quiet as possible. She stepped in looking at her hot, sweet boyfriend lying the bed sleeping. She went a little bit closer and watched his chest going up and down when he was breathing. She closed her eyes and sighed. She was tired and exhausted and really wanted to sleep because she knew she would need power for Izzie but felt to guilty to sleep with him in a bed and also wanted to take a shower. Because she didn´t want to wake him she went to Callie´s and knocked a few times but nobody opened her. She decided to call her.

" _ **Hello?"**_

"Callie? Good your awake. Could you please open me the door? I want to take a shower and Mark´s already sleeping."

" _ **I would if I could but I´m not home!"**_

"Are you at the hospital? For how long? Please I need to get something off of me."

" _ **Lexie...Before you called I was about to have hot sex with my girlfriend in a trailer..."**_

"I don´t want to know that..."

" _ **The key is under the doormat."**_

"Thank you. Oh and have fun!"

" _ **Lexie?"**_

"Mhm?"

" _ **Don´t say that ever again!"**_ Callie meant and hang up. Lexie looked under the doormat and took the key to enter the apartment and took a long hot shower. She let the water flow into her face and washed her hair. After a half hour she left the shower and hushed into her apartment and dressed into her sleeping clothes and laid down into the bed but on the edge with her face outside of it.

* * *

"Who was that?" Arizona asked when Callie entered the room again.

"Not important.." Callie explained and kneed on the bed and laid over Arizona and kissed her.

"Calliope.." she giggled. "Who was that?"

"Lexie Grey." Callie replied fast and kissed her again.

"What? Is something with Izzie´s baby?" Arizona asked worried.

"Izzie´s baby?" Callie asked confused and stopped trying to kiss Arizona. "She is pregnant?"

"Was. We delivered her baby today." Arizona answered.

"No Lexie called because she wanted to take a shower in my apartment." Callie explained and Arizona nodded.

"Then let´s not talk about the others!" she meant and pulled Callie on her again and kissed her passionate.

* * *

Christina and Owen laid in a bed of an on-call room and kissed each other real passionate. He laid on her and softly pulled off her clothes. Christina took his shirt and pulled it off of him while she spread her legs. His hand stroked her body up to her arm till he reached her hand where he crossed his fingers around hers. Owen started kissing her neck and Christina moaned quietly. Owen went down to her thigh kissing her body the whole way down. She started moaning as quietly as she could to not get attention from the people outside. He paid full attention in the area southern the equator while she stroke his ginger hair.

"God Owen...I´ve missed you so much." she whispered with closed eyes.

"I was here the whole time." Owen meant confused but didn´t stop his work.

"Yeah but not like that." Christina giggled because she almost had an orgasm. "Okay stop it!"

"What...Wasn´t it good?" Owen asked when his head showed up under the blanket.

"No it was good...too good...we want to have some more fun than that right?" Christina smirked and Owen went up her body and kissed her as passionate as always. Their tongues started something like a fight and Christina put his pants off. The actions got hotter and hotter and then Owen entered her and Christina moaned louder than before. After twenty minutes full of fun they leaned back and breathed heavily. Christina looked at her watch when she saw that she was too late for the ward round. She stood up and put her clothes on again not reacting to Owen´s question where she would go.

"Christina!"

"I have to go and check Izzie." she meant while quickly giving him a kiss and leaving the room. She brushed through her hair with her fingers but it didn´t work and so she tied them up to a low ponytail. She stepped into Izzie´s room and went to the monitors when she noticed Izzie smiling and watching Christina.

"What?"

"You had sex."

"I don´t know what you´re talking about."

"You do. You´ve got the after-sex glow. And I could hear you. The on-call room is across my room. And...and I don´t know why you didn´t notice it yet but..you´re wearing navy blue pants. The resident´s pants are light blue." Izzie chuckled and Christina looked down her body.

"It was dark." she answered quickly and ashamed.

"It isn´t a shame. I also had sex. That´s why I got pregnant. And I´m bored. Tell me...is Owen a good kisser?"

"I´m not going to talk about my boyfriend and how his qualities in bed are. Where´s your boyfriend?"

"He´s with Denny. Lexie takes care of them and I told him that I want to get some rest and so he left. And now I´m bored."

"Okay...um...I´m not here for your entertainment and my hot, naked boyfriend is still over there so I will get your boyfriend and bring him to you that I can go to mine." Christina smiled and Izzie nodded so she left to get Alex. She went to the newborn ICU where she thought to see Lexie and him but there was nobody with the baby. So she went to the nurse´s desk and asked for Alex and the nurse told her that he ran crying to the toilets. She also went there and entered the men´s restroom where she found Alex standing by the sink and trying to calm down.

"Evil spawn! What are you doing here? Crying in a toilet? That´s a girl-thing!" she made fun of him but as soon as she noticed that he didn´t react she stopped and came closer. "Alex? What´s wrong?"

"I screwed up. I screwed up with Izzie and Lexie and Mark..and with everyone...I screwed up?" Alex cried and Christina came closer.

"What do you mean? What did happen?" she asked confused as she put her hand on his shoulder.

"I´m so screwed. Izzie will never forgive me." Alex explained but Christina didn´t understand.

"I can´t follow your words. What would Izzie never forgive you."

"I screwed up..I cheated on her.."

"You did what?!" Christina asked loud and pulled her hand back. "With whom?"

"Lexie." he meant huskily.

"Have you completely lost your mind?! They are like best friends! And Lexie has a boyfriend!" Christina meant loudly and slapped her friend.

"Ouch!" Alex meant and rubbed his cheek. "I didn´t want to. I was alone and terrified and...and Lexie was there and she hugged me...I didn´t think about it I just...I´m so sorry."

"Izzie just gave birth to your child! And she has cancer! How could you do this?" Christina wanted to know but Alex just shook his head.

"Okay I´m going to page Meredith. She has to choose what you´re going to do. I...I´m overstrained with this." Christina said and did it. A few minutes later Meredith found herself standing in the men´s restroom asking why she was her. Christina pointed on Alex but he didn´t say anything and Meredith switched gaze between them with an asking look.

"He cheated on Izzie." Christina said quickly.

"Christina!" Alex whispered mad.

"You did what? With whom?" Meredith asked confused and loud. Christina looked at Alex and waited for him to say it but he just crossed his arms over his chest.

"With your sister." Christina answered for him and again Alex looked at her mad and Meredith´s eyes opened wide.

"What? If you´re not talking?" Christina explained to Alex and he concentrated on her and didn´t see Meredith coming closer and slapping him.

"Ouch!" he meant and rubbed his cheek again.

"How could you dare to sleep with Lexie? She´s with Mark!" Meredith asked furious.

"I didn´t sleep with her!" Alex admitted.

"He just kissed her." Christina meant with an sarcastic undertone.

"I think now it´s enough!" Alex meant and looked at Christina with mad eyes.

"That´s not better!" Meredith shouted. "How could you do this to Lexie? She´s to emotional for this. Oh my god..Izzie! How could you do this to her?"

"I didn´t want to!" Alex tried to make it better but it didn´t work.

"God! And now? Should we tell her?" Meredith asked the two.

"We don´t do anything. It´s his fault." Christina meant and pointed on Alex who gave her a mad look again. "Shit I told Izzie I would bring you to her. And Owen – he´s still waiting for me."

"It´s okay you can go. I will do this." Meredith explained and Christina nodded and went to the door.

"You were right evil spawn." she said when she turned around and looked at Alex "You screwed up."

"Screw you!" he yelled after her.

"Hey! It´s not her fault that you can´t let your tongue in one girl´s mouth! God Alex! Why? And why my little sis?" Meredith asked with a tortured gaze.

"I don´t know why or why her. I was alone and she was there...Mer I´m so sorry.." Alex tried to excuse his acting but knew that it didn´t help.

"Okay...I...I don´t know what to do but you should tell Izzie soon...maybe she´ll understand it." Meredith meant and also left. Alex splashed some cold water into his face and tried to look focused. Then he went to Izzie´s room but she already fell asleep and so he sat down in the bed next to her and also fell asleep soon.

* * *

Derek laid in his bed and slept when Meredith came home. She quietly stepped into the bed and put her arm around him. He woke up from this and turned around and looked his love in the eyes.

"Hey." he whispered. Meredith replied this with a smile.

"I love you." Derek smiled.

"I love you too." Meredith answered and kissed him.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our three kids." Meredith pulled away and looked at him weird. "What?"

"Kids?" Meredith asked nervous.

"Yes. I would love to have your babies." Derek smiled.

"You don´t want to have my babies. They will have some malformations or Alzheimer like mother had." Meredith explained.

"Look at Izzie Stevens...Maybe she won´t survive this. I don´t want to wait till it´s too late. I want your crappy babies Meredith." Derek kissed her and she replied the kiss but was unsure if she really wanted it.

* * *

Lexie woke up by the sound of Mark cooking. She stretched her arms and legs and stood up smiling because it smelled like bacon and eggs. Memories of the night Mark slept at her place when she was still living with her father. She went to the door which was a little bit open and wanted to step into the living room when she remembered what happened last night. Lexie felt a huge wave of sorrow and went back. She sat down on the bed and buried her head in her hands.

"Lexie! Breakfast is ready." Mark called her from the kitchen but Lexie didn´t reply. "Lexie?" he asked again and she could hear his steps coming closer but still didn´t react. "Lex?" Mark asked when he entered the bedroom and saw her crying sitting on the bed. "What´s wrong?" Mark sat down next to his girlfriend and put his arm around her. He didn´t say anything and just looked at her and she started crying louder. He hugged her and she laid her head on his chest. After some minutes she stopped crying and put her head up and wiped away her tears. She stood up and ran through the room to pick out some clothes.

"I´m sorry...I...have to go to the hospital!" Lexie meant quickly and dressed herself up.

"We have our free day..we would you want to go to the hospital?" Mark chuckled but stopped as he noticed that she really wanted to go. "Lex..What´s wrong with you today?"

"I need to visit Izzie and I want to meet with my dad." Lexie explained dry.

"I thought we could eat some breakfast and then maybe we can visit the space needle." Mark meant. Lexie would have loved to but she couldn´t look him in the eyes because she felt ashamed.

"No sorry...Izzie needs me." Lexie lied because she was scared if Izzie hates her now.

"Um...okay...I...I will drive you." Mark meant and stood up.

"No!" Lexie meant loud and hold her hand out to stop him. "I will drive on my own. Bye." Lexie replied and left the apartment. Mark came one step closer to kiss her but she was already gone.

* * *

"Last night was...kinda amusing." Arizona giggled before entering Callie´s apartment.

"Just amusing?" Callie asked trying to hide nervousness that Arizona wasn´t happy coming up.

"No...it was amazing...I´m just not the type who..likes camping." Arizona whispered while coming closer to her girlfriend. Callie smiled and leaned ver to kiss her when she saw Lexie coming out of her apartment and running down the stairs. Callie looked after her and as soon as Arizona noticed that Callie didn´t look at her she turned her head towards the direction she was looking but couldn´t see anything because Lexie was fast.  
"What are you looking at?" she asked and turned her girlfriend´s head softly back to her face.

"Nothing...it´s just...um...I should go to Mark. Only for a few minutes. Checking if everything´s alright." she meant and saw Arizona´s smile disappearing. "He´s my best friend." Arizona sighed and nodded.

"I´´m going to make breakfast. And I have to go to work in a half hour so...hurry up!" she smiled and opened the door to Callie´s apartment while she went to Mark´s and knocked at the door. A few seconds later he opened it and looked at her. He nodded and Callie stepped in and saw the beautiful decorated table and the scrambled eggs in the pan.

"What´s going on?" she asked and went through the living room.

"I..I don´t know...Lexie she..she just left...she didn´t even kiss me...I..I´m afraid she will break up with me..." Mark stuttered trying to ignore his tears that wanted to come out of his eyes.

"Mark...she won´t. That girl loves you!" Callie tried to comfort him.

"But what is it? Yesterday everything was perfect and now? What happened that she was so strange today?" he asked now letting his tears stream down his face.

"I...I don´t know. But Arizona is going to work today. I´ll ask her if she can find something out." Callie meant and hugged him. He nodded after pulling away and Callie went into her apartment. She sat down by the table where Arizona already set the table and put a cup of coffee next to Callie´s plate.  
"Um..I wanted to ask you something..." Callie began and Arizona took a bite of her bread. "Could you ask Lexie Grey if something´s wrong with her? I think something happened last night." Arizona raised an eyebrow. "Just do it. For me." she nodded and after a look at her watch she stood up.

"I need to go. I have to be at Webber´s office before starting to work...because you know...I was sick." Arizona explained and gave Callie a kiss before leaving.

* * *

"I´m glad you´re back doctor Robbins." Webber meant and shook Arizona´s hand. "We´ve got some new patients. Doctor Alex Karev is on your service today."

"Great...could I please have Lexie Grey on my service too?"

"Today´s her free day."

"Really? Because I saw her going to the hospital this morning."

"Um..okay..of course if she´s here you can have her too."

"Great! Then I´m going to go back to work." Arizona meant and left the office and went to the pediatric station where Alex was already waiting.

"Good morning doctor Karev!" she said motivated when she saw him yawning. "Excited?"

"Excited for what?" he asked tired.

"The little humans? Peds?" she asked happily. "You shouldn´t be tired! Peds is hardcore." But Alex just laughed. "What?" Arizona asked sarcastically. "You don´t think peds is hardcore?" Alex bit on his lip to not say anything that would make Arizona mad at him. "We´ll see." she meant and took the charts of her patients and walked to the first room with Alex following her.

"Good morning Bryan!" she said smiling.

"Good Morning doctor Robbins!" the little boy shouted happily while throwing his hands in the air.

"You read the chart?" Arizona whispered to Alex and he nodded yawning. "Okay Bryan...Excited for your first operation?" she asked the boy again who nodded.

"Thank you doctor Robbins that you could arrange this for us." the mother, who sat in her son´s bed meant while stroking his hair.

"Amanda...I told you the first heart that fits will get to your son." she meant smiling before coming closer to the patient. "And today is the great day. I will fly to the hospital the heart you´ll get is and then I come back and doctor Karev and I and implant it into your chest."

* * *

The sun light shined into Izzie´s face and she woke up seeing Lexie noting something into her chart.

"Hey." she meant huskily and Lexie looked up.

"Hey. I´m sorry I´m already gone." she meant while turning around and going towards the door.

"Wait! Why?" Izzie asked confused. Lexie´s face turned into a big question mark. _Didn´t he tell her?_ Lexie thought and turned around. She wanted to stay and talk with her friend but she felt to guilty and thought about what she could use as an excuse to leave when her pager suddenly went on. _Robbins...thanks god.._ she thought when she looked at it and then back at Izzie.

"Robbins needs me. I..I..I need to go." she meant quickly and walked out the door before Izzie could answer.

* * *

"There you are! Doctor Grey!" Arizona called through the hallways when she saw Lexie coming through the door to peds. Alex turned around and suddenly it got really cold.

"What is **she** doing here?" Alex whispered to Arizona and pointed on Lexie.

"I paged her. I needed someone who I can trust." she meant and Alex tried to stay calm when Lexie stopped next to him. She also heard her inner voice screaming but tried to look confident.

"Doctor Grey...You and I are flying to the Dillard hospital to get a heart for Bryan Jones. I need doctor Karev to stay here and check his vitals and call me if something changes and to look after my other patients. Can you please do this?" Arizona explained and Lexie nodded. "And doctor Karev?" she said still mad of his thoughts about peds. "You are going to care for every patient and do whatever they want okay?"

"Okay." he meant quietly.

"Doctor Grey? We´re starting in 30 minutes." Arizona meant and left the two behind.

"You didn´t tell her." Lexie said looking down at her shoes.

"Did you?" Alex asked also not looking at her but noticing that she shook her head. "Did you tell him?" she again shook her head trying to avoid crying right now. Alex nodded.

"So that´s it? We´ll leave it like that? Nobody will know and we will carry this burden with us?" she asked ignoring the lump in her throat which caused that she sounded really high.

"Well, I think that´s how it goes." he answered and left her. Lexie looked up on the ceiling taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. She ran into the intern´s locker room and opened the locker to pack some stuff now letting the tears stream down her cheeks.

"Lexie?" Meredith asked when she showed up behind the lockers.

"Mer!" Lexie meant and hid her face behind the locker´s door.

"You want to talk about it?"

"I don´t know what you´re talking about."

"You do. Because I know it. Alex told me last night." When Meredith said these words Lexie felt how the huge wave of sorrow and guilt came over her and she started crying out loud. Meredith noticed it and immediately went to her to hug her. Lexie replied the hug and said how sorry she was.

"I know. I know." her sister meant and stoke through her hair. They stood like that for a few minutes after Lexie calmed down and pulled away.

"I..I have to pack my things for the flight." she said sobbing.

"If you want to I can take over this job." Meredith offered but Lexie disclaimed it.

"It´s okay. I can take this. Just make sure that neither Mark nor Izzie will find out. I will tell them." Lexie said and Meredith nodded. Then they gave a quick hug before Lexie left.

* * *

"I heard that it was actually your free day...but why are you at the hospital?" Arizona asked after the plane took up.

"I wanted to check Izzie." Lexie replied while looking out of the window. She hated flying and that she didn´t talk to Mark made it even worse.

"I hate flying. I always feel closer to death on a flight than in the o.r." Arizona admitted smiling but Lexie didn´t react. "That´s why I called Callie before we took off. Did you call Mark?" she asked. Lexie fought with her tears and tried not to show that she´s crying. "To say him that you love him?" Arizona continued and leaned over to see Lexie´s reaction and noticed that she was crying. "Oh god. I´m...so sorry. Did I say something wrong?" she asked and the intern shook her head.

"Can you keep a secret?" she sobbed and the attending nodded. "I didn´t call Mark because I can´t talk to him...I feel so ashamed and guilty..."

"Why?" the blond one asked and put her arm around Lexie to comfort her.

"Alex...he...he kissed me...yesterday..." Lexie cried and Arizona´s eyes opened wide.

"He did what?" she asked shocked. "He´s such a dick." Lexie laughed when Arizona said that and stopped crying.

"Yeah he is...just could you please don´t tell anybody? I want to tell my boyfriend first." Lexie explained and Arizona nodded.

* * *

Christina and Meredith met on the hallway and went together to Izzie´s patient room.

"Did evil spawn tell her?" Christina asked and Meredith shook her head.

"I don´t know. But Lexie told me not to tell Izzie so I think she doesn´t know yet. Just don´t mention it." she answered. For a minute it was silent. "Derek wants to have children." Meredith admitted and Christina looked at her surprised.

"And you?" she asked.

"I don´t know. I mean he´s a good father for sure but I? What if I´m like my mother?" she explained and Christina giggled.

"You won´t be. You and Derek would pamper your kids. I am the one who would teach them right." Christina joked.

"You will be a good godmother." Meredith giggled and they laughed and said funny names till they reached Izzie´s room where Alex was sitting and she was holding her hand over her mouth.

"I think he told her." Christina meant serious.

"We should leave them alone." Meredith meant before grabbing her best friend´s hand and turning around leaving.

"Again..." Izzie said looking at her hands.

"It was yesterday night. I was terrified and sad. She was there and tried to comfort me. I couldn´t stop crying so she kissed me. I stopped her immediately. She wanted to do it again but I left. I´m so sorry I didn´t tell you earlier but I had to deal with it. " Alex explained. "Izzie I love you and I would never cheat on you. I don´t know what she thought by doing this but I-"

"But that doesn´t make any sense." Izzie cut him off. "This girl is madly in love with Mark Sloan."

"I don´t know why she did it. Important is that you know that I didn´t want it and that I stopped it as soon as my brain noticed what just happened." Alex explained and his girlfriend nodded. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before telling him that he should leave her alone.

"But I-" he tried to defend himself but she showed him with her hand to stop.

"Please. I need to think about it." she meant and he nodded while leaving the room.

* * *

"Doctor Stevens? Hey I don´t want to disturb you. Do you know where Lexie is?" Mark asked when he entered Izzie´s room who had red eyes of crying.

"Why should I?" she asked angrily and Mark got confused.

"Well, because she meant she would be here at the hospital to check you." Mark explained but Izzie had to chuckle.

"If she had been here the last 20 minutes I would have probably killed her." Izzie said and Mark wondered why she was so angry.

"Um...why?" he asked not prepared for what came next.

"Because she kissed my boyfriend. She kissed Alex last night."


	17. 17

**A short chapter but hopefully the emotions I wanted to put into a normal length of the chapters is now compressed on the short length. Hope you like it though.**

 **Love ya!**

* * *

"Damn it Lexie! Answer your freaking phone!" Mark yelled into his phone angrily and with tears in his eyes. He went down the hallway to the attending´s locker room without paying attention on his way. He already tried it ten times to call her. On his way he looked in every on-call room if she is making out with Alex. When he finally entered the locker room he tried it the eleventh time while going through the room nervously. When she again didn´t pick up he threw his phone against the wall and of course it got damaged.

"Fuck!" he cried and sat down on the couch putting his face in his hands. Suddenly Derek entered the room and found his best friend crying. After a second of surprise he sat down next to him without saying a word because he knew sometimes it´s better to say nothing and just be there.

"Lexie she...she kissed Alex Karev." Mark cried and Derek shook his head shocked.

"What? Why should she do this?" he asked and Mark answered that he didn´t know.

"She is the love of my live...I...don´t know what to do without her." Mark explained sobbing and Derek tried to work out any explanation why she should cheat on him.

"Who told you this?"he asked after some seconds.

"Izzie Stevens. Alex told her." Mark replied when he finally calmed down and wiped away the last tears. _Alex wouldn´t lie to Izzie. He loves her. But Lexie loves Mark too. Maybe Meredith knows more..._ Derek thought.

"Mark, I have to go see for a patient. If you need anything-"

"I know. You´re here for me." Mark cut him off and gave him a weak smile. Derek replied the smile and left the room after a soft clap on his back. As soon as he left the room he saw Meredith and Christina walking through the hallways.

"Mer!" he called her and ran towards her.

"There´s the daddy..." Christina joked and both laughed quietly.

"Can I please talk to you for a second." he asked when he reached them.

"Oh you can talk about your wish for babies in front of Christina. I don´t have secrets from her." Meredith meant smiling.

"Well, that´s nice but I have secrets from her so could you please come with me?" Derek said seriously. Christina understood and left them. Just when Derek wanted to start talking Bailey came interrupted them.

"I´m sorry. Doctor Grey we need you now. It´s the patient from yesterday. The one with the pancreatic abscess. He got a heart attack. You have to come now!" she meant quickly and pulled Meredith aside. Derek looked at her like someone died.

"Mer. It´s serious!"Derek claimed.

"I´m...I´m sorry but the patient...tell me later!" she meant already walking and leaving her fiance behind.

* * *

"We´re here!" Arizona meant when the plane stopped rolling.

"Great." Lexie meant and watched Arizona turning off the flight mode on her phone.

"I´m going to write Callie a message. You could call Mark too." she smiled and started typing. Lexie decided to do it and turned on her phone. As soon as it was ready she saw eleven missed calls from Mark. Immediately she felt the lump in her throat coming up. She called him back but the mail box came after a second.

"Lexie? We need to go!" Arizona called and pointed on the cab that waited for them. Lexie hang up and followed the order of the attending.

"Hello doctor Robbins!" the chief of Dillard greeted her.

"Hello doctor Schuster. That´s doctor Lexie Grey she´s an intern at the Seattle Grace." Arizona introduced Lexie.

"Grey? Are you related to Ellis Grey?" Schuster asked snoopy.

"No not really. My half sister is her daughter. We just have the same father." Lexie explained.

"Well, at least you´re related to Ellis Grey´s daughter." the other doctor said laughing and Lexie gave him a fake laugh just as Arizona. "Okay so let us go. The heart doesn´t wait any longer."

* * *

"Evil spawn!" Christina shouted through the hallway giggling.

"Yang!" he meant annoyed.

"I saw you confessing your trip into Lexie´s mouth to Izzie." Christina said when she reached him.

"Well...yeah..." he lied.

"Everything´s alright?" she asked him suspicious.

"Yeah..." he replied

"God...what did you tell her?" Christina wanted to know when she pulled him away.

"Nothing! It´s alright she knows the...the truth." Alex protested.

"And what was the truth to you?" Christina asked and he looked down at his shoes. "Alex!" she meant and slapped him. "What did you say?"

"Maybe that she kissed me and not the other way round." he confessed. Christina was shocked.

"Excuse me? Lexie is the most innocent girl I´ve ever seen. Why couldn´t you tell her the real truth when you botched it up?" she asked while putting her hand on her forehead. "Does Mer know?"

"No!" Alex whispered angrily "And you won´t tell her! She doesn´t need to know what I told Izzie. It´s none of your business."

"Ha! You´re right it´s not but if I was you I would tell Izzie the truth soon." Christina meant serious but Alex showed no understanding.

"Why should I? I told her first and she will believe me more than an intern. And now leave me alone!" Alex meant and pulled his hand out of her´s.

"Son of a bitch!" she shouted after him and tried to cover the anger that came up.

* * *

"Fuck." Mark cursed when he picked up the pieces of his phone noticing that it wasn´t able to do anything. "I need to go to a shop." he thought loud and because it was still his free day he did it. At the shop he met Callie and wondered what she did here so he asked.

"I wanted to buy a phone case for Arizona with a picture of us on it. Her birthday is in two weeks. And what are you doing here?" his best friend asked smiling.

"I crashed my phone. Did Arizona find something out?" he asked trying to cover that he already knew the truth – well he thought it was the truth.

"Well, she didn´t tell me yet but they will be back in a 3 hours or so. She just landed." Callie meant noticing that something´s wrong. "Hey...don´t worry! I´m sure nothing bad happened. She just stressed because of Izzie and the surgeries."

"If you say so.." Mark replied annoyed and put the pieces of his phone on the cash desk to show the problem.

* * *

"Mer! Meredith! Something bad happened!" Christina disturbed Meredith when she tried to bring her patient who got a heart attack to the o.r. wing.

"Christina I can´t right now! Please tell me later." she tried to get rid of her.

"Mer...it´s really bad." Christina asserted.

"Christina! This patient got a huge heart aneurysm. I don´t have time to discuss something with you." Meredith meant now mad.

"Heart aneurysm?" Christina asked interested. "I´m going to go in with you."

"No you don´t!" Bailey said also annoyed from her.

"Doctor Bailey...I will be quiet. And doctor Altman will need a resident who knows what she does. And let us be honest: Grey is neuro or general but not cardio." Christina explained smiling.

"Christina!" Meredith meant shocked.

"She´s right Grey. Yang you come with us." Bailey said only stop Christina from begging. Meredith raised her eyebrows but they already continued their way to the o.r. wing.

"Mer...Alex...he didn´t tell her." Christina whispered when they put on their scrub caps.

"What?" she asked confused.

"He lied. He told her that Lexie kissed him. And now she thinks that it was Lexie´s fault." Christina explained.

"He´s such a jerk!" Meredith said mad and Christina nodded.

"Okay let´s get the aneurysm out of this man´s chest!" Teddy Altman said when she and the residents and Bailey entered the o.r.

* * *

"Okay here´s your heart." doctor Schuster meant and put it into a bowl.

"I´m glad that the boy got this opportunity. He´s really weak." Arizona meant and came closer with the cool box.

"Doctor Robbins? Someone wants to talk to you." a nurse meant when she entered the o.r.

"Can´t it wait?" she asked.

"They said immediately." the nurse replied and Arizona nodded.

"Doctor Grey? Can you please take this over?" she asked as she turned to Lexie.

"Really? I? I´m just an intern and and and..." Lexie stuttered.

"Doctor Grey. You can do this." she comforted her and Lexie nodded taking the cool box and watching Arizona leaving.

"Who is it?" Arizona asked as she took off her gloves.

"Doctor Colombani." the nurse whispered and pointed on the door.

"Professor of pediatrics at Hopkins?" she asked surprised and the nurse nodded. Arizona´s eyes opened wide and she looked through the window where she saw the man and a woman. She put of her her scrubs and scrub cap and went outside.

"Doctor Arizona Robbins." Colombani meant happily and reached out his hand. Arizona shook it and smiled.

"Doctor Paul Colombani." she giggled and they went into an empty conference room. "What is a man like you doing here?"

"Well, I am here because we met a new chief for pediatrics since you left us." he smiled. "And then I saw at the chart that you´re in here and as you know you can come back to us any time."

"Paul you know..I´ve got the job at Seattle Grace now." Arizona explained.

"Yeah but we could offer you a higher content." he tried to convince her.

"It´s not just what I earn it´s...I already made friends and..." she started but couldn´t continue.

"And found love? Well, you can think about it. We would pay for the move and you would get your old position. At least think about the offer." he meant before shaking her hand and leaving. _What should I do? I can´t leave Calliope...But maybe she wants to go with me? God this is so damn hard..._ Arizona thought and walked through the room.

"Doctor Robbins?" Lexie asked as she knocked at the door. "We´re ready."

"Okay...great...well done." she stuttered with her thoughts anywhere but at the heart."Let us go. Bryan doesn´t need to wait longer for playing soccer." As she said they did. Soon they were sitting in the plane back to the Seattle Grace.

* * *

"Okay Mark what happened?" Callie asked when Mark left the shop.

"What are you doing here? Have you been waiting here since you left twenty minutes ago?" he asked confused.

"Well, I grabbed a coffee but you seemed strange and you´re my best friend so..." Callie explained and Mark looked at his shoes.

"She cheated on me..." he murmured.

"What?" she asked shocked.

"She cheated on me! She kissed Alex! I...I don´t know ...I..." Mark meant trying to avoid crying on the street. Callie immediately hugged him when she noticed it and said that everything´s going to be alright.

"God she didn´t seem like she would do something like that. I mean she looked innocent and cute and her ass was like...an apple." she explained and gestured with her hands.

"Callie you´re not making it better..." he said a little bit mad.

"Sorry..." she admitted. "I´m so sorry Mark. You don´t deserve this."

"I know...nobody does."

* * *

"You son of bitch!" Meredith yelled through the hallway when she saw Alex.

"Sh...Izzie just fell asleep!" he meant when she ran towards him.

"How could you dare to tell such lies about my sister?" she shouted and Alex pulled her in the on call room on the other side.

"Cold you please be quiet?" he asked worrying about the truth coming up.

"You probably destroyed her wonderful relationship. They never had it easy because of me but now just when I accepted it you destroy it!" she whispered furious.

"I-I-I´m sorry but I don´t want to destroy my relationship!" he replied without showing any understanding.

"Alex! You can´t blame my sister for something you did wrong." she meant putting her hand on her forehead.

"I´m sorry Mer but I can´t change it now. It´s done...and-and I´m really sorry if it has consequences for Lexie but she has to find out how to fix them. It´s not my problem anymore." Alex explained confident.

"You are such an ass!" Meredith cursed before leaving him and finding Derek.

* * *

"Okay, now let´s implant this heart into Bryan´s chest!" Arizona meant happily when the plane landed and she and Lexie left it.

"Yes it was really rough. I hate flying...I´m always afraid of a plane crash and then to be stuck under a wing or something and dying...I now it´s silly because the chances that this happens are really small but it scares me..." Lexie admitted and immediately became goose bumps when she thought about it.

"Wow okay now I´m afraid too...hopefully this will never happen." Arizona giggled and so did Lexie.

"Okay let´s go i-" Arizona meant when her ringing phone interrupted her. "Seems important...Just go I´m coming in a few minutes." she meant and gave Lexie the cool box with the heart. She went in and immediately had the feeling that something was wrong. She went to the o.r. wing where she gave the box to the nurse. Arizona already informed everybody and so Bryan was already on the o.r. table and Alex scrubbed in. Lexie knew she wasn´t allowed to operate so she decided to fill in Bryan´s chart and wanted to check Izzie later. She got her first operation the next day.

"Doctor Grey! Thank you so much for doing this although it was your free day!" Arizona meant when she entered the o.r. wing and saw Lexie.

"No problem...it helped to do this and to...talk with someone I can trust...I don´t have a lot of friends." Lexie admitted.

"Oh come on...you´re a nice girl...don´t you have a lot of the interns on your side?" Arizona asked.

"Well, they are a little bit jealous because I get a lot of surgeries because I´m the best...and I had one...Sadie...but I didn´t see her for a long time here...maybe she changed the hospital...she never told me." Lexie explained and got a bit sad.

"Doctor Robbins? We´re waiting!" Alex shouted from the o.r. and Arizona nodded.

"I need to go...see you around." Arizona meant and left waving her hand. Lexie nodded and started to fill in the chart. After she finished it she decided to look into the o.r. and how it was going.

"Hey...is there something I can tell the mother yet?" she asked as she entered the operating room.

"Everything´s fine till now. I think we need about four more hours." Arizona meant and looked into the hole in the boy. Alex looked quickly at Lexie to see in her face if she already knew what he told his girlfriend or not. Of course she noticed it and wondered why he did it not knowing that she would find out soon.

"Okay then I will tell the mother that he´s doing well." she meant and left the o.r. to go to the waiting room and looked for the mother. After she told her that everything was fine and that he´s strong and so on she left to check Izzie´s vitals hoping she was sleeping and that she didn´t need to have an embarrassing conversation. She quietly entered the room and searched the monitors. Everything was okay. Only her blood pressure was a little bit too high though Izzie was sleeping. Lexie sat down in the chair next to her and noted everything.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Izzie asked huskily but as loud as she could.

"I´m sorry for waking you up...i just wanted to che-"

"leave now! You stupid bitch I don´t want to see you anymore!" Izzie yelled and Lexie was shocked

"I...I´m sorry did I miss something?" she asked worried and trying to avoid tears from coming up.

"I think I did...how can you dare to kiss my boyfriend?" Izzie answered mad and Lexie just shook her head.

"I didn´t kiss him...he kissed me...I...I would never do something like that...I love Mark and I would never do this to him or to you!" she defended herself but Izzie looked away not able to watch her friend searching for excuses.

"Enough! He would never lie to me and he would never kiss another girl. I have cancer and gave birth to his son 24 hours ago...He would never cheat on me...you´re just an adulterous whore!" Izzie explained. "And now leave me alone!" Lexie pressed her upper lip against her lower and tried to focus on something else than the lump in her throat. She stood up and went to the door but turned around before leaving and looked Izzie in the eyes.

"See, you can think of me what you want...and..and you can believe every lied word Alex says...but I´m anything but a whore!" she meant before finally leaving and running to the locker room where she changed her clothes crying before hopping into her car and driving home. When Lexie arrived she opened the main door and chose the elevator because she was really exhausted and just wanted to go to bed. Before she opened the front door she swiped away her tears and yawned. It was already dark outside and she couldn´t hold her eyes open anymore when she suddenly tripped over a bag. The noise she made woke Mark and he knew what he had to do now. He entered the living room where Lexie was sitting on the floor trying not to cry because of the pain. She hoped that he would sit down next to her and put her in the arms but he did nothing. He just stood there and looked at her. Lexie was a smart girl and put one and one together and knew that Mark also knew the lie Alex told Izzie.

"Whatever he told you I-"

"I want you to leave."

"What?"

"I want to be on my own tonight...I want you to sleep everywhere else but not here."

"Mark...it´s not the trut-"

"Go please. Now."

"Mark.." Lexie whispered when she stood up and looked him in the eyes. She could see the tears and that it was hard for him to say that. She also started to cry.

"In the bag there are some clothes and your toothbrush and something for at least a week...I don´t know how long I need you away from me so we will see..." He meant pressing his lips together to not cry out loud.

"Mark..." she cried and then a tear dropped down his face.

"Go! Now!" he said louder and pointed on the door.

"But where should I-"

"I don´t know...at your father´s, n a motel, in your car but not here!" Mark cried and Lexie nodded.

"Okay...I can´t believe you believe more in his words than in mine and I can only say that I love you and-"

"Lexie please...don´t make it harder than it is!" he begged coming closer and she stepped back.

"He lies...he kissed me...Mark! You have to believe me!" she claimed and went back until she suddenly stood on the hallway. "Mark please! I love you! Mark...mark don´t do this!" she said louder when he was about to close the door. "Don´t do this! You will regret it! Mark!Mark..." but the bolt already slammed into the lock.


	18. 18

The curtains were closed, the room was dark. Lexie laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling without moving. The thoughts about Mark, Alex, the kiss and the lies told about her ran through her head uncontrollable. _Was that the end of our relationship?_ Lexie thought while she felt the dried tears on her cheek. She cried so much that not even one tear came out of her eyes.

"Eileen!" Thatcher yelled from the kitchen. "Eileen come down...now!" he shouted switching the pitch of his voice.

"Eileen?" Lexie said to herself wondering why he called for her mother. She stood up slowly and opened the door to hear that he cursed because nobody replied. She went to the kitchen and saw her dad reeling.

"Dad?" she asked huskily and when he turned around she noticed the bottle of whisky in his hand only half full.

"Eileen!" he giggled happily and threw up his arms.

"Lexie...I´m Lexie...your daughter. Mom died two years ago...Are you drunk?" she wanted to know and looked at him disappointed.

"No she´s not! She´s standing in front of me! Shut up Eileen!" he yelled at his daughter.

"Dad! I´m not Eileen. I´m Alexandra Caroline Grey. I´m your daughter!" she tried to explain but Thatcher just shook his head.

"Shut up! You´re Eileen! You´re my wife!" he meant looking at the bottle. Lexie got mad.

"Dad! You were sober for like three months. What happened?" she asked loud.

"Shut up!" he yelled and suddenly Lexie felt his hand hitting against her cheek. She threw her head to the other side and tears came up when she felt the pain and realized what her dad just did – he slapped her.

"Oh my god..Eileen..I..didn´t want to hurt you...I.."

"It´s Lexie! I´m your daughter mom died...why are you drun-" and again Thatcher slapped his daughter but this time harder that she got a small cut on her cheek. The pain allotted through her whole body and her blood began boiling. She turned around and ran upstairs to get her bag which she fortunately didn´t unpack and ran to the door.

"Eileen! Wait! Please forgive me!" Thatcher shouted but Lexie just left the house by slamming the door close and sat down into her car. As she sat on the driver´s seat she let her tears stream down her face and took a tissue to stop the blood running out of the cut and examined if she needs to get sewed. After Lexie checked that sewing wasn´t necessary she searched for a band aid in the glove box but all she found was one with a pink Hello Kitty on it. She sighed and sniffed while putting it on the cheek and starting the engine after finishing her professional work and drove to the hospital in the hope to find Mark and tell him that everything was a big big misunderstanding.

* * *

"You did what?" Callie asked loud and mad.

"I´m tired...the surgery took longer than I wanted can you please let me sleep?" Arizona asked pretending to yawn but in fact only wanted to avoid this conversation.

"Not till you explain me how you thought this would work out!" Callie meant still loud and now pulling away Arizona´s blanket.

"What´s your Problem Calliope?!" she shouted back.

"My problem is that you told Colombani that you are going back at Hopkins!" Callie shouted at her girlfriend.

"But when he called me at the airport I told him only to go when they are having a job for you!" Arizona explained. "And they said they got one...so I don´t know why you don´t want to come with me."

"Because I don´t want to leave Seattle. I love my job and I love the Seattle Grace. And Mark´s here too." Callie told Arizona who just shook her head while standing up and looking her girlfriend in the eyes deeply.

"It´s the Hopkins. They pay you almost twice the money you get here. And it´s only a five hours flight. You can visit Mark."

"But it´s not the same! Now I need five seconds to him!"

"Calliope...I can´t understand how you can let this chance pass by."

"And I can´t understand how you can risk your relationship for a hospital you left for the Seattle Grace."

"So you won´t come with me? Even if it means that our relationship ends now?"

"Don´t turn it like I´m the one who ended it. You were it."

"So this is really the end?"

"What do you want more? The job at Hopkins without me or the job at Seattle Grace with me?"

"Calliope..."

"Wrong answer. Yes this is the end."

* * *

"Good morning.." Derek meant when Meredith woke up and turned around.

"Are you always watching women sleep?" she giggled and he smiled.

"Only when they are the love of my life." Derek explained and leaned over to kiss her. The kiss got more and more passionate and and Derek rolled onto his love when someone opened the door and stepped in without knocking. Quickly the couple looked at the person shocked.

"Cristina?" Meredith asked quite unhappy to see her now where Derek laid on her.

"Am I interrupting sex?" the woman asked not paying attention to Derek who rolled his eyes when going down from his fiance. "Are you already making babies?"

"I´m going to make breakfast." Derek whispered and gave her a quick kiss.

"Oh no you can stay. I need Mer to come with me. It´s important. About Evil Spawn.." Cristina explained showing with her eyes to leave the room. Meredith nodded and left the bed and went on the hallway with her best friend closing the door behind her.

"What´s up?" she whispered so Derek couldn´t hear them.

"We have to tell Izzie the truth!" Cristina immediately explained.

"But when we do that she will hate Alex. And she has surgery today...that´s not good." Meredith thought loud.

"Would you prefer her to hate your sister? We can´t lie to her." Cristina meant.

"I know...let us tell her after her surgery...that would be in seven hours...hearing about him..where´s Alex?" Meredith asked but Cristina shrugged. "Okay I will get ready and then we can drive to the hospital. Give me ten minutes." Cristina nodded and went upstairs to wait in the kitchen. In the meanwhile Derek came down still in his sleeping clothes, taking a bowl and pouring in some cornflakes. When he opened the fridge to take some milk he first smelled at it – and that was quite a good idea because she wasn´t eatable anymore. He noticed the milk next to Cristina who already ate cornflakes and when he reached out his hand to grab it she shook her head.

"Empty." she meant with her mouth full. Derek rolled his eyes again thinking what he did to earn that and put the cornflakes in his bowl back to the package.

"I´m going to eat something at work." he wanted her to know and went upstairs to change his clothes. In the meanwhile Meredith came down blowing him a kiss and left with her friend.

* * *

"Good morning doctor Karev." Bailey meant when he noticed him sitting by Denny. The man fell asleep and woke up by the voice of his attending.

"Good morning doctor Bailey." he answered rubbing his back.

"Izzie´s surgery start´s in a half hour. Don´t you want to wish her sweet dreams or something like that?" the small doctor asked not looking at and concentrating on the babies´ vitals.

"Yeah...in fact I wanted to go now...see you around." he said quickly and ran into his girlfriend´s room.

"Hey.." she greeted him huskily and he replied with a weak smile.

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked worried and Izzie smiled.

"Perfect.." she lied. "Bailey and Webber are going to check my liver today. They think the cancer spread there too."

"Can we please talk about something else?" Alex tried to change the topic.

"How´s Denny going?" she asked and Alex told her how strong he became and that he was a fighter. Izzie smiled and felt happy so he continued. _I shouldn´t have lied to her...she makes me happier than anything...But I would have lost her if I told her..._ Alex thought constantly. Only a few moments later and for the couple a few moments too soon Bailey, Webber and some other doctors came to prepare Izzie for the surgery. Alex hold her hand till the o.r. wing and kissed her for a good bye. Tears came up when he watched her bed rolling through the doors into the sterile zone. He quickly wiped them away when he heard Arizona calling him.

"Yeah doctor Robbins?" Alex sniffed when he turned around to see the blond woman coming to him – not smiling at all which never happened before.

"I need you to check my pre and post op patients." she meant and handed him out a dozen of charts.

"Can´t someone else do this? I´ve got enough to do." he tried to avoid making this work.

"Alex...I´m leaving...today... **I´ve** got enough to do. And I trust you...you are a good surgeon." Arizona whispered so nobody would pay attention to them.

"Like leaving for a trip or..."

"Forever...or at least a longer time. I´m going back at Hopkins."

"Hopkins? But that´s...why?" he wanted to know.

"They offered me a job and it´s a really good job..." she explained with tears in her eyes.

"Don´t get this wrong but when you´re not here who takes over the pediatric unit? I mean you´re nice...what if an asshole comes?" Alex worried.

"I´m sure Webber finds someone who´s also nice. And you are a good person Alex. You just need to show it." Arizona gave him a weak smile and he also had a little one on his mouth.

"I think you are the only one who thinks this. My only friends hate me."

"So it´s time that you believe it even more because you often make wrong decisions in life but the more you try to fix them the more you become a better person."

"So you´re giving me life lessons before leaving?" Alex joked.

"When you want a life lesson from me here it is: Never do something life changing without discussing it with your girlfriend. Never hurt her even if you thought it was a good idea. Or never do something that could cause the end of your relationship because once done you can´t change it. That´s the life lesson I give you on your way. And now hug me." Arizona taught him.

"What?" Alex asked surprised.

"Hug me. Because I´m going to start crying any second and I don´t want you to see it so hug me for a goodbye." Arizona meant holding back her tears and opening her arms so Alex could hug her and he really did though he wasn´t the hugging type of guy.

"Thank you." she whispered after pulling away a few seconds later and wiping away a tear before leaving him behind.

* * *

It was already lunchtime and Izzie´s operation was finished. She laid in her bed slowly opening her eyes to see Alex sitting next to her holding her hand and Bailey and Webber standing by her feet with a serious look.

"What did you find out?" Izzie asked sure to know the answer.

"The liver was as we expected also full with metastases. We took everything out but it will be a longer and more exhausting fight than we thought before." Bailey explained and Izzie nodded.

"Well, that´s good right? There are no more metastases in my liver right?" she tried to let the situation sound more appealing.

"Iz..." Alex meant shaking his head softly.

"No that´s fine...I know it´s bad and that the prognosis is bad but it´s not nothing." Izzie smiled but also cried. She and Alex talked for a while about something different than the cancer and Alex showed her pictures from Denny since she was to weak to see him. After a while when Izzie rested from her narcosis she wanted to go to the cafeteria so Alex helped her into a wheelchair and carried her to the cafeteria.

"Wait!" she said pulling the brake of the wheel chair when they were only meters away from the entrance doors. "I don´t want to go in. I don´t want them to see me so week."

"Should I bring you back to your room?" he asked carrying

"No...No...can you just please go in and take it? I don´t care which food you bring...but I don´t want to go in. I´ll wait here." Izzie said and Alex drove her to the side and gave her a kiss before entering the cafeteria.

* * *

In the meantime Lexie looked at her pager. She paged Mark now for dozens of times and he didn´t reply. After looking at the o.r. board, in the on-call rooms and through the whole ENT, burning and plastic units she was near the break down. Her head hurt and with all the stress she had the wound on her cheek didn´t stop bleeding and the Hello Kitty band aid was almost to weak to save the blood from running down her cheek. The girl went towards the cafeteria to get something to drink and to calm down. She tried holding back her tears when Derek came around the corner and she ran to him hoping he knew where his best friend would be.

"Derek! Do you know where Mark is?" she asked exhausted.

"Lexie see I don´t hate you for what you did because you´re now like a sister of mine but please leave Mark alone...he doesn´t deserve something like this." Derek replied and wanted to continue his way when Lexie took him by his hand and turned him around.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I´m talking about. Why did you kiss Alex when you were with Mark?"

"Why I...god...I didn´t kiss him! He kissed me!" Lexie yelled so everybody around looked at them. "He kissed me" she continued ignoring Derek´s face which showed her to stop "Alex kissed me...I did nothing...all I did was pushing him away and stopping him to do it again! I don´t know why he lies to everyone but I´m not the whore. He is!" she shouted and not till she stopped the true words coming out of her mouth she noticed that it was quiet around them and Alex stood by the doors of the cafeteria with a tray in his hand switching gaze between Lexie and something behind her. She looked at Derek who already looked down at his shoes and then again at Lexie.

"Izzie..." he whispered and Lexie looked around when her eyes stopped on the blond woman sitting in the wheelchair her brown eyes filled with tears. She lifted the brake and rolled away Alex following her by calling her name.

"Iz...Izzie! Please!" he cried giving Lexie a mad look so she wanted to die at this second.

"Oh my god what did I do?" Lexie asked herself.

"Well, you just told everyone in this hallway the truth." Derek answered and she looked at him with tears in the eyes. "But I don´t know if Mark will believe it too." he continued as he could read her mind.

"Do you know where he is? I could try it at least." she meant with a shaky voice and tears in her eyes.

"He´s not here. He´s at home said he was sick." her brother in law. Lexie nodded and because he told her now she thought he allowed her to see him so she went to her car and drove to Mark´s apartment.

* * *

"Izzie! We need to tell you something!" Cristina meant out of breath because Meredith and she ran to her room when they heard that her surgery ended long time ago. They found her sitting in her bed playing with her hands and not looking at them.

"Lexie didn´t kiss Alex...he kissed her." Meredith finally admitted and Izzie stopped playing with her hands and looked at them.

"You knew it? For how long?" she asked not understanding why her best friends didn´t tell her.

"Well, we...um...you already knew it?" Cristina stuttered and looked at Meredith who also was confused.

"Lexie yelled it through the hallway only a few minutes ago. Why didn´t you tell me?" she asked now with a mad undertone.

"We...Alex...he..he told us he would tell you...And then he meant that he told you something wrong...We...we didn´t want you to get nervous right before surgery so...we decided to tell you now." Cristina meant and wanted to sit down beside Izzie but she showed her clearly not to.

"When did he tell you?" she asked the twisted sisters.

"I think a few moments after it happened..." Meredith answered and Cristina boxed her into the side to show her that it didn´t help to tell her that they knew for so long.

"You knew it for two days and didn´t tell me?" Izzie asked loud and angry so her blood pressure got high.

"We...we thought that he told you...We´re sorry Iz but-"

"Stop! Go! I don´t want to see you know."

"Izzie...please..."

"I said now!" she shouted so the doctors and nurses outside looked at them.

"Of course." Cristina meant before closing the door behind her.

"Izzie...you can´t do this alone." Bailey meant when she came in.

"I want to rest now." she replied dryly and turned her head to the other side.

* * *

When Lexie finally arrived at Mark´s apartment she got afraid. _Will he understand? Will he let me in and talk to him or will he even open the door?_ She thought the whole time while waiting for the elevator. She became even more nervous as she stood in front of the door. After a few knocks at the door she waited but nobody opened her. The second time Lexie knocked also nobody came to open the door. With the hopeful thought to still have the key she searched in her bag and a few seconds later she found it. _Maybe this is a sign of the universe that he will believe me and I have to go in..._ Lexie thought but it would really have been better if she had left.

* * *

7 hours earlier:

"What do you want more? The job at Hopkins without me or the job at Seattle Grace with me?"

"Calliope..."

"Wrong answer. Yes this is the end." Callie meant looking into Arizona´s deep blue eyes and trying not to cry out loud.

"Calliope...Can we please talk about this?" Arizona begged also with tears in her eyes.

"I want you to leave my apartment...now!" Callie said with a shaky voice.

"But-"

"Now!" Callie shouted and couldn´t hold back the tears anymore. Arizona nodded and took her bag where she packed a few clothes she had here. Before leaving she turned around once again and watched Callie still standing in the same position with the back to her.

"I love you..." the blond woman meant and closed the door leaving Callie behind crying.

"I love you too..." she whispered though she knew Arizona couldn´t hear her anymore. Callie went to the kitchen and took out a bottle of vodka and a glass. She looked at the glass then at the bottle and decided that the glass was unnecessary and opened the vodka bottle and took a few sips. A few minutes later she was drunken and danced threw the apartment laughing loud.

"She thinks Hopkins is better than I am? Fine...she can go suck it!" she chuckled not noticing that her neighbor knocked at the door.

"Callie? Everything´s alright?" the male voice asked and though she was drunk she could recognize who it was.

"Markilein!" she shouted happily when she tripped towards the door and opened it to see Mark with red, glassy eyes standing in front of her wondering what she was doing. As she could read his mind she said, "Arizona left me...she went to Hopkins and left me...that´s fine for me..."

"I left Lexie...she kissed Alex and I throw her out of the apartment last night...that´s..really not fine for me.." Mark meant crossing his arms over his chest trying to avoid to cry again.

"Want some vodka?" Callie asked holding out the bottle. Mark nodded and came in taking the bottle and taking two huge sips.

"Argh...that´s hard stuff." he meant and drank a second time.

"You wanna talk?" Callie asked and Mark shook his head sitting down on the couch.

"You?" he asked but his best friend also shook her head and sat down next to him.

"You wanna get drunk?" Callie asked and Mark nodded. "Then...cheers." she continued and looked at Mark who replied her gaze and nodded.

"Cheers.." he meant and put the bottle a little bit higher and drank again this time longer and more sips. Only twenty minutes later they searched for another bottle.

"There it is..." Callie giggled and showed it to Mark who also laughed and throw himself on the couch again while the woman opened the bottle and sat down next to him with her legs on his thighs.

"Arizona is gone for 6 hours and I already miss the sex like hell..." Callie sighed after she made the first sips from the new bottle.

"I miss Lexie too...go our sex was so good.." Mark meant and grabbed the alcohol.

"Women are so complicated." Callie meant shaking her head and Mark nodded holding the bottle at his lips.

"It was so easy with us...just best friends having sex without romantic feelings or something like this crap." she noticed and Mark grinned.

"Yeah it was..." he remembered and looked at Callie who suddenly started laughing. "Why are you laughing at me."

"I´m not laughing at you...I just...it´s stupid.." Callie meant and took the bottle to drink.

"Tell me..." Mark begged.

"I thought that...maybe we could repeat it..." she admitted and watched Mark arching an eyebrow not saying anything. "I told you it was stupid." she quickly added and drank the vodka.

"No it isn´t...let´s do it!" Mark meant surprisingly so Callie nearly choked on the alcohol.

"What? Mark it was just a stupid one-second thought."

"But it´s a good idea. We are both kinda single and hot and horny...let´s do this Callie." Mark meant enthusiastically while his hand glided up and down her leg.

"You think that´s a good idea?" Callie asked unsure if it was Mark or the alcohol that spoke to her.

"Like you said...no feelings involved..." he meant leaning over to her. "Just..." he meant coming closer. "...hot and good..." he came even closer and stopped right in front of her lips. "...sex!" he meant and kissed her. Callie immediately replied the kiss and it got more and more passionate when they involved their tongues and Mark laid his muscular body on his best friend. An hour later Mark and Callie laid in her bed naked and giggling.

"That was good. Like really..good.." Callie smiled.

"Yeah...it...was..." Mark replied and stopped smiling. Of course Callie noticed it and looked at him.

"No, no, no, no! No! You´re not going to think about Lexie now. No! Stop!"

"I´m Sorry Cal...I need to go now."

"No! Mark! Mark stop!" Callie tried to grab his arm but failed and so he stood up and put on his boxer shorts. The two of them were still drunk so he wasn´t able to put on more clothes and went towards the door. Mark opened it, stepped outside and closed it behind him Looking on his feet.

"Mark?" a female voice asked and he looked up from his feet to find Lexie standing by his door with the key in her hand looking at his naked body.

"Lex." he replied quite shocked.

"What are you doing in Callie´s apartment...nake- oh my god." she realized what was going on.

"Lex..." he meant coming closer but she made one step backwards shaking her head.

"I really thought you changed...I thought I made you to a better person."

"Lexie please.." he wanted to grab her hand but she pulled it away.

"Don´t.." she meant before turning around and running down the staircase.

"Lexie!" he shouted after her but she couldn´t her him anymore – or didn´t want to hear him.


	19. Feelings are meant to be hurt

**Hey guys!**

 **So first of all thank you for 5k reads. I´m so happy, words can´t describe my happiness, and I just want you all to know how much this means to me. I began this as a story just for me to write it how I would have made it or just how I think it would have been great. I hope you guys still like it though – how I could see in the reviews – some of you weren´t happy about Mallie hooking up. I hope you guys won´t hate me for the way it will go on...just stay tuned and please be as active as you are now!**

 **Oh and I thought that from now on the chapters are called like song titles just as in Grey´s Anatomy.**

 **Love you**

 **Feelings are meant to be hurt  
**

Crying Lexie sat on the stairs to Meredith´s house when a car drove into the parking space in front of it.

"Lexie?" Meredith asked when she left the car and her sister looked up from her shoes into Meredith´s blue eyes. "What happened?" she wanted to know and sat down next to her.

"Mark...he...he.." Lexie cried and couldn´t finish her sentence because her voice cracked."It´s okay...you don´t have to tell me...come in you must be freezing." Meredith´s carrying words let Lexie nod and take her sister´s offered hand and stood up and entered the house behind her.

"Come in...you want to drink something? Tea, coffee, beer...tequila?" Meredith offered but Lexie shook her head saying nothing and sitting down on the couch.

"You want to talk about what happened?" she asked and sat down next to her and noticed the band aid on Lexie´s cheek. "Or why you got a pink Hello Kitty on your cheek?"

"It´s not important." Lexie replied sobbing and didn´t notice that the band aid didn´t stick anymore because of her tears.

"Why do you have a cut on your cheek Lexie?" Meredith asked now more serious.

"Like I said...it´s not important..." Lexie answered and looked down at her hands.

"You´re my little sister...everything that hurts you is important." Meredith gave her a comforting smile and Lexie looked at her but quickly on her hands again.

"It was...um..." Lexie bit on her lip nervously and Meredith arched an eyebrow. "It was...dad."

"What?! Oh my god Lexie what happened?" Meredith asked shocked.

"He...was drunk again...he thought I was my mother and I disclaimed it and then...he...he just slapped me." Lexie meant and started crying again while taking off the Hello Kitty and presenting Meredith the cut their dad caused.

"He slapped you?!" the blond one yelled furious and suddenly Alex showed up in the living room and it got quiet. He looked at the sisters with big worried eyes thinking it was Mark who slapped her and feeling a bit lump in size of a lemon in his throat. Lexie looked at him and could barely breathe and covered her face in her hands to not show her tears. Meredith, who was still mad at Alex for lying to Izzie showed him with a soft shaking of her head and her eyes to leave and so he did and went back to his room.

"Why were you with dad?" Meredith asked when Alex was gone and after Lexie looked around if someone was still there she looked at her sister.

"Mark he...he threw me out of the apartment..he believes I kissed Alex not the other way. I tried to tell him today that it´s a lie but he...he just...he had..." Lexie wanted to say but burst out into tears.

"Oh.." Meredith meant overstrained. "It´s okay...everything´s going to be okay."

* * *

Alex sat on the edge of his bed looking on a ultra sound picture of Denny. His lips were pressed together and tears were welling up his eyes.

"I love you Iz...please forgive me.." he thought loud with a shaky voice. "I can´t live with you...please forgive me..I´m so sorry for being a jerk and kissing Lexie...please forgive me...please forgive me..please forgive me.." he repeated again and again.

* * *

Izzie laid in the patient´s bed looking a a picture of Denny on her phone and pressed her lips together to not make loud noises while crying.

"Why did he do this?" he thought loud. "Why did he kiss Lexie? Why is he such a jerk? I can´t forgive him...he didn´t change since the day we first met...I thought I was the only woman he could live with...I can´t forgive him...I can´t forgive him...but I want...but I can´t.." she repeated again and again.

* * *

"Doctor Webber?" Bailey asked knocking at his office door while opening it. All she saw was the elderly man who sat over a big amount of papers and rubbed his forehead.

"I wanted to talk to you about Isobel Stevens." the small doctor explained shyly coming closer. "As we saw in the surgery today the cancer has spread into her liver. More operations and treatments are necessary than we thought before. She can´t afford this. I wanted to asked if we can do some of them pro bono."

"Doctor Bailey...do you see these papers on my desk in front of me?" Richard asked with his typical look and she nodded a little bit afraid. "All these are bills...bills over bills over bills. I recently lost the head of the pediatric unit and other doctors are going as well. We don´t have the money to do something pro bono."

"But-"

"No! I don´t know what we can do anymore to change this. Did you know that we´re number 12 of the best hospitals? Number 12! We´ve got the best neuro surgeon and the best plastic surgeon here and we´re 12th!"

"12th? And why? What can we change?" Bailey asked surprised.

"I..I don´t know...I think we have to cut off some of the program and some saving...hopefully we don´t need a fusion with another hospital." Webber meant leaning back into his chair and rubbing his eyes. "I´ve been here the whole night thinking about the situation and I´ve got a meeting with the employee representation later that day...I hope our plan will work out without...without losing to many doctors."

"A fusion? With which hospital?" Bailey worried and played with her fingers nervously.

"Forget it...that won´t happen...I´m going to talk with the employee representation about Stevens surgeries and treatments. You can go now." Webber replied and concentrated on the bills again while the attending went towards the door. "Oh Miranda?" he asked suddenly and the woman turned around. "Please don´t tell anybody about what I told you...they should concentrate on saving lives and not worry about our financial situation." Bailey nodded and left the office. Once the door was closed she sighed and closed her eyes. _Cut someone off of the program...fusion with another hospital..number 12...This doesn´t sound good..._ Miranda Bailey thought and went to the attending´s locker room after opening her eyes again.

* * *

The ringing door bell woke Mark up. Immediately he felt the consequences of last nights drinking – a hangover. Holding his eyes closed because of the sun light he went to the windows and closed the curtains and could open his eyes but the headache didn´t disappear. Slowly he left the bedroom and it knocked on his door again.

"I´m coming." he said quiet and went to the door and opened it. Derek – who was the one who stood in front of his door – raised his eyebrows when he saw his half naked best friend standing there like a sack flour.

"Hard night hu?" he asked sarcastically and Mark turned around and sat down on the couch holding his head while Derek came in and went to the kitchen to bring him a glass with water. "Everything´s alright with you?" Derek wanted to know when he gave him the glass and saw the red and swollen eyes of his best friend.

"I don´t know why she´s mad at me." Mark suddenly said louder and mad.

"Who?" Derek was confused.

"I mean she did it first...and it was over so why not?" he continued obviously talking to himself.

"I have no clue about what you´re talking." Derek admitted still confused.

"I slept with her. And it was great...like really great. And she kissed another man. That´s totally fine. I broke up so why is she upset?" Mark explained still a little bit drunk.

"Wait...so you...no I still don´t understand."

"Lexie caught me and Callie having sex and now she´s upset. But she has no reason why because she was the first one who cheated so I´m out of it."

"You did what?!" Derek asked shocked.

"It´s not unusual to be friends with benefits."

"But not during a relationship!"

"We don´t have one. She showed it to me the second she kissed Alex!"

"She didn´t kiss him!" Derek explained still shocked. Mark was silent for a second till he meant that Derek would say it just because he was against this sex controlled friendship with Callie.

"No...she didn´t kiss him. Alex lied to Izzie. He kissed her and Lexie pushed him away one second later. She was saying the truth the whole time. Mark...you were the one who first cheated." Derek recognized and Mark tried to deal with his thoughts running uncontrollable through his head.

"So she did nothing?"

"Nothing more then pushing him away and being tortured by the rumors."

"Oh my god..." Mark meant and put his hand on his forehead while Derek nodded. "I have to talk to her."

"Mark I think it would be-"

"No! I need to go to work and tell er that I´m sorry and that I didn´t know better than believing the rumors." he interrupted Derek and stood up to find the keys to his car.

"Mark you´re drunk! You can´t drive."

"I don´t care!"

"Mark! Stop! I will drive you."

"Thank you. You are really my best friend."

As soon as they arrived at the hospital Mark ran to the intern´s locker room but couldn´t find his girlfriend. He wanted to run to the cafeteria when Derek grabbed his hand and stopped him.

"Come with me." he meant and pulled him into an empty patient room where he forced him to lay down in the bed. He gave him an infusion so he would be sober sooner.

"Lexie has problem´s with an alcoholic dad...she doesn´t need her boyfriend to be drunk."

"You´re right...just as always." Mark grinned and Derek shook his head smiling softly and then paged Lexie because of a `emergency´.

* * *

Callie woke up still naked covered in her sheets with a strong headache.

"Uh...ouch..." she meant pressing her eyebrows together and closing her eyes to avoid the sunlight from making the pain even more. She sat down on the edge of her bed stroking through her hair and trying to keep everything in her stomach when she felt the need to throw up. Her hand on her mouth she tried stopped breathing for a few seconds when she finally sighed. But only one second the feeling was back and this time she ran to the toilet. She was almost too late when she threw up into it. After finishing this disgusting produce she sat down next to the toilet with her knees pulled to her body and holding her head with her arm.

"I will never drink again." Callie promised herself. After a while of sitting on the floor she finally stood up and went to the kitchen where she drank a glass of cold water to refresh her throat. After a little cough she leaned against the table and remembered what last night was going on.

"Oh my god." she said suddenly when she realized with whom she slept. Immediately she put on a shirt and went to the other side of the hallway and knocked on Mark´s door. Nobody opened her and of course she had an extra key and entered the apartment but all she found was a empty bedroom and glass on the couch table. She left the building and took a cab to the hospital because she was still too drunk for driving. Once arrived there she paged Mark who replied her that he was in the patient room 3653 and she went directly there.

"Hey.." she meant a bit embarrassed.

"Hey you.." he replied sleepy.

"Did you drive?" Callie asked worried.

"No Derek visited me and he drove...he´s searching for Lexie. She didn´t reply when he paged her." Mark explained and Callie nodded embarrassed.

"You remember what...happened...you know...yesterday?" she asked looking down at her shoes.

"I do..Well, kinda...some things I have a hangover so...but I remember it was great."he replied and Callie looked up to look in his beautiful eyes.

"Yeah it was.." she giggled and without noticing that she laid her hand on her best friend´s hand when suddenly the door opened and both Mark and Callie looked to it.

* * *

" _Good morning! Where are you?"_

" _ **I´m at the hospital. I drove to Mark´s because he didn´t appear to work and he´s drunk so I brought him here and gave him an infusion. Do you know where Lexie is? She doesn´t react to my paging and Mark wants to tell her that everything´s a big misunderstanding."**_

" _Yeah Lexie is here she came yesterday when you were at work and slept here. What kind of misunderstanding?"_

" _ **He thought she kissed Alex and that´s the only reason why he slept with Callie. But now he knows tha-"**_

" _He did what?!"_

" _ **Mer, please calm down. Just send me Lexie. She needs to know that."**_

" _Alright. I will drive her. We will be there soon."_

" _ **Fine. I love you."**_

" _Love you too."_ Meredith hang up and went to the guest room Lexie slept. After a soft knock on the door and Lexie allowing her to enter she came in and looked at her sister lying in bed and staring at the ceiling.

"Lexie..." she meant a bit worried but with a carrying voice. "I´m so sorry."

"So you know it?"

"Derek told me. You should come to the hospital Mark wants to talk to you."

"Did you know that the first time we ever had sex...the first time I´ve ever had sex...we laid like that only naked, staring at the ceiling, not talking and just breathing."

"Lexie.."

"I never knew sex could be so good. I mean I have heard of it. How great it was and what kind of things were especially good and this and that. But nobody told me how overwhelming sex could be. Or maybe they just never had the best sex in their life."

"Lexie..."

"It´s okay Mer...it´s fine...I´m ready in ten minutes."

After Lexie got ready they drove with Meredith´s car to the hospital where Derek already waited.

"Hey." he greeted the sisters by kissing Meredith and giving Lexie an encouraging smile. "He´s in patient room 3653 if you want to visit him. He wants to talk to you and to explain why and you know..." Lexie nodded going to the patient room slowly. She didn´t want to hurry because first she didn´t want to breathe heavily and second she wanted to seem fine and as it wouldn´t bother her which of course was a big lie. When she finally arrived there she took a deep breath and wiped away a tear which came out during her way. She slowly opened the door a bit, happy that Mark wanted to talk to her but the happiness disappeared the second she saw Callie sitting by him with her hand on his. She nodded when the two looked at her.

"Lexie.." Mark said but it sounded like a question. She turned her head away to not show her tears and now they noticed that their hands touched. Quickly Mark pulled his way and tried to stand up but failed as he was too tired and dizzy.

"I gotta go." Callie meant and stood up and left the room.

"Lexie.."

"Even in the hospital you can´t stop touching this...mean...jealous...lesbian...hot..best friends of yours?" she immediately shouted when the door was closed again.

"I didn´t... I didn´t notice...but Lexie please...you have to believe me..I really thought it happened like Izzie told me...please believe me."

"Believe? Why should I believe to you when you trusted a woman you hardly know more than your girlfriend? You should have listened to me when I wanted to tell you everything. But you just threw me out of the apartment, believing every lied word and letting me sleep at my dad´s who slapped me **twice** because I explained to him that my mom died two years ago!" Lexie yelled while crying and watching Mark getting even more nervous and feeling sorrow and sadness.

"He slapped you?" he wanted to know quiet while looking at his shoes.

"Why do you think I have this cut? Because I cut myself while shaving? Yes he slapped me." Lexie cried and her legs could barely hold her because she was tired because she had two nights no sleep and because she was exhausted of having the love of her life not around.

"I´m so sor-"

"Don´t say it! Just don´t say it." Lexie meant and went towards the door.

"Lexie please! You are the love of my life! I can´t survive without you!"

"That´s the problem. I can´t live without you anymore like I learned the past two days. But you clearly showed me that you **can** survive without me." Lexie meant leaving Mark behind who hardly could keep the tears in his eyes.

* * *

"So wait...Mark slept with Callie? But why?" Meredith whispered when she and Derek went from to the neuro surgical unit.

"He thought Lexie cheated on him and he was drunk and so he and Callie did it...I don´t know why he thought this was a good idea but you know Mark." Derek answered quietly so nobody heard them and no new rumors would be told in the hospital.

"That´s why I didn´t want them to have something. Because I knew he would hurt her." Meredith meant and hold her forehead with her hand. "But I´m afraid Lexie will go back to him."

"Why?" he asked her and looked at his love.

"This morning she told me how good the sex was..."

"Oh Mer please...I don´t want to know that."

"Sorry...but that´s why I think she will go back to him and act like nothing happened."

"Probably...but let´s see and not worry. At least she´s an adult and smart. She will know what to do."

"But she´s also my kid sister."

"Come on Mer...we have to worry about something different...Did you made an appointment with your gyn?"

"Derek...we´ve got all time of the world."

"So you didn´t?"

"I will call her as soon as her practice opens."

* * *

"Good morning doctor Stevens. My name is Camille Davis and I´m your oncologist." an Afro-American woman in red scrubs introduced herself and continued after Izzie gave her a weak fake smile. "Today´s the first day of your treatment. We wanted not to do a straight chemo but to do a new therapy called interleukin 2. It´s similar to a chemotherapy but we think it will work better on you."

"Okay...I heard of it so I know what it is about...when is the first session?"

"We first wanted to make sure if you´re in the right condition...You gave birth to a baby only a few days ago and...well, I also heard the rumors about-"

"My love life does not affect my treatments." Izzie explained harsh. "And I rested after the birth of Denny. We can start today."

"I also wanted to make sure that you have someone who supports you during the procedure." Davis explained worried as she saw Izzie looking at her hands and knowing that she lost her friends by being so disrespectful.

"She has me." a female voice behind the oncologist appeared and when she stepped aside Izzie saw Bailey and had to smile a bit. "She has me to support her."

* * *

" _This is the voicemail of Arizona Robbins. Please leave a message I´ll call you back."_ Callie heard when she called her ex.

"Arizona please...pick up!" she begged.

"Hey..what´s up?" Mark asked when he came closer.

"Nothing I just...what happened? Did you cry?" Callie noticed worried.

"What...no I...I didn´t..." Mark lied but felt detected by Callie´s eyes. "I did..."

"So...the chat with Lexie was..."

"She left me...this time it´s really over." Mark pressed his lips together.

"Mark I´m so sorry...I...never wanted to cause that." Callie swore and put her hand on his shoulder.

"It wasn´t you...It was me...everything that happened was my fault."

"But I said that we should...you know...do it" Callie meant and tried to make him look in her eyes and to convince him that it wasn´t his fault.

"No...she´s right...I should have believed her and I didn´t..." Mark explained and couldn´t stop his tears from streaming down his cheeks. Callie put her arms around him and hold him in a hug for a few seconds after he pulled away and wiped away the tears.

"Thank you Callie..." he meant and she gave him a soft smile and nod before he went to the restroom to cool down his face. He leaned his arms against the sink and and took a deep breath when suddenly someone came out of the cabinet.

"Oh good morning doctor Sloan!" the man greeted Mark who looked into the mirror and after a he blinked a few times he recognized who it was.

"Good morning doctor Hunt!" he replied trying to make his voice sound normal and not shaky. An awkward silence filled the air while Owen washed his hands.

"Do you have some interesting surgeries today?" Owen asked and dried his hands.

"Not that I know." Mark replied not looking him in the eyes.

"I can finally start to operate again. My hand is healthy and I hope some interesting cases will enter the e.r." Owen explained smiling but Mark didn´t reply. Owen raised his eyebrows and wondered why his college acted so strange. "Well, then...doctor Sloan." he meant and nodded.

"Doctor Hunt." he replied as a good by and watched the trauma surgeon leaving the restroom.

"Owen! Owen!" Cristina called her boyfriend when she saw him leaving the restroom.

"Cristina!" he replied smiling and kissed her after she ran to him.

"Guess what...Altman has a big heart aneurysm and she lets me operate it." she meant happily.

"She lets you...wow that´s great...have fun." Owen answered surprised.

"And you? You can operate today...do you have some cases."

"I was just on my way to the e.r. maybe I´ll find something. Or better someone." he replied joking.

"Cristina!" Teddy Altman yelled from the door to the cardio-toracic unit.

"I´m coming!" she replied turning her head towards Teddy then back to Owen. "Wish me good luck..though I don´t need it." she kissed him and ran happily to Teddy.

"Good luck!" he called after her grinding.

* * *

"Good morning Rose. Are there any cases?" Owen asked when he entered the empty emergency room.

"Not yet." the nurse answered and did some office work.

"I´m also waiting for some cases." Callie meant sitting on a chair. "I need to get my head off all the problems and a surgery would be great. But I think the e.r. won´t get any interesting things. God I need a broken hip or some other bone things."

"Don´t say that. You just cursed the telephone. I swear by god that´s only the silence before the storm." Owen worried and rubbed his forehead.

"Oh please...that´s crap.." Callie joked and Owen shrugged.

"We will see...but if it happens I can only say that I tol-"

"Stop! It won´t happen...it will be a smooth, easy da-" Callie said when suddenly the phone rang. The doctors watched the nurse answering the phone.

"Seattle Grace emergency room what can I do for you?" Rose asked nervous. "Mhm...okay...we will be prepared." she replied before hanging up. Both Callie and Owen looked at her with asking eyes hoping it won´t be something bad.

"Multiple crash...The first victims will be here in 10 minutes. We can expect to be full." Rose explained while carrying a car with supplies out of the storage room. Owen sighed and Callie let her head fall into her hands.

"I told you." Owen meant and earned a mad look from Callie. "Okay guys page ortho, neuro, general and plastics we can expect a lot of damage." Owen shouted and Rose immediately paged everyone Hunt asked for. Quickly the doctors and nurses prepared the e.r. and only moments afterwards the first paramedics arrived and brought the patients into the hospital. In the meantime the Meredith, Cristina and their interns joined their colleges and ran out into the rain to get the best cases.

* * *

"50 year old male, driver. Was stuck in his car, flatlined in the ambulance once. Abdomen is hard maybe free fluid." one of the paramedics explained and Meredith and Cristina looked at each other.

"General. It´s your´s!" Cristina meant and ran with her interns to another ambulance.

"Okay go!" Meredith meant and she and her interns entered the e.r. with the patient.

"Is Lizzy there? Where´s Lizzy?" the man asked worried.

"Who´s Lizzy?" Meredith asked stressed.

"She´s my...ahh.." the man wanted to reply when he suddenly flatlined again.

"Okay guys faster!" Meredith yelled.

"14 year old female, passenger. Is pregnant in the 8th month, her water broke in the ambulance. Irregular heartbeats we couldn´t hear a fetal heartbeat." the paramedic from the other car meant.

"Cardio! Mine!" Cristina shouted when some other residents went outside.

"Where´s Leo? Where is he?" the girl asked.

"Is Leo your boyfriend?" Lexie asked carrying and the girl nodded while some tears streamed down her face.

"Okay...we will find him. What your name honey?" she wanted to know and smiled.

"Lizzy...my name´s Lizzy."

"Okay."

* * *

"Doctor Grey? What´s the problem?" Bailey asked when she entered the trauma room and a nurse put her on a yellow lab coat and gloves.

"He got free fluid in his abdomen...I think the liver...or maybe the colon...I..I don´t know it´s-"

"You don´t know?" Bailey asked shocked watching her resident trying to concentrate on the ultra sound.

"Well...it´s kinda all smashed together.." she meant and Bailey came closer to see that all abdominal organs laid over another and not on the place they actually should be."

"Oh god..." Bailey said quietly and both doctors looked at the ultra sound.

"1,2,3.." Cristina shouted before the put the girl on the bed in trauma room 2.

* * *

"What´s up Yang" Teddy Altman asked when she entered the trauma room.

"Irregular heartbeats and the baby´s heartbeat can not be found. We should page the gyn or peds shouldn´t we?" Yang explained and Teddy ordered to page the peds. Then she tried to hear the girl´s heartbeats with her stethoscope.

"Okay...um...Yang you think you can do the aneurysm completely on your own?" Teddy asked after she put the stethoscope around her neck again.

"Well...um..yeah I think so." Cristina replied surprised.

"Okay...you need to do it alone...I think this will take longer..I trust you Cristina!"

"Okay...I´m leaving to prepare myself." Cristina smiled and left after Teddy nodded. Suddenly a female, blonde surgeon entered the room with Alex and his interns following her.

"You paged gyn?" she asked and Teddy nodded.

"Yeah...I never saw you before...who are you?" she asked suspicious.

"Lucy Fields...I´m the head of gyn and newly head of peds. For Arizona Robbins." Lucy meant and shook Teddy´s hand while Alex behind her checked out her ass.

"Teddy Altman...head of cardio. Doctor Karev?" she tore him out of his thoughts. "Maybe you should concentrate on the heartbeats of the patient."

"Okay the we need to do a c-section that fetus lays in breech presentation. That´s the reason why the heartbeat couldn´t be found." Lucy meant after she finished the ultra sound.

"How´s Leo?" the girl asked quietly and Lexie, who still held her hand looked around.

"What´s his last name sweetie?" she asked with a soft smile.

"Winterglass...Leopold Winterglass." she answered huskily.

"Okay...I´ll go and find him." Lexie offered and the girl smiled forming a thank you with her lips. She left the room and went around the e.r. asking if someone had a patient with this name. When she was about to return Meredith and Bailey left their trauma room with the patient and carrying him towards the elevator.

"Where´s Lizzy? Where´s Lizzy?" the patient asked the whole time.

"Wait! Lizzy?" Lexie shouted and ran to her sister and the general surgeon. "What´s your name sir?"

"Leopold Winterglass." he answered and Lexie´s eyes opened wide. "Do you know how´s my sweet Lizzy?"

"Well, um...she´s...um...she needs a...c-section but it seems like there..there aren´t any big problems." Lexie stuttered and switched gaze between the two surgeons and the patient.

"Is there anything you need to tell us doctor Grey?" Miranda asked harsh. Lexie came closer to the small attending and held her hand next to her mouth so nobody could see what she´s saying.

"She´s...Lizzy she´s...his girlfriend is...she´s 14." Lexie whispered stuttering and Bailey also opened her eyes wide.

* * *

"Doctor Sloan! What are you doing?" Hunt asked shocked when he saw a wound on a girl´s arm stitching.

"Um...my work?" he answered sarcastically.

"We don´t have time for some pretty stitching...The e.r. is full and we get new patients constantly!" Owen explained and clamped the wound together.

"What the..?" Mark asked loud."

"Finished. Now go check other patients!" Owen ordered. Unwillingly he stood up and put off his gloves when he went to another patient.

"Who made him the chief of the emergency room?" he asked a nurse when he passed her and she shrugged.

* * *

"Lizzy? You´re..um...boyfriend needs a surgery...but I´m sure everything´s fine. And you need to stay calm because otherwise we can´t do the c-section and that could cause damage for your baby." Lexie tried to comfort the girl while the other doctors carried her out of the room.

"It´s going to be fine." she continued holding her hand and smiling before she looked around and looked Alex directly in the eyes. A huge expression of sorrow could be read in his eyes. She looked down back at the girl hoping that she didn´t has to scrub in with him.

"Okay...doctor Fields do you need someone to help you?" Teddy asked the new pediatric surgeon who looked around in the round of interns.

"Is someone here resident?" she asked and Alex stepped forward. "Okay..you are going to help me and...you." she meant pointing on Lexie who felt like she´s drowning any second.

"I´m sorry doctor Fields I...I feel very sick..." Lexie lied and tried to avoid eye contact with Alex.

"Okay well then...you!" she meant pointing on Steve who smiled and they went into the o.r. wing with Altman who meant to do this on her own.

* * *

Lexie went to the e.r. again to find some cases to work on but there wasn´t one left. So she leaned against the nurse´s desk and watched the event in the e.r. when she noticed Mark examining a man with burned skin. Watching him work let her knees get soft like butter and her stomach feeling like butterflies flew through it. Her cheeks blushed and her eyes filled with tears at once. To stay on her feet Lexie pressed her back against the desk and gasped as he looked up from the patient and his blue eyes met her brown Bambi eyes. Quickly she looked down at her shoes watching from her outer corner of her eyes that he left the patient and the e.r.

"You should talk to him." Callie, who sat on a chair behind the nurse´s desk, meant. Lexie turned around looking at her with questionable eyes. _How can she dare to tell me what to do after sleeping with him?_ She thought and looked back at the e.r.

"I understand that you don´t want to talk to me...but don´t blame him. I made him do...you know...it. And really regrets it. He does. All he want is getting back your trust!" the black haired surgeon explained and Lexie tried to push her tears back down. "Trust me you´re the only woman he wants. And my god he´s the only man you want." Callie continued and stood up as Lexie still didn´t reply. She went around the desk and stopped in front of the intern. Lexie looked her in the eyes and now Callie noticed the tears welling up in her´s. "You can hate me...that´s okay...really I totally understand this I would hate me too. But don´t hate him. Don´t try to push away the love for him and replace it with hate. Don´t do that. He loves you more than anything. He never loved another woman the way he does now. And I´m sure you feel the same way. So hate me but don´t waste time with acting like you don´t listen to me and go talk to him." Callie ordered and looked Lexie deep in the eyes. Lexie was thinking if she should believe her or wait till Mark comes talking to her but the longer Callie looked her in the eyes the more she had to admit that Callie was right. Lexie nodded and Callie gave her a soft smile which Lexie didn´t reply. She ran the direction Mark went hoping to find him but of course she waited too long and he was gone.


	20. Lot to learn

**Okay guys I´m on my practical training and I really want to update this story but I´m afraid I´m gonna be more inactive than I am now. But yeah I´ll try. Moreover I try to make the characters in my fanfic similar to the characters on the show so please don´t judge.**

 **Btw do you want Izzex back together or not because I´m not sure about what to do with them.**

 **Then have fun and enjoy.**

 **Love ya**

 **Lot to learn**

"Okay guys let´s start this!" Cristina meant when she entered the o.r. her sterile hands holding up and ready to get dressed.

"Where´s doctor Altman?" Bookie, the o.r. nurse, asked and looked for the attending.

"She´s not coming. An emergency I´m going to lead this surgery." Cristina replied and showed her to dress her up what she immediately did. A whisper ran through the team but the resident ignored it and went to the patient who was already narcotized.

"Scalpel!" she ordered and held out her hand in which Bookie put in the sharp surgical knife.

* * *

"Doctor Altman...the girl has contractions we need to do the c-section now!" Lucy meant strict looking from the monitor to the cardio-goddess.

"Doctor Fields...If you open her abdomen now she will bleed out. Moreover I need the patient to lay quiet and not to have the procedure down there." Teddy replied and Lucy bit on her lower lip. Alex who sat by the monitor watching the discussion between the attending looked at the intern Steve who shrugged also watching the women arguing.

"You know the longer you two concentrate more on each other than on the patient the more it gets complicated." Alex noticed and the two surgeons looked at him.

"As I know you are just a resident doctor Karev so this is none of your business." Lucy answered annoyed when she turned to him and then looked back to Teddy. "You´ve got two minutes before I need to deliver the baby." Teddy nodded and Lucy went back to her chair and sat down.

"If you ever gonna say something against my work I will make sure you won´t see an o.r. from the inside for a long time." she whispered to Alex who swallowed and concentrated on the monitor but was also kinda turned on by her attitude.

* * *

"Izzie...I told you...you should at least try to forgive Mer and Cristina." Bailey meant sitting next to the blond and brown eyed woman who looked at the needle in her vein.

"If you don´t want to pretend that you are my `friend´ you don´t have to." Izzie replied not looking at the carrying attending.

"I want to...Izzie right now high toxic chemicals are pumped through your veins and all you do is sitting here with only me. An attending who taught you one year but you hardly know instead of your best friends and boyfriend!" When these words came out of Miranda´s mouth Izzie looked at her with tears welling up in her eyes.

"He´s not my boyfriend anymore."

"Iz- Izzie...I mean I heard the rumors and it´s terrible what he did but do you really think that you can take this fight without him?"

"I live better without Alex. And like I said: If you don´t want to support me you can leave too. You have surgeries or some important stuff to do for sure." Izzie meant looking again down at her vein expecting Bailey to go. But instead she took the other hand of the patient and held it. By the touch of the woman´s warm hand Izzie turned her head towards her and Bailey gave her a comforting smile which let her smile back and feel better in only a few seconds.

"Webber took over my surgeries so I can be here."

* * *

"Okay doctor Grey...are you ready?" Richard asked when they stood in front of the narcotized patient. Meredith nodded and held her hand out so the o.r. nurse could give her the scalpel.

"You can expect that there´s a lot of blood and it will be complicated because his organs are on different places. But I´m here if you need help." he continued while Meredith cut the first dermal layer.

"Thank you." she murmured asking for the cauter with her hand. She opened the second layer and then the third till she arrived at the peritoneum. Meredith looked up to the head of general and after he nodded she continued to open it too. Suddenly a lot of blood came out of the man´s body and streamed down over the sterile cloths on the floor. Frightened Meredith stepped back when the blood splashed on the floor and her shoes.

"You need help?" Richard asked and Meredith shook her head coming to the patient again. "He loses blood. What are you doing now?"

"We need blood...type A...A...now!" Meredith shouted overstrained. " Draw!" she meant and Webber put the suction device inside his body. "I think the blood comes from the liver but I can´t see anything...there´s...there´s too much colon." the resident explained while feeling through the organ mix. Webber also looked inside and thought about what to do.

"Maybe if you examine the colon if it has damage and then put it back at the place it should be." he noticed.

"I...I think...I think I feel something...a hole...yes a hole. Okay I´m going to put the colon aside so I can reach the liver." she meant and put the colon on his old place carefully.

"Um...Meredith? It´s not the liver...and it´s also not only blood." Webber said looking at his resident. Meredith who looked at him and not in the body the whole time now looked down to see that she held the colon in her hand and that there were several holes from which blood but also excrement came out. She looked back at the chief and they watched each other for a few seconds.

"I think I need help."

* * *

A paramedic entered the e.r. and explained the problem to a nurse.

"47 year old male. Broke his hips during yoga."

"Doctor Torres?" the nurse asked and Callie stood up from her chair. "Broken hips!"

"Yass!" Callie grinned walking around the desk.

"Hey...I´m awake!" the patient complained.

"I´m sorry." Callie replied sarcastically and still smiling. "Okay Mr...Harrison...how did this happen?"

"I had an appointment with a doctor once and he meant that-"

"Listen! I don´t want to hear the story of your life. I want to know how this happened." Callie interrupted him.

"I was about to tell you. The doctor meant that I was too fat and ate too much...wait no...this was another doctor...the male doctor told me that my joints were too stiff..."

"Mister Harrison...you just have to tell me if you fell down or something like that." Callie meant annoyed while the paramedic carried the patient to an empty bed.

"Please call me Bill. So however I heard from many doctors that I was too fat and unatlethic and my joints were too stiff. And you know you can´t do a lot of sports with

stiff joints. I tried running, I tried soccer, I tried skiing and even swimming but it all hurt and I loved to eat so it didn´t work. Then I read on the internet that yoga avoids ravenousness and is good for the bones so I tried it and it was really funny." the man explained and Callie looked at the paramedic who also looked annoyed. "By the way do you have cookies? I really have appetite for cookies."

"Mister Harrison-"

"Bill!"

"Bill...if you could tell us what exactly happened that you broke both sides of your hips it could help us more then telling us what you want to eat." Callie explained.

"Of course...so I did yoga for like one week now and I liked it. This morning I wanted to eat chips and they are on the highest shelve because you as you can see I´m small and that was that I can´t reach them. So I tried to do yoga to get rid of the feeling to need them and I did it in the kitchen. My swing was too strong and suddenly I laid on the kitchen floor. Great...Now I want chips again."

"Okay thank you for the exact explanation, I will examine you." Callie meant with a fake smile on her lips and filled in the chart.

* * *

Lexie stood in the hallway her hand on her forehead looking out for Mark.

"Damn it!" she cursed when she couldn´t find him and went back to the e.r. where Callie got a case in the meantime.

"Wow...that was a short chat." Callie noticed when Lexie passed her. The anger and sadness boiled up in Lexie´s blood when she stopped and her hands turned to fists. She turned around and ran back to Callie who looked at her surprised.

"You! How can you dare to give me life lessons and to tell me what to do and then make fun of me? How could you dare to sleep with my boyfriend? Like what the hell was driving you that you thought you could just have sex with Mark when we had an argue? What kind of stupid human being does this?" Lexie yelled and the whole emergency room including the personal and the patients were looking at her. Callie gasped and opened her eyes wide when she noticed that everyone was watching them.

"Doctor Grey maybe we should discuss this somewhere else." she whispered still looking at the others.

"Why? Because you don´t want to have a bad reputation? Because rumors spread through the hospital like fungus in a wood? I know it! I had to learn it! And you...you flirt with my boyfriend after he believed these rumors and he was broken...that´s the only reason why he slept with you! Because he was broken, alone and sad and you were there and Mark...Mark is exactly the type of guy who needs sex to feel better. But he would never choose you after he tasted my poundcake! Because he had a lot of your poundcake and when he tasted mine he said `yep that´s what I was searching for!´ and he only took a bite of your old poundcake because mine wasn´t there anymore!" Lexie replied shouting and Callie looked at her confused.

"Poundcake? I never baked a poundcake." Callie arched her eyebrows.

"It´s an insider! But you know what the message is and now get out of my damn stupid life!" Lexie answered still loud and then ran away.

"Great." Callie´s patient said. "Now I have appetite for poundcake."

* * *

"Doctor Yang..." the o.r. nurse said after she picked up the phone. "Doctor Altman wants to know if everything´s fine or if you need help."

"I´m great. You can tell her that I am about to clip the aneurysm and that everything´s going good so far." Cristina smiled and the nurse told Teddy what Cristina said and after she hang up she went back and did her work.

"God this surgery is so simple..." Cristina sang happily. "I don´t know why Teddy wastes her time with something like that. Every intern could do this." with these words she looked up from the body to the intern in front of her who was nervous and his hands were shaking. She looked back at the heart and wanted to place the clip. "Maybe not this here but some interns...little Grey for example...little Grey will make an outstanding surgeon. I mean this is so easy that I-" she continued when suddenly blood splashed out of the body and the blood pressure went high.

"Oh god...oh god!" Cristina meant overstrained and put some sterile gauze into it.

"Doctor Yang! You perforated the aneurysm!" the intern meant shocked but also a little bit gleeful.

"I know!" she replied harsh and groped through the thorax of the man. "I...I can´t find it...I can´t find the hole it´s too much blood." the resident took a serrefine and put it on the place the aneurysm was.

"Where is this damn hole?" she shouted nervously while the nurse called Teddy again and told her to come.

* * *

"She said that everything´s going great and that she was just about to clip the aneurysm." the o.r. nurse in Teddy´s o.r. explained holding the phone in her hand.

"Good...tell her that she has to be careful. If the aneurysm perforates it can be really dangerous." Teddy said watching the heart beat.

"Okay I will tell...she already hang up." the nurse meant and looked back at the surgeon.

"It´s okay Yang knows what to do." Teddy sighed and concentrated on the girl again. "How can a 14-year old girl be with a man who´s nearly fourth her age? I mean if this would be my daughter I would do everything that she wouldn´t see this man anymore."

"Love knows no age..." Lucy replied.

"Yeah but that´s kinda...disgusting." Alex said and earned a mad look from his boss.

"I think I told you not to-"

"Yeah you did...I was just saying my opinion."

"Well, doctor Fields if you want to you can do now everything with the patient. I almost finished my work." Teddy meant and started stitching the wound.

"Well, everything´s fine so far...the baby got a strong heartbeat, the contractions stopped and I don´t see a reason anymore to deliver it. Maybe the breech position changes till the actual birth date." Lucy replied. Teddy nodded and continued closing the girl when suddenly the telephone rang.

"Doctor Altman? It´s o.r. 2. They need you!" the nurse meant nervously.

"2? But that´s where Yang is. Oh god..." Teddy said and looked up from the patient.

" `Yang knows what to do.´ Obviously she doesn´t." Alex made fun of his college.

"Doctor Fields can you please end this? I need to look after her." Teddy asked and Lucy nodded and went to the patient and took over the surgical instruments.

"Damn it. Why does she always need to overestimate herself?" Teddy cursed when she took of her surgical coat, gloves and mask and left the o.r.

"What´s going on here?" Teddy asked mad when she entered Cristina´s o.r.

"Teddy..what...what are you doing here? Everything´s fine!" Cristina lied still trying to find out where the blood was coming from.

"Doctor Yang! Nothing is fine. Bookie told me! Now step aside and let me do it!" the attending claimed while Bookie dressed her up.

"No Teddy I got this!" Cristina lied and looked at the monitor to see that the blood pressure was still too high and the heart near the ventricular fibrillation.

"No you can´t! This is a number too big for yo- ventricular fibrillation!" Teddy recognized and ran to the o.r. table. "Paddles!" she ordered and the intern gave it to her.

"Teddy...please let me end this!" Cristina begged helpless.

"No! Now go or the patient will die!" Teddy shouted and pushed Cristina after she didn´t move. "Clear!" she shouted when she put the paddles on the glimmering heart and the paddles gave it an electrical shock.

* * *

"Now you rinse the cavity and search through it to make sure that there´s no excrement left." Webber helped Meredith and she did what he told her.

"Okay I...I think there´s nothing more left." she meant after her search

"Are you sure?" Webber asked suspicious "Because it could kill this man in less than 5 minutes. So are you sure?"

"Yes I am sir. We rinsed him 5 times and I looked through the cavity like a thousand times and you too. I am sure doctor Webber." Meredith promised and Webber nodded.

"Then you can now repair the damage on the other organs." he said and Meredith smiled under her surgical mask. She stitched the damaged organs and treated the problems the excrement caused. After everything was alright she closed the man and she and Webber left the o.r.

"You did a great job. Was this your first solo-operation?" he asked proud of his student.

"Yeah it was. I didn´t recognize that it was one. I was too concentrated on the patient." Meredith smiled happily.

"Maybe that´s better. You know maybe you would have been nervous and would have made mistakes. So I´m really proud of you Meredith. Someday you are going to be a general surgeon as great as your mother." Richard thought hopeful.

"You know I´m just in my second year. I haven´t decided which specialty I wanna go yet. I think that neuro is cool too." Meredith replied shyly.

"Neuro? No! You have to end what your mother started. You have to go to general. And one day Lexie will also be a general surgeon. It´s like a tradition." Webber tried to convince her.

"Technically Lexie isn´t even related to my mother. And she´s an intern for hardly 4 months. She´s going to decide her way on her own." Meredith meant now a little bit mad that Webber didn´t stop pushing her into a way she didn´t like.

"You´re right. Sorry. But think about it! It would be great if I had the pleasure to work with Ellis Grey and Meredith Grey during my career as general surgeon. Two of the best surgeons I´ve ever met in my life. And you know...I´m not the youngest anymore...I mean I am young but you know." Webber laughed.

"I understand." Meredith meant before going away to rest a bit.

* * *

"Derek!" Mark shouted when he saw his best friend walking down the hallway.

"Mark! Hey. What´s up?" he replied and slowed down so his best friend could catch up.

"I don´t know what to do with Lexie...sometimes I think she wants me back and sometimes I think she wants to forget me...But I miss her and I want her back." Mark admitted and Derek looked down on the floor while walking.

"Maybe you should let her go...maybe you should learn to leave when the time is right." Derek thought.

"But when is the time right? She can´t say she doesn´t miss me cause she does...I can see it in her eyes."

"Well, she will never forget you...you were her...you know...first...god now I have bad images in my head...But please do yourself a favor and let it be." Derek begged.

"But I lov-"

"No! Mark don´t say that! Stop! She´s gone...you thought it could work out – it didn´t. Now deal with it and please set this poor girl free."

"Why are you so against us? I mean you wanted me to promise that I won´t touch her...which I – and I´m deeply sorry for that – couldn´t keep and then you ignored me and now after our unofficial break up you beg me to forget her?"

"Unofficial break up? Mark you slept with another woman...this was more than official."

"I know...please don´t remind me...I regret it...like really...and I want to undo it...somehow...I lov-"

"No Mark sto-" Derek wanted to say but he got cut off.

"I love Lexie Grey!" Mark shouted so everybody could hear him. "I love her and everyone can hear that! She´s my soulmate. My end and my beginning. She´s my world!"

"Mark you know her for hardly four months. Don´t say something when you don´t know what it really is!"

"But I never felt this way. I know who she is! And if she´s going through her worst right now I wanna go through it with her! She makes me happier than...anything other. And if I can have a part in making her happy again then that´s all I wanna do...that´s all I wanna do for the rest of my life!" Mark meant with tears welling up in his eyes. "I´m sure we are endgame. Cause we´re supposed to end up together! We´re meant to be!"

"Meant to be? Mark did you take drugs? What are you talking about? Please don´t let me be a victim of your love-drunken speeches." Derek meant and left his friend behind.

"We are! I know it!" Mark shouted after him not sure if he could hear it.

* * *

"Teddy I...I´m so..so sorry...I was sure I could do this." Cristina meant when she and Teddy left the o.r.

"You see...that´s the problem. You overestimate the things you do too much. You´re thinking too high of yourself and your knowledge. You are too selfcentered and think you know everything better than anybody in this hospital and that´s why this man died!" Teddy shouted pointing on Cristina.

"I´m really sorry Teddy I-"

"It´s doctor Altman! I was a fool thinking I wouldn´t need to teach you something because obviously you don´t even know the basics. You are so obsessed with cardio that you probably don´t even know how to do an appendectomy!" Teddy cut her student off. Cristina looked shocked. She wasn´t good in taking critic and never ever before a surgeon thought that she was bad. They always said that she was the best beginner they ever met.

"Doctor Altman..I´m really sorry...It wasn´t my intention to kill this patient." Cristina said confused.

"Don´t tell me that. Tell it his family." Teddy sighed mad and left her resident behind.

* * *

"Mer?" Lexie asked when she knocked at the resident´s locker room door.

"Yeah?" her sister replied so Lexie stepped in and found her laying on the bench in front of the lockers. "What´s up?"

"Nothing.." Lexie whispered trying to cover her shaky voice.

"You can´t fool me...what´s the matter?" Meredith asked comforting.

"I...I just yelled at Callie...I...I called her vagina an old poundcake..I..I am so..so done with this hospital.." Lexie explained lying down on the other bench.

"Maybe you should take a break. Go on holidays for this weekend." Meredith offered.

"Haha...Webber will never let me go...I´m his best intern right now...If I go, the hospital will fall apart." Lexie joked.

"You are so bigheaded!" Meredith laughed.

"I miss Mark...I really do...but...I´m afraid he hurts me again...or that I hurt him...or that he doesn´t even want me back because Callie´s poundcake tastes better." Lexie thought loud.

"Well, I don´t know what this whole poundcake thing means." Meredith admitted.

"It´s an insider...between Mark and me...I still love him though he hurt me. And I still chase after him like a dog his bone because...because I´m crazy."

"You´re not crazy Lex...You´re a Grey!" Meredith grinned and so did Lexie. "You know how long I chased after Derek? So many problems tore us apart and we always found back together...it´s like the universe wanted us to happen. And now we´re engaged. So it´s not crazy to fight for what you want...but you have to know where to stop." Meredith explained to her younger sister.

"Wow Mer...poetical!" Lexie jiggled.

"Yeah sometimes these inspiring, poetical inner monologues are just running through my head."

"You could be a good intro and outro for a TV-show...Our lives are perfect for a show for sure. The Grey´s Anatomy Reality Show!" Lexie explained jiggling and gestured with her hands. Both of the sister laughed and talked about how the show would look like.

"Okay I gotta go..." Lexie meant and stood up again. "But I think you´re right...Maybe I will take a break and drive to a spa or something. Nobody knows where I might end up." Lexie jiggled and left the room after she waved Meredith a goodbye.

* * *

"Callie..." Mark meant when she passed him fast.

"Uh...Hey...do you know what poundcake is?" she asked when she came back to him.

"...A cake?" Mark replied sarcastically.

"Lexie meant it was an insider. She just called me an old poundcake." Callie jiggled arching her eyebrows. Mark thought about it when he remembered their insider of their first night together.

"Oh...well, haha...it´s it´s a code word for dirty things. Why did she say that?" he asked.

"She was mad at me because of sleeping with you and because I wanted to help her getting back to you. Yeah she was kinda rude but I understand that. She yelled at me in front of the whole staff and in front of my patient. I mean it´s okay being mad at me but she could have done this when we two were alone and not like...shouting through the emergency room."

"She wants back to me? Really?" Mark couldn´t hide a smile.

"Did you just listen to me? I told you that she yelled at me in front of everyone." Callie asked mad.

"Thank you Callie...I need to find her." Mark meant and gave Callie a quick hug before running back to the e.r.

"Did that just happen?" Callie asked herself confused and looked at the place Mark stood two seconds ago. Suddenly she felt like she needed to puke and held her hand in front of her mouth. After a few seconds the feeling was gone and she held her stomach. "Maybe it wasn´t a good idea to drink the two weeks old milk with my coffee."

* * *

"Doctor Karev!" Lucy recognized him when she went to the nurse´s desk.

"Doctor Fields...I was thinking about on which unit the girl should come. Cardio, gyn or peds?" Alex asked when the blond attending stopped next to him.

"How about ICU?" she giggled and so did he. "Here...please bring this boy to his chemotherapy." she meant pushing a chart over to him.

"Leukemia...poor boy and he´s only 8. Yes I will do it and I wanted to ask something...oh right, would you like to go to Joe´s with me tonight?" he replied reading the chart and then looking up from it.

"Like a date?" Lucy laughed.

"More like two colleges that want to celebrate their good work together." Alex lied.

"You know I heard the rumors like everyone else in this hospital and...well, I was in the cafeteria when this one doctor shouted the truth through the hallways so...I´m kinda not interested as long as you haven´t sorted your things out." Lucy answered smirking and left him.

"Does this mean someday you will?" Alex asked confused but smiling and then went to the boy´s patient room.

"Hey dude...you wanna come with me? I´ll take you to the chemo." Alex asked when he entered the room with a wheelchair. The boy nodded weakly and Alex helped him into the wheelchair and drove him to the oncology wing where the chemotherapy was.

"How are you feeling?" he asked carrying but the boy only shrugged weakly. Alex didn´t know what he should talk with that child so he stopped talking and entered with him the room where all the cancer patients were sitting. Alex drove to a chair and gave the boy´s chart to a nurse so she could give him the right infusion and he helped the boy on the chair. When he looked around he noticed Izzie sitting there and watching him. They looked at each other for only a few seconds but it felt like million years. She swallowed the lump in her throat back down an tried to breathe calmly while Alex bit on his lower lip trying to ignore the sorrow he felt.

"Your interleukin 2 therapy is finished doctor Stevens." a nurse meant when she pulled the needle out of her arm. Izzie nodded softly not breaking the eyecontact with Alex. "You just need to go to the nurse´s desk and sign the papers." the nurse continued while Izzie stood up pressing a swab on her vein. Alex told the boy he would come back in an hour when the chemo was finished and followed Izzie to the desk. He watched her how she took the papers from another nurse and came closer.

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly when he reached the desk but didn´t look at her.

"How should I feel? I have cancer, my child was born three months too early and my boyfriend cheated on me. I feel great!" Izzie meant sarcastically looking at her papers. Alex sighed. He knew he screwed up and flirting with Lucy didn´t make it better.

"Iz...I´m sorry for every-" Alex looked at her but Izzie cut him off.

"Have you visited Denny?" Izzie asked still not looking up but recognizing that he shook his head. "You should visit him...you´re his father so that´s the least thing you could do for him after breaking up with his mother."

"I never broke up with you." Alex explained quietly. "I...I just..."

"You screwed up...It´s great that you think cheating on someone doesn´t mean a break up but yeah it´s your decision if you want to meet your son or not. And before you ask: it is your son. I´m not the whore screwing around with other people. And now it´s over! I broke up with you!" Izzie cut him off giving the papers back to the nurse and leaving her ex boyfriend behind.

* * *

"Ted-" Cristina sat down next to Teddy in the cafeteria but stopped talking when she looked at her mad. "Doctor Altman." she continued quietly. "I wanted to ask how the girl from the e.r. feels...the pregnant one. Does she need another surgery? I know my today´s work wasn´t the best but maybe I just need something more appealing."

"Doctor Yang! You have a lot to learn. I looked through your files and could clearly see that you spent almost every hour of your surgical residency here at the Seattle Grace on cardio. I think it´s good when someone is ambitious but that´s not ambition anymore. That´s childish behavior. I mean it´s obvious that you will be a cardio-goddess but for your boards and for everything in your future you need the basics which you clearly don´t have. So I´m sorry doctor Yang but I don´t want you on my service anymore." Teddy explained and stood up with an apple in her hand and a coffee in the other hand and left the shocked resident behind.

"Cristina! Hey! What´s up?" Owen asked when he saw his girlfriend staring at the empty seat Teddy was sitting.

"Teddy she...she just fired me." Cristina answered still in shock.

"What? That´s not possible only chief Webber can fire you." Owen replied sitting down on Teddy´s chair.

"But she did...she just fired me from her service...she doesn´t want me anymore. I...I lost my tutor. I lost my one true love." Cristina meant near to crying.

"Excuse me? Correct me if I´m wrong but I thought I was your one true love and now Teddy is yours?" Owen asked surprised.

"No...Cardio...I´m...I´m a cardio-whore...I can´t survive without a beating heart in my hand. I don´t need a colon or brain or bones. I need a heart. A very sick heart." Cristina explained sad.

"So wait...Teddy told you to leave cardio? Why?" Owen asked still confused.

"Because I need to learn the basics. Which cardio-thoracic surgeon can do an appendectomy today? Or better wants to do!" Cristina now calmed down and leaned back in her chair. "She can´t do this right? I mean she can´t just hold me away from cardio right?"

"I´m afraid she can. I´m so sorry. But the positive is that you need some hours in trauma so we can spend more time together."

"What´s positive at being fired?"

"First you´re not fired and second to spend time with your boyfriend. I mean why should this be negative? I don´t need you to tell me that you love your work more than me. That´s something you need to count on when you´re in a relationship with Cristina Yang. She will love you but she will always put her work over you. You know where to find me when you finally get your mind clear." Owen got mad and stood up and left the table.

"Owen!" Cristina tried to grab his hand put he pulled it away and left her behind.

* * *

"So you made him clear to leave my sister alone?" Meredith asked Derek between the kisses they gave each other in a bed in an on-call room.

"Yeah I did." he replied pulling off her scrub shirt.

"And did he really understand what you meant?" she continued her asking.

"Yeah he did. Can we please talk about something different than Mark?" Derek asked annoyed.

"Of course." Meredith answered quickly and pulled off his scrub shirt. They kissed and the kiss got even more passionate when they included their tongues. Meredith slowly laid herself back on the bed so Derek laid on her. They kissed while Derek put off her pants and Meredith his. Suddenly she pushed him away softly.

"Did Mark really understand that he should set Lexie free? Like really really?" Meredith asked again.

"Mer..."

"I´m sorry...I just worry about her.."

"He did understand that he should-"

"Derek?!" Mark suddenly opened the door of the on-call room which caused Meredith screaming and pulling the blanket over her naked body.

"Mark!" Derek shouted and also put a bit over his waist.

"Derek...she still loves me...she wants me back!" Mark came in and closed the door behind him not carrying about the two being naked.

"What are you talking about?" Derek asked confused.

"Lexie! She wants me back! I need to find her! Derek you were right! She didn´t forget me!" Mark meant happily and left the on-call room again.

"He understood hm?" Meredith asked kinda mad and kinda amused.

* * *

"Doctor Webber?" Bailey asked shyly when she knocked at his office door.

"Doctor Bailey...come in." he meant exhausted and again reading thousands of contracts.

"Is anything alright?" she asked sure to know the answer.

"Miranda.." he said and looked at her taking his glasses off. Bailey knew it wasn´t a good sign if he calls her by her first name. "Please sit down." he continued pointing on the chair in front of him and Bailey sat down. "The employee representation now gave me the exact guidelines for our situation. Can you keep a secret?" he asked and Bailey nodded fast. "They told me that I have to fire some doctors."

"Fire? But you told me that we are losing so many and that that´s bad." Bailey remembered their last conversation.

"Yes but that were good attending. Now I have to fire residents and interns. Now I need you. You have to tell me who would be a loss and who we could let go."

"I´m afraid that´s none of my business." Bailey tried to avoid choosing.

"Just think about it. I trust you and your competent opinion. And there´s another thing I need to tell you. It´s important that you tell it everyone." Webber looked deep into the general surgeons brown eyes and she got afraid.

* * *

"Mark..." Derek said when he met his best friend again.

"Derek did you see Lexie? I can´t find her." Mark asked looking around helpless.

"Mark that´s exactly what I wanted to tell you. I wanted to give you that." he meant holding out a coupon. "I want you to take a break from this whole stuff. Please leave the hospital for this weekend. You don´t have difficult cases and the other plastic surgeons can take them over. Please do it for me." Mark took the coupon and looked at it.

"Maybe you´re right. I should take a break. Thank you." he meant and nodded.

"Okay then...See you on Monday." Derek smiled and went back to the on-call room where Meredith waited for him.

"Thanks. And now let´s continue where we stopped." she smiled when he came back into the bed. They started kissing when suddenly their pagers went on.

* * *

Everybody´s pager went on when Bailey paged them to the auditorium.

"Bailey." Meredith said when she looked at her pager.

"What could she want?" Derek asked when they put their clothes back on and went to the auditorium.

Mark looked down at his pager when he was about to put off his clothes and change into normal clothes.

"Bailey?" he asked surprised.

Lexie was already driving to the spa when her pager started beeping.

"No. Not this weekend." she meant when she put the mute off.

Izzie still had her pager and also got the message when she was already lying in her bed. _I feel good..I can go there..at least it´s more interesting than what´s on TV..._ she thought and turned the TV off and stood up to go to the auditorium.

One by one everybody met where Bailey paged them to be and looked at the small surgeon who was standing on the stairs so she could see everybody.

"Okay...Hello..everyone..You wonder why you came for for sure. Chief Webber wanted me to tell you something. Our financial situation is getting worse and we are losing staff. This hospital is like a second home for some of us and we don´t intend to lose it. Doctor Webber also don´t want to give this hospital up. There were only two solutions. The first one was giving this hospital up. Every doctor would have needed to look for another job. The second one was a fusion with another hospital." A whisper of shock ran through the crowd. "Both, giving up and the fusion weren´t an option for our chief. But he had to make a decision. And...no matter how sorry he is for what I have to tell you know...it must have been. In one month this hospital won´t be the same as it was. We will fusion with the Mercy West. The Seattle Grace will transform to the Seattle Grace Mercy West."


	21. I like u so much better when ur naked

**Okay guys I just wanted to say thank you for 6k reads and for the nice comments. You really make me continue doing this story by your feedback. So I wanted you to know that Teddy finally got a bigger part and that a new character joined my cast. Hope you enjoy the chapter with a whole bunch of Slexie and Izzex feelings and the beginning of a new love.**

 **Love ya**

* * *

 **I like you so much better when you´re naked**

"What does this mean `Fusion with the Mercy West´?" a doctor asked loud and Bailey wanted to answer when another doctor asked something.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because our financial situa-" Bailey got cut off again.

"The Mercy West isn´t a good hospital. They have bad surgeons!" a doctor shouted and some others agreed.

"They are on a better place in the ranking than we-" Bailey replied but Derek interrupted her.

"Doctor Webber would never do something like that." he said and shook his head.

"I´m afraid he would." Richard suddenly appeared behind the crowd. "I did. It´s official. There was no other chance to save this hospital." he meant walking through the doctors and going upstairs stopping next to Miranda. "The Seattle Grace is going to be the Seattle Grace Mercy West."

* * *

"No, no, no that must be a mistake. I called you three hours ago that I want to book a room and you said yes. I have the room...214." Lexie meant leaning over the counter and pointing on the key of the room.

"I´m sorry but we don´t have a reservation on your name." the receptionist meant scrolling through her computer.

"Please check it again. Alexandra Grey...there has to be one." Lexie begged and hoped but the woman on the other side of the desk shook her head again.

"I´m really sorry. But I can call another hotel. They are a half hour away maybe they got a room for you Miss and you can come here and buy a day ticket for our wellness section."

"I´m not going to live in another hotel and pay for my wellness here when I booked a room."

"Miss I know this is hard to understand but we don´t have a reservation on your name." the receptionist got mad.

"Look, I´m a surgeon...well, not yet but I work in a hospital. I have night shifts and on-call shifts and sometimes I work 48 hours at once. And my boyfriend cheated on me and he´s also working in this hospital so I needed to get away. I just want to relax and get my mind off. Do you have any empty room?" Lexie wanted to know helpless.

"Unfortunately we are full but someone booked a room with two separate bedrooms. It´s a family room. If you want to and if the guest agrees you can have the other part of this room." the receptionist explained.

"Please can you ask him?" Lexie begged and the woman nodded taking the phone and typing in the telephone number. "Hello...I wanted to ask you something. You booked a family room for this weekend but you are only one person right?...Exactly, I wanted to know if it would bother you if a young woman could use the other bedroom. Her booking got lost and we don´t have any rooms left...okay...okay...I will tell her...thank you, goodbye." The woman hang up and Lexie looked at her hopeful. "He said yes. It´s room number 124. He´s not here yet so you can choose which bedroom you want."

"Thank you so much!" Lexie meant and took her bag heading to the elevator.

* * *

"Doctor Webber!" Cristina meant when the questions were answered and everybody went back to their work. "Can Teddy just fire me from her service? I mean can she just do this?"

"Of course she can. And I´m happy with her decision. You really need to catch up on the other specialties." Richard explained and Cristina shook her head unbelievable.

"But I´m not interested in other specialties. Why do I need to-"

"Because it´s part of our teaching plan. And you have to follow the rules." Webber explained harsh.

"But I-"

"No discussion!" Webber said before leaving the resident. Callie, who listened to their talk, came to Cristina.

"Teddy doesn´t want you huh?" Callie noticed but Cristina didn´t react. "Arizona doesn´t want me either."

"That´s...that´s not the same..." Cristina looked at her.

"Well, you feel like she took away the thing you loved the most. Arizona was the thing I loved the most. Both´s gone so I would say it is the same." Callie explained and Cristina looked at her still unsure about what she should think.

"What do you want from me?" she finally asked a little madly.

"Mark´s gone for this weekend, Arizona´s gone forever and I don´t really have any other friends so I thought `hey let´s make friends with Cristina´." Callie admitted watching Cristina raising her eyebrows.

"I´m not really into making new friends thank you." Cristina meant going away.

"Oh come on!" Callie called after her but the resident didn´t react.

* * *

"Teddy!" Owen called after his best friend. "Teddy wait!"

"No Owen! I´m not going to talk with you about your girlfriend." Teddy replied mad walking away.

"Teddy...I didn´t want to-"

"Yes you did! I know!" she turned around and looked into his eyes. "I can see it...in your eyes...you were never good at hiding something. I´m not going to take Cristina back."

"Please...Teddy...do it for me."

"Why should I? Because you did so much for me?"

"I..I was your partner in army. I am your best friend. I just wanted to know why?"

"Owen...she acts like a child. She can´t share anything, her interns are just doing the work she doesn´t want to do. She killed my patient because she denied that she messed up. Owen...Cristina is too wild, too dangerous to work with sick patients."

"Teddy...she is just the working type of woman, our residents also let us do the work they didn´t want to do when we were interns and she made a mistake – yes – but that doesn´t justify to keep her away from the thing she loves the most."

"If I was you Owen I wouldn´t be with her anymore. Just because you exactly know that she will never love you as much as she does love a heart." Teddy explained calm but still mad.

"You know nothing about our relationship!" Owen shouted pointing on her before turning around and stamping away.

"Wow...that was...intense..." a man in a wheelchair behind Teddy noticed.

"Yeah...and it proofed me that I was right." Teddy said looking at Owen leaving the hallway and then turned around. "Oh you´re..."

"I´m not paralyzed...I´m just too weak for going. I had an operation yesterday. A tumor in my kidney." he replied.

"Can I see your chart?" Teddy asked and pointed on his chart hanging on the wheelchair.

"I don´t know...my parents taught me not to show everything to strangers." the man joked.

"I´m doctor Altman. Teddy Altman. Cardio-thoracic surgeon." she smiled and hold out her hand.

"I´m Burton. Henry Burton. Tumor-patient. But I have to warn you it´s pretty scary stuff. Just saying." the man replied the smile and shook her hand before she took the chart and looked through it.

"Wow...you have the Hippel-Lindau disease. And you´ve been in hospital for 200 days in the past three years. Are your parents here? Did you call them?" Teddy asked concentrated.

"No...they died. 5 and 4 years ago." Henry replied watching the blond woman reading the shocking truth about his patient history

"I´m sorry." she meant. "Wow...you had a lot of different tumors."

"Yeah...That´s my hobby..." he joked and Teddy looked at him seriously. "Of course not!" he added giggling. Suddenly Teddy´s pager went on.

"I´m...I´m sorry I need to go." she said and put the chart back.

"Wait! How do I look?" Henry asked.

"Um..." Teddy replied confused.

"I want to propose to my girlfriend." Henry explained.

"Well, then...she would be a fool to say no." Teddy smiled and went away.

"Thanks!" Henry called after her also smiling.

* * *

Lexie entered the room she could get and threw her bag on the floor. She looked around and decided to take the children´s room and to give the bedroom the nice man who let her sleep in that room. Throwing herself on the bed she sighed and was happy to finally be away from all of the Seattle Grace drama and romances. After a few moments on the comfortable bed she searched in her bag for her bikini and changed into it. Then she took a bathrobe and towel and left the room to finally relax.

I the meantime Mark checked in in the hotel Derek gave him the coupon for. It was originally a present for Meredith from Derek but he changed it on Meredith´s order to a one-man relaxing weekend so Mark was away from Lexie. He entered the room and put his things on his bed. He didn´t look around because he ordered a massage and it would start in ten minutes so he quickly changed into his trunks and left to room with a towel and bathrobe to his massage. After 30 minutes pure relaxing he decided to go swimming. When he hopped into the pool there weren´t a lot of people so he swam some lengths and tried to get Lexie out of his mind when he suddenly saw a beautiful girl from the backwards and decided to flirt with her.

* * *

Arizona sat on a bed in the hallway of the Hopkins declining one of Callie´s phone call. She looked at her phone when pressed the red button and sighed closing her eyes.

"Everything´s fine, doctor Robbins?" a nurse Arizona knew from her previous time at the Hopkins, asked friendly.

"Yeah, sure...everything´s..awesome." Arizona lied putting her phone back in her pocket.

"Arizona...I know you since a few years now and I know if something´s not okay with you." the nurse explained and sat down next to her.

"Lilly I...I just...I miss my girlfriend so much." Arizona admitted stroking through her hair. Lilly laid her hand on her friends shoulder and sighed.

"Then why don´t you visit her?" she asked.

"Because she broke up with me...she broke up because I took this job. I´m so damn stupid."

"No you´re not...just..maybe call her." the nurse said and Arizona giggled.

"You know that´s the point. She calls me the whole time and I decline."

"Why?"

"Because I don´t know what to say. I don´t know if I should tell her that I´m sorry because I´m not. I organized a job for her too. And she left me."

"But I thought you missed her?"

"I do...but...I´m afraid."

* * *

"Hello. What can I do for you?" a nice woman asked when Lexie came to her desk.

"Hello..so I originally wanted to get a massage but it´s full so I thought about coming here. The coiffeur. I think I need a little change in my life." Lexie explained and the woman nodded.

"Of course. Just another haircut or changing color?"

"Both...I think. I would like to get blond." Lexie explained sitting down in the coiffeur´s chair and watching in the mirror like the hairdresser was playing with Lexie´s dark brown hair.

"And which shape of blond?" she asked and handed her out a folder. A few minutes went by when Lexie decided which shape she wanted and pointed on it.

"This." she said and turned around.

"Uhh...the break-up-blond. Was it hard?"

"Excuse me?"

"Every woman who wants this blond is freshly out of a break up. Mostly a hard break up."

"Well then, do it!" Lexie ordered and the woman put the coat around Lexie´s neck.

"É voila!" the hairdresser meant after finishing her work. "It fits you!"

"Thank you...Can I pay now? I don´t want to book it on the room." Lexie explained and the woman nodded.

"Sure...25 dollars. Special prize for you..." she smiled.

"Really? Why?" Lexie asked confused but smiled back.

"You seem like your break up was really hard." the hairdresser whispered and Lexie gave her the 25 dollars.

"Thank you..." Lexie replied whispering and shook her hand before leaving the coiffeur and going to the pool where only were a couple and a family for her surprise.

* * *

"Good evening Izzie...How´s it going?" Bailey asked when she entered the room and saw her patient sitting in her bed knitting.

"Look I´m knitting shoes for Denny. I think he likes blue, what do you think?" Izzie asked happily and showed one finished shoe to her friend.

"Well, I think you should rest and not be Happy the dwarf when you´re doing an interleukin 2 procedure." Bailey replied and straightened the curtains.

"I feel good. I never felt better. Can you bring Denny here to me? I bet he misses his mommy." Izzie said again too happy.

"That´s not possible, sorry. He´s too weak to leave the newborn ICU." Bailey said and Izzie stopped smiling.

"Then bring me to him!" she begged.

"I´m afraid that´s also not possible. You should stay in bed. Your condition can change from one second to the other."

"Miranda please..."

"Also it´s not allowed to visit the newborn ICU when you´re sick."

"I have cancer. It´s not like I will infect the babies."

"Izzie...you have to follow the rules just as any other patient."

"Please Miranda...I want to see my son...I only saw him on pictures yet and what if he forgets that I´m his mother."

"He won´t-"

"How would you feel when you could never see your son?"

"I´m seeing my son every-"

"How?" Izzie asked mad and loud.

"Terrible..." Miranda admitted and Izzie nodded. "Fine, I´ll take you there. But don´t tell anyone!"

"Thank you!" Izzie smiled again. A few moments later Miranda entered the room with a wheelchair but Izzie shook her head and stood up.

"I can go. See? I´m fine." she claimed and Bailey sighed knowing it wouldn´t make sense to force her and put it into a corner of the room. Izzie smiled and Bailey couldn´t help but reply it and they went to the newborn ICU. Not even slowly. If you looked at Izzie you wouldn´t have thought she had this exhausting procedure only hours ago.

"Here we are...that´s your son." Bailey meant when they stopped in front of a bed with a little baby in it that was full with wires and still on the lung ventilator.

"He´s so...small." Izzie whispered and put her hands on the glass case Denny laid.

"He´s six and a half month old. But he´s doing better and better. He gets strong." Bailey explained and smiled seeing Izzie so happy after all she´s been through.

"He´s beautiful." Izzie meant with tears in her eyes.

"He really is." Bailey agreed and both watched him breathing. A moment of silent filled the air when Bailey looked at her watch and said it was time to go again. But Izzie didn´t move and didn´t reply.

"Izzie?" she asked but again Izzie didn´t do anything. Bailey turned her around by pulling at her shoulder and saw Izzie trying to breathe. "Izzie!" she screamed before the unconscious body of Izzie Stevens crashed against the floor.

* * *

"I can´t believe you agreed doing this!" Derek shouted going through Richards office nervously.

"I had no choice. I didn´t want to give up the hospital!" Richard replied loud.

"You gave it up by agreeing to the fusion!" Derek explained to him.

"We all don´t know what´s going to happen. This will be a change yeah but it won´t infect our team." Richard tried to make it sound better.

"It will. It will change everything. We could resist the other crisis too." Derek reminded his chief. "Why did you agree to this?"

"Enough! I´m your chief and I´m not going to let you talk to me like that. One more word about this fusion and I will fire you." Richard shouted mad standing up and leaning over his desk.

"You would never fire me. I´m the best neurosurgeon you could get." Derek giggled.

"Don´t overestimate yourself." Richard whispered harsh and sat down again putting on his glasses and doing the paper work. "You know where the door is." he said not paying attention to Derek shaking his head and storming out of the office.

* * *

Cristina laid in her bed staring at the ceiling when Owen came home. "He ran through the apartment powerful and cursed everything the whole time. Cristina wondered why and stood up and went to the living room.

"Owen?" she asked quietly.

"Cristina I...I didn´t...you...you´re home." he replied stuttering.

"Yeah I left the hospital one hour ago. What happened?" Cristina wanted to know.

"I´m...I´m so sorry...Teddy she...she...I tried to change her mind but she´s so..." Owen stopped talking when his voice started shaking mad.

"It´s okay dear...It´s okay you don´t need to tell her that..she will notice that it´s her loss." Cristina meant and pointed on the empty place in the bed next to her where Owen sat down.

"Are you sure? I would try it again." Owen meant and looked her in the eyes. Softly Cristina laid her hand on his cheek and he closed his eyes by her touch.

"It´s okay." she meant and kissed him slowly.

* * *

The beeping of the the monitor which messed her heart pressure waked Izzie up. She opened her eyes a bit and noticed she laid in her bed again. She touched her forehead and noticed a band aid on it and the incredible pain in her head.

"Ouch.." she meant when she heard steps coming closer. She tried to open her eyes more and recognized Alex standing in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered huskily.

"You were conscious. Here drink something." he meant and held a cup with water and a straw to her and she drank a bit.

"But why are you here. We´re not a couple anymore." she meant after clearing her throat.

"But I´m still your emergency contact." Alex meant and looked down at the cup in his hands. For a moment both were silent. Suddenly Izzie sighed.

"I saw Denny for the first time today...he has your nose." she explained.

"I wanted to visit him but then Bailey paged me that...that this happened to you. Iz...I miss you." Alex said shyly.

"I miss you too.." Izzie replied quietly looking down on her hands.

"You do?" Alex asked surprised and looked at her how she nodded.

"But...what you did to me...I don´t know if I can forgive you that."

"You don´t have to. I just want you back. Back in my arms, back in my life. Izzie I...I don´t know what I did my whole life before I met you. Thanks to you I now know what happiness means, what trusting someone means, what...what true love means. Thanks to you I got a better man. And I screwed up...I know...and you don´t have to forgive me. Just love me." Alex begged.

"Come closer." Izzie ordered quietly and Alex sat down on her bed. "Closer." she meant and Alex leaned over to her a bit. "Closer."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I´m too weak to sit up and kiss you and now come closer." she explained and Alex leaned in and kissed her softly.

"And now?" Alex asked after pulling away. But Izzie didn´t reply and put her hand on his cheek and looked him in the eyes deeply before pulling him to her and kissing him again.

* * *

Mark thought a moment about if he should talk to the pretty girl or not because he still loved Lexie but decided to flirt with her. He swam to the woman he saw from the backwards and tried to remember a good joke. He forgot everything during the relationship because it wasn´t necessary.

"I think we haven´t met yet. My name is Ma- Ahhhh!" he screamed when the blond girl turned around turning out it was Lexie.

"Mark?!" she asked loud and confused.

"What are you doing here? Why are you blond?" he asked still scared.

"I´m here because I wanted to get away from yo- were you just trying to flirt with me?" Lexie asked back.

"I´m...I was not..."Mark stuttered.

"Yeah you were. You wanted to flirt with another girl...Or you´re stalking me!" Lexie meant mad.

"I´m surely not. Derek booked me this to get away from you!" Mark explained and looked around when he noticed the couple that was about to leave watching them.

"Well, I´m here to forget you." Lexie said loud not carrying about the mother of the family shaking her head.

"You want to forget me? I thought you want to get me back." Mark said but it sounded like he would ask.

"I do want you back. I really do. I love you Mark. But that makes me sad. And I don´t want to be sad. I don´t want to love you Mark, I want to be happy." Lexie explained.

"And you´re happy now?" Mark asked coming closer and Lexie didn´t reply.

"I think I need to go to my room now." Lexie meant quickly and swam away.

"Which room number do you have?" Mark smirked.

"I´m not going to tell you that." Lexie replied continuing swimming.

"If you change your mind I have room number 124." He called after her and she suddenly stopped swimming and looked back at him.

"What did you just say?" Lexie wanted to know.

"So you changed your mind." he grinned.

"Which room number?!" she screamed coming closer and now she really didn´t care because nobody was in the pool anymore besides them.

"124 you want to come with me now?" Mark asked a bit confused but still amused.

"That´s not possible that´s my room!" Lexie meant shocked.

"What? No...it´s mine." Mark giggled.

"No I know it because I discussed so much because my original room wasn´t available and they gave me...oh god no...please don´t say we two share a room." Lexie begged.

"Why should we share-"

"Because the receptionist called the guest of the room 124 and asked if I can sleep there too because it´s a family room and he was just alone." Lexie explained still in shock.

"Nobody called me." Mark promised.

"Didn´t you say Derek booked this for you?" Lexie asked and Mark was silent. "God no..."

"Don´t you see? We belong together! We are in the same hotel for the same reason – to forget each other! Then we meet and we even share the same room." Mark meant and came closer. But Lexie stepped back although she wanted him to kiss her. Mark continued coming closer and Lexie continued stepping back when she suddenly hit the wall. Mark smirked and put his hands on both sides of Lexie on the wall. Their bodies touched and it immediately felt like a big explosion. Mark leaned over to kiss her and she exchanged looks between his lips and eyes when suddenly something caught her attention.

"Mark!" she screamed when a lifeless body swam next to them.

"Oh my god!" he shouted when he turned around. Immediately they swam to the body and saw that it was a kid. Mark pulled it out of the water and laid him on the floor where Lexie clapped the kid on the shoulder and tried to find a pulse.

"No pulse." she meant shocked and Mark pushed her aside to start with the reanimation. "Call 911!" he shouted when he started the cardiac massage. Lexie ran to her bag and called the emergency. "Have you got a pen? I need to do a tracheotomy!" Lexie searched in her bag while explaining what the emergency was.

"Okay, does the boy breathe?" the woman asked.

"No." she meant still searching in her bag.

"Okay do you know how a reanimation works? 30 times a cardiac massage and 2 times-"

"2 times ventilation...I know. I´m a surgeon." she explained and held up a pen and threw it to Mark. "A friend is doing a tracheotomy. Please we need an ambulance with the right tracheotomy set." Lexie meant and kneel down next to Mark and gave him a hand disinfection so he can make it sterile.

"A tracheotomy? that´s very dangerous!" the woman warned.

"We are both surgeons we can do this." Lexie meant a bit mad. "Now send us the damn ambulance!" she ordered and hang up after the woman told them she send one. "You can do this right?" she asked Mark unsure.

"Yeah I could need something sharp. Like scissors." he meant and looked at Lexie who took her bag and searched for something sharp when she found nail scissors and made them sterile with the hand disinfection.

"Oh my god! What are you doing?!" a woman suddenly disturbed them when Mark wanted to open his throat.

"Ma´am please he´s doing a tracheotomy so we can ventilate this boy. Who are you?" Lexie stood up and held the woman away from Mark so he could do his job.

"I´m his mother. that´s my sun. Oh my god...what happened?" the woman cried.

"Okay...it´s okay...just look somewhere else. You don´t want to see that." Lexie explained knowing that Mark was about to open the boy´s throat.

"Lex...I could use your help." he suddenly meant and the woman got more nervous.

"It´s okay stay here I´m going to help saving your son." Lexie said and ran to Mark after the woman nodded.

"You have some tissues?" he whispered so the mother couldn´t hear him.

"Of course." she said and put them out of her bag. When she turned around she noticed how much blood came out of the boy´s throat. "Is it normal that so much blood comes o-" she whispered shocked but Mark stopped her.

"I think I might cut into the carotid." Mark explained quietly.

"You think you might cut it? When have you done your last tracheotomy?" Lexie also got nervous.

"It´s not that easy when you don´t have an ultra sound and the right instruments." Mark said nervous and his hands started shaking.

"It´s okay. You can do this." she comforted him and he nodded. Lexie dabbed around the wound with the tissue so Mark could see better and noticed it wasn´t the carotid he hurt. Then he put the pen into the hole. He started to ventilate the boy and when his chest rose they started smiling and a sigh of relieve came out of Lexie´s mouth. Mark continued reanimating the boy and the paramedics came in the meantime and took the boy and his mother to the hospital and left Lexie and Mark congratulating for their good work.

"Wow...okay I´m done with swimming for today. I need to rest a bit. Besides that...the dinner starts in a half hour." Lexie explained and took her bag. "Can you go and tell the receptionist or someone that the should clean the blood from the floor?" she asked and Mark nodded. Lexie smiled and Mark replied it. "You really did a great job Mark."

Lexie entered her room and sat down to rest a bit when Mark also entered the room and smiled seeing Lexie overwhelmed.

"That was amazing...you saved this boy´s life." Lexie meant and stood up.

"Well, we both did." Mark grinned and came closer. Lexie stepped back again. "Why won´t we celebrate this?"

"Mark..." Lexie whispered stepping back.

"Little Grey..." Mark whispered back smirking. Suddenly Lexie bumped against the closet and Mark smiled. He stopped only a few inches in front of her and put his arm against the closet.

"Why don´t we continue where we stopped?" he asked horny and Lexie switched gaze between his eyes and his lips. Mark wanted to come closer when suddenly Lexie grabbed his face and pulled him over to kiss him. It felt like the very first time they kissed. Like Fireworks exploded between them. Mark was a bit overstrained but replied the kissed immediately. Mark´s tongue begged for entry by touching her lip but she quickly pulled him away and stopped the kiss. She pressed her lips together and clapped him on the shoulder when he arched his eyebrows.

"Okay..." she meant and went away from him.

"What are you doing?" Mark asked when he watched Lexie putting off her bathrobe.

"I´m going to jump into the shower." she said and put of her Bikini. Mark, who watched her from the backwards, tried to keep his mouth closed when she went towards the bathroom and closed the door behind her. When she turned on the water in the shower she looked in the mirror and touched her lips. She closed her eyes and smiled before she opened the door again and her head looked out.

"Want to join me?" she smirked and Mark looked at her confused but also still horny. "Saves water."

"But only because I care about the environment." he replied smiling and entered the bathroom. Lexie kissed him while he opened his bathrobe and let it drop onto the floor. The kiss got more passionate when they involved their tongues and she put off his trunks. Mark took the skinny brunette beauty up and they stepped into the shower which meanwhile got hot and steamy. "They kissed and let the water splash on their heads and faces. Some hot minutes went by when Lexie stopped the action and looked him in his beautiful blue eyes.

"Want to continue in bed?" she asked flirty and Mark smirked. They stepped out of the shower and Mark pressed her against the wall. They kissed again and he put her up and carried her to his bed where he laid her down and placed his body on her. Lexie´s hand stoke over his back and scratched him a bit while he stroke through her hair. A little moan came out of Lexie´s mouth when Mark´s hand went from her legs up to her arm and he crossed his fingers with her´s. They enjoyed every hot minute and every passionate kiss together and rolled around in the king size bed so Lexie could control him too. After they both finished this moment of sexiness and hotness. Mark leaned back next to Lexie and they both breathed heavily.

"So why blond?" Mark asked and played with Lexie´s hair.

"I don´t know. An experiment maybe?" she replied. It got silent again. Suddenly Lexie started to giggle and Mark looked at her confused.

"What? What is so funny?" he meant and smiled when Lexie turned over to him and looked him in the eyes.

"I forgot how great this is. I mean I remembered that it was great but that´s...that proved me that I forgot it." Lexie giggled.

"So you´re satisfied?" Mark smirked and Lexie leaned over to him.

"More than ever before." she giggled and kissed him. Again their kiss got more passionate then they thought it would be and suddenly Lexie sat on Mark. Just when he was about to enter her again she stopped him.

"The dinner´s waiting for us." she meant with her hand on his chest and his hands on her ass.

"Let´s skip dinner. We´ve got more important things to do." he meant and made her laugh before she came down and kissed him again. They repeated the great sex they had before.

* * *

Teddy waited for the elevator to come and pressed the button a few times impatiently. She sighed relieved when the doors opened and stepped in after some doctors and nurse left elevator. She was about to press the button when someone shouted to stop the doors of the elevator so she did it and saw a man in a wheelchair rolling through the doors and stopping in the corner of the elevator.

"Which one?" she asked and pointed on the buttons.

"Fourth." he said and she pressed the fourth and the button to the floor she needed.

"You don´t remember me huh? Doctor Teddy Altman, cardio-thoracic surgeon." the man joked and Teddy turned around. Now she recognized the man in the wheelchair.

"Of course. Henry Burton, tumor-patient." she smiled. "How did the proposal go?"

"Well, not so good. She said no." Henry admitted.

"Oh I´m sorry." Teddy replied.

"Oh...no problem...she was right. I liked her. But I liked her p.P.O. more." Henry said disappointed.

"You don´t have an insurance?" Teddy asked surprised and Henry shook his head.

"Capped out about three operations ago. I´ve been charging it on my credit cards." Henry meant.

"Who´s your surgeon?" she asked.

"Doctor Webber. But not for long they´re discharging me today." he replied looking down at his hands.

"You have a pretty dangerous tumor. They´re not just throw you out on the street." Teddy meant and Henry looked at her but quickly down on his hands again. "You know what? Let me see what I can do."

"Look," Henry said and their gazes met. "I don´t know how much your fee is...uh, but..but I´m sure I can´t afford it." Henry said sadly.

"Let me do it." Teddy meant and smiled.

* * *

"Derek..." Meredith said quietly and came closer to her fiancé. "I called her."

"Who?" Derek asked confused.

"My gyn. I called her. She said that I can come tomorrow. We can come tomorrow." she explained smiling.

"Really? Mer that´s great!" Derek said and kissed her. "Want to celebrate this with a brain aneurysm?" he chuckled and showed her the chart. She took it and smiled.

"Of course!" she replied and they were about to go when Webber showed up behind them.

"Doctor Grey!" he called her and the couple turned around. "Do you want to have a solo operation? Pancreatic carcinoma." Meredith switched gaze between the men.

"Mer...you can clip the aneurysm." she looked at Derek.

"You can do the whole operation." she looked at Richard.

"Neuro is your destination." she looked at Derek again.

"You will be a general surgeon as great as your mother." she looked at Richard again.

"Mer.." eyes on Derek.

"Doctor Grey." eyes on Richard.

"Enough!" Meredith shouted and closed her eyes. "I don´t want this!" She looked at Richard. "I told you I´m not going to choose my specialty yet!" she looked at Derek. "And I love you. But I don´t want you to fight with the chief because of some stupid things." she looked at the floor. "I think I´m going to the e.r. I don´t want to be in an o.r. with someone who tells me how great my mother was." eyes on Richard. "And also not with someone who thinks he has a god complex and tells me that I can do something but then does in on his own." eyes on Derek. She sighed before turning on her heel and leaving. Richard and Derek looked at each other mad before Derek gave him a fake smile and Richard replied it also with a fake smile.

"Doctor Webber."

"Doctor Shepherd."

* * *

"Hello Izzie. Why don´t you sleep already?" Bailey asked when she entered the room. "It´s almost 10 p.m."

"You don´t need to do this. I forgave Alex. We´re back together. You don´t need to be my friend anymore and look after me." Izzie said.

"Well, I am still your friend and I´m happy for you. But I am still your doctor and I´m just doing my night rounds. So how are you feeling?"

"I´m fine. My vitals are good and my blood pressure normal again. I don´t feel dizzy and thanks to the morphine I ordered my headache is gone. And oh...look, my cute boyfriend´s here with my tea. Thanks babe." she said happily when Alex entered the room and gave her a cup of tea. He looked to Miranda and gave her a shy smile which she replied.

"Okay...visitor time is over. And you need to rest. You´ve got your brain operation tomorrow. And I dare you not to be fit enough for the surgery." Bailey said harsh but smiling.

"I´m leaving in five minutes." Alex promised and Miranda nodded closing Izzie´s chart.

"Then I tell Webber that I want my surgeries back,..see you tomorrow." she meant and closed the door behind her.

* * *

"What are you thinking about?" Mark asked when he laid on his side, holding his head with his hand and staring at Lexie who laid on her back staring at the ceiling.

"Nothing." Lexie, who was wrapped in the blanket answered not looking at Mark.

"You´re sure?" he wanted to know and now Lexie turned her head towards him.

"I am." she said. Mark smiled and leaned over to kiss her. She replied the kiss immediately but ended it before it got to passionate.

"Okay..." she said pressing her lips together and clapping him on the shoulder. "I´ll go."

"Go? Where?" Mark asked confused when Lexie sat up.

"This nice guest who originally booked the room allowed me to sleep in the other bedroom. I don´t want to bother him." she smiled and wanted to step out of the bed when Mark wrapped his arms around her.

"You would never bother me." he said while pulling her back in the bed and on him which caused her to let out a little scream. She giggled what made him grin and they looked at each other.

"But I´m to tired for a third round." she admitted yawning.

"It´s okay." Mark meant and but a streak of her hair behind her ear. "We can just sleep here...next to each other...enjoy the time we spend together." Lexie smiled and pt her head on his chest. She closed her eyes and started breathing calmly.

"I love you." Mark whispered believing she already fell asleep. But she didn´t and heard it which caused her to smile.

* * *

"A medic alert bracelet?" Teddy asked shocked when she, Webber and the management sat in the conference room and talked about Henry. "That´s your solution?"

"The patient has a high-potential crisis-" the the manager wanted to say but Webber interrupted him.

"When,...when he has a high-potential crisis." Webber corrected him.

"The paramedics." the manager continued ignoring Webber. "That bring mister Burton her, will be will treat his emergent condition."

"Yeah, that will be too late." Teddy noticed. "He´ll be dead." A scary silent ruled the room. "So you´re sending him home to die, but you´re okay with it because you´re giving him a bracelet with his name on it."

"Doctor Altman, that´s not our intent-" the manager wanted to say but she cut him off.

"Then what? What is your intention? To save money by sending someone home who need permanent medical treatment?" Teddy asked mad.

"That´s not-" she interrupted the manager again.

"Then tell me! What is it?" she wanted to know.

"If you let me finish my sentence once then I´ll-"

"No! I won´t! Because everything you say is nonsense crap!"

"Doctor Altman. Please. Leave this room." Webber ordered and Teddy looked at him.

"Why? Because I want to help a man? Because I-"

"Now!" Richard said harsh and Teddy looked at him a few seconds before staring at the manager who looked at his papers and played with a pen.

"Fine. I´ll go. If you want to kill this patient do it." Teddy meant and stood up shutting the door close.

* * *

Cristina sat in the bed next to Owen watching her show and eating Chinese food.

"Oh Owen that´s the part you like the most." she said pointing on the TV. When he didn´t reply she turned around and saw him sleeping. She turned the TV off and put the blanket over him. By putting the food boxes down on the floor she meant it was cleaned up and watched him breathing peacefully. She stroke over his beard before closing her eyes and also falling asleep.

* * *

"Okay Iz...I´ll go. I look after Denny first and then I go home." Alex meant and kissed Izzie on her forehead.

"Okay. Please be here again when I get operated." she meant holding his hand.

"Of course I will. And...could you please forgive Mer and Cristina and...and Lexie? It´s not their fault that I screwed up." Alex said sorrowful and Izzie nodded. "Okay good night."

"Good night. I love you." Izzie called after him when he was about to leave the room.

"Will you marry me?" Alex asked and closed his mouth shocked about what he said.

* * *

Henry sat on his patient bed, his bag packed and his normal clothes on his body.

"I´ve prescribed alpha-blockers and set you up in the free clinic. If you need anything...call me. We see you through this." Webber explained and gave him some drugs and his phone number.

"Thank you." Henry said quietly and nodded. Webber replied it and left the room. The no-longer patient put the medicine into his back when Teddy entered the room.

"Hey. Um..I tried...I´m sorry..I..uh-." she meant looking down at her shoes.

"It´s okay...I´ll be fine." Henry lied. "Doctor Webber slipped me some free samples, so um..I´m good for a while."

"Good, good." Teddy meant and it got silent in the room. "Well, good luck." Teddy said and Henry nodded standing up and going towards the door. "I...I have a great medical insurance." Teddy said before he left the room. Henry turned around and looked her in the eyes.

"Way to kick a man when he´s down." Henry smiled but wasn´t happy at all.

"I´m saying...I´m...I´m saying that...I´m saying that I´ll marry you." Teddy stuttered and rubbed her forehead.

"Uh...that´s a really generous offer but I can´t." Henry explained overwhelmed.

"I´m a doctor. I took an oath, and I can´t leave you now any more than I could leave you bleeding out in the street." Teddy meant and Henry swallowed.

"This is absurd." he said. "You aware of that? You´re gonna regret it deeply in the morning." Teddy smiled by him saying these words and he had to smile too.

"You´re dying. Henry you´re dying." she tried to make him clear and he looked down at his shoes. "But you don´t have to, cause I can help. I mean it. I´ll marry you." Teddy said looking Henry deeply in his eyes waiting for an answer while he stared at her unsure to believe her or not.


	22. Regretting what I said

**Should I start and end the chapter with poetical monologues like every episode starts and ends? I´ll try it in this chapter and you tell me if you like it or not. It´s going to be written centered and cursive so you know.**

 **Oh and welcome our new character. It is...**

* * *

 **Regretting what I said**

 _Thinking. Doing. Hoping._

 _The order of how we do things._

 _We think about doing something. We do it. And then we hope it was right._

"Will you marry me?" Alex asked and widened his eyes shocked about what he just said. Silence. Izzie looked at him also shocked and unsure what to answer.

 _Will the things work out like they should? Will I regret it the minute I said it?_

 _Is my plan logical? Will anybody understand my acting?_

"Teddy I really don´t know if this is okay. I mean it´s kinda a deception. And I don´t want you to do something because you commiserate." Henry meant.

"I do not commiserate. I want it. I want to marry you and enable you health." Teddy made clear.

"And what will doctor Webber say?"

 _Was it a mistake? Would it have been better to resist my craving for doing this?_

 _How can I undo it? Or was it better to speak it out?_

Lexie was tired but couldn´t fall asleep. She laid on Mark´s chest her eyes opened looking around and listening to his heartbeat. She thought about Meredith, about how she tried to keep her away from Mark since the very beginning knowing he would hurt her. She thought about her dad, telling her it would be a mistake to date an older man who maybe has completely different interests. She thought about Derek, and how Mark couldn´t keep any promise he made. She thought about Callie, sleeping with Mark and maybe wanting him back since Arizona was gone. She was thinking about Mark. The way she felt when he´s around and the way he smiled at her when he saw her coming towards him. But she also thought about the pain she felt because of him and how terrible it was to fall asleep the nights he wasn´t with her. She thought that maybe it was a mistake to sleep with him.

 _What will happen next? Will it make problems?_

 _Will it get more complicated than it is right now?_

 _Thinking. Doing. Hoping. And often...regretting._

* * *

"Doctor Grey, doctor Shepherd. Thanks for waiting." Meredith´s gynecologist greeted them and took them to her office. "We have your results, doctor Grey."

"And?" Derek asked hoping.

"Well, you´re fertile." the gyn said and Derek sighed relieved.

"But?" Meredith asked suspicious noticing the look her gyn had.

"A hostile uterus." Meredith shouted madly going down the street.

"Mer. Please stop." Derek begged running after her.

"How can this woman dare to call my uterus hostile. I have a cosy uterus. Babies would love my uterus." she explained still walking fast.

"I´m sure you´re right." Derek agreed. "Please stop running. Mer." he tried to grab her hand but failed.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Mark asked quietly, rubbing his eyes and turning from his side on his back, still naked and his waist wrapped in the blanket, watching Lexie packing her stuff.

"I´m leaving." she said quickly and put up her lingerie from last night and put it in her bag.

"Leaving? It´s...8 o´clock. Why do you want to leave yet?" Mark asked still confused and disappointed that Lexie already wore normal clothes.

"I have a shift starting in five hours and until I arrive at Mer´s and change my clothes and maybe can get some sleep again...I didn´t get much last night." she smiled thinking about the great sex they had yesterday.

"It would be easier if you would live in our apartment again." Mark claimed.

"I think we should take it slow." Lexie explained biting her lower lip.

"Last night you thought different." Mark smirked which caused Lexie to giggle.

"Yeah but I think everything happened a bit too fast with all the struggles I had..have..anyway. It was a great night with a great man and I would repeat it again if I had time. But I need to drive home and get some rest." Lexie confessed and kissed Mark softly.

"You´re sure?" he asked acting sad. Lexie leaned in and kissed him again. This time longer.

"I really need to go...before I get into a traffic jam." she whispered only inches away from his mouth. Mark grabbed her by her waist and pulled her back into bed and started kissing her passionately.

"Maybe I can pass a half hour of sleep." she chuckled and put off her shirt again.

* * *

"Good morning mister Burton. I heard that you could stay at the hospital for your treatments. Did your girlfriend say yes?" Webber entered Henry´s room.

"Well, in fact she said no..." Henry confessed.

"So you could get the money to afford it?" Webber asked smiling.

"Well, I found another woman to marr-" Henry wanted to reply when Teddy entered the room with some papers and every doctor looked at her.

"Oh..sorry..I didn´t want to interrupt you. I´ll just come later again." she meant awkwardly and turned around.

"No no, you can stay...are these the papers I should sign?" Henry asked and pointed on them in Teddy´s hand. She looked down not knowing what to answer.

"Yes..You know what I..We´ll do it later." Teddy tried to avoid doing this in front of her chief.

"Oh no we don´t want to disturb this if it´s important." Webber said and showed Teddy to come in again which she did.

"It´s not...so important that we can´t do it in ten minutes." Teddy claimed.

"But why waist time with discussing. I bet you´ve got a case later. And I finally want my health insurance." Henry said smiling and Teddy gasped and looked at Richard and the other doctors which looked confused. "She´s my fiancé." Henry smiled and Webber looked at Teddy unbelievable and she closed her eyes and looked down ashamed.

* * *

"Good morning." Cristina greeted her boyfriend when he came to the kitchen. "You want some cereals?"

"Um...no thanks.." Owen replied looking around having headache. "Can you give me a glass of water?"

"Sure,...everything´s okay?" Cristina asked and filled cold water into a glass.

"Yeah,...it´s just...I got a headache." he meant taking the glass and drank from it.

"Maybe you should take a day off...it´s so stressful at work...maybe you just need to relax." she said carrying but Owen shook his head.

"No it´s okay I will take a pill and it will get better soon." Owen hoped and Cristina nodded when suddenly her phone rang.

"Derek...I need to answer this." she meant and pointed on her phone. Owen nodded and so she answered the call.

"Derek...hi?...uh...okay...um...sure...I´ll be right there." she meant hanging up. "It´s about Mer...I..I need to go." she explained and Owen nodded.

"Sure...see you at work." he meant after she kissed him and left the apartment.

* * *

"Mer...Cristina is coming." Derek meant when he put his phone back into his pocket and watched Meredith sitting on the bench in the resident´s locker room.

"You told her? I...maybe I didn´t want her to know!" Meredith answered still mad.

"You didn´t want her to know? Mer you two don´t have any secret you don´t share." Derek said sarcastically. Meredith didn´t reply and just shook her head.

"A hostile uterus...I hate this woman." she shouted and Derek sat down next to her. He put his arm around her and kissed her head after she put it on his shoulder.

"She didn´t say that it´s impossible. She just said that the chances are less than from other women. But we can still try it and who knows...maybe we will succeed." he comforted her and she started smiling weakly. They sat like that, Meredith in Derek´s arms, and didn´t say anything when Cristina entered the locker room. Derek gave her a short smile and stood up to leave the room so they could talk.

"Mer...I...you know I´m not good at these things...but I..I feel really sorry for you being infertile." Cristina meant sitting down next to her best friend.

"I´m not..infertile...I have a hostile uterus.." Meredith explained confused.

"Okay so...Babies don´t like your uterus..but..the the positive thing is that you can get kids." Cristina said and Meredith looked at her unbelievable.

"You are really bad at this." she meant and Cristina couldn´t help but smile which caused Meredith to smile.

"I know...You want to talk about it?" Cristina asked but Meredith shook her head. "You want me to leave?" Meredith again shook her head. "You want just to sit here and do nothing?" Meredith looked down at her shoes and shook her head another time. "I know what you need." Cristina said standing up and having Meredith´s confused look at her. She grabbed her phone and turned on some music.

"Dance it out!" she chuckled but Meredith remained sitting. "Oh come on Mer...you need to get off the dark and twisty side of you..30 seconds dance party." Cristina meant and pointed on her friend.

"You are...I don´t know what you are." Meredith giggled and stood up to dance.

"I´m your person." Cristina smiled and Meredith arched her eyebrows.

"My person?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yes. Whenever you need something, or feel bad or need to dance it out I´m here. I´m your person. And you´re mine." Cristina stopped dancing and grabbed Meredith´s hands.

"And now what? Shall we hug?" the blond woman joked.

"For god´s sake we are not that kind of people." Cristina laughed and the girls continued dancing when suddenly Alex came into the room. Both of the girls stopped and looked at him. They haven´t really talked with him since the whole thing with Izzie.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi" both replied and watched him going to his locker.

"How´s it going?" Meredith asked him just to be friendly.

"Good, good...well, Izzie took me back so-"

"She did what?" Cristina asked loud.

"Yeah,..she forgave me...or not..but she took me back."

"Congratulations Evil Spawn. You´re the only one I know who can screw up without consequences." Cristina jiggled and Alex got mad.

"I felt the consequences...I felt terrible lying to Izzie and causing the end of another relationship. But I can´t undo it now. And it´s important that Izzie wants me back and that we´re getting married and have a futu-"

"Wait. What? Getting married?" Meredith asked confused and a bit mad and Alex calmed down a bit.

"Yes. I proposed and she said yes." he explained and the two women looked at each other.

"Well, then...congratulations..you got you´re happy ending and Lexie lost hers." Meredith meant and went towards the door followed by Cristina.

"Hey...I never meant to ruin her relationship and to hurt someone." Alex justified his acting.

"But you did." Meredith replied and left the room with Cristina leaving Alex behind.

"Damn it!" he cursed and hit against his locker with his fist.

* * *

Lexie´s phone rang while she was driving her car so she answered it and put it on loudspeaker.

"Hello?" she greeted asking.

"Good Morning. Alexandra Grey?" a man who´s voice didn´t sound familiar asked.

"Um..yes?" Lexie continued talking in questions.

"Are you the sister of Molly Grey?" the man wanted to know.

"Yes. Why? Did something happen?" Lexie worried.

"She´s at the Mercy West Hospital. She had a car crash and told us you were her only relative."

"Oh my god. I´m..I´m on the way to Seattle right now. I´m there as fast as I can." Lexie promised.

"Good. We just wanted to inform you that she´s going into labor right now."

"What?! Molly? She´s pregnant?" Lexie asked shouting.

"You didn´t know?"

"No I..didn´t...okay I´m there soon." Lexie said before hanging up. A half hour later she parked in front of the Mercy West and ran into the the hospital to the information desk.

"I´m Alexandra Grey...I´m..my sister is here she had a car crash. Molly...Molly Grey." Lexie explained to the nurse breathless.

"Um yeah she´s..." the nurse meant scrolling down the computer. "She´s in patient room 2953 in the gynecologist wing."

"Thanks." Lexie smiled and ran to the elevator. She slowed down when she reached the patient room her sister was and entered it.

"Hey." Molly meant huskily and Lexie replied it with a smile while coming closer.

"I know you´re mad. You didn´t hear of me for months and then out of sudden I call you from the hospital." Molly continued.

"Why didn´t you tell me?" Lexie wanted to know.

"Tell you what?" Molly acted silly.

"About your pregnancy. I could have helped you..with money or I don´t know." Lexie explained and sat down on her sister´s bed.

"You were studying...I didn´t want to bother you with my problems." Molly said and took Lexie´s hand. "You´re aunt of a beautiful baby girl."

"What´s her name?" Lexie smiled.

"Laura."

"That´s a cute name." Lexie admitted and both giggled. "Who´s the father?"

"Eric Thompson."

"Your crush from high school? Really?"

"Yes. We´re a couple since two years and we´re gonna get married soon. But he´s in Iraq in the army so he couldn´t be here. But you are. And now tell me. How´s it going? How´s dad? Does he still drink? And what happened in your life?"

"Dad visited group meetings. He was sober for three months...then he got a addicted again. I have a boyfriend..or don´t have..it´s complicated. Meredith´s going to get married and I live with her since dad beat me while thinking I was our mother. That´s it."

"He beat you?"

"Yeah..I don´t really want to talk about it." Lexie admitted and a sad silence filled the air.

"And your boyfriend-not-boyfriend?" Molly grinned.

"He´s nice...he´s hot..he´s the head of plastic surgery..he´s sweet and-"

"You know that´s not the thing I want to know." Molly grinned. "Did you finally have sex?" she asked excited and Lexie couldn´t help but smiled. "Oh my god really? You´re not a virgin anymore?"

"No I´m not and could you please don´t scream it through the whole hospital?" Lexie giggled and Molly closed her mouth.

"And is it good?"

"Better."

* * *

"You married a patient?" Webber shouted at Teddy when they were in his office.

"Well, technically we´re just engaged." Teddy tried to make the situation less awkward but earned a mad look from her chief. "They wanted to send him home to die. I wanted to help."

"By marrying him?!" Webber asked still not understanding her acting.

"It was the only way he could have a good health insurance." Teddy explained walking up and down the room and holding her forehead. "It´s just on paper. Not like it was with Izzie Stevens and this heart patient."

"Doctor Altman. You are a great surgeon and I respect your professional opinions and give you your freedom to do what you want – in your work. But what if the management hears this? This is a really stupid thing to do when we need to fire employees." Webber spilled the secret.

"You are firing the employees?" Teddy stopped walking and looked at Webber seriously.

"That´s not the point. The point is that this is more than just an inappropriate relationship." Richard tried to change the topic.

"This hospital is full with inappropriate relationships. Look at Shepherd and Grey, or Sloan and the other Grey. Owen and Cristina. All these are inappropriate relationships. Izzie Stevens stole a heart for her fiancé and never got fired. So why is it inappropriate to help a patient?" Teddy asked now also mad. Webber looked down and took off his glasses to rub his eyes.

"I want you to leave my office. Now." Webber said exhausted.

"You wouldn´t talk to me like that if I was Shepherd or Bailey." Teddy crossed her arms over her chest and bit on her lower lip madly.

"Doctor Altman...don´t take it too far. And now leave!" Webber warned her and after she shook her head she stormed out of his office heading to Henry´s room.

"I´m sorry. I thought Webber already knew this." Henry excused him for letting the secret out.

"It´s okay...he thinks it´s inappropriate and that I´m making a mistake but it´s not. I want to help." Teddy claimed and Henry tried to find out if she was lying.

"Well, it is inappropriate...kinda." he giggled and so did Teddy.

"Let´s sign these papers. I made an appointment at the court on Monday. We can get married in two days." Teddy explained bringing the papers to Henry.

"Wow, that´s going fast. Do you know where the honey moon will take place?" Henry joked.

"In the o.r." she laughed and gave him a pen so he could sign.

* * *

"Okay doctor Stev-...Izzie. Are you ready for your surgery?" Derek asked when he entered Izzie´s room.

"A brain surgery where I can lose my memory. Sounds fun." Izzie joked.

"You don´t have to be scared. We´re doing a test before the surgery. I inject you a medicament which works like the operation and we will see how it goes. If it goes bad we don´t do it." Derek explained and Izzie nodded. "Then I will bring you down to the ct. Meredith´s waiting for us there." he continued and wanted to call some nurses so they carry Izzie there.

"Oh wait. Can we please wait for Alex?" Izzie asked holding Derek´s arm.

"Alex? Are you two..?" Derek was confused.

"He proposed...I said yes. He´s my fiance now." Izzie explained smiling and so did Derek.

"Well, then...Congratulations." he said and hugged his patient.

"Thank you." Izzie replied happily. The nurses started to carry Izzie´s bed to the radiology where Meredith and Izzie´s oncologist waited.

"I´m not a big fan of this way to operate doctor Stevens." the oncology doctor told her and Meredith rolled her eyes behind her.

"For now, we´re just trying what could happen after the operation." Meredith said faking a smile which caused Izzie to giggle quietly. Izzie laid down into the ct machine and Meredith showed her a bunch cards.

"Okay Iz. I am going to show you-" Meredith wanted to explain but Izzie cut her off.

"A series of images that you want me to try to remember, once Derek put the anesthetic in my brain." Izzie continued for her and Derek nodded. "Okay...show me what we got." Izzie meant and Meredith showed her the first card with a dog on it.

"Is that a schnauzer or a scotty? How specific do I need to be?" Izzie asked.

"Dog´s fine." Derek meant and noted something into her chart while Meredith showed the next card with a plane on it.

"So there´s 727 or 747." Izzie meant seeing the picture.

"Plane.." Derek meant awkwardly and Meredith had to smile and showed her the last card with a villa on it.

"Oh..two-story Victorian mansion." the patient meant immediately.

"We would also except the word house." Derek explained smiling and noted something.

"Schnauzer, 747, mansion,.." Izzie repeated again and again getting more quiet with every time.

"Or.. dog, plane, house." Derek made the room smile with his corrections. He told her he would start the procedure now when suddenly Alex entered the room.

"Alex" Izzie recognized him while getting drove into the machine.

"Doctor Karev. Almost too late." Shepherd grinned when Alex came in and put on a protective shell.

"Can you hold my hand?" Izzie asked nervously.

"I can´t reach your hand...but I can hold your foot." Alex explained.

"Foot is good." Izzie meant before Alex covered off her foot and held it.

* * *

Owen came down the hallway throwing an apple up in the air and catching it again when he noticed a blond woman standing with her back to him.

"Doctor Robbins?" He asked from the distance but the woman didn´t reply so he came closer and tapped on her shoulder. "Arizona Robbins?" the woman turned around and looked him in the eyes so he could see that it´s not Arizona.

"I´m sorry...I thought you were someone different." Owen apologized.

"Oh no problem. I´m Lucy Fields. I´m the new head of peds. And head of gyn." she smiled and held out her hand which Owen shook.

"Doctor Fields I-" Teddy joined them with a chart but stopped talking when she saw Owen. "Doctor Hunt." she meant dryly and Owen replied with a nod.

"Well, then...I´m going to leave you two alone. Great that you found new friends so soon." Owen said sarcastically and still mad at Teddy. "It was nice to meet you." he turned towards Lucy and smiled.

"Nice to meet you too." Lucy answered confused and looked to Teddy after Owen left. "Was that your ex?" she asked almost whispering.

"Ex-best friend." Teddy replied watching Owen leaving. Lucy nodded and also watched him. Then she turned to Teddy.

"So what´s up?" she asked and Teddy shook the thoughts about Owen off.

"Oh well, I have a 5 months year old girl with histiocytoid cardiomyopathy. I wanted to ask you for help since we make a great team and I need a pediatrist." the cardio-surgeon smiled and showed Lucy the chart.

"Sounds fun. When´s the surgery?" Lucy wanted to know looking at the information.

"Three hours." Teddy answered and Lucy gave her the chart back.

"See you in three hours." Lucy smiled and Teddy turned around and left nodding.

* * *

"So as I can see in your chart you don´t have any damage in your body and your baby is healthy too..." Lexie meant reading every single piece of paper in her sister´s chart.

"You want to know if I´m okay with you leaving, am I right?" Molly asked smiling weakly.

"No..no..I do not want.." Lexie lied.

"It´s okay you can go. You have to save lives." Molly comforted her sister which was biting on her lip because she got detected.

"Oh ma´am you´re not allowed to see in the patients chart. Only if you are a doctor." a young man in lab coat entered the room.

"I am a doctor." Lexie replied sassy.

"Really? I never saw you here before. Are you new?" the man clearly flirted.

"I am a doctor in another hospital." Lexie tried to avoid eye contact with the light blue eyes of the pretty boy.

"Then I´m not breaking my rule." he smiled and Molly switched gaze between the flirting doctor and her sister.

"Which rule?" Lexie smiled and turned towards him.

"To not go out with co-workers." he winked and Lexie avoided to laugh.

"Are you hitting on me? In a hospital?" she asked smiling.

"My name´s Jackson Avery." he held out his hand and Lexie shook it.

"Lexie Grey..- wait...Avery as in the Harper-Avery award." Lexie asked shocked and Jackson looked down on his shoes.

"What´s the Harper-Avery award?" Molly asked confused.

"Well, that´s one of the most important awards a surgeon could get." Lexie´s eyes widened when Jackson rubbed the back of his hairless head and looked at her.

"Well, Harper Avery is my grandfather. And now you only want to go out with me because I´m related to him." Jackson said disappointed.

"Sorry. I still don´t want to go out with you. I have a boyfriend." Lexie admitted and Jackson sighed.

"You could have told me before it wouldn´t have been so embarrassing." he chuckled and so did Lexie. Suddenly her phone rang and she saw Webber´s name on the display.

"I´m..I´m sorry I gotta go..my boss..." Lexie meant and pointed on her phone.

"Where are you working?" Jackson asked while Lexie put off her bag and jacket.

"Seattle Grace Hospital." Lexie meant hugging her sister. "And you call me sometimes. I don´t want to hear from a nurse that you´re pregnant again." she warned her sister smiling.

"So then we will be co-workers soon." Jackson noticed and Lexie looked confused. "Because of the fusion. The Seattle Grace – Mercy West fusion? You have no idea what I´m talking about."

"I´m sorry I really don´t have any clue...which fusion?" Lexie asked shocked.

"I think it´s better if you ask your boss." Jackson pointed on Lexie´s phone which rang again. Lexie nodded and shook his hand before leaving.

"Nice to meet you." she meant and headed to her car.

"Nice to meet you too." Jackson called after her and smiled.

* * *

"Okay it´s finished..let´s test if she can remember." Derek said after the pictures of Izzie´s scan were finished.

"I really hope you were right, doctor Shepherd." the oncologist hoped and Derek smirked.

"I´m always right." he replied which caused the oncologist to roll her eyes and Meredith to giggle. Izzie drove out of the ct machine and Alex took her hand. She looked at him confused and then to Meredith.

"Okay Izzie..I showed you three cards a few minutes ago. Do you remember them?" she asked smiling and Izzie switched her gaze onto the ceiling. She moved her mouth but no words came out.

"It´s okay take your time." Meredith tried to comfort her but looked to Derek and Alex nervously. Izzie looked again at Meredith and tried to form words but nothing came out than noises nobody could understand.

"Iz.." Alex meant tears welling up his eyes.

"Karev..don´t." Derek warned him and came closer to his patient.

"It´s dog..the first card was dog do you remember?" Meredith asked smiling and Izzie still looked around confused.

"Do you remember my name?" Meredith asked when Izzie looked at her again.

"No Mer..only the cards." Derek meant and controlled Izzie´s eyes with a flashlight.

"Izzie...do you know who Alex is?" Meredith ignored Derek.

"Mer!" Derek shouted which caused Izzie to get even more nervous. She looked around and switched her gaze between all the doctors in the scan room still unable to speak.

"You´re always right huh?" the oncologist asked which caused Derek to roll his eyes madly.

* * *

 _We can´t control how things work out. We can´t influence them._

 _We need to decide. Do I want to do this or not?_

"Doctor Webber? Hey I´m sorry to be so late...I had to visit my sister she is in hospital." Lexie excused herself entering Webber´s office.

"It´s okay. I just wanted to make sure that you didn´t forget about coming here. We need our best interns as long as we can have them..now that we are losing...anyway. I´m glad you´re here." Richard nodded and Lexie arched her eyebrows.

"Yeah..I wanted to ask about the fusion. I didn´t hear of it and a resident at the Mercy West told me about it." Lexie explained and Webber showed her to sit down and so she did.

"Our financial situation is the worst we had. There were two options. Closing the hospital and everybody losing his job or a fusion with the Mercy West. I decided for the fusion. But you have to know that I tried everything to avoid this but...the management either closing the hospital or the fusion." Richard explained and Lexie nodded.

"But is there enough room for the personal of two hospitals?" Lexie worried and Webber looked down on his hands.

"We are solving this problem right now." Webber tried to avoid telling her the truth.

"What do you mean? How?" Lexie asked but her chief didn´t answer and still didn´t look her in the eyes. "You´re firing the personal, aren´t you?" Webber now looked up which proved Lexie´s thought. "Oh my god." she said shocked.

"Please, do not tell anybody for now. I´m going to announce it soon." Webber promised and Lexie leaned back in her chair.

 _People will never understand why we´re doing something._

 _They will always judge us._

 _Although we know that we are able to do something, they won´t believe us._

 _They believe they´re right._

 _They believe we´re doing it because we want to prove something._

"This was just a test. It doesn´t mean that after the operation she doesn´t remember anything." Derek tried to convince Alex when he and his fiancé were again in her patient room.

"No Shepherd. You´re not going to operate on Izzie´s brain after this test." Alex told him mad.

"Alex. Come on." Izzie took his hand and tried to calm him down.

"No Iz. You couldn´t remember anything. You couldn´t speak. You didn´t know who I was and these were the worst minutes I had. I don´t want to have this forever." Alex explained to her with tears in his eyes. Derek looked down on the floor.

"Look, maybe you think a night about it but if we don´t operate soon the tumor can spread again or she dies because of a stroke or other complications it could cause." Derek let them know.

"Thank you Derek. We really appreciate this and we will tell you our decision tomorrow." Izzie talked for her and Alex.

"Of course. Good night you two" Derek meant and went towards the door. "But Izzie...no one can take over your job to decide about your health." he said before leaving the couple behind.

 _I know it. You know it. We often make mistakes._

 _We often do things we know are bad, but at that moment, the moment we do it, it looks right._

 _I always think about my mother´s words. "The carousel never stops running."_

 _As kid I never understood what she meant but now I do._

Callie sat on her couch at home watching American bake off and crying trying to call Mark when suddenly someone knocked at her door.

"Mark? Are you back?" she asked standing up and going towards the door wiping away the tears. "I need to talk to you. Thank god you´re.." she opened the door but it wasn´t Mark who stood in front of her. "Arizona?"

 _Once happened, once said you can´t undo it._

 _And it will cause more and more things to happen and it won´t stop._

"Hey..." Arizona smiled with tears in her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Callie asked dryly.

"Imagine that I´m at Hopkins. A great hospital with a great pediatrics unit and personal I still know and love from my previous time. And I have great cases, complicated cases and I can help tiny human. Everybody´s happy and everything´s fine but something´s missing. Someone´s missing. And as wonderful it was as unhappy was I. And now I´m back at Seattle Grace. And I immediately went here to see you. I want you back Calliope. I love you." Arizona cried smiling. Callie didn´t reply. She looked at the blond woman unbelievable and sighed.

 _So we´re thinking about the problems it could cause._

 _We´re doing it after being sure that it´s good._

 _And then we´re hoping. Hoping that it was right to do it._

"You want me back?" she asked and Arizona nodded. "Since ten minutes I know that I´m pregnant with Mark Sloan´s baby. You still want me back?" Callie asked and Arizona gasped.

 _And often...we´re regretting._


	23. True love

**Sorry people this chapter is real crap. Just wanted to say.**

 **True love**

* * *

 _As kid I always wondered what true love means._

 _Is it that you really love someone and don´t want to ever be with someone else?_

 _That you intend to spend the rest of your life with someone?_

 _That this someone is your perfect match?_

"Good morning beautiful." Derek woke his girlfriend by kissing her cheek.

"Let me sleep...I need to be fit today." Meredith jiggled when Derek wrapped his arms around her.

"Me too...well, if Izzie and Alex agree to the surgery." Derek stopped hugging her and laid back on his back.

"Oh come on...they are smart..they will make the right decision." Meredith turned to her love. "Let´s talk about something different."

"Like what? Our babies we can´t get?" Derek replied without thinking, causing Meredith to press her lips together. "I´m..I´m sorry..I didn´t want to...I´m sorry."  
"No it´s okay...I´m sorry that I can give you the future you wanted." Meredith turned around trying to push her tears back down.

"Mer...I love you no matter what...and as long as I´m with you I don´t need kids." Derek wrapped his arms around her kissing her neck again.  
"Derek let me go." she giggled and tried to get rid of him.

"Do you really want me to stop?" he laughed. Meredith laughed too and turned around to him and Derek stopped. "What?"

"Nothing...I..I just love you." she smiled before he gave her a soft kiss.

 _Or that you can forgive and take back?_

 _That no matter what, you always work things out and stay together?_

 _In good and in bad times?_

"I don´t know why you´re so mad. You don´t have any reason. You left me." Callie stood in the middle of the living room arguing with Arizona who went through the room nervously.

"I just don´t understand why. And why Mark." she shouted back.

"I was alone and he was there also alone...why does it bother you? You had another women for sure." Callie asked still mad.

"No I hadn´t! And I just...I mean he´s with Lexie, isn´t he? And only because I never wanted kids, you don´t need screw around and try to get pregnant-"

"Excuse me? You think I wanted to get pregnant? With another doctor´s boyfriend? Wow..you really think I´m such a whore, don´t you?" Callie asked shocked and Arizona stopped walking and looked at her.

"No..but it just seems like that. I mean I´m gone for a few weeks and come back to find out you´re pregnant." Arizona cam closer but Callie stepped back.  
"Don´t...don´t you dare to say something like that. You left me. You put your job over me..don´t you dare to call me a whore or something."  
"You broke up with me...you ended this not I." Arizona pointed on Callie saying this loud, mad and clear.

"Because you left me. You wanted to go back at Hopkins and I let you. But why does it bother you? We weren´t a couple, I didn´t cheat." Callie shouted.

"Because it´s Mark...I..I need to go."

"Yeah you should because I don´t want you in my apartment anymore." Callie made her clear. Arizona shook her head picked her bag up and went towards the door.

"I came back." she said with her face to the door. "I came back here...because of you." she turned around to face Callie. "I came back because I love you...and the pregnancy won´t change that." Arizona assured. Callie said nothing and Arizona nodded. "Okay." she said before opening the door and closing it behind her.

 _Does true love mean that you discuss everything with your partner?_

 _And that you only make decisions together?_

 _Or does true love mean that you give each other the space to decide on their own?_

 _To let them have their own choices?_

"You´re not gonna do this." Alex crossed his arms over his chest.

"Alex...I love you but this is my decision." Izzie tried to convince him. "And Derek is good. He´s the best neuro surgeon we know."

"Shepherd is good yeah, but it was the hell for me when you couldn´t remember anything." Alex went to Izzie´s bed and leaned over her.

"But that was just what could happen...It can work out." Izzie trusted Derek.

"You couldn´t remember the cards...you didn´t know who Meredith was..you..you didn´t know who I was...Izzie I could not handle it if this would be permanent..you are the love of my life..I don´t want to ever lose you." Alex sat down holding her hands looking deep into her eyes. Izzie replied nothing. She put her arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

"I love you too."

 _I always wanted to find true love...but does true love nowadays exist?_

* * *

Cristina and her interns did rounds when Lexie got text messages from Mark. She couldn´t stop smiling over the dirty minded things he sent her.

"Doctor Grey. Do you want to tell us what´s so funny that you don´t pay attention?" Cristina asked but it sounded more like an order.

"Um..I..I pay attention, I do..I just needed to..um.." Lexie stuttered looking at her resident and colleges making fun of her. Cristina looked at her harsh when Lexie´s phone beeped again and she risked a look at the display which caused her boss to rip the device out of her hands and read it loudly.

"I´ll put you on the desk with your face downside then I take a...uh..." Cristina looked from the phone up at Lexie who pressed her lips together and looked into different directions. The resident cleared her throat and gave the phone back.

"I think you should use your photographic memory by remembering charts and not..this messages from your boyfriend." she gave her an advice and the turned around finishing the rounds followed by her giggling interns and the embarrassed Lexie. After leaving the last patient room Cristina gave everyone something to do when she suddenly got interrupted by another intern running past them and crying badly.  
"Meghan..what´s wrong?" Steve asked worried when he could catch her hand.

"Webber fired me...I lost my job..and he fired others too.." the woman sobbed.

"What?" Cristina asked unbelievable.

"I don´t know why...he fired a lot of us. And he will fire more." Meghan cried and then ran away.

"Did you know something about that?" Steve asked Lexie, since he knew that she was one of Webber´s favorites. But Lexie shook her head.

"Of course she didn´t." Pierce said. "Interns that spread their legs for attendings don´t need to fear being fired." they both looked disgusted at Lexie.  
"Hey! Before you judge people because of with whom they are in love, you should find someone who wants you. And who knows maybe it is because doctor Grey has or had or god knows what, a relationship with doctor Sloan, but maybe – and I´m pretty sure that´s the reason – doctor Grey won´t be fired because she does an excellent job and is not a pain in her resident´s necks. And now go...I´m sure the patients I gave you don´t want to wait for their rectal examination." Cristina explained to them harshly and the two men left them behind.

"Thank you." Lexie said quietly and Cristina looked at her.

"Don´t think we´re friends now." she answered dryly and also left her.

* * *

"Doctor Robbins? You´re back?" Alex saw his favorite attending standing by the coffee-car.

"Doctor Karev. Hi!" she hugged him with a big smile on her face. "Good to see you. How´s it going?"

"Good, good. But what are you doing here? Is there a special case? Can I assist?" Alex asked snoopy.

"No...I got my job back..well, I ´m not head of peds again yet but...I´m sure I will be soon." Arizona took her coffee and waited for Alex to get his order.

"What was going on here? Something new? Was there a complete jerk instead of me?" Arizona giggled.

"No she..doctor Fields is a really good surgeon, she´s also head of the gynecology so it was great to work with her. She´s kinda bossy."

"And I´m not bossy?"

"Well, you know...you are the cute surgeon who´s talking rainbows and unicorns." Alex admitted and took the two coffees he ordered.

"I can be bossy too. I´m hardcore." Arizona tried to convince him while walking.

"I´m sure you are." Alex chuckled.

"Hey...a pediatric surgeon is the most hardcore badass of all." she protested but Alex continued chuckling.

"So why are you back here at Seattle Grace? Did you want to be part of the fusion?" Alex asked sipping from one coffee.

"Fusion?" she asked confused.

"You weren´t at doctor Webber´s office yet, were you? There will be a fusion of the Mercy West and us. And as you can hear in the intern´s locker room he is firing some of them." Alex explained and Arizona looked at him unbelievable.

"Why should Richard do this?" she asked and Alex shrugged.

"Ask him yourself. I need to go this way." he replied and pointed on another hallway.

"The oncology? Oh, right! How´s doctor Stevens?" the two of them stopped for a few seconds to finish their chat.

"She´s good...you know as good as you can be with her disease. She took me back...I think everything is okay again. At least we are engaged so..."

"Oh my god Alex...Congratulations!" Arizona hugged him again and he replied it.

"Thanks...but I think Lexie and Sloan are not together anymore.." he thought loud and Arizona rolled her eyes.

"Yeah...I already heard that...Anyway..it was nice to chat with you and I hoped Izzie gets better soon." Arizona pointed on the second coffee in Alex´ hand.

"Right...well, thank you and have a good day. See you around." Alex said while leaving her and she smiled at him. When Alex entered his fiancé´s room he heard her talking to herself.

"I know!" she shouted. "I just don´t know how to decide. I could die either way."

"Iz?" Alex asked confused looking at his girlfriend who talked with the wall.

"Alex...hi." she quickly looked at him and behaved like this didn´t happen.

"With whom were you talking?" he asked giving her the another cup of coffee.

"Denny..." she admitted looking down at the cup.

"Our baby?" he made fun of her.

"No...Denny Duquette."

"You still see him?" Alex asked worried and sat down next to her.

"I still have a tumor in my head." Izzie replied sarcastically.

"Right." Alex looked down on his hands.

"Good morning Izzie, doctor Karev." Derek and Meredith entered the room and stopped at the end of her bed where he put Izzie´s chart on the desk and looked at both. "Have made a decision yet?"

"I told you Shepherd, I´m not gonna let cut into Izzie´s brain." Alex stood up more aggressively than he should.

"Due all respect doctor Karev, I was asking the patient, not you." Derek tried to explain as calm and friendly as possible and then looked at Izzie again. "So? Have you, doctor Stevens, made a decision?" Izzie switched gaze between Derek who gave her a comforting smile, to Meredith who stayed in the background, to Denny´s ghost who stood in the corner behind Meredith leaning against the wall, and then to Alex who tried her to show with his eyes to say no.

"I..thought about it, and I talked to some people...or ghosts of people and I decided to try it. I want the operation."

"What?!" Alex, Meredith and Denny´s ghost said at once.

"Fine. I´ll write it on the o.r. board." Derek smiled triumphing.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait! You want what?!" Alex asked shocked.

"Iz, don´t you want to think about it a bit longer?" Meredith asked which caused Derek to look at her confused.

"Izzie...I don´t think that´s a good idea..." Denny came out of the corner and now stood directly behind Meredith.

"Izzie. I thought we decided not to have this surgery." Alex leaned over her but she pushed him away.

"No! You decided it. You made the decision for me. And..and there´s Denny Duquette right behind Mer, telling me not to have this operation." Izzie pointed on Mer who turned around but of course couldn´t see him. "And I´m sorry to say that, I will always love Denny. He will always have a place in my heart but I don´t want to see him because...because as long as I can see him..can..can talk to him and touch him I..I will feel sick. And I don´t want to feel sick. I want to feel the progress I´m making. So please Derek, please operate me so I can feel healthy." Izzie begged looking at Derek with her big, brown, puppy eyes.

* * *

"Doctor? Do you have time for an examination?" Lexie heard a man´s voice that sounded very familiar and turned around to face Mark.

"It depends on which symptoms you have." she smiled and Mark came closer.

"Well, my stomach feels really tingly, my heart beats very fast and not to mention what happens under my belt." he leaned in to kiss her but Lexie stopped him.

"Not here." she said. A few moments later they were locked up in an on-call room kissing passionately.

"I...didn´t think...to see you so...soon again here." Lexie murmured during the kisses.

"I just...couldn´t wait." he meant putting of his scrub shirt.

"I couldn´t wait either." she replied when they went to a bed not breaking the kiss. Mark was just about to put off his scrub pants when Lexie stopped the kiss.

"Did you know that Webber is firing interns?" she asked.

"What?"

"I mean am I save just because I...slept with an attending or...will he fire me because I did that..or-" Lexie asked put got cut off by Mark´s finger on her lips.

"Can we please stop talking about this?" he asked and Lexie nodded and started kissing him again. Mark put off his pants and pulled Lexie onto him. The kiss got more passionate than before and when Mark wanted to put off Lexie´s scrub shirt she stopped him.

"I´m sorry...I gotta go." she said rolling down of him and standing up.

"What? Oh come on!" he watched her putting on her lab coat again. "Seriously?"

"I´m sorry...you know take it slow...this shouldn´t have happened when you´re taking it slow." she went towards the door.

"So what does taking slow mean? I´m not allowed to kiss you? To flirt with you?" Mark asked annoyed and confused.

"You are allowed to flirt with me...I just...I want to start like a normal relationship does." she admitted and tried to comfort him with a smile before leaving and closing the door behind him. Mark let himself fall back putting his hands on his face.

* * *

"Hello Mister Burton..." Webber entered Henry´s room finding Teddy sitting on his bed and laughing. "...and doctor Altman...of course. Would you mind to leave the patient room for a moment, doctor Altman?" Richard asked her.

"Oh no, it´s no problem...Teddy can stay." Henry assured.

"Yeah it is." Webber explained harshly. "Legally `Teddy´ is neither your doctor, nor your wife or any other kind of relative. Therefore, she´s not allowed to stay."

"It´s okay...I´ll just come back later." Teddy said and went outside but stayed at the nurse desk on the opposite side to listen to what they talk about.

"Well, Mister Burton I have good news for you. We can operate you tomorrow in the morning." he smiled.

"Um...tomorrow is bad..Teddy and I are getting..well, married tomorrow forenoon." Henry explained.

"Well, I guess then that´s not possible."Richard said still mad at Teddy for this.

"But without my health insurance it´s also not possible." Henry got serious.

"Are you serious? You punish him for my behaving?!" Teddy entered the room really mad.

"I´m sorry mister Burton. I have a lot of patients and you need to be operated ASAP. I don´t have space for you." the chief ignored his employee and left the room. Henry looked down on his hands.

"Nevermind. I´ll find someone who can do this today."

"Teddy it´s Sunday. Nobody will wed us today, so we can betray the state."

"Trust me Henry. I was a doctor in the army. I will find someone."

* * *

"Why did you want Izzie to think about the surgery again? Don´t you trust me?" Derek asked Meredith loudly when they were in an on-call room.

"I do trust you. I am just unsure after the test. She couldn´t remember anything." Meredith protested.

"But I can do this. I´m a neuro-god." Derek promised and Meredith rolled her eyes while shaking her head. "What? Do you think that I can´t do this?"

"This...this whole neuro-godcomplex...you overestimate yourself and that leads to mistakes." Meredith explained.

"You think that´s a number too high for me right?" he asked sarcastically.

"No. Derek. I believe in you. And you need to trust me when I tell you that you can do this. And I will assist you and you can prove me what kind of god you are." Meredith put her hands on his shoulders. "I love you Derek."

"I love you too Mer." he replied and they exchanged a soft kiss.

"Okay...I will go...prepare myself." Meredith left him and only a few moments later Derek also left the on-call room.

* * *

A few hours later...

* * *

"Mer..hi. We haven´t seen us since I left for the spa. How´s it going?" Lexie asked when she met her sister on the hallway.

"Lexie...wow..your hair..it´s..blond." Meredith noticed when Lexie stood next to her.

"Yeah...I think I remove it soon. Anyway. I heard you´re gonna operate on Izzie?" Lexie wanted to know.

"Yeah in an hour. Derek will remove the tumor in her brain and I´ll assist." Meredith explained.

"Well, good luck...you know I haven´t talked with her in a while...how is she?" Lexie looked at her sister.

"Um..well, she started her interleukin 2 and is doing well so far and she´s now engaged with Alex." Meredith told her the news.

"She´s engaged with Alex? But she can´t forgive me? For doing nothing?" Lexie shook her head and rolled her eyes madly.

"Yeah let´s not talk about it. How was your spa weekend?" Meredith was now asking.

"You know the funny thing was that I went there to forget Mark and Mark went to a spa to forget me and we both ended up in the same room." Lexie smiled happily.

"What?!" Meredith asked shocked.

"Yeah. Derek allowed the receptionist to put me in his room. Well, they lost my booking and Derek didn´t know it was me but that´s how it happened." Lexie mentioned to her sister.

"And now you´re back together?" Meredith asked and hoped she´d say no.

"Well, not really. I told him to take it slow and start everything like a real relationship since the last one happened really fast. I´m confident it will work out this time." Lexie said.

"Lexie...I don´t quite-"

"No! Don´t say it Mer...I don´t want to hear it. I know you were against us from the very beginning but I don´t care. I´m an adult, I can decide with whom I sleep an with whom not on my own. I don´t need you to tell me." Lexie cut her off and Meredith nodded.

"Okay...I need to prepare for Izzie´s surgery." Meredith said and let her sister behind.

* * *

"Great!...thank you so much." Teddy hang up and went to Henry´s room showing her phone. "I made it."

"Made what?" he asked confused.

"I found someone who can wed us. It appears that you can find people really easily when you were in the army." Teddy smiled.

"Really?!" Henry replied the smile.

"Yes...He´s here in a half hour." Teddy said sitting down on Henry´s bed. "You´re gonna get a health insurance."

* * *

Mark met Derek at the nurse´s desk and stopped next to him.

"So I have a question for you." Mark started.

"Doctor Sloan...what a pleasure." Derek joked and looked up from Izzie´s chart. "How was your weekend off?"

"That has to do with my question. I´m not good at these whole date and romantic things...but..um..you are...so there´s a girl I really like..and she wants to take it slow so I wanted to ask her out...I just don´t know how." Mark looked at the floor and blushed.

"Is that girl the one that shared a room with you?" Derek asked and Mark nodded. "Well I would just book a table at a nice restaurant and then ask her out."

"That´s all?"

"That´s all. And then see what happens. I´m glad you´re over Lexie." Derek said while closing Izzie´s chart and leaving Mark by tapping on his shoulder.

"If you know..." Mark murmured when Derek was gone.

* * *

"Iz, Are you really sure?" Alex asked when he hold her hand while the nurses rolled her bed towards the o.r. wing.

"Alex. I am..I love you." Izzie smiled comforting when the bed stopped.

"You can´t go further on, doctor Karev." A nurse said.

"I love you too Iz." he kissed her hand and then her lips when she got drove through the doors into the sterile section and their hands lost each other.

"Good afternoon doctor Stevens, Ready for the surgery?" Derek asked when she lied on the table and the nurses put injections in her veins.

"Couldn´t be readier." she smiled and Derek replied it under his surgical mask. As soon as everybody was in their sterile clothes and Izzie was narcotized Derek and Meredith went to her head which was already shaved and Derek looked around.

"Okay guys. It´s a beautiful day to save lives." he said and then started opening her skull.

Three hours later he was about to remove the tumor while talking to Meredith.

"Mark´s moving forward. He wants to ask a girl out for a date. He even asked me for help. I think it was a good idea to allow this girl sharing the room with him. I knew he would get on other ideas with her." Derek told Meredith while cutting around the tumor.

"Just that, the girl he shared the room with was Lexie and the girl he used to get over Lexie was Lexie." Meredith explained madly.

"What?!" Derek asked shocked and suddenly Izzie´s blood pressure rocket high. "Damn it!" Derek cursed.

* * *

"Hello doctor Grey." Mark smirked and stopped next to Lexie.

"Um..hello doctor Sloan. You know with taking slow I didn´t mean that we can´t call each other by our first name." Lexie giggled.

"I know..I wanted to ask you out for a date." Mark said.

"A date? When?" Lexie was impressed by his idea.

"Depends on when your shift ends." he smiled and so t´did she.

"Um...7 pm." she looked at her wrist watch and blushed.

"So then...meet you at 8 o´clock at Luigi´s." Mark said before leaving and Lexie watched him going away not stopping to smile.

 _True love is the greatest gift the human can receive._

 _It means that you feel depressed and sick without the person you love._

 _You feel like your live is meaningless and has no sense without them._

Bailey finished a surgery and went to the family of her patient. After telling them that everything was going fine and that they could visit him she wanted to leave to but saw Alex sitting in the waiting room with tears in his eyes.

"Karev? What are you doing here?" Miranda asked when she came closer to her resident.

"I´m waiting for someone to tell me how Izzie is...she´s in the o.r. with Shepherd." Alex explained sniffy.

"She lets him do the surgery? I heard of how the test went...isn´t she afraid?" Miranda sat down next to him.

"I told her not to do it but she wouldn´t let change her mind." Alex said and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Karev..." the attending tried to comfort him. I´m just going to sit here and accompany you okay?" she asked and Alex nodded.

"I love her so much...she´s the love of my life...I love her." he cried and Bailey put her arm around him.

"Shh...she´s gonna be fine."

 _But true love doesn´t mean to be sexual._

 _You can feel true love for your best friend too._

 _It means to care for each other physically and emotionally._

After Mark finished his shift he drove home to get ready for the date. When he was about to open his door he heard sobbing out of Callie´s. He knocked at the door and was worried when Callie with red and swollen eyes stood in front of him.

"Callie..." he opened his eyes and pulled her into a hug. "What happened?" Callie went into her apartment and sat down on the couch with a tissue in her hand. Mark followed her and sat down next to his best friend.

"Mark...I need to tell you something. I´m...I´m pregnant..with your child." Callie sobbed.

 _True love is that you would give everything for your partner._

 _It is that you do things that your partner is happy._

 _True love is a give and get._

When Lexie was done with her shift she drove to Meredith´s place where she was sleeping. When she entered the living room she screamed because Cristina was sitting there on the couch with a beer in her hand and Owen right next to her.

"God you scared me to death." Lexie cursed when she put her bag on the floor. "What are you doing here? "

"We wanted to make a couple evening or something like that. It was Owen´s idea." she replied annoyed

"A couple...Derek and Meredith are working. They are operating Izzie Stevens."

"What?" Cristina asked surprised. "Izzie let them operate?" she asked and Lexie nodded.

"Well, then sorry for the disturbance. We´re leaving." Owen meant and stood up.

"Wait! I maybe need you doctor Yang. Just for a few minutes." Lexie smiled and the couple exchanged confused looks. After agreeing the three of them found themselves in Lexie´s room searching for a outfit for Lexie´s date.

"There´s not even one outfit that looks good." Lexie cursed.

"I don´t even know why you´re making it so complicated. I thought he has seen you naked a thousand times?" Cristina who sat on Lexie´s bed joked.

"Bad..bad images in my head." Owen murmured and shook them off.

"Do you think Mer has something in her closet?" Lexie asked desperate.

"What about the red one over there?" Owen asked and Lexie took it out of the closet.

"This one belonged to my mother. She loved it. And my dad loved it too." Lexie remembered before trying it on.

"It looks great." Cristina said.

"It really does." Owen agreed.

"So this one?" Lexie asked unsure but all her doubts where gone when both surgeons nodded heavily. "Okay...thanks."

 _True love is wanting to marry someone though you weren´t even dating for so long._

 _To live happily ever after with this person._

 _It´s the feeling that you would do anything just to see her smile._

After the couple left and Lexie had her hair and make up done she drove to the restaurant and went in.

"Lex..." Mark saw her from the table he was already sitting.

"Hi. Sorry I´m a bit too late. I had a little dressing problem." Lexie excused herself.

"You look beautiful." Mark couldn´t believe his eyes. "Please have a seat." he offered her the chair opposite of his. "You want some wine?" he asked and pour in some white wine after she nodded.

"Wow...you really want this, huh?" Lexie smiled overwhelmed by all of this.

"I do.." Mark replied her smile and they ordered their meals.

After they finished their received meals they ordered a dessert.

"Cheers...on our first real date." Lexie smiled and they chinked.

"Lex...I need to tell you something." Mark admitted and looked at her sorrowful.

"What? Did something happen?" Lexie worried.

"Arizona is back..." he began.

"Wow okay...um...that´s great? I guess?" Lexie replied and took a bite of her dessert.

"Yeah...yeah..um...Callie´s pregnant." Mark continued.

"Wow...okay...wait. So Arizona´s back now. Did they do it before she left or..." Lexie wanted to ask but then read then answer in Mark´s eyes.

"I´m so sorry Lex."

 _But...how often do we experience true love?_


	24. Love is a losing game

**I´m so sorry for being so inactive I really try to update more often but I have a lot to learn for my riding license and prepare for school so please stay active and tell me what you think of this chapter and especially of the ending.**

 **Thanks, love ya xo**

 **Love is a losing game**

 _The truth._

 _The truth is a risky thing._

 _We teach our kids that not telling the truth is bad and the same as lying._

 _But often we´d prefer lying. Because sometimes...the truth can hurt more than a lie._

Lexie looked at Mark unbelievable trying to hold back the tears.

"Wow..." she sighed. "Wow...so..you invited me..on this dinner..." she got mad and every word got louder than the previous. "..to tell me...that you got your best friend pregnant?" she said it so loud that the people around them looked at them.

"No..." Mark replied quietly. "No..she told me maybe two hours ago."

"Stop talking." Lexie showed him with her hand to stop and closed her eyes sighing.

"Lex I-"

"Seriously. You´re not making it better." Lexie put the napkin on the table and looked at her not finished dessert. "I gotta go now. Thank..thank you for the dinner.." Lexie stood up which caused Mark standing up.

"Lexie please.." tears came into his eyes.

"No Mark. I´m leaving..and..unless you want this cup of hot coffee in your laps you´re not following me." she pointed on the coffee next to her plate before leaving him with a `Goodbye Mark´.

 _As doctors we need to tell the truth._

 _The whole truth._

 _We can´t just say that the surgery went well though there were massive complications._

 _We can´t lie to the relatives of our patients._

 _We need to tell them everything, even if it will cause pain._

Alex has already fallen asleep on Miranda´s shoulder when Meredith and Derek came towards them to tell him what happened.

"Alex.." Miranda woke him up and after a few seconds he realized what´s going on.

"How did it go?" he asked anxiously.

"There um...there was a massive bleeding...her BP was really high and we tried every-..." Derek explained with a lump in his throat watching Alex´ face turning pale. "..everything to..I´m sorry." Derek turned around and Meredith took over.

"We did everything we could to save her. Derek stopped the bleeding and we could continue the operation. But..." she continued and Alex who just let out a sigh of relief got nervous again.

"But what?" he asked loud.

"But..we don´t know if she will wake up or if she does wake up, she´ll have neurological damages." Meredith told him the news.

"Like after the test? That she can´t remember anything?" Bailey asked instead of her resident and Meredith sighed.

"Or even worse." she said.

 _Our life is build up on lies._

 _Everybody has cheated on a test once and told lies._

 _But who knows...maybe we wouldn´t live the way we do without the lies we told in our past._

"Hey what are you doing?" Owen asked Cristina who stood in front of the doors of the e.r.

"Waiting for a miracle to happen." she replied annoyed and took the coffee Owen brought and gave her after he kissed her on the cheek.

"What kind of miracle?" Owen continued asking while checking the computer.

"That whether Teddy wants me back or a good case comes in." she explained still looking at the doors.

"Why don´t you look here through the patient´s charts?" her boyfriend wanted to know and Cristina came to him an leaned against the desk.

"I already did...nothing good...broken toes...sutures and stomach-flu...nothing interesting." she said annoyed. "I want cardio back...I want to operate on a heart again."

"Well, there are also a few other cardio surgeons." Owen tried to comfort her.

"Oh please..I´m better than all of them together...I need Teddy to teach me something." Cristina behaved like a kid you took away a lolly from.

"Well, as I know Teddy she won´t give up on her belief. But as I know you, you do neither." he kissed her again on the cheek before leaving the e.r.

* * *

"Lucy?" Teddy came towards a blond woman standing at the nurse´s desk.

"Um..no." Arizona turned around.

"Doctor Robbins...you´re back.." Teddy smiled and so did Arizona.

"Yeah I guess I am..."

"Anyways have you seen doctor Fields?" Teddy asked.

"Oh the new head of peds...no sorry..I´ve been looking for her the whole day." Arizona excused.

"Oh okay...no problem..maybe she´s in surgery..glad you´re back." Teddy meant before leaving Arizona.

"Oh doctor Altman wait!" she stopped Teddy. "I wanted to invite the attendings to Joe´s you know..to celebrate my come back. Would you like to come?"

"Yeah sure..oh and I think we could call as by our first name." Teddy replied holding out her hand. "Teddy."  
"Arizona." she smiled and shook the hand. "Then see you in an hour."

"Yeah." Teddy said while leaving. Arizona continued filling in some charts when Derek came to the desk to fill in Izzie´s chart.

"Derek hi." she smiled again.

"Arizona hello. How´s it going?" he asked writing.

"Good...good...yeah." Arizona lied and then looked up from her chart and turned towards her college. "Would you like to come to Joe´s in about an hour? To celebrate my come back?" she asked.

"Um...sure...can I bring Mer?"

"Oh yes the more the better."

"Fine. See you then." he meant and also went away.

"Good...now I have three.." Arizona murmured and closed her chart to go finding some other doctors to invite.

* * *

Alex sat next to Izzie´s bed holding her hand watching her sleeping.

"Izzie...can you hear me?" he asked sobbing. "I don´t know if you do...I don´t even know if you can ever reply again but I love you so much. I love you and I should have fought harder for you to not get this surgery. Please come back to me please. I don´t want to lose you Iz."

"Hey." Meredith tore him out of his thoughts when she leaned against the door and watched him.

"How long have you been there?" he sobbed and wiped away the tears on his cheeks.

"Long enough...I know you feel guilty. You don´t have to. You couldn´t have changed that." Meredith replied.

"I could have changed her mind. I could have keep her away from this." Alex cried looking at his fiancé´s hand.

"We both know Izzie. You couldn´t have done this. She´s a fighter. She fights for what she wants. And so she´ll fight to survive because that´s what she wants. She wants to live." Meredith comforted him. A short moment of silence filled the room before Meredith broke it again. "Derek and I are going to Joe´s in ten minutes. I don´t think you wanna come with us, do you?" she asked and Alex shook his head.

"Thank you...I´ll stay here." he replied and Meredith smiled.

"I thought so." she said turning around. "If anything is, no matter what...call me." she said and without looking at him she knew he nodded.

* * *

After that talk Meredith and Derek entered the bar where Arizona, Bailey and Webber already sat by a table eating nuts and drinking something.

"Mer...Der... hey!" Arizona who was already drunk greeted them with a hug.

"Wow..okay." Meredith was overstrained.

"Who did you invite?" Derek asked sitting down next to Meredith who sat on the opposite of Richard.

"Um..Teddy and Owen and he brings Cristina...hihi." she giggled before sipping from her cocktail.

"How many of these did she already have?" Meredith asked Miranda and Richard pointing on Arizona´s glass. But both shrugged.

"Well, Callie slept with Mark so let her be." Derek mentioned to her and and the attendings on the opposite widened their eyes.

"Excuse me?" Webber asked shocked.

"Oh no no no...please keep me away from all this stuff." Bailey said and stood up to get another drink. "Do you want something?" she asked and pointed into the round.

"Uhhh...Scotch for me and you?" Derek replied looking at Meredith.

"A coke...I´m driver."

"For me the same." Webber explained. "The coke of course."

"Can you bring me another one of these pink drinks? They´re delicious." Arizona chuckled and Bailey nodded while going to the bar.

"You don´t drink today?" Derek asked Webber.

"I don´t drink since 25 years." he meant proudly and and Derek nodded.

"Sorry...I didn´t know."

"He was in a meeting group with..Thatcher." Meredith explained.

"Yeah..I haven´t seen him for so long. Do you know how he´s doing?" Richard asked.

"You better ask Lexie...I don´t really have a boundary with him.." Meredith answered awkwardly.

"Teddy!" Arizona screamed happily drunken and hugged her.

"Wow okay someone´s having fun without us. I hope it´s okay I brought Lucy." Teddy replied.

"Oh so you are the badass." Arizona stood in front of her new boss.

"Um..." Lucy looked around unsure what to answer when Arizona suddenly hugged her too.

"You are so nice. Come here join us." she meant and sat down on her seat nearly tripping.

"Here you go. A scotch, two coke and a pink delicious drink." Bailey put the beverages on the table, greeted Teddy and Lucy and sat down again.

"Look who´s coming!" Arizona shouted through the whole bar. "Major Hunt!" Teddy turned around awkwardly and sighed.

"Great...and he has Cristina with him." she meant quickly looking forward again.

"Cristina I´m sorry..I didn´t knew-" Owen apologized when he recognized Teddy but Cristina cut him off.

"It´s okay...I´m over this." she lied.

"You are?" he asked surprised and she nodded.

"I´m gonna get some drinks." she said and quickly ran to the bar while Owen went to the table. "Hey Joe. Two beer please." she ordered and took out her wallet. "Oh hey Lexie." she said without even looking at her intern when she saw her sitting on a bar chair next to her. "Lexie? I thought you were on a date."

"I was." Lexie replied sipping from her beer.

"And how was it?" Cristina asked waiting for her bottles.

"Does it look like it was good?" Lexie replied clearly drunk.

"You wanna talk about it?" Cristina asked.

"Nope." Lexie shook her head and her resident sighed.

"Good. I didn´t want to talk about it either."

"You know...I just thought he changed. I thought I changed him." Lexie got emotional and Cristina rolled her eyes.

"You wanna talk about it." she murmured annoyed and sat down next to her best friend´s sister.

"I should have listened to Mer...she was right...he will always be a manwhore...but I thought I could change him and then...and then he gets every human being that has a vagina pregnant." Lexie cried still drinking from her beer.

"You´re pregnant?!" Cristina asked shocked and maybe a bit too loud.

"For god´s sake I hope not...Callie is...He got his best friend pregnant." Lexie now couldn´t stop chuckling.

"What?" Cristina asked still shocked but Lexie didn´t answer and just continued laughing. In the meantime Joe put the beer on the bar and Cristina took them.

"Joe? What ever she wants she gets it okay? I´ll pay." Cristina explained before she left Lexie scratching the label off of the beer bottle. Cristina joined the others handing Owen one of the beers and trying to not look at Teddy. They just had a deep conversation when Meredith got a message from Alex saying "911 don´t bring Shepherd!"

"Izzie." she murmured and jumped off of her chair.

"Mer, everything´s alright?" Derek asked.

"Yes I..I got a emergency page..I´m..I´m on call...I come back as soon as possible." she promised while heading outside and to the hospital.

"I better follow her." Derek stood up.

"No you drank alcohol. Stay here she´ll get this." Webber held him back

* * *

Meredith ran towards Izzie´s room where Alex was nervously walking up and down the hallway.

"Where have you been?" he asked anxiously.

"I´m sorry I came as fast as I could. What happened?" Meredith asked also nervously.

"Izzie...she woke up." Alex meant but didn´t seem happy.

"Really? Oh my god that´s great!" Meredith cheered but Alex warned her with his eyes.

"Meredith..." he looked her deep in the eyes.

"Which complication?" she asked with all her happiness shattered on the floor when Alex pulled her inside of the room.

"Meredith hi! How´s it going?" Izzie greeted her friend.

"Iz...you feel good?" Meredith came closer and checked the vitals on the monitor.

"Great." she replied and Meredith tested her pupil with a flashlight. Then she turned to Alex.

"I don´t know what you mean. Everything´s fine. Vitals are, good brain functions seem perfect. What is the emerg-" Meredith wanted to ask him but Izzie cut her off.

"Meredith? Hi! How ya doing?" she asked and caused Meredith to turn around confused.

"She forgets everything within 30 seconds." Alex explained.

"That´s bad..really bad." Meredith whispered harshly when she and Alex stood outside of the room.

"You don´t need to tell me I know it." he meant scratching his head. "I knew that something will go wrong. I knew it."

"Hey Alex...calm down...it´s gonna be fine okay? Maybe it´s just temporarily." Meredith tried to comfort him and hid her fear.

"Yeah...maybe." he went back into Izzie´s room followed by Meredith.

"Meredith? Alex? Hi! What´s going on? Why are you looking so upset?" Izzie asked.

"Izzie...do you remember what you did today in the morning?" Meredith wanted to know.

"Um..I was sleeping and then discussing with Alex if I should agree to the operation or not." she answered.

"Mer..what are you doing?" Alex asked unsure.

"I´m testing how damaged her STM is." she replied. "She can remember what she did this morning. That´s good. Do you know what happened later?" Meredith continued and Izzie looked at her hands.

"I um...I..." she stuttered.

"It´s okay take your time." Meredith comforted her with a smile.

"I...I don´t know.." Izzie replied nervously and Alex sighed.

"At least she remembers the morning." Meredith turned around to Alex who looked down at his shoes.

"Hey guys. What are we doing?" Izzie asked happily.

"Get her a ct, I´m gonna study what could cause this." Meredith whispered to Alex.

* * *

It was already 1 am and the doctors were drinking besides the one that were drivers and Arizona lost every sense of control.

"I´m beautiful. I´m sexy. I don´t need Calliopeeee to make me happyyyy." she sang the whole time. Bailey also was a bit drunk and sat next to Arizona applauding the whole time she ended her song.

"If she thinks she can just...screw around with Mark and get pregnant...then she should do it.." Arizona continued.

"Excuse me?!" Webber asked shocked and the rest of the group was surprised too.

"Okay. I think we need to go. My shift starts soon." Owen meant and Cristina nodded.

"I think we should go too." Webber said and helped Arizona and Bailey up from their seats. "Come on doctor Robbins..We´re going." he took them by their hands and pulled them towards the door when Bailey got free and ran back to the table and hugged Derek from behind.

"You are ma favorite doctoooor." she giggled and Derek smiled.

"Thank you doctor Bailey...and now go home and get some sleep." Derek chuckled and pulled away from the hug while Richard took her by the hand again.

"And you!" she pointed on Cristina who just put on her jacket. "Woe betide you you´re not fit during rounds tomorrow." she threatened while Webber pulled her outside to his car.

"Shall we?" Owen asked Cristina and she nodded. After saying goodbye they wanted to leave when Cristina saw Lexie still sitting at the bar.

"Wait." she meant and went towards her already sleeping intern. "Come one little Grey. Time to go home." she put her by her arm and helped her walking to Owen´s car and they drove her home to Meredith´s.

* * *

The next morning when Lexie woke up she had a terrible headache and the need to puke. When she went downstairs into the kitchen Derek already drank his coffee and read the newspaper.

"Good morning." he greeted her.

"Do you have to yell?" Lexie whispered and pour in some coffee into her cup.

"I´m sorry." Derek giggled quietly.

"What´s the time?" she sat down next to him.

"9 am. But I don´t think you can work like that today." he smiled.

"No no...I have an appointment with a coiffeur. I return to brunette." Lexie explained

"Wow...why?" Derek continued the small talk.

"Somehow I always need a change when something goes wrong in my life." Lexie looked into her cup.

"I heard it yesterday at this little party...I´m sorry." Derek put his hand on her shoulder.

"It´s okay. I´m fine. Well, at least I pretend to be." Lexie nodded. It was a moment of silence which was broken by Lexie asking how the party was.

"Well, good...kind of. Meredith had to go...a patient or something and I took a cab home. She´s still there."Derek told her.

"Yeah. I don´t remember how I came home. The last thing I remember was a tequila shot." Lexie giggled which cause more pain in her head and that caused Derek laughing.

"Okay I need to drive to the hospital. You´re really fine?" he asked standing up and putting on his jacket.

"I´m good. Go!" Lexie smiled and Derek left the house and her behind.

* * *

"Doctor Torres I´m glad you could make it." Webber entered his office where Callie already sat on the chair in front of the desk.

"Yeah but I´ve got my free day today...Why am I here?" she asked confused and mad that she had to be here.

"Well, I heard a rumor...about you and...well...Mark Sloan.." he started and Callie sighed and immediately knew what it was about. "I just want to clarify the truth about it."

"Well, if you mean the rumor about me being pregnant with Mark Sloan´s child then it´s true." Callie told him clearly and her chief sighed.

"You know...you´re a very good orthopedic surgeon and I would never fire you. But since we´re in the need of shorting our personal I think-"

"You´re firing me?!" Callie asked madly and shocked.

"I didn´t say that. I´m just warning you that the management will take every opportunity to fire people." Webber explained folding his hands together looking her deep in the eyes.

"So you´re telling me to abort?" Callie asked confused.

"No..no..you should do whatever you want...all I´m telling you is that you should show them what a loss you would be. I know it, you know it, every doctor in this hospital knows it. But you have to convince the management." Webber smiled and Callie nodded.

"May I go now?" she asked and he agreed so she left the office.

* * *

"Okay mister Burton." Webber entered Henry´s room in which Teddy was sitting and talking with him. "How are you feeling? Ready for your operation?"

"A operation which could cause my death? Couldn´t be more ready." Henry joked and Teddy looked at him madly.

"How often have I told you that you shouldn´t say things like that." she asked him warning and Webber rolled her eyes. Suddenly Teddy got a page. "Oh damn it..e.r. I gotta go. See you after the surgery." she left the room smiling and Henry watched her also smiling when Webber cleared his throat.

"Oh it´s not what you think it is...it´s completely platonic." Henry promised.

"I see...You two married yesterday?" Webber read in the chart and Henry nodded.

"Yeah you know nothing big...only her and me...we didn´t want to invite family or friends.." he joked.

"Mhm...Well, then see you in the o.r." Webber meant closing his chart and leaving the room which was the sign for some interns to prep him.

* * *

"Good morning sweetheart. Where have you been all night?" Derek kissed Meredith on her cheek when he came to her to the nurse´s desk.

"Oh...you know..the patient.." she lied.

"Mhm...Have you checked on Izzie?" he asked taking a chart.

"Yeah..um..she´s..fine..great..she´s great." Meredith lied again.

"You know I think I´m gonna go to her now.." Derek smiled and Meredith got nervous.

"No no...you don´t need to she´s..sleeping...yeah..sleeping." she tried to hold him back.

"Are you okay?" he asked suspicious.

"I´m fine." Meredith smiled and Derek´s pager beeped. "Oh you got a page. I´m sure it´s very important. Hurry up!"

"Okay. Love you!" he kissed her again before rushing into the e.r. Meredith sighed and went into Izzie´s room.

"Have you already received the ct scans?" she asked Alex.

"Yeah." he bit on his lip nervously and showed them to her. "Have you told Shepherd?"

"No." Meredith murmured looking at the scans. "Crap. There´s a bleeding. That´s why she forgets everything after 30 seconds."

"Why didn´t you tell him? He´s the only one who could cure this." Alex asked madly.

"I know...I just..couldn´t tell him. After the surgery...it would hurt him even more to hear that there are some complications after he was so sure he could do this." she defended her acting.

"Well, there´s a bleeding..in her brain..I don´t think you can cure this. He needs to know asap." Alex explained.

"I know. I can read a ct. I´m going to tell him. Trust me." Meredith replied a bit mad.

"When? When she already died? He needs to know now!" Alex shouted which caused Izzie to wake up.

"What´s wrong? Why are you shouting?" she asked confused and Alex came to her bed and hold her hand.

"Everything´s fine. Close your eyes and sleep again." he promised and so did she.

"Don´t you want to tell her?" Meredith asked.

"What sense would it have? She would forget it only seconds later." Alex answered.

* * *

"Good morning doctor Bailey. Why are you wearing sungl-" Cristina greeted her attending when she met her outside of the hospital.

"Shhh. don´t yell at me like that.." she whispered.

"Why are you wearing sunglasses?" Cristina asked whispering.

"It´s so light." Bailey answered looking at the hospital standing in front of it.

"Um..there are dark clouds on the sky and no sun...are you sure didn´t just have had too many drinks last night?" Cristina asked sarcastically and caused Bailey to turn to her and gasp angrily.

"I did not...have too many drinks...I can control myself." she defended herself.

"If you say so." Cristina chuckled and entered the hospital.

"I did not-" Bailey yelled after her but immediately stopped when she got headache from her yelling. "Maybe one too much." she murmured and also entered the hospital.

* * *

"Derek?" Meredith asked knocking at the door of an on-call room before entering it.

"Mer?...What do you want?" he asked confused and tired when she sat down on the bed he was sleeping in, ten seconds ago.

"I lied to you." she admitted and he looked at her still not less confused. "About Izzie...she´s anything but fine." Derek sat up quickly and grabbed her by her arms looking her deep into the eyes.

"What? What is wrong?" he worried.

"She has a bleeding...and lost her STM..." she murmured and Derek jumped out of the bed cursing why she didn´t tell him yet.

"I´m sorry...I didn´t want to hurt you even more.."

"Your acting could cause a patient´s death..you need to tell me the truth. Was she the patient why you left yesterday?" Derek shouted angrily and Meredith nodded. "You´re off of the case."

"What? Why-"

"No discussing." Derek cut her off and left the room by shutting the door close really loud.

* * *

"Okay...so you don´t need a surgery but I would like to keep you here over night okay? The nurses will bring you to a room." Teddy signed a patient´s chart and gave it a nurse before she told the patient goodbye and went to the desk.

"Is there anything else?" she asked and the nurse behind the desk shook her head when suddenly Teddy got a page. "Webber?...Henry!" she noticed and rushed to the o.r. Webber operated Henry.

"What´s the matter? What´s wrong?" she asked worried and stressed.

"The tumor has infected more of the pancreas than we thought. We have to take out so much that he would be a diabetic. Could he live with that?" Webber asked with his back to Teddy who was still standing there shocked.

"I..I don´t know I-" she stuttered.

"But you´re his wife!" Richard acted shocked.

"Why don´t you call his emergency contact? I´m...I´m not the one who should decide this!" Teddy explained overstrained.

"Well, he put you as his emergency contact." Webber mentioned and Teddy´s eyes widened.

"Me..What?!" she asked loudly and shocked.

"Doctor Altman you need to decide he´s already longer narcotized than he should be." Richard meant harshly.

"Um...I um.." Teddy stuttered switching her gaze between Henry and her chief.

* * *

"Hey doctor Bailey..." Arizona whispered when she slowly went towards her college.

"Doctor Robbins." Bailey replied whispering.

"So you´re...you´re having it to? A hangover?" she asked and Bailey nodded.

"What about if we don´t talk and just go down this hallway to the coffee car." Miranda asked.

"Good idea." Arizona agreed and they walked to the coffee car not talking at all. When they arrived at their destination and waited for the coffee to be ready Mark joined them.

"Good morning ladies." he greeted them way too loud.

"Go way Mark!" Arizona warned annoyed.

"Ah so you already know." he faked a smile.

"Yeah I know. And I don´t want you in my life. So I´m just waiting for Calliope´s decision and hopefully it doesn´t involve you!" she replied angrily.

"Well, as I know her it will involve me." he grinned.

"Really? What does Lexie say to...well, this huh?" she asked provocative.

"Screw you." Mark answered harshly and went away.

"Wow...I never thought you could be so badass." Bailey complimented Arizona.

"Thank you." she replied watching Mark leaving, taking her coffee and leaving Miranda in the other direction.

* * *

Meredith hid behind the nurse´s desk in front of Izzie´s room and watched Alex and Derek talking. She quickly looked at some charts pretending to write something when Derek left the room. After he was out of sight she went into Izzie´s room to check on her friends.

"Hi Meredith!" Izzie greeted her friendly and Meredith replied with a nod.

"What did he say?" she asked Alex, who still sat next to Izzie, whispering.

"He meant the he won´t operate yet and wants to watch it. Maybe it goes back and if not he will operate. We´ll see tomorrow he said." Alex explained watching Izzie knitting a scarf.

"I´m...sorry..for not telling him." Meredith meant after a pause.

"It´s okay...It wouldn´t have changed anything." he smiled weakly.

"When was the last time you slept?" she asked carrying.

"I didn´t get a lot of sleep the last few days. I´m sitting here or at Denny´s bed. I´m so exhausted. But I´m afraid something happens when I fall asleep." Alex explained tired.

"And when are you working?" she wanted to know and sat down next to him.

"I took a few days off...I start tomorrow again. I thought everything would be better after the surgery but...well, it´s not." Meredith placed her hand on Alex´ shoulder and he shivered at her touch. "You can go...you don´t need to stay."

"Okay...if anything is call me alright?" Meredith stood up and went towards the door but left after he agreed.

* * *

 _Telling the truth is always hard._

"Hi." Teddy greeted Henry when he opened his eyes.

"Hey." he replied huskily and Teddy gave him a cup of water.

"How ya feeling?" she asked worried sitting next to him.

"Okay...I´m good." he answered after finishing drinking.

"Okay um...there was a little complication...during your surgery...the tumor infected more of the pancreas than we thought...you put me as your emergency contact so I had to make a decision." Teddy started explaining stuttering.

"Wait wait what?...Teddy what are you talking about?" Henry asked confused.

"I´m telling you the truth..because that´s what I have to do..that´s...that´s what I agreed to by marrying you...I had to decide if they take out everything that was infected but what would cause you to be a diabetic, or let something in risking that the tumor will grow again and infect more and cause more damage. I didn´t know what to do so I decided to let them take out the whole tumor." she continued and Henry leaned back sighing. "But there are a lot of programs and nowadays it´s really no problem to be a diabetic. Moreover I´m a really good doctor...I can help you."

 _it can change someones life. In either a good or a bad way._

"So you´re telling me that...that they took out the whole tumor...but I´m a diabetic now?" Henry wanted to know and Teddy nodded.

"I´m sorry...but why did you take me as your emergency contact? I know nothing about you!" Teddy started arguing.

"Because your the only friend I have!" Henry explained and Teddy arched her eyebrows. "I had to change my jobs really often because of the bills for my treatments. You don´t really find friends that way."

"But don´t you have any more relatives?" Teddy asked and worried at once.

"I have a sister. But she lives in Prague. I don´t want to bother her with my problems she has enough on her own." Henry looked down at his hands playing with them nervously when Teddy grabbed them and he looked up into her beautiful eyes.

"Listen to me. Everything´s fine. I´m gonna be you emergency contact and insurance wife. In fact I would love to be." she smiled and so did Henry.

 _But no matter what confronts you...You never want to feel the consequences._

"I can´t understand why you didn´t tell me!" Derek yelled entering the house followed by Meredith.

"I just didn´t want to hurt you!" Meredith defended herself following him into the kitchen where Lexie sat eating dinner.

"You are a doctor! You can´t lie about a patient´s condition!" he explained angrily and still yelling. Lexie switched gaze between her sister and Derek.

"Um-" she started but Meredith cut her off.

"I know! I just thought maybe there´s something you didn´t cause...then I would have told you!" she meant unsure if she really had done this.

"But I caused the bleeding! I caused the loss of her STM!" Derek shouted looking at his fiancé who crossed her arms over her chest.

"Who?!" Lexie asked loudly and both looked at her.

"Izzie." Meredith answered sorrowful.

"Izzie? Oh my god..." Lexie stared at her food. Derek left the kitchen and went towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Meredith shouted after him.

"I´m sleeping at the hospital! I can´t be here tonight I need to fix what you did wrong!" he said opening the door.

"Seriously?!" Meredith asked shocked.

"You can be happy Alex is your friend and won´t tell Webber anything. By the way...nice hair Lexie." he meant before closing the door behind him.

"Thank you..." Lexie murmured more asking than thanking. "What happened?" she asked her sister.

"I don´t wanna talk about it." Meredith meant and went upstairs.

Derek closed the door looking down on the floor when he heard a familiar voice saying his name.

"What are you doing here Mark?" he asked annoyed and tired.

"Is Lexie in there?" Mark asked and pointed on the door.

"Yes she is but you´re not gonna-"

"Lexie!" Mark interrupted Derek by shouting her name which she and Meredith heard. Lexie looked at the door and Meredith who still was on the stairs looked at her when she stood up from her chair.

"Oh no no no! You´re not gonna go there!" she stopped her sister.

"Mer...let me talk to him please. I´m not that stupid to make this mistake three times." Lexie promised.

"You also said you were not that stupid to do it once." she claimed.

"Lexie!" Mark yelled again.

 _But when it comes to the point..._

 _The point you want to hear the truth..._

 _You need to expect everything._

"Stop it!" Derek pushed him away and pressed him against the wall. "Stop asking for her. After all you did you don´t get to think she still wants to see you."

"Leave him alone." Lexie suddenly stood outside and watched them.

"Lex.." Mark almost cried.

"Derek can you...can you please leave us alone." Lexie asked him and Derek left Mark.

"Don´t you dare to hurt her again." he whispered to him before he went to his car and drove to the hospital.

"So...what do you want?" Lexie closed the door and crossed her arms over her chest because it was cold.

"I miss you." he said.

"Mark...I can´t." she replied.

"I´m sorry...I really am...but this is my child. I want to have a family. I want to have a family with you."

"You know how weird this sounds? That you want to have a family with me and your lesbian best friend who carries your child." Lexie laughed mad.

"I know..I know..but I want to be a father...I want to have this child. I want to start a family with Callie and Arizona and-" he meant looking her in the eyes.

"And me?" she held back her tears.

 _And with all good that can come by telling the truth..._

 _You have to expect..._

"Of course I do...but don´t let me choose between you and her.." he whispered sorrowful.

"Why? Because you would choose Callie and the baby?" Lexie asked biting on her lips nervously.

"Yeah.." he meant after a pause. "I would choose her with the baby."

"I think our relationship...or whatever it was...just ended." she explained and put her hand on his cheek and kissed him softly. Afterwards she turned around and went inside before he could say anything.

 _...being hurt._


	25. It s not that easy being green

**Hey guys!**

 **I´m so so so sorry that I haven´t posted in so long. I just had like zero inspiration because my favorite couple (Slexie in case you didn´t know XD) broke up last chapter and I was so sad about my own story that I couldn´t write anymore XD.**

 **Well, now you guys have a long chapter (3 pages more than usually) and I hope you like it.**

 **Love ya**

 **Ps: So sorry I haven´t really used Crowen the last few chapters. But there will be more in a few.**

* * *

 **It´s not that easy being green**

 _It´s hard being a doctor._

 _Which decision should I make?_

 _What is wrong and right?_

 _What will work and what not?_

"Karev. Good to see you back at work." Lucy greeted Alex who came towards her yawning.

"Yeah. Perhaps it´s better when I distract myself with something." he replied faking a smile.

"Oh you have to work on your attitude to work with tiny humans." Arizona joined them with her big smile.

"Doctor Robbins. What are you doing here?" Lucy asked a bit annoyed of her interrupting them.

"Well, Alex is my resident today." she claimed and Lucy shook her head confused.

"No...look here...Karev´s with me." she showed her the plan where head of peds stood as attending by Alex´ name. "What does stand on our plan?" she asked the two of them.

"Head of peds." Alex shrugged and Arizona pulled out the plan.

"Here...it says Alex Karev – Arizona Robbins. I´m sure the thing with head of peds was just a mistake." Arizona grinned and Lucy got mad.

"Sure. Please...he´s fully yours." she meant stepping back.

 _We don´t have the right to prefer a patient._

 _We have to help them and stop their suffering no matter which skin-color, religion or political opinions they have._

"Good afternoon Mister uh...Clarington, my name´s doctor Grey I´m your doctor." Lexie opened the curtain to face a man and his wife.

"Miss...um...could you maybe bring me somewhere else?" the man asked whispering with his wife´s hand on his shoulder.

"Why? What´s the problem?" she came closer and the old man looked down at his hands.

"I just would like to be somewhere else." he repeated again and Lexie arched her eyebrows suspicious.

"Sure...um..I´m gonna look what we can do." she faked a smile and went to the nurses desk.

 _We are also not allowed to work on family._

 _We have to stand there and watch other doctors performing our work._

 _And that´s hard...especially when we know we are better than they are._

 _And trust me...every doctor thinks this about himself._

"So his BP could be better but everything´s fine." a cardiologist meant noting something in Henry´s chart.

"Are you sure? He looks so pale and is really weak." Teddy asked the doctor again.

"Teddy.." Henry tried to hold her back whispering.

"Doctor Altman I´m a pretty good cardiologist, you know?" the doctor mentioned to her sarcastically mad.

"Me too." she replied crossing her arms over her chest.

"Then why did you want another doctor to come when you´re a surgeon. You can read this on your own. This was a waste of time."he meant leaving the room and Henry hold his fake wife back before she could follow him.

"Son of a bitch." she cursed murmuring but Henry heard it and had to smile.

 _It´s hard to work with all the pressure of deciding about who can live and who has to die._

 _We need to stay focused no matter what happens in our private life._

 _It´s good to have something, where you can forget the work._

 _But often...doctors can´t do that._

"Doctor Shepherd...don´t you want to go home and get some sleep? You´ve been here the whole night." a nurse meant when she entered Izzie´s room where Derek sat on the chair next to her yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"I´m fine thank you." he replied and the nurse left him eye-rolling. He looked down at his shoes when suddenly Izzie said something.

"Good morning doctor Shepherd." she whispered huskily.

"Doctor Stevens. Hi." he smiled at her.

"How often do I have to tell you...it´s Izzie." she corrected him.

"So you remember?" he asked happily.

"Of course why shouldn´t I?" Izzie replied confused and sarcastically. "Why are you here?"

"There were complications during your surgery. I just wanted to check on you but it seems fine." he smiled relieved.

"I´m feeling so good. How are you?" she wanted to know.

"I´m feeling great now that I know you´re fine." Derek replied and took her hand. After a pause Izzie took a deep breath and smiled even brighter.

"Derek...what are you doing here?" she asked and Derek closed his eyes with a long sigh and leaned back in his chair.

"Nothing...I just wanted to check on you." he faked a smile and looked at her trying to hide the fear.

* * *

"Okay...Your heartbeats are a bit irregular so I prefer to have you here and do some tests if it´s okay for you." Cristina told the Mexican patient in the e.r. next to Lexie´s patient. But the man looked confused and his adult daughter nodded.

"I´m sorry...my dad doesn´t speak English...El médico quiere hacer algunas pruebas pero no necesita tener miedo _(The doctor will do some tests but you don´t have to be afraid.)_." the daughter explained to her father in Spanish.

"Okay...Well, then you should come with him so you can translate." Cristina meant and showed some nurses to help her to carry the bed into a room followed by mister Clarington´s eyes.

* * *

"So there´s no empty trauma room here?" Lexie asked the nurse Taylor.

"Doctor Grey...I told you these rooms are all full and moreover you are not allowed to exam a patient in there without a trauma." Taylor answered a bit mad.

"But he does not let me exam him as long as he stays here." Lexie explained stressed.

"Not my problem." the male nurse replied and went away.

"Ugh.." Lexie sighed and went back to her patient´s bed where now was enough place because Cristina´s patient was gone.

"I´m sorry mister Clarington I tried but there are no empty beds or rooms here." Lexie excused but the old man shook his head.

"It´s okay I can stay here." he smiled and Lexie arched her eyebrows.

"Really? What did change your mind?" she asked confused.

"Nothing, nothing." he lied and Lexie started the examination after a short second of confusion.

* * *

Every doctor got a page and met in the auditorium where doctor Webber stood on the stairs having a view over his staff.

"Dear ladies and gentlemen. As you know the fusion with the Mercy West is only a few days away. As you maybe noticed I shortened our staff and that´s what the chief of the Mercy West did too. Today some of the doctors that will work here for sure are coming to watch how it´s going on with us and that I can see if they are really as good as they are told to be." he explained and a whisper ran through the crowd. "They are not going to replace you. I am still thinking about whom I´m firing and there´s the possibility that you can be fired after the fusion. I´m really sorry to announce this but the management wanted it like that." Some of the doctors looked shocked others looked confident not getting fired.

"I need to go." Derek whispered to Bailey who stood next to him and looking at him confused when he went away.

"Thank you." Webber meant and turned around going to his office when the crowd slowly split.

"Doctor Shepherd. Sorry. I just needed to see her." Alex stood in Izzie´s room and turned around to Derek.

"No no. It´s okay." he replied and stopped at the end of her bed and put the chart on the table.

"Are there any changes?" Alex worried and went to the attending and looked into the chart.

"I´m afraid not. I´ll wait till tonight and if it won´t get better I´ll operate."he closed the chart so Alex couldn´t read anymore and the resident nodded.  
"I hope it will get better. I don´t want her to suffer." he sobbed.

"She won´t. I made a mistake, I will fix it." Derek said and left her room.

* * *

"You paged cardio- Cristina!" Teddy entered the room in which Cristina brought the Mexican patient.

"No I didn´t." she replied more asking.

"I did." her intern admitted quietly raising her hand and earning a mad look from Cristina.

"Doctor Yang go. I don´t need your help here." Teddy said mad and stepped to the patient which looked confused and scared.

"Excuse me...what´s going on here?" his daughter asked worried.

"Nothing." Cristina assured and continued the examination.

"Doctor Yang!" Teddy said harshly standing behind her.

"I didn´t page cardio cause it´s just a test. I can do do this." Cristina explained messing his blood pressure.

"The last time you said this a patient died." Teddy quickly closed her mouth after saying this.

"What?!" the daughter screamed which made her father even more anxious.

"Teddy I-"

"It´s doctor Altman for you. And now leave the patient. You´re off of my service." Teddy explained harsh but still controlled and Cristina turned her head to face her. After a short moment in which they stared into each others eyes Cristina let the instrument fall onto the bed and stamped out of the room.

"I´m really sorry for this incident. My name´s doctor Altman and I´m your doctor now." Teddy faked a smile and continued the examination.

* * *

"Okay...you have gallstones. We need to operate tonight. Doctor Bailey will do this." Lexie explained to mister Clarington and his wife before the nurses brought him into a patient´s room.

"Is she good?" his wife asked worried and whispering when her husband was a bit away.

"Oh she´s very good." Lexie assured smiling and watched the woman going behind his bed.

"Hello doctor. Could you please help me I guess I´m lost." a male voice behind Lexie asked. She turned around and faced the resident she met at the Mercy West when she was with her sister.

"Jackson right? Jackson Avery?" she asked and pointed on him smiling.

"Lexie Grey...Ha..last time you were blonde." he giggled and reached out his hand and Lexie shook it. In the meantime Mark entered the e.r. and stopped next to Callie at the nurses desk. He tried to avoid staring at Lexie but watched her from the corner of his eye.

"Who´s the guy Lexie´s talking to?" he asked jealous.

"I heard he´s one of the Mercy West guys. And that he´s Harper Avery´s grandson." Callie explained noting something into a chart.

"Harper Avery? You mean THE Harper Avery?" he asked shocked.

"Yep." Callie replied looking at her chart.

"I guess I was." Lexie smiled. "So how can I help you?"

"I am one of the doctors that has to prove they can work with the doctors here. And fortunately I can work with you today. Well, with doctor Bailey but I heard she´s working with you so.." he replied to her question.

"Wow that´s..cool. So I just gonna give you the information of the case. So his name is-" Lexie started but Jackson interrupted her.

"Why don´t we talk about it during lunch? 1 pm?" he asked smirking what benefit his light blue eyes but Lexie hesitated.

Callie noticed that Mark now looked straight to Lexie.

"Forget it." she looked at him and sighed. "She won´t take you back this time. You really screwed up with her. Well, we both did but you´re the one that has to pay for it. Deal with it." she explained annoyed.

"Why are you so..mean?" he asked surprised and looked at his best friend.

"That´s the pregnancy hormones. And I miss Arizona." Callie answered.

"Why don´t you talk to her?" Mark asked grinning.

"Because she left me!" Callie replied mad.

"But you slept with me." he joked but Callie thought it was not funny.

"And you slept with me!" she shouted through the e.r. leaving it and of course everybody including Lexie and Jackson heard it. Lexie looked at Callie walking away and then to Mark and they´re eyes met. Nobody of them could break it and Jackson followed Lexie´s eyes to Mark too.

"Everything´s okay? Is this your boyfriend?" he asked and Lexie shook her head and closed her eyes before she looked at him again.

"Yeah..No..no..I don´t have a boyfriend anymore. Lunch sounds good...I...I see you at 1." she faked a smile and also walked away. Jackson looked back at the person Lexie stared at – Mark – and noticed that he watched Lexie leaving sorrowful.

* * *

"Uh I hate Teddy." Cristina laid down next to Meredith on a bench in the resident´s locker room.

"I hate Derek."

"She embarrassed me in front of a patient." she told her friend.

"I just wanted to help him. I know something about neuro. I knew what to do." Meredith didn´t respond Cristina.

"She doesn´t want to understand that I am the best she can get." Cristina continued with her story also not replying to Meredith.

"He ignored me the whole night and day. I called him, paged him. He just doesn´t want to talk to me. He didn´t sleep at home!" Meredith got mad talking about her miserable situation.

"Teddy ignored me the past two weeks. I learned my lesson. She can take me back. But no she interrupts my cardio exam." Cristina crossed her arms over her chest.

"I thought you were off of her service...why did you do a cardio exam?" Meredith asked Cristina.

"I saw him in the e.r. and I needed cardio. Even if it was just messing the BP. She told the patient that my last cardio patient I had died."

"How dares she?" Meredith asked unbelievable and Cristina shrugged.

"Attending are dumb." she said and Meredith looked at her smiling before staring back at the ceiling.

"Attending are dumb." she replied and took Cristina´s hand.

* * *

Teddy ran through the hallways straight to Henry´s room.

"Henry!" she shouted when she entered his room to face him sitting in his bed playing with his jello. "Wha- What´s going on?"

"Hey...I´m bored. I thought we could spend some time together. Maybe go to the park?" he smiled at Teddy´s confused and anxious face.

"The park? Henry I have patient´s. I just ran away from a man with irregular heartbeats and I don´t know what causes them." she leaned against the wall rubbing her forehead.

"Well, you look like you need to relax. Can´t you just sit here and spend five minutes with me?" he grinned making place on his bed and straightening the blanket.

"Henry I-"

"Two minutes." he begged but Teddy hesitated. "You can say you had to examine someone."

"One minute and no second longer." she smiled and wanted to sit down.

"Wait! Can you bring me a fruit cup instead of this Jello? I´m not a big fan of it." he giggled and Teddy rolled her eyes going outside and taking two fruit cups from the tray with the meals the nurses put next to the desk.

"Here." she threw one towards him and sat down next to him starting eating hers when she noticed Henry staring at her and not eating his.

"Time´s running." she joked and he laughed.

"So how was your day so far?" he asked her before putting the spoon inside his mouth.

"Good...well, I had a little argue with Cristina and said something inappropriate in front of the patient. But she just doesn´t want to learn that she´s not the best." Teddy explained him.

"What did you say?" he asked taking another spoon with the fruits.

"Not important...You know I don´t want to embarrass her again." she answered and Henry nodded and rubbed the place his scar from the surgery was.

"What´s wrong? Does it hurt?" Teddy asked worried and put away her and his fruit cup.

"No..yeah..I got side effects of the pain killers they used on me so I asked for another one but they didn´t bring it yet." he explained and Teddy looked up.

"Side effects! Henry you´re a genius!" she hugged him and headed outside of the room before turning around and coming back to the door.

"Oh and the next time you want to change your dessert, you call the nurses." she smiled and ran back to her patient.

* * *

"I´m sorry. I´m afraid I don´t know what that means. Why is it important if my dad had a cold recently?" the daughter of Teddy´s patient asked.

"Because some cough syrups have an active ingredient called Dextromethorphan. It can cause palpitations. So did your father use one of these cough syrups?" Teddy asked and handed out a piece of paper with some cough syrup labels.

"This one." she pointed on one.

"Okay...when did he stop taking it?" Teddy opened the chart to note it.

"About one week ago." she counted.

"Hm...okay...that´s strange. Well, we´ll do some more tests and then I can tell you more. But for now thanks for the information." Teddy closed the chart after making some notes and left the patient again.

* * *

Lexie talked with her patient and his wife about the operation when Bailey entered the room.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Clarington. My name is doctor Bailey and I´m gonna operate you today. How are you feel-" she smiled but mister Clarington cut her off by talking to Lexie.

"She´s the brilliant surgeon? That woman´s gonna operate me?" he asked her quietly but loud enough so Miranda heard him.

"Excuse me? What´s the problem?" she asked into the round and Lexie shrugged.

"I don´t wan to be operated by her. I want another doctor. I don´t want this woman." he meant and Bailey looked to Lexie confused and she replied it.

"Doctor Grey...on a word please." she said and the doctors left the room.

"What did you tell him about me?" the attending asked and Lexie shrugged shocked.

"Nothing. I told his wife that you were great and that they were lucky to have you. I said nothing." she defended herself.

"Then what´s wrong? Is he a sexist? Did he say anything to you?" she asked and Lexie shook her head.

"No not really." she replied and Bailey nodded. "He behaved so strange the whole day."

"Okay...I have a theory. Page doctor Webber. He should do this. Maybe he has more luck." Bailey turned around and left.

"Wait! What theory?" Lexie asked her loudly but she didn´t answer. Lexie wanted to go in again when she saw that it was already 10 past 1 pm and remembered the meeting with Jackson. After a goodbye to the patient she headed into the cafeteria where Jackson already sat by a table.

* * *

"I already thought you wouldn´t come." he joked and showed her to sit down next to him.

"Yeah I had some struggles with our patient." she sat down and let out an exhausted sigh.

"Why?" Jackson asked eating his chips.

"He doesn´t want Bailey to operate him. I don´t know why. He´s completely normal to me but he was almost hysterical when he saw her." Lexie explained rubbing her forehead.

"Who was hysterical?" Alex asked and sat down next to them followed by Meredith.

"My patient." Lexie stole a fry from her sisters tray.

"Hey! These are mine." she warned her.

"What´s with your patient?" Alex wanted to know taking a bite of his sandwich.

"He doesn´t want to be operated by doctor Bailey." Jackson mentioned to them and Meredith and Alex looked at him.

"Who are you?" Meredith asked snoopy.

"Jackson Avery. I´m from the Mercy West." he said smiling but both kinda looked annoyed of his presence.

"Why does he not want to be operated by Bailey?" Alex continued.

"I don´t know. He´s normal to me." Lexie sighed helpless.

"Dude, you´re smart. You´re Lexipedia. He´s a racist." Alex chuckled.

"A racist?" Jackson asked. He still didn´t know how Bailey looked like.

"No he´s not...he´s just...um..just...oh god...he´s a racist." Lexie stuttered and Alex giggled. Cristina came and sat down next to her best friend and also stole a fry.

"What´s wrong with you guys?" Meredith asked mad.

"I need carbs. And a heart." Cristina said with her mouth full.

"You must be Cristina Yang. I heard from you even at the Mercy West." Jackson explained smirking.

"And you are?" Cristina asked interested.

"Jackson Avery." he shook her hand.

"Avery? You mean-" Cristina stuttered, her eyes widened.

"Yeah as in Harper Avery." Jackson cut her off and looked down at his food embarrassed. "He´s my grandfather." he whispered. Jackson hated it when everybody started showing interest as soon as he tells he´s a relative of Harper Avery. He wants to be respected as the surgeon he is and not because of his famous grandfather.

"Good afternoon doctors. I have a huge case. Burn patient – skin donation. Any volunteers?" Mark came to their table looking around, his eyes stopping on Lexie. "Little Grey?"

"I have a patient." her voice was shaky when she stood up and left the table not looking at Mark who stared at her leaving. Again Jackson tried to figure out what happened between them.

"Anyone else?" he asked disappointed. "You.." he looked at Jackson. "You look perfect for plastic surgery."

"Um...I´m sorry I...I don´t like being reduced on my outsides." he stuttered. "And I´m working with doctor bailey today so excuse me please." Jackson stood up and left the table with his tray while Mark looked at the three familiar residents with asking eyes.

"Sorry. I got Robbins." Alex answered. Mark didn´t even dare to ask Meredith feeling the tensions between them.

"Yang.." he looked at Cristina hoping she would agree.

"Plastics?" Cristina asked disgusted.

"It´s not a heart but as I heard you need some more hours in any other specialty. This surgery will take at least 8 hours." he winked at her when she rolled her eyes.

"Fine. When?" she asked annoyed.

"In 2 hours." Mark smiled relieved and left the table again.

"You know you were his last choice. Attending don´t like you." Meredith mentioned to her.

"I don´t care. He can be happy that he got me." Cristina left the table again so she could study in the library.

* * *

"I can´t believe it...this patient should had got operated yesterday." a surgeon stood in Izzie´s room with her chart talking to himself in front of the patient´s boyfriend.

"But doctor Shepherd meant that-" he wanted to say but he got cut off.

""I don´t care what this doctor said...He risked this patient´s life." the man explained harshly.

"Izzie." Derek stood behind him leaning against the wall. "Her name is Izzie. And I didn´t risk her life." he came closer to the unfamiliar surgeon and faced Alex who looked terrified. "I wanted to wait. In some case the bleeding goes away on it´s own. I would have operated tonight." he faked a smile and tore the chart out of the other doctor´s hands.

"Doctor Shepherd." he reached out his hand. "And you must be Doctor Dixon. Mercy West´s best neuro surgeon." Derek recognized him.

"Indeed." Dixon shook his hand. "Webber told me I should check on um..." he looked down on a note book.

"Stevens...Isobel Stevens." Derek helped him.

"Right. He wanted a second opinion." Dixon also faked a smile.

"Did he? I´m pretty sure he could have asked the neuro surgeons at this hospital...why would he ask you?" Derek wanted to know sarcastically offending.

"We both know that we are the best neuro surgeons in Seattle." the other doctor replied not less offending.

"Maybe you are...I´m the best from America." Derek grinned and Dixon stopped.

"Alex what´s going on?" Izzie asked huskily when she woke up from the men arguing.

"Iz...nothing it´s fine...That´s doctor Di-" Alex came to Izzie but the Mercy West neuro surgeon interrupted him.

"I´m doctor Dixon...I took over your case." he meant and Izzie arched her eyes confused.

"I thought you were just the second opinion." Derek also stopped smiling and narrowed his eyes going to the other side of the bed.

"I´m gonna operate soon. I´m pretty sure doctor Shepherd wants to assist me when I correct his mistake...to learn something." He told Izzie but looked at Derek who shook his head uncomprehending.

"Mistake..operation..Alex what are they talking about." Izzie asked terrified grabbing Alex´ hand.

"Nothing..." he whispered to her before he turned to the neuro gods again. "Due all respect could you please discuss this somewhere else? That´s not professional behavior that´s..that´s childish." Alex explained mad and Derek and his unfriendly competitor looked at each other narrowing their eyes.

* * *

"He embarrassed me in front of a patient." Derek pointed on Dixon when they stood in Webber´s office.

"I did not. I was saying the truth." Dixon justified his acting.

"Which was clearly to embarrass me!" Derek explained to Richard who rubbed his forehead.

"Enough..." he ordered and the doctors remained quiet. "I have so much going on with the management firing my staff, doctors marrying patients, love triangles and the fusion. I can not deal with two of the best neuro surgeons fighting over a patient." he explained and Derek rolled his eyes.

"I´m not-" he started but Webber showed him with his hand to stop.

"Doctor Shepherd I told doctor Dixon to look at Steven´s case and to tell his opinion. But due all respect doctor Dixon...I never wanted you to take over the case. Maybe we are handling things different here and maybe it´s not the way you should go." Webber looked at him.

"So you´re firing me? You don´t want me here after the fusion?" Dixon asked harshly and Webber nodded.

"Fine. I´ll go...I already knew this hospital would be a bad choice. I can find hospitals that are happy to have me and respect me as the greatness I am." he stormed out of the office and left them behind.

"Thank you." Derek smiled but Webber didn´t.

"Shepherd I know you think you´re always right. And you really are one of the best neuro surgeons. But you shouldn´t always count on it. There can always be someone with a better plan. And there can always be someone that´s better than you. You can´t do this alone. You have to except help from your loved ones." Richard fold his hands together and looked him deeply into the eyes.

"Are you talking about my love life?" Derek wondered.

"This hospital might be big but I´m the chief and I am not excluded from hearing the rumors." he explained.

* * *

"We need to operate your dad as soon as possible. Though it´s just a cardiac pacemaker there are also some risks you have to know." Teddy talked with the daughter of her patient.

"I..I can´t...I don´t know what to think." she replied her eyes tearing up.

"I know you´re afraid..but I want to assure you that I´ll give my best. If you could please sign this?" Teddy gave her a chart and the daughter signed it. "Thank you. We prep him immediately."

* * *

"Okay Mister Clarington I got a new surgeon for you. It´s doctor Webber he´s the chief of surgery." Lexie told him and his wife and only seconds later Webber entered the room and the patient rolled his eyes.

"I don´t want him either." he said and Richard looked confused.

"Mister Clarington he´s the best surgeon here with the most experience." Lexie tried to comfort him and Webber sighed.

"Doctor Grey please...isn´t there any other doctor." his wife asked quietly and Lexie looked at Webber who heard the wife and showed the intern to come here.

"Are there any other general surgeons available?" Lexie asked him, now pretty sure that Jackson was right.

"No their not. He has to let me operate him otherwise the pain gets even worse." Richard explained and Lexie nodded.

"Okay." she whispered and Webber left.

"Will there be another surgeon?" the wife asked hoping.

"Mister Clarington. I don´t care about you being a racist and you being so damn stupid to be in pain than to finally get rid of these gallstones. I´m a doctor...I´m your doctor and..I...I have to treat you. But it´s your decision. You can get this operation with doctor Webber or you can go home and find another hospital. But good luck and at this moment your pain should be so bad that you can´t stand straight." she explained harshly leaning over to the man. Then she stepped back and looked at the couple. "Page me when you have decided."

* * *

Alex sat on the end of Izzie´s bed sobbing quietly so she didn´t wake up.

"Alex? What´s wrong why are you crying?" she asked yawning. Alex inhaled deeply. He knew it wouldn´t make sense to tell her everything´s fine and he also knew she would forget if he tells her.

"Because of you!" he stood up and wiped away the tears. "Because you´re sick. Because you forget everything. Because you wanted this surgery and I let you." he explained and got louder and closer with every sentence.

"I don´t know what you mean..." she replied shocked.

"Exactly. Cause you forget everything within 30 seconds. I...I don´t know what to do you...you´re the love of my life and I don´t want to let you go...but...but you don´t even let me that decision cause you signed a freaking DNR! I..I hate you so much for doing this...I hate you so much because it hurts me that you´re sick...I hate you that I love you...And I love you so much that I would like to put a pillow on your face so you don´t have to suffer anymore." he cried and yelled at once what made her cry.

"Alex I-" she wanted to say but he stormed out of the room. He hates when someone sees him weak.

* * *

"Okay guys...Let´s give this man a cardiac pacemaker!" Teddy said holding out her hand when she stood in front of the Mexican patient´s opened chest. "Here you guy little guy..." she placed the pacemaker when suddenly his BP dropped.

"What´s going on?" she yelled and tried to fix it stressed when he suddenly flat-lined. "Paddles!"

 _We can´t show our grief about the patient we lost._

 _We have to stay strong so the next patient trusts us._

 _When we show our sadness we´re weak_

 _and when we don´t show any emotions we´re heartless._

"Doctor Altman! How did it go? Is he fine?" the daughter asked when Teddy came towards her exhaling deeply.

"No..no no no..please tell me it´s not true." The girl begged tearing up.

"Your father had a really weak heart. We tried everything in our power to save him but we failed. I´m sorry to tell you...your father is dead." Teddy fought with her tears while explaining it to her.

"No..no no.." The girl put her hand on her mouth and sat down crying heavily.

"I´m really sorry." Teddy said heartbroken before she left the patient and went to the attending locker room, where she sat down on the couch.

"Hey...what´s going on?" doctor Dixon asked when he saw her wiping away a tear.

"I lost a patient." she said sobbing.

"I´m really sorry. I lost my job." he tried to cheer her up.

"I´m sorry." she replied.

"Would you like to go to this bar across the street? Heard they have good drinks." he suggested and Teddy looked up to him. She hesitated but then nodded.

"Yeah...can you wait a few minutes? I´ll be right back. Just need to do something first." she smiled and left the room after he agreed.

 _Our private life has to stay at home._

 _We need to be professional and act like nothing´s wrong._

 _We are the doctors. Not the patients._

 _We have to listen to their problems not ours._

Meredith was checking Henry´s vitals and noting them when he suddenly spoke up.

"Do you think she likes me?" he asked watching the resident.

"Who?" she asked smiling.

"Teddy...doctor Altman. Do you think she has feelings for me?" he wanted know and Meredith looked at him while noting his blood pressure.

"I don´t know. Do you?" she put a wisp of her hair behind her ear.

"I have the feeling she does...I´m a handsome guy right?" he joked and Meredith giggled.

"My fiancé would not be happy about this but yes you are." she smiled and so did Henry. "but I´m not pretty sure if my fiancé still wants me so..." she stopped smiling and continued checking him with the stethoscope.

"Why?" Henry asked carrying.

"I messed up with some things and...and now he´s mad at me." she explained the short form.

"Maybe you should tell him how you feel." Henry suggested and Meredith smiled weakly when Teddy entered the room.

"Hey you. Just wanted to see if everything´s alright." she said and smiling and Henry´s eyes immediately sparkled when he saw her.

"Yeah..sure..I´m..I´m in good hands." he looked at Meredith who replied the smile. "You wanna spend some time with me?..Us?" he stuttered nervously.

"No sorry I have a date tonight...See you tomorrow." she waved him goodbye before going back to the locker room and changing into normal clothes and going out with the doctor she met.

"Maybe we both should say what we feel." Meredith meant after finishing the examination and watching Henry who sighed and nodded playing with his hands.

"Good night." she said leaving the room.

"Good night." Henry whispered sadly.

 _We have to overcome our fears._

 _We have to accept things as they are and cope with them._

 _But still be there for the patients._

Mister Clarington sat in his bed dealing with the pain while his wife was getting a coffee, when he saw the daughter of Teddy´s patient sitting on a bench and crying.

"Hey you." he called her and she looked up at him. "Yes you. You´re the girl from the emergency room. The Mexican. What´s wrong?" he asked and the crying girl came closer to the door.

"My dad...he...he died." she sobbed.

"I..I´m sorry." the old man showed his respect.

"Thank you." she whispered huskily. For a moment it was completely silent when a deep breath from the girl stopped it.

"I should go now...call my aunt. Thanks for listening though. And I hope you get better soon. You seem very nice." she said and he nodded biting on his lip nervously while she left. A few minutes later his wife entered the room facing him how he tries to stand up.

"Hey hey! You shouldn´t move so much. Let me help you." she put the coffee on the table and helped him back into the bed.

"Please page doctor Grey and tell her...tell her that I want the surgery." he asked his wife who looked at him confused.

 _Being a doctor isn´t just doing a job._

 _It´s scary. It demands everything from you._

 _Your passion._

"Hey Izzie...How are you doing?" Lexie leaned against the door of Izzie´s room. "I mean I heard it from Meredith but..How are you doing?"

"Well, I don´t know." Izzie replied. An awkward silence filled the air.

"We haven´t spoken in a while...a long while..." Lexie joked and Izzie smiled and looked up to her.

"Yeah...I mean of course I heard everything about you and..and Mark." Izzie explained.

"Yeah let´s not talk about this...How´s it going with you?"

"You mean besides the fact that Alex wants to suffocate me with a pillow? I guess I´m okay." Izzie said and Lexie nodded when she suddenly recognized it.

"Wait! That´s not possible! When was he here?" she asked excited.

"Um...30 minutes ago I guess why- oh god...I I remember.." she also noticed and smiled happily.

"I´ll page him." Lexie replied smiling. A few minutes later he met him at the hallway.

 _Your joy._

"Great idea Alex. Scream at your sick girlfriend that you want to press a pillow on her face." she acted.

"Mind your own business." he said harshly passing her when he suddenly stopped and turned around. "Wait! What did you just say? Who told you?"

"Izzie...she told me." Lexie smiled from one ear to another when Alex run into his girlfriend´s room.

"You remember?" he asked breathless.

"I do." she smiled and Alex came to her and hugged her heavily.

"I love you so much." he said and she pulled away.

"I love you too. But I think you owe me an apologize for what you said." she joked.

"I really do...I´m so sorry...I...was so upset and mad and everything I...I didn´t think about it." he stuttered happily.

"It´s okay." she pulled his face to her´s and kissed him softly before hugging him again.

"I love you so much...I love you..I-" Alex repeated when suddenly her grip loosened. He pulled away and noticed that she wasn´t awake anymore and her heart flatlined.

 _Your willpower._

"Crash cart!" he screamed and started the revival. A few nurses entered the room. Lexie who was with Webber on the way to their patient noticed something going on and they ran to the room too.

"Karev! Stop it!" Webber ordered but Alex ignored him.

"Alex...she has a DNR. She doesn´t want you to keep her alive." Lexie tried to stop him but he didn´t.

"Paddles!" he ordered and looked at the nurse that didn´t move. "Paddles!" he said louder and the nurse looked at Webber and so did Alex.

"She´s one of your residents...you can´t just let her die!" he cried continuing the heart massage. Webber looked at the monitor, the paddles and Alex and took a deep breath.

"Screw it! Paddles!" he took over Alex´ place and put the paddles on her chest. "Charge to 200. Clear!" Izzie´s body jumped high at the electricity going through her body.

"No change. Charge to 250. Clear!" Webber tried again while Lexie ventilated her. Alex stood by the wall crying like a baby while watching Izzie´s body going up again but still not changing.

"Charge to 300. Clear!" Alex heard Webber´s voice blurred and saw that Derek entered the room.

"What happened?" he shouted.

"She just flatlined." a nurse explained and Derek took over Richard´s part.

"300 go!" he ordered and Webber sighed.

"We tried 3 times...she doesn´t respond." he explained and Lexie looked at Derek with her huge brown Bambi eyes still ventilating her.

 _Your life._

"300!" Derek ignored his chief and the nurses charged again. "Clear!" he shouted and Izzie´s body jumped up again. Suddenly her eyes opened and everybody exhaled relieved.

 _It´s hard being a doctor._

 _You have to give everything._

 _You think you learned everything in med school._

 _You think you know how to handle challenging moments._

A half hour passed and Alex was sent home so Izzie could get some rest. Derek sat at the couch in her room again, this time even more nervous.

"Hey." Meredith entered the room.

"Hey." Derek sighed tired.

"Lexie told me...I´m very happy you saved her." she tried to cheer him up.

"It wouldn´t have happened when I didn´t do this mistake." he explained mad at himself.

"You don´t know." she came closer and stopped behind him. A moment of silence filled the air.

"You want to come home with me?" she asked him with hopeful thoughts.

 _In medical way you do._

 _But the most challenging part of being a doctor is_

 _handling your private life._

 _It´s hard being a doctor._

"I can´t..." he replied and crashed her hopes. Meredith´s hand found place on Derek´s shoulder and he shivered at her touch.

"Derek, I love you." she whispered with a shaking voice and tears in her eyes when Derek put his hand on her´s. He didn´t reply. Meredith pulled her hand away and left the room to drive home.

 _It´s even harder not being one._

"I love you too." Derek whispered but she was long gone.


	26. superheroes

**Hey guys!**

 **Please welcome a new character A...**

 **And oh my god my inner monologue is so similar to the one of 14x03 and I wrote it before I watched it XD**

 **Superheroes**

 _We are doctors._

 _In some people´s eyes we´re scary._

 _In other´s we are superheroes._

 _But we aren´t._

"Hey you!" Teddy greeted Henry when she entered his room with two fruit cups in her hand.

"Wow...don´t you have patients?" he smiled at her realizing how much he loves her.

"No I´m on call and nobody needs me right now. Fruit cup?" she explained and threw one of them towards Henry before sitting down on his bed.

"Sure...So how was your date with this guy yesterday?" he asked a bit jealous opening the dessert.

"God...let´s not talk about this...he was so self-centered and only talked about Shepherd´s attitude. I knew that this won´t work out after 15 minutes. God, aren´t there normal guys out there?" she asked sarcastically acting like she was praying while Henry looked down at his hands.

"Apparently not.." he murmured.

"Anyways...how are you feeling?" she concentrated on him again, noticing that something´s wrong.

"Good,...good...yeah Webber meant I can go home soon..." Henry meant faking a smile.

"You don´t seem happy.." Teddy noticed and grabbed his hand. "What´s wrong?"

"Nothing...I...I just don´t know if I can handle the diabetes alone and.." He explained pulling his hand away.

"And?" Teddy wanted him to finish his sentence.

"And I´m alone at home...I´m gonna miss these midday fruit cup dates." He chuckled and Teddy scoffed.

"You can visit me here." she offered joking.

"Funny...Finally coming home from hospital and then coming again for fruit cups...by the way these are disgusting." he laughed and so did Teddy.

"I´m gonna visit you. I´m your wifey. And I have to check if you take you meds so.." she replied and both started smiling again.

 _We are human beings._

 _We make mistakes._

 _We´re not flawless._

 _We´re not fearless._

 _We are not made out of steal._

Cristina was listening to some music, while dancing through the apartment brushing her teeth, when Owen opened the door from the bedroom and watched her.

"Hey." she greeted him with throwing her arms into the sky and smiling with the toothbrush in her mouth.

"What...are you doing?" Owen stepped into the living room smiling at his funny looking girlfriend.

"I´m getting ready for work." she explained. "Join me." she pulled the headphone plug out of her phone and turned it on the highest volume while coming closer to Owen. "Come on." she took his hands and started dancing around him.

"Cristina I-"

"No complaining...this is good for you." she assured and after a moment of hesitation he started dancing with her which made both laughing even more. Owen started brewing some coffee – still dancing – when Cristina looked at the letters they got.

"Unimportant, unimportant, my mother, unimportant,.." she sorted them through by throwing the unimportant ones – and her mother´s – on the floor. "Major Hunt." she noticed and opened it confused as Owen didn´t react, and started reading.

"There you go two hot coff- why did you turn off the music?" he asked when he noticed that it was silent in their apartment and Cristina stood at the desk holding a letter and not looking up from it.

"Cristina what´s wrong?" Owen put the cups on the desk and grabbed her shoulder worried.

"Owen this letter´s for you...it´s from the army...they...they want you back to Iraq."

 _Our emotions can let us go wild._

 _Sometimes we have to let them out._

 _Sometimes we push them back into the darkest corner of our head._

"Meredith come on...we´ll be late to work." Lexie knocked at Meredith´s door for like the 100th time.

"She´s still not answering?" Alex asked standing at the end of the hallway ready to go and Lexie replied with a soft head-shaking. He came closer and bumped against the door.

"Mer open the door. Come out! Don´t go all dark and twisty again." he begged loudly.

"Dark and twisty?" Lexie asked confused.

"Long story before you were here...not important now." Alex explained. "Enough." he said after no reply from the other side of the door and opened it, to face Meredith lying in bed her arms wrapped around a bottle tequila and the curtains closed.

"Come on Mer we have to go to work." he pulled away the blanket a bit but Meredith didn´t turn around.

"I don´t wanna go to work." she said huskily.

"I don´t wanna go to work either." Lexie replied and Alex looked at her mad.

"But we have to. Come." he tried to turn her around but she wouldn´t let him. Alex sighed looking at Lexie who still stood in the doorway. Then he laid down next to Meredith and wrapped his arms around her. Lexie watched them confused how they just lay there and didn´t say anything.

"Um...should I wait or go? Cause I´m an intern...I can´t allow myself to be late." she explained confused but got no answer. "I´ll go." she murmured and left them two lying in bed.

"You stink like a sponge drank in tequila." Alex said smiling.

"I hate you." Meredith whispered trying to hold back the tears.

"You love me." Alex replied coming even closer to her.

"Derek didn´t want to come home with me yesterday. You think he´ll break up with me?" Meredith asked with a shaking voice.

"He´d be a fool." Alex replied.

"He didn´t say I love you back." Meredith whispered again.

"Want me to kick his ass?" Alex asked which caused Meredith smiling. "Izzie remembered yesterday. And then she died in my arms."

"Want me to kick her ass?" Meredith replied asking and Alex had to smile too. They remained lying and smiling over their special friendship.

 _In some points it´s right._

 _We are kind of superheroes._

 _We save lives. We cut out giant tumors._

 _But at the end of the day, at the end of our shift,_

 _we´re normal._

 _We´re doctors, not superheroes._

"Hello stranger!" Derek, who stood by the nurse´s desk filling in some charts, heard behind his back. The voice was too familiar to not know who it was and when he turned around he faced a smiling woman.

"Amy! What are you doing here?" he asked happily hugging his sister.

"What I´m doing here? You don´t call, text me...I had to hear from Addison that you´re engaged." she meant not breaking the hug.

"Addison?" Derek pulled away looking at her confused.

"Yeah you know your crush from high school. I´m working with her at the Oceanside Wellness...a private practice mostly for pregnancy things." Amelia explained.

"I´m here too." a woman with gray hair stepped forward.

"Mum." Derek recognized her and hugged her too. "Why didn´t you call? I could have sent an escort for you."

"I don´t need an escort I can call a cab on my own." his mother replied smiling and ending the hug. "I wanted to surprise you and as the universe wanted it one of my daughters has an interesting case here." she continued and put her hand on Amelia´s shoulder.

"So you didn´t came for me. You came for a brain." Derek crossed his arms in front of his chest acting mad.

"I did also come for you.." she added quickly, smiling awkwardly.

"Well, I will look at the case." Derek meant without asking for allowance.

"I didn´t want you to-" Amelia wanted to reply but got cut off.

"Amy!" she heard Mark calling her behind her.

"Uh uh...only my brother is allowed to call me Amy." she went towards him and hugged him.

"Oh come on. I´m like your second brother." he giggled.

"Hardly." Amelia replied the giggle and Mark ended the hug when he noticed Derek´s mother.

"Mrs. Shepherd." he smiled and went to her reaching out his hand.

"Oh since when are we so formal. Come to me boy." she hugged him tight and Mark felt a bit overwhelmed.

"What are you doing here?" he asked after their hug and Amelia looked at Derek.

"Visiting Derek of course." she winked at her brother smiling.

* * *

"Hello doctor Yang. Do you have any case I could-" Lexie greeted Cristina when she saw her on the hallway but Cristina just passed her without any reaction. "...okay...why is everybody ignoring me?!"

"Everybody is what?" Derek asked her when he suddenly stood next to her and they went towards Izzie´s room.

"Everybody´s ignoring me. Cristina, Alex, Meredith...oh sorry...to soon?" she asked quickly but Derek didn´t reply on that.

"You know when the fusion starts?" Derek asked her.

"...obviously you too..." Lexie replied unbelievable that nobody listened to her.

"Hm?" Derek asked concentrated on the chart.

"On Friday." Lexie answered him.

"Friday? That´s in two days!" he eventually looked at her.

"I know. I´m excited for the new surgeons." Lexie smiled happily.

"That´s...unbelievable." Derek ignored her again and left her walking straight to Richard´s office.

"Seriously?" Lexie scoffed mad and continued her lonely walk through the hallways.

* * *

"So you were doing nothing to stop this?" Derek leaned on his arms at Richard´s desk.

"I already told you, I never intended to. I wanted to save this hospital and that was the only way." he justified himself.

"I can´t understand how you could agree to that." Derek walked around nervously.

"I thought we eventually ended this topic – why are you bringing it up again?" Richard asked confused but Derek didn´t answer still looking at the floor while walking. "Is it because you haven´t talked to Meredith yet or because your sister is here?" the chief asked and Derek looked up madly.

"You don´t get to tell me I am mad because of my family´s visit." he almost threatened him.

"I just thought that after she almost begged me to let her operate here you were afraid of losing your job." Webber explained and Derek scoffed.

"I would never be afraid of losing my job to my sister. She has a good job and she always says she can do that and after she messed up, she comes to me and begs for help." Derek told him.

"Sounds similar to me." Webber murmured.

"What did you say?" his employee asked angrily, his hands turning into fists.

"You haven´t spoken with Meredith yet huh?" Richard asked comforting and Derek calmed down again sitting down on the couch.

"I lost her. I´m constantly losing her." Derek meant cradling his head in his hands while Richard sighed. "I love her so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But sometimes...sometimes I have the feeling she does not."

"Maybe you should tell her what you feel." Richard tried to comfort his neuro surgeon.

"I do...I do it all the time. I just...don´t know what I can do more. I want to be with her but I constantly lose her." he looked up and hold back his tears.

"You know...when I had an affair with Ellis Grey I had to lie to Adele so often. I felt guilty for lying but I knew the truth would more than just hurt her. I only wanted the best for her." Richard explained him.

"How is that similar to us?" Derek wanted to know confused.

"Meredith felt the same. She loves you so much, and she doesn´t want you to be hurt. So she lied to you. You are Adele and she is me." the chief told him and Derek sighed.

* * *

Lexie noticed that she worked with Shepherd today and went to the neuro wing. At least somebody she could talk to...though Derek ignored her. When she arrived at the nurse´s desk of the unit she asked where doctor Shepherd was and the nurse pointed on the scan room.

"Oh...hello I thought doctor Shepherd was here." she excused herself when she entered it and saw a woman.

"I am doctor Shepherd." the woman turned out to be Amelia and Lexie looked at her rather confused. "I´m sure you thought my brother would be here...I´m Derek´s sister." Amelia reached out her hand and Lexie shook it.

"Oh...yeah sorry I didn´t know he had sisters. I´m Lexie Grey." Lexie replied smiling.

"You aren´t my brother´s fiancé, are you?" Amelia asked confused.

"No..no I´m her sister...well, half sister." she explained and the attending nodded.

"Well, then...I´ll present you the case...um...34 year old woman with a tumor in her cortex visualis." Amelia started and Lexie looked at the scans.

"Isn´t it inoperable?" she asked concentrated remembering every word.

"It is...but not for me." Amelia assured confident.

"But if you go in under the wrong angle she could get blind...or you could hurt the cerebellum." Lexie noticed.

"So wouldn´t it be really cool to heal this woman?" Amelia smiled still very confident.

"What...are you some kind of superhero?" Lexie scoffed sarcastically.

"I like to call myself one." Amelia smiled and stared at the scans putting her hands on her hips. "You want to be one too?" she looked over to Lexie who was still skeptical.

* * *

Meredith and Alex walked into the resident´s locker room to change when they saw Cristina sitting on the bench staring at the wall.

"What´s wrong with both of you, that you look like paralyzed?" Alex asked annoyed of their moods but both didn´t reply. "Fine." he said and left the room after changing into his scrubs. Meredith also changed her clothes but sat down next to Cristina.

"Derek didn´t came home yesterday. He didn´t say I love you back. Do you think he´ll leave me?" she asked.

"Mer..." Cristina replied huskily and still staring at the wall.

"I mean I get it. I lied to him and I...it was my fault that Izzie almost died...but I only want-"

"Meredith! Could you please stop talking about your life all the time? For just one minute?" Cristina shouted and looked at the shocked Meredith.

"I..I..I´m sorry. I thought I could-" she stuttered. But Cristina cut her off again by standing up.

"No! Stop saying I, I, I...The whole world does not turn around you...you are not the sun! It does not...always has to be about you and your perfect life with your perfect McDreamy." Cristina leaned against the wall and looked at her shoes while Meredith watched her confused.

"My perfect life? Are you even listening to what you´re saying? My fiancé doesn´t talk to me and I? I´m as good as infertile and almost killed one of my best friends. My mother had Alzheimer and died because of it. My dad left me and started a new family. I drowned and had my hand in body with a bomb in it in the same year. My life is anything but perfect!" Meredith replied angrily and Cristina looked at her not regretting what she said.

"And you think mine is? My tutor fired me, and Izzie´s also one of my best friends. I´m the one she came to when she thought something was wrong. It was me who had to go through the DNR with her and then not follow her last wish. And Owen? He has to go back to Iraq!" Cristina replied shouting and pointing on herself. "But I´m still sitting here, listening to your crap instead of being with Owen...because you´re my person and that´s what I have to do for you. But when do you listen to me?" Meredith sat on the bench unbelievable what she heard.

"Wait, wait, wait...Owen´s going back to Iraq?" she asked shocked.

"Yes Meredith..he´s going back." Cristina replied still mad.

* * *

"So you want to go back?" Richard sat on his chair folding his hands together watching Owen.

"I..I have to." Owen stuttered on his typical way.

"I mean I understand..it´s your motherland...but...I´m very sorry to lose my head of trauma surgery." Webber looked at the files. "We are losing our residents and interns but the attendings for trauma are rare at Mercy West."

"I..I know. I don´t wanna go either. I have built up a life here. I was finally cured from my PTS. I..I have Cristina and wanted to start a future with her. I don´t know for how long this will take." Owen worried about his future.

"Well, you should know, doctor Hunt, that you will always have a place here." Webber assured him and Owen nodded.

"Thank you." he whispered thankfully before leaving the office.

* * *

"Derek? What are you doing here?" Amelia asked when she entered her patient´s room.

"Hm? I´m taking over the case." Derek replied not really showing any regret.

"I didn´t ask you to." Amelia mentioned confused

"I know. You should have." her brother said self confident.

"Derek, this is my patient. Step away!" Amelia meant harshly but controlled and Lexie switched gaze between the siblings not sure what to think about it.

"I´m afraid this tumor is inoperable and-" Derek completely ignored his sister and turned back to the patient.

"Derek." She replied angrily.

"And I´m very sorry for telling you this but-" Derek continued ignoring Amelia.

"Doctor Shepherd. Step away from my patient." Amelia now said loudly and harshly.

"Amy I-" Derek turned back to face the angry Amelia and overwhelmed Lexie.

"My name is Amelia. I´m not your little sister you need to protect anymore. I´m an adult. I am a brilliant surgeon." She defended herself in front of Derek when he went to her and pulled her aside.

"Amelia...the procedure is very risky...I just wan to-" He tried to explain whispering but Amelia cut him off.

"Help me? I don´t need your help anymore. I needed it a year ago when I was a drug addict but not now. I can do this on my own."she whispered back very harshly and hold back her tears.

"Amy. Give me the chart. You´re not in the ability to do this."Derek hold out his hand but Amelia didn´t react and looked him straight into the eyes.

"You don´t get to tell me what I can and can´t do." she let one tear out and pressed her lips together.

"Amy. Give me the chart." Derek asked her again and looked to Lexie for a short moment and saw that she was very uncomfortable with this family feud.

"I will never-" she wanted to say but her brother cut her off.

"Amelia! I´m not gonna let you do this. This tumor is impossible to remove. All you would do is kill this woman." he ordered her still whispering and Amelia bit on her lip nervously and sniffing. "Now give me the chart." he hold his hand out again and this time more demanding. Amelia looked on the ceiling to hold back her tears an pressed her lips together before handing him out the chart. "Lexie you´re on my service for the rest of the day. Give doctor Shepherd time to rest."he meant and Lexie nodded unsure after looking at Amelia who stared at her brother again.

"Um...yes doctor Shepherd." she replied and swallowed nervously when they went back to the patient and left Amelia at the door.

* * *

Meredith was sitting in the cafeteria with Alex talking about Cristina and Owen.

"I can´t believe he has to go back. They eventually lived a normal life. Hey are you even listening?!" Meredith clapped with her hands when she noticed Alex looking into a different direction.

"Hm what? Oh yeah so sad." he pretended to listen.

"What are you looking at?" Meredith tried to follow his gaze.

"This woman who sits over there looks around for 10 minutes. She hasn´t touched her food once." Alex noticed and pointed on her with his fork.

"You think she´s confused? Schizophrenic or something?" she asked him watching her.

"I don´t know. Maybe she sneaked out of the psych." he giggled and Meredith rolled her eyes.

"You know what I´m gonna ask her." she stood up and went towards her followed by Alex´ eyes.

"Hello. Can I help you?" she asked friendly and the gray haired woman looked at her.

"Oh no thank you. I´m looking for my son...he said he would be here ten minutes ago." she replied and continued looking around. In the meantime Lexie joined Alex and sighed exhausted when she finally sat down.

"Do you know Amelia Shepherd?" she asked him and Alex shook his head softly still staring at Meredith. "She´s a hardcore surgeon...and Derek´s little sister...hey! Are you ignoring me?" Lexie asked madly.

"Hush! I want to listen to them." Alex replied not looking at Lexie who looked around confused.

"Whom?" she asked whispering.

"Meredith and this lady over there." Alex now looked to Lexie and then both watched their friend.

"Who is that?" Lexie asked and Alex shrugged.

"Do you know the patient´s ID? I can find out if he has an examination or something." Meredith tried to help.

"No he´s not a patient. He works here." the lady answered smiling.

"Really who is-" Meredith wanted to know when someone cut her off.

"Mom...I´m sorry I had a patie- Meredith." Derek gave his mother a kiss on the cheek and froze when he saw his fiancé.

"Derek? This is your mother?" Meredith asked embarrassed and blushing.

"Are you Meredith Grey? Oh sorry I didn´t know. I´m Carolyn Shepherd." his mother reached her hand out and Meredith shook it looking at Derek who looked down on the floor.

"Yes I am...I..I´m sorry I..I have to go..a patient." Meredith stuttered uncomfortably.

"Oh sure I understand..I was a navy nurse." she smiled and Meredith went backwards waving goodbye and then leaving the cafeteria.

"Wait...is this Derek´s mother?" Lexie asked watching the whole situation and how Derek sat down next to Carolyn after Meredith left.

"I think so." Alex replied also watching them. Lexie got a message and giggled which cause Alex looking at her.

"What´s so funny?" he asked snoopy.

"Oh that´s just Jackson. He asked me if we´ll meet at Joe´s tonight." Lexie replied looking at her phone.

"The Mercy West guy? Where´s your loyalty?" Alex wanted to know looking disgusted.

"He will be one of us on Friday...and by the way...I am much more loyal than you are." Lexie answered trying to looked sassy while drinking from her juice box but Alex scoffed and looked back to Derek and his mom.

"Where did you leave Amelia?" Carolyn asked.

"She´s mad at me because I took her patient away." Derek replied drinking his coffee.

"Derek.." his mother sighed.

"What? You know that she would have cracked under the pressure. She always did. You raised five neuro surgeons...and four of them would tell you that this is not possible." Derek explained to his mother.

"She changed Derek...Amelia is not the same girl she was." his mother tried to convince him but he shook his head.

"They never change. Drug addicts will always stay drug addicts...And if she was clean for twenty years now she will always stay a drug addict." Derek stood up and left his mother after saying this. She sat there all by herself when Mark came across.

"Mrs. Shepherd...What are you doing here all alone?" he asked when he came to her.

"My kids are fighting again.." she sighed smiling. "And you? How´s it going with you?" Mark really appreciated her appearance. It felt like home to him.

"Well,.." Mark sighed and sat down and Carolyn looked at him worried. "I basically messed up everything that was beautiful in my life."

"Why?" she wanted to know and Mark looked down.

"I had a girlfriend...A wonderful, beautiful girlfriend and then...well, then I got my best friend pregnant." he explained.

"Oh Mark." she sighed again and he looked up at her.

"It´s okay. I´m moving on...sort of." he watched Lexie from the corner of his eye and Derek´s mother followed his gaze.

"Who is it?" she asked knowing that he´s looking at his ex girlfriend.

"The one with the juice box." he said and scoffed after noticing how ridiculous it sounded.

"She´s pretty." Carolyn straightly looked at Lexie who noticed it and quickly turned her head away

"The prettiest." Mark looked down on the table and smiled.

* * *

"Owen...hey." Teddy came to her best friend. "What´s up? You don´t look good." she noticed.

"I..They want me back." he told her.

"Who?" she asked confused.

"The army. I got a letter today. They want me back to Iraq." he explained with a shaky voice.

"But um...but you have a life here...you have your job and..and Cristina and me." Teddy stuttered unbelievable.

"That doesn´t care. I have to go...I have to go back to the war." Owen got mad and his hands turned to fists.

"When?" Teddy asked.

"Saturday."

"Saturday? That´s 4 days!" Teddy almost screamed and Owen nodded. "Does Cristina know?"

"She opened the letter." Owen explained and his friend sighed. "Teddy promise me you´ll take care of Cristina. You need her and she needs you. You come to me and tell me how dumb all of your residents are, but the only reason why you think they´re dumb is because Cristina did everything you asked her to. And she did it right. She made one mistake but don´t punish her for so long...she needs you now more than ever before."

"Okay." Teddy whispered nodding. "Okay." she repeated and hugged him.

"Thank you." Owen replied the hug.

* * *

Mark went down the hallway when Callie joined him.

"Hey you." he smiled at her and she replied it. "How´s it going?"

"Good, good, good..." Callie lied nodding with her head.

"One more time and I believe you." Mark scoffed. "What´s up?" he put his arm around her shoulder and she put her head on his.

"I miss Arizona...I´m devastated...I need her back in my life." Callie explained.

"I feel the same way." Mark replied and both smiled. "But Arizona wants you back too...maybe you just go talk to her."

"After she left me? No!" Callie answered quickly.

"Come one...at least you get the chance to be with her...I won´t ever get that again." he told her sadly.

"Yeah I´m sorry for that." Callie replied sarcastically.

"Don´t be..it was also my fault..but please for god´s sake talk to her." he begged his best friend.

* * *

Derek went to Izzie´s room to check on her when he saw Alex sitting by her side and laughing.

"Izzie, doctor Karev. I see you´re feeling better." he noticed.

"Much better." Izzie smiled to Derek and then back to her boyfriend.

"That´s good. Very good." Derek checked her pupil with a little flashlight and went back smiling when everything was fine.

"When can we continue the interleukin 2 treatment?" she asked impatiently.

"Iz.." Alex sighed.

"Izzie you just had a brain surgery. You as a doctor really think that you should put toxic chemicals into your veins?" Derek meant closing her chart.

"Well, I want to be healthy asap." Izzie´s smile was gone and she played with her fingers nervously.

"But taking it too fast can make it even worse." Alex whispered comforting.

"I know." Izzie sobbed. "I just want to be able to hold Denny in my arms. The last time I saw him I collapsed."

"I know...but he´s doing well. Doctor Fields said I can take him home tomorrow." Alex gave her a comforting smile but Izzie started crying heavily.

"Izzie?" Alex asked overstrained seeing her like this. Her BP got higher and Derek was worried about her health.

"Izzie. Please calm down. This is not good for you recovery." Derek came closer and hold her hand.

"Denny´s gonna grow up without me. He won´t know I´m his mother. He will think Meredith or Lexie are." she cried and Alex handed her out a tissue.

"I´m sure he won´t. When you follow the plan of your recovery you will be out here in a few weeks." Derek assured her.

"But I will miss the first few weeks when he´s home."she looked to her doctor wiping away some tears.

"He won´t remember." Derek smiled at her comforting and she replied it weakly.

"If you excuse me now I have to check on another patient." Derek excused himself and let Izzie and Alex alone.

* * *

Lexie was walking down the hallways reading a medical journal when suddenly somebody pulled her into a scan room.

"Uhh..hel- doctor Shepherd?" she wanted to shout for help when she noticed Amelia in front of her.

"We´re gonna operate." she announced excited.

"What...Derek allowed it?" Lexie asked confused.

"Not really. But he´s not my boss and I´m sure I can do this." Amelia told her confident.

"Well, technically he is-" Lexie thought but Amelia cut her off."

"You want to operate this tumor? You want to be a neuro – goddess? You want to be a superhero?" Amelia asked and Lexie thought about the consequences but also the knowledge she would have afterwards.

* * *

"Hey doctor Grey! Have you checked on Henry recently?" Teddy asked Meredith when she walked by.

"Due all respect doctor Altman..he is your husband and you are a doctor..you can read his vitals." Meredith asked annoyed because of her chat with Derek´s mother and Cristina´s behavior.

"Excuse me?" Teddy asked shocked.

"I´m..I´m sorry it was a rough day for me...but can´t you just realize that he´s so madly in love with you? Can´t you just realize that you need Cristina on your service to be happy again? And can´t you just let me do my work?" Meredith begged her and left again.

"Madly in love with...me? No he would have..oh god..." Teddy thought loud and opened her eyes wide as she noticed it´s true. She ran to Henry´s room and almost bumped into him as he wanted to leave the room.

"Henry.." she said quietly.

"Teddy? I thought you wouldn´t come to say goodbye." he smiled at her.

"Goodbye?" Teddy asked confused.

"I´m going. I´m allowed to leave?" Henry reminded her and Teddy nodded.

"Right...you know...I didn´t know you..were..." Teddy stuttered.

"I was what?" Henry wanted to know.

"Come on...you know what I mean..." she tried to not speak it out loud but Henry raised one eyebrow full of confusion. "That you...love me?" she explained by whispering the last two words.

"Oh..um..Meredith told you right?" Henry asked and Teddy nodded pressing her lips together. "Yeah that was a joke...I joked around with us being married because you love me so much..I didn´t mean that I was in love with you.." Henry lied and faked a smile.

"Oh...well, then...great we cleared this...text me when your home...goodbye." she smiled and hugged him.

"Bye." Henry replied biting on his lip sadly.

* * *

"Calliope...hi." Arizona came to Callie who stood at the nurse´s desk. "I wanted to talk to you...about the things between us."

"Me too." Callie admitted and Arizona sighed relieved.

"Great...how about tonight at Joe´s?" she asked hopeful.

"I´m pregnant." Callie reminded her.

"He also has nonalcoholic drinks." Arizona tried to convince her.

"Okay...I´ll meet you around eight." Callie smiled and Arizona looked at her wrist watch.

"Uhh..my shift ends in two hours." she cursed and Callie also looked at her watch.

"Um...then nine? Is this better?" Callie suggested and Arizona smiled.

"Much better. Thank you." Arizona was very grateful for Callie understanding.

* * *

"Cristina..." Owen whispered when they were lying in a bed in an on-call room cuddling.

"Hm?" she replied staring at the wall.

"I´m sorry." he told her but she shook her head slowly.

"It´s not your fault." she explained and Owen came closer and tightened his grip.

"I feel like it is." his voice started shaking. Cristina turned around and placed her hand on his cheek.

"Shh..it´s not..." she kissed him softly and a tears started rolling down their faces. "Come with me." she meant and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Owen wondered.

"Don´t ask...just follow." she took his hand and went with him to the staircase and they went down the stairs till they arrived in the cellar.

"What are we doing here?" Owen asked annoyed when Cristina stopped in front of a door.

"Remember when you first came here and I was crying on the hallway? You brought me down here and showed me this room." Cristina pointed on the door.

"The boiler room." Owen remembered and Cristina nodded opening the door.

"If you want to cry, don´t cry in some beds in on-call rooms...come with me." she pulled him into the room and placed him on the grid over the ventilation.

"I love you Cristina.." Owen smiled and Cristina replied the smile.

"Wait for it." she ordered smiling and a few seconds later the warm air stream came and ran through their clothes and hairs. Cristina giggled happily when Owen started kissing her passionately.

* * *

Derek went to check on the patient he took from his sister but when he entered her room she wasn´t there.

"Excuse me...where´s the patient?" he asked the nurse Taylor but he shrugged.

"I´m sorry my shift started ten minutes ago." he answered and went away. Derek tried to page Lexie but got no response. He went to the o.r. board to check if Lexie was in surgery with another doctor. When he found her he couldn´t believe with whom she was operating. Derek ran to o.r. three to find Amelia and Lexie standing in front of the opened head of his patient.

"Lexie? What are you doing here?" he asked madly and Lexie looked up.

"Don´t respond to him." Amelia ordered and continue her work without looking up.

"Amelia! You put away the scalpel immediately." Derek yelled and the staff looked at him and then to Amelia who ignored him and continued her work.

"Suction please." she asked but the nurse hesitated. "Suction please!" Amelia repeated loudly. "Or do you want to kill the patient?" The nurse looked down and gave her the instrument she asked for.

"Doctor Grey...what can you see here?" she asked and pointed on a part of the brain.

"Amelia..don´t make me go to the chief!" Derek threatened her.

"Bokhee can you please bring doctor Shepherd out of my o.r.? His existence disturbs my work." Amelia asked the nurse who nodded and lead Derek to the door.

"We are not finished yet!" he meant before storming out.

"Well, doctor Grey...would you like to take out the tumor?" Amelia asked her smiling under her mask.

"Me? Really I..i´m just an intern..I-" Lexie stuttered overwhelmed.

"Calm down..I already cut it out..all you have to do is take this masterpiece of tumor out and put it into the bowl over there." she explained and made some space for Lexie.

"Thank you." she replied the smile and took the tumor out calmly and carefully.

"See? You can do it perfectly." Amelia meant after Lexie put the tumor into the bowl.

 _We are anxious, angry, and fall in love._

 _We are just like you._

 _We have our past. We have our problems, our things to cope with._

"That was inappropriate!" Derek yelled at Amelia when she came out of the o.r. wing.

"What? Saving her life?" she asked sarcastically.

"Doing something so dangerous! Risking a patient´s life!" he explained still yelling.

"I saved her life...this intern saved her life...I´m not gonna let you yell at me!" Amelia replied harshly going away.

"You will never get my job, Amelia. After this Webber will never replace me with you." Derek yelled after her till she finally stopped and turned around.

"You think all of this was to get your job? You think I want to steal my brother´s job? I have a wonderful job in California, I don´t need yours. I came here to show you that I changed. That I´m a better surgeon now." Amelia explained coming closer again.

"You didn´t change at all." Derek told her disgusted.

"I didn´t change? Okay I didn´t change." she scoffed. "Look at me!" she pointed on herself. "Look at your little sister." she hold out her ID. "You know this is something every drug addict wishes for. With this ID you can go to every storage room of this hospital and take all the drugs you want. And what am I doing? I´m standing here getting yelled at by my brother but still not taking any of the meds I could get with this." she put it back on her coat and wiped away a tear. "So tell me one more time I didn´t change...go on...tell me everything you always wanted to say...because I know that it isn´t true...I graduated from med-school I made a hell out of a surgeon and I´m clean for one year...I reached everything I wanted to reach...I am..a superhero!" Amelia explained, her voice shaking and Derek biting on his lip nervously.

 _But to be a superhero we have to leave it home._

 _We have to put on our suit, our pokerface,_

 _and not let anything come in our way._

"Hey...I was afraid you wouldn´t come." Callie smiled when Arizona walked through the doors of Joe´s and sat down next to Callie.

"Yeah sorry a kid with appendicitis came in." she sighed and looked at Callie´s water with a lemon in it.

"Okay...So what would you like to have to drink?" she asked.

"The same thing you have." Arizona smiled awkwardly. Generally the mood between them was awkward.

"Calliope, listen, I really want you back...I really love you...and I don´t care if you´re pregnant I just want to be with you." Arizona explained.

"I also want to be with you...and I love you too but-" Callie replied but stopped when she saw Lexie and Jackson walking in. "Oh god.."

"What? What´s wrong?" Arizona looked around.

"The guy Lexie´s with...he´s from the Mercy West and Harper Avery´s grandson. Mark´s gonna freak out if he finds out their dating." Callie explained fishing out her phone from her pocket.

"Calliope..can we please not talk about Mark tonight?" Arizona begged and Callie looked up from her phone.

"Mark´s my best friend..." Callie said with an asking undertone.

"I know..but..he´s not mine..and I don´t want him to.." Arizona stuttered.

"To be in your life?" Callie asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well,.." Arizona wanted to lie but she knew it wouldn´t make sense.

"If you want me back in your life and this baby in your life you have to live with Mark because he´s the father." Callie stood up and grabbed her bag.

"Where are you going? Calliope?" Arizona watched her.

"This doesn´t make sense. I thought we could work things out but it doesn´t make sense with you being against Mark." she meant and left her.

 _So to be honest I hate being a superhero._

 _Don´t get me wrong I love being a doctor._

 _So I´m happy we aren´t superheroes._

 _I´m happy we are normal people._

"Everything´s alright?" Jackson asked Lexie when they sat down at the bar.

"Yeah that´s just...that woman was the reason I broke up with Mark.." she explained.

"Oh I´m sorry for that." Jackson smiled comforting.

"Anyway..let´s drink on my successful surgery today." she changed the topic quickly and handed him a beer.

"Yeah you didn´t tell me yet. How was it?" he took the beer and asked interested.

"I operated with Derek Shepherd´s sister and there was so much drama going on but this tumor was worth it." Lexie explained excited.

"You look like it was." Jackson kind of complimented her.

 _To have the problems others have._

 _To have the family affairs others have._

 _But to also feel the love and pain the others have._

 _But what should I tell you...my life isn´t normal._

 _My life is anything but ordinary._

Meredith sat on a bench in front of the hospital when Derek came to her.

"Hey." he greeted her.

"Hey." she replied and looked to him. "I embarrassed myself in front of your mother."

"I just yelled at my sister." Derek sat down next to her.

"You also have a sister?"Meredith asked shocked but smiling.

"I have four of them." he giggled.

"I mean I didn´t know I have two sisters 2 years ago." Meredith replied the giggle.

"Who knows...maybe there gonna show up some more sisters you don´t know about." Derek laughed and so did Meredith.

"No these two are enough for me...I mean I don´t have contact with Molly but I don´t want to miss Lexie in my life again." she explained.

"If I was brain dead I would like to have all of them by my side...and of course you." Derek stopped laughing and Meredith looked down at her hands.

"I want you back home." Meredith whispered and looked into Derek´s eyes.

"I want to be back home too." Derek admitted.

 _My life is hard._

 _But..._

 _Isn´t every superheroes life hard?_


	27. winning a battle, losing a war

**Look who updated within a week. I think I need some applause. And I wrote this chapter on one single day so I need a second round of applause.**

 **I have to admit I´m very prooud of this chapter. I think it´s one of the best I´ve ever written because it shows all the feelings that the characters would have felt in the situation. Also it´s a huge load of Crowen, Merder and Slexie feels so I hope you guys enjoy it.  
**

 **So we have a new character coming up and another one leaving us. I kind of feel sad for our loss but don´t be afraid the character will still be part of the fanfic.**

 **Oh and I just wanted to say thank you so much for 8.5k reads, it means the world to me 3**

 **Love ya**

 **Winning a battle, losing a war**

 _War._

 _We are afraid of it._

 _We are scared that it will happen to us._

 _We are scared to lose our family in the war._

"When do you have to go?" Cristina asked quietly while Owen packed his stuff. It´s been three days since they got the letter.

"I have to be at the airport at six pm. I check my patients in the hospital, we go for lunch together and then you drive me to the airport." Owen explained straightening his uniform.

"You know...I´m not good at goodbyes...and I´m also not good at letting my feelings out...maybe you can drive to the airport with a cab." Cristina mentioned to him and Owen looked up.

"You don´t want to say goodbye?" he asked shocked.

"I do...but not by saying it...I don´t want it to happen...I love you Owen and I´m happy when you are but...I want to spend a wonderful day together and saying goodbye would...it would ruin it." she explained her theory and Owen came closer to her grabbing her by her arms.

"I love you Cristina. And no matter what happens I always will." he promised before kissing her.

 _What does war mean?_

 _In the dictionaries they say war is a state of armed hostility._

 _But what does war mean to you?_

"Here you go." Lucy said and put Denny into Alex´ arms. "And there´s the bag with all his stuff, his favorite toy, diapers, pacifier, and..some other stuff you might need." she hung the bag over his shoulder.

"Okay..um..I don´t have a car seat for him." Alex admitted a bit overstrained.

"You don´t have a car seat? I´m not judging but haven´t you thought about buying one when you found out Izzie´s pregnant?" Lucy asked quite shocked.

"I found out only days before she gave birth and so did she...We didn´t know if he would survive the past two months." Alex explained and Lucy nodded.

"Right...I´ll see what I can do. A lot of couples come her pregnant and leave without their baby because it died...they often donate the stuff to us...maybe there is a car seat for you." Lucy smiled and left Alex in the room with Denny in his arms.

"We´re going home little boy...I don´t know a lot about having children but we´re gonna do this...we´re gonna make this work...for your mother right? For Izzie." he whispered to his son.

"You´re lucky..there was one..it´s pink but it will work." Lucy hold up a car seat for Denny and Alex sighed relieved.

"I don´t care...all I care about is that he´s safe." he said and Lucy helped him putting Denny into the car seat.

 _For me, war is when you fight for what you love._

 _When you want to protect something._

 _Your home, your family, your life._

"Who are all those people?" Izzie asked Meredith who sat next to her watching the crowd of doctors in orange scrubs walking by.

"These are the Mercy West guys." she told her looking disgusted.

"They look like prisoners." Izzie noticed and Meredith nodded.

"There were too less blue scrubs so they have to wear their´s." she explained.

"I don´t like them and they haven´t even talked to me yet." Izzie watched the confused doctors and nurses running down the hallway.

"Lexie meant to give them a chance but...I won´t..only because she´s dating one-"

"Wait...Lexie´s dating a Mercy West guy?" Izzie asked jokingly.

"Yeah...They went out every night the past week..She´s finally over Mark I think." Meredith looked to Izzie who replied it.

"Is he nice? These Mercy West guys can´t be nice." Izzie looked back to the crowded hallway.

"I haven´t met him yet. She´s taking it slower now." Meredith explained and also continued watching the things going on outside.

 _But is it really necessary to fight for what you love?_

 _To fight for what belongs to you?_

 _Don´t you think it´s stupid to fight over that?_

 _So why do we start a war?_

 _Right,...because we´re humans..._

 _and we always want the things which belong to others._

"Hello." Jackson whispered to Lexie from behind her.

"Jackson. Hi. Are you guys already here?" she asked happily and closed the chart.

"Yes. From now on you have to deal with me every day." he replied smiling, losing himself in her eyes when suddenly a red headed woman behind him cleared her throat "Right yeah,...that´s April...she´s my best friend." he introduced her.

"Hello I´m April Kepner. And you are Jackson´s new girlfriend?" April´s high pitched voice asked and Lexie looked at her and then to Jackson.

"Um...well, I´m...um" she stuttered and switched gaze between both of them and so did April still smiling awkwardly.

"We um...we didn´t...um.." Jackson also started stuttering and rubbing his hairless head and sighed relieved when Lexie got a page.

"Oh sorry a patient. I have to go. It was nice to meet you. I´ll see you later right?" she explained and gave Jackson a kiss on the cheek before walking away.

"Yeah. I guess so." he called after her smiling

"I guess so?" April asked sarcastically when Lexie was out of sight.

"What should I answer? I love you? We´re not even a couple." Jackson defended himself.

"Man you two have been dating for a week every day. Shouldn´t you consider a relationship?" April wanted to know annoyed.

"I..I don´t even know if she wants one. She had some real struggles with her ex." Jackson explained her but April shook her head.

"You already talked about your exes? What else your tragic pasts?" she made fun of him.

"April please just let it be...you´re annoying." Jackson begged and went away.

"And you´re whiny. That´s why we´re friends." April called after him and he turned around smiling.

"I guess so." he replied giggling and caused April to giggle too.

* * *

Derek went down the hallway looking confused when the unknown doctors were searching for rooms and made it hard to pass.

"Doctor Shepherd...here...right there." the small Bailey waved with her hand so Derek could see her.

"Doctor Bailey...Why do these doctors have orange scrubs?" he asked when they finally reached each other.

"There weren´t enough blue but anyways,...have you heard about your job today?" she asked annoyed.

"No, but I´m sure you´re gonna tell me now." he replied still looking around confused.

"The chief wants you, Torres, Sloan and me to greet the new doctors and explain everything to them." she said unhappy about the situation.

"What? Bailey I have patients."

"Me too. But we have to do it...it´s not longer than an hour, where we explain our philosophy and how it works here and bla bla bla." she replied and Derek sighed annoyed.

"Fine. I´ll do it. When?"

"Twenty minutes."

"This day already sucks."

* * *

"My name is doctor Derek Shepherd and I´m head of neuro surgery." Derek and the other three surgeons stood on the stage in the auditorium, where the whole staff of the Mercy West was sitting and listening.

"Doctor Shepherd is hot." April admitted whispering.

"No he isn´t." Jackson, who was sitting next to her, replied also whispering but annoyed.

"I heard they call him McDreamy here." a woman with short reddish hair explained to April.

"I´m doctor Mark Sloan, head of plastics." Mark smirked.

"He´s hot too...we never had hot attendings." April noticed.

"He´s McSteamy...at least I heard some nurses saying this today...and that he´s single." the woman again explained singing the last part.

"Reid.." April giggled slightly and hit her friend softly.

"Hello, guys I´m doctor Miranda Bailey and I´m head of general surgery." Bailey introduced herself looking like a real authority.

"And my name´s doctor Callie Torres, head of ortho, and I want this to end just as much as you do." Callie said annoyed and Bailey pushed her hips softly as a whispering ran through the crowd. "Sorry pregnancy hormones." Callie whispered to her.

"The four of us came here because we want to introduce our hospital to you. From today on it will also be yours."Derek continued.

"The patient is the king. All he wants, he gets." Mark explained.

"You should all know that you are all on probation. So are we. We have to show our chief that we are worth to keep." Miranda reminded them.

"As in every other hospital, sexual affairs with a patient or hospital staff are not allowed" Mark read from a list. "Good that nobody follows these rules." he scoffed quietly but some of the audience heard it and giggled. "Yeah?" he said when somebody raised his hand.

"Didn´t a doctor of yours kill a patient because she loved him?" a man in the row of April and Jackson asked.

"I´m sorry I wouldn´t remember." Mark shook his head.

"I think she was called Lizzy, Missi..." the man tried to remind him.

"Izzie Stevens." Reid whispered to him.

"Izzie right." he said loudly.

"Who are you?" Bailey asked him getting mad.

"Charles Percy." he replied.

"Fine...Firstly she didn´t kill him, he had a stroke, and secondly...mind your own business." she told him and he shut up.

"We always advise our patient to the best way. If they have an inoperable tumor we are not going to push them so we can scrub in. We do the best for our patients." Callie read from the list monotonic.

"Haven´t you, doctor Shepherd, removed an inoperable tumor successfully, by risking a patient´s life. I read an article." Reid asked raising her hand.

"Who are you?" Derek took the microphone from Callie and asked her.

"Reid Adams." she smiled towards McDreamy.

"Nice...It wasn´t me..I wouldn´t risk a patient´s life to prove something. It was my sister. And she´s not working here." he explained faking a smile his voice being sarcastically.

"But she saved he-" Reid wanted to reply but Derek cut her off.

"Next!" he shouted.

* * *

"These guys hate us." April recognized when the whole thing was done and the four residents left the auditorium.

"Wouldn´t you hate us too? We are taking away their jobs." Charles said walking next to Reid.

"They don´t hate us..they just need to get to know us better." Jackson meant positively.

"They hate us...so I don´t have to lose anything and gonna take over some case after taking ther jobs." Reid laughed and so did Charles. Only Jackson and April noticed how much in love he was with her.

"I think it´s not a good idea." April stated but her friend scoffed.

"April...if you gonna think like this forever you will stay an ugly duckling." Reid made fun of her.

"Hey,...we don´t need to make fun of each other okay?" Jackson defended his friend.

"I´m not an ugly duckling." April murmured.

"You three can do what you want. I go and get some cases." Reid smiled and left the group.

* * *

"Um,...Bailey...could you please help me?" Alex asked overstrained running through the hallways with Denny in his arm crying.

"Alex..what are you doing?" she asked a bit confused about what she saw.

"I don´t know...he does not stop..I don´t know what I can do." he explained to her and held his baby towards her.

"You..- uh" Bailey sighed and took Denny and he immediately stopped crying.

"Thank god...I already had headache." Alex sighed relieved and sat down while Bailey´s fingers played with his son´s nose.

"Wait..I´m not gonna be the babysitter for you. I have patients." she said when she saw Alex sitting there and getting some rest.

"Doctor Bailey please...I need to buy some things for him...a bed for example. But I can´t concentrate with him crying the whole time." Alex tried to make her take the baby. "Just for a few hours. Then I´ll be right back and take him home."

"Okay." Bailey agreed and Alex sighed relieved.

"Thank you so much. Here´s everything you need." he meant and gave her the bag. Then he drove to a furniture shop to get a bed.

* * *

"Doctor Webber? I wanted to say goodbye." Owen knocked at Richard´s door and smiled with his lips pressed together.

"You´re already going?" Richard took his glasses off and stood up from his desk to walk around it and coming closer to Owen.

"Yeah. I checked on my patients and now Cristina and I´ll go for lunch somewhere before I drive to

the airport." he explained.

"Well, then...good luck...and I hope we´ll see us again in some time." he shook Owen´s hand quite long.

"I hope too." Owen smiled. "Goodbye, doctor Webber." he said and Webber nodded before Owen left the office, walking down the office.

* * *

"Have you checked your blood sugar?... I know but I better ask too often than too less...okay...oh wait a sec...Owen!" Teddy was on the phone talking to Henry when she saw Owen walking by. He stopped at the sound of her voice.

"Are you already going?" she asked after running to him her phone pressed on her chest.

"Yeah...I..I have to go Cristina´s waiting in the car..I-"

"Right...yeah well, good luck there...and greet everybody from me...especially your sister and Nathan." Teddy smiled before hugging him. "Oh and tell Cristina I want her back...she suffered long enough and she´ll need cardio after you´re gone."

"I will do both." he smiled and pulled away. "Bye Teddy."

"Bye Owen." she smiled watching him leaving completely forgetting about Henry on the phone.

"Hello?" she suddenly heard his voice through the microphone.

"Oh yeah sorry...so you checked your blood sugar?" she put the phone back to her ear and continued her walk down the hallway.

* * *

"Um...Hello?" April asked from behind Arizona who turned around a bit confused.

"Um..yeah?" she replied arching an eyebrow.

"Are you doctor Robbins? Arizona Robbins?" she asked shyly and the attending nodded. "Can I help you today? I mean if you don´t have anybody yet?"

"Um...I have Lexie Grey on my service but sure I could use a resident." Arizona smiled.

"Really? Oh thank you. I asked so many surgeons and everybody just ignored me...thank you so much." April smiled grateful.

"Wow okay, first of all you need to lower your voice...it´s too high...but besides tat I think we will have great fun together." Arizona smirked and April closed her mouth smiling like that. "Come with me. Lexie should already be waiting for us."

"Doctor Grey...doctor Kepner´s working with us today." Arizona mentioned to Lexie when the arrived in the peds wing.

"Great." Lexie pretended to be happy.

"Okay. Doctor Grey...present the case." Arizona ordered when they stood in the patient´s room.

"Um...Jack Sullivan, 5 years old. Was brought in with stomach ache. Tests showed that he has an appendicitis. Treatment is an operation and the removal of the appendix." Lexie explained.

"Well done, little Grey." Arizona smiled and Lexie nodded.

"Doctor Robbins can this be dangerous?" the worried mother asked and Arizona want to reply but April cut her off with her smiling high pitched voice.

"No...only 10 % die during this procedure." she tried to calm the mother down but instead made her even more worried and Lexie and Arizona looked at her shocked and unable to believe what they just heard.

"Doctor Kepner what was that?" Arizona asked whispering harshly when they exited the room.

"I..I don´t know..I.." she stuttered.

"That´s rule one you learn in med school...never freak the patient out." Arizona explained to her still in shock.

"I...I´m sorry I know...I mean I learned that...I just...kind of forgot...I´m very nervous." April still stuttered and Lexie scoffed which made April even more anxious.

"Doctor Grey prepare the patient, you´re gonna scrub in. Kepner...I want you to scrub in too but I won´t let you operate...you´re gonna be there and learn, okay?" Arizona asked and April nodded. "Now go and help Grey." she ordered and both went inside the room again to prep him.

"You know Jackson has a big crush on you." April told Lexie to make a bond but she didn´t really react beside nodding. "He hasn´t had a girlfriend in a very long time. He does not just trust anybody."

"We don´t have to do this." Lexie stopped April.

"Do what?" she asked perplexed.

"That you play the wingman for Jackson. I don´t need you to tell me how great he is because I already know. And you should be aware of the way a relationship normally goes, shouldn´t you?" Lexie asked and April nodded quickly.

"Yeah sure..of course.." she lied and Lexie scoffed.

"So you know that normally you take it slow...and Jackson and I are dating for one week...I don´t want to rush into something I´m not 100 % sure about." Lexie explained and April nodded.

"Right...no rush..I understand." April nodded and Lexie leaned over to her and lowered her voice.

"You know I was a virgin until my last boyfriend. I only had one sex partner in my whole life and I´m 24. And all he did was hurt me. Mentally of course. So I want to make sure Jackson won´t hurt me this time." she whispered laughing and April blushed.

"Right. You were a virgin for so long...that´s..insane." she stuttered turning her head away to hide her red cheeks. "But I can assure you Jackson won´t ever hurt you. He´s not that type of guy."

"Thank you." Lexie smiled but was confused about April´s sudden behavior.

* * *

The day was going by rather soon and Derek and Meredith found themselves wrapped in each other´s arms in a bed in an on-call room.

"Promise you´ll never join the army." Meredith whispered half asleep.

"Huh?" Derek wondered why she came up with that.

"Just promise that you´ll never leave me." Meredith repeated.

"I promise you everything you want to." Derek kissed her neck.

"Even that you´ll love me when I get Alzheimer like my mother?" Meredith asked again and Derek sat up.

"Why are you saying all these things?" he wanted to know worried.

"Because I love you. And I want to marry you and have a future with you. I don´t want to ever lose you." Meredith turned around to face him.

"You know what give me something to write." he ordered smiling and Meredith arched her eyebrows.

"What? Why?" she asked giggling when Derek leaned over her to get a pen.

"Life´s too short to wait for special moments." he grinned. "Do you have a piece of paper with you?"

"I...I.." Meredith began searching for something in her lab coat. "I have blue post it notes." she hold them up and Derek took them.

"What do we want to promise each other?" he asked and Meredith looked at him still smiling full of confusion. "I´m gonna marry you now, so what do you want us to promise each other?" Meredith started laughing when he finished the sentence but started thinking when she noticed he wasn´t joking.

"That you love me, even when you hate me." she sat up smiling and Derek started writing.

"That we love each other, even if we hate each other." he repeated her. "No running. Ever." he added. "Nobody walks out, no matter what happens."

"No running." she watched him writing. And started thinking after he told her to continue.

"That we will take care of each other, even when we are old and smelly and senile." she paused and they looked each other deep in the eyes. "And if I get Alzheimer-"

"I will remind you who I am,...every day." Derek cut her off and both smiled full with love while he noted the vows and made two lines to sign it and handed the post its out to Meredith after he did it.

"Now what?" she asked after both signed.

"Now I kiss the bride." Derek leaned in and kissed her passionately.

 _It would be so much easier if people could share their feelings with each other._

 _We wouldn´t need to fight._

 _We could just let people in and be friends with them._

 _We need to accept the feelings we have._

After the surgery with Robbins Lexie went to find Jackson who was in the resident´s locker room.

"Hey." she smiled and Jackson turned around shirtless which made Lexie open her mouth a bit when her eyes went down his muscular body. "I...I wanted to pick you up." she stuttered and shook her head to concentrate on her thoughts.

"Do we have a date I don´t know about?" he smirked and Lexie came closer.

"No..I wanted to pick you up to come home with me tonight." she eventually stopped in front of him and looked him in the light blue eyes as he opened them widely and arched his eyebrows. "I may not be ready to take the next step but...I want you in my life...and that starts in my sister´s house." she smiled softly and so did he. They lost themselves in each other´s eyes before Jackson leaned in to kiss her. It was the first kiss they shared and for both it felt good. It was Lexie´s first kiss after Mark, and she liked Jackson a lot, she really did. But somehow she had the feeling something was missing. But she banished these thoughts into a corner of her brain and wrapped her arms around his neck.

 _We have to stop fighting for something that doesn´t belong to us._

 _We have to admit that it will never belong to us._

 _We have to stop making people feel bad, by trying so hard._

 _We need to learn, how to let go._

Mark was looking at his pager cursing about his stupid interns. He missed Lexie on his service. She knew what he needed and how he wanted it. He could clearly hear her voice in his head when she said she wants him in her life. It took him a while until he noticed that it wasn´t just her voice in his head but her talking to someone. To someone that wasn´t him. Mark stopped at the door to the locker room Lexie was standing with Harper Avery´s grandson, kissing pulling each other´s body closer. He swallowed down his sadness and anger watching the scene.

"Let go. Let go. Let go." he repeated in his head and ordered his feet to continue walking but they wouldn´t. Callie stood on the opposite of the room and recognized the three of them.

"Mark." she whispered slightly and felt the pain of her best friend. Mark sighed when he looked at Callie and then back to Lexie and Jackson, before closing his eyes and going away. He decided to let go.

 _The war is something we are scared of._

 _We don´t want to let go._

 _We don´t want to be left alone._

 _Sometimes we want to freeze the moment forever._

"Here we are." Owen said when he stood in front of the cab he ordered, his bags already in the cargo bay, Cristina standing in front of him with her hands crossed over her chest. "You really don´t want to come to the airport?" Owen asked again but she shook her head.

"No..no...I´m sorry...I..this day was perfect..it was great but...I´m just not ready to say goodbye." Cristina stuttered.

"Then don´t. Kiss me instead of saying it." Owen suggested and came closer to her.

"I love you Owen." she said and instead of replying he kissed her. He kissed her even more passionate than ever before. All the feelings that he held back the last few days came out in this kiss. And all her doubts were blown away by that kiss. She knew he will come back. She knew she will see him again. She couldn´t say why she did but she knew it. After a few seconds which felt like an eternity, Owen broke the kiss and sat down into the car. He looked outside of the back window and waved Cristina goodbye, and so did she. She watched him driving away and stood there in the cold winter air also as the cab was long gone.

But we can´t. We can´t fight this alone.

We have to accept help.

We have to count on our team.

We are all soldiers, even if we aren´t.

We all have a battle to win.

But we are all afraid of losing the war.

Lexie and Jackson entered Meredith´s hous holding each other´s hands while walking upstairs whe they heard somebody cursing and stopped in front of Alex´ open door.

"Why´s Denny still in the car seat?" Lexie asked when she and Jackson went by Alex´ room.

"I haven´t set up his bed yet." Alex meant yawning and mad sitting on the floor in front of some pieces of wood.

"Well, you should start...he can´t be in there for the night, can he?" Lexie asked giggling

"I´m trying for 5 hours now!" Alex replied loudly and angrily.

"Let me help you." Jackson meant and entered the room.

"I don´t need help from a Mercy West dude." he replied still angry and with tears in his eyes.

"Dude. Let me help you." Jackson sat down next to Alex and put his hand on his shoulder looking him into his eyes deeply.


	28. (Sexual) Healing

**Okay I think you guys will probably hate me for what´s happening in this chapter with Mark but every good story needs drama.  
**

 **Anyway hope you like it though I have to admit it´s a bad chapter but here you have it.**

 **Keep commenting, it helps me writing 3**

 **(Sexual) Healing**

 _Sexuality._

 _It´s hot. Lusty. Steamy._

 _It´s all the good in life._

 _But somehow people feel awkward talking about it._

Jackson was showering when Lexie accidentally entered the bathroom.

"Oh sorry, I...I didn´t want to.." she stuttered blushing ashamed and putting her hand in front of her eyes.

"No Problem. Want to join me?" he smirked at his ashamed little girlfriend.

"No..I..I just wanted my toothbrush." she replied still not looking at him and leaving after taking her toothbrush.

"Then I just fly solo." Jackson thought loud when she was gone and took some soap.

"Hey Meredith can I- Ahh-" Lexie opened Meredith´s door and caught her and Derek having sex.

"Lexie!" Meredith yelled at her sister.

"Sorry. Sorry. Oh my god...I´m so sorry." she meant when she closed the door quickly and pressed her lips together, wishing she could sink to the ground of the ocean.

"Caught them huh?" Alex leaned against his door watching Lexie being ashamed as hell.

"Are they still not over their post it wedding." she asked and Alex shrugged. "It´s been a week."

"And you? Your boyfriend sleeps here for one week and you two still haven´t done it." Alex scoffed and Lexie rolled her eyes.

"You don´t know that. Maybe we´re just quiet." she tried to sound sassy and came closer to him. But Alex just arched an eyebrow jokingly.

"Fine. We didn´t. But it´s better than masturbate while a baby is in the same room." Lexie replied harshly and Alex gasped.

"I...He sleeps well." he defended himself.

"Whatever you old perv." Lexie shrugged and went downstairs to brush her teeth in the kitchen, while Alex remained standing in front of his room and Jackson came out of the bathroom.

"What are you looking at, Avery?" he asked mad about Lexie´s comment and entered his room again, while Jackson stood there, wrapped in only a towel and looking confused by what´s going on.

Lexie was already sitting by the table when Alex and Jackson came down.

"Good morning." Jackson gave her a soft kiss on the cheek while she was drinking coffee.

"You made something to eat?" Alex asked walking to the fridge.

"Do I look like your personal chef?" Lexie asked sarcastically, while Jackson sat down next to her smiling.

"Whatever." he pour some cornflakes into his mouth and drank milk afterwards.

"Alex you´re disgusting, we have bowls too." Meredith came down wrapped in a silky bath robe followed by Derek who had just boxer shorts on. Lexie turned red again and looked into her mug.

"Look who finally left the bed." Alex made fun of Meredith but stopped laughing when he noticed Derek behind her. He was friends with Derek but not close enough for jokes like that.

"Meredith I´m so so sorry I-" Lexie wanted to apologize again but her sister´s hand cut her off.

"It´s okay Lex. We couldn´t continue anyway...Who´s driving with us today?" Meredith changed the topic and Derek sat down next to Jackson. He was still not happy about the fusion and that Lexie was dating him.

"We." Lexie quickly pointed on her and Jackson and Derek rolled his eyes.

"I have an appointment with Robbins for Denny. She´ll make clear if he´s strong enough to visit Izzie." Alex explained with his mouth full and Meredith looked away disgusted.

"Okay then. We´ll drive in 10 minutes." Meredith told Jackson and Lexie and was about to go and change when Derek´s voice stopped her.

"Don´t you want to shower first?" he smirked and Meredith blushed.

"Okay. Twenty minutes." she giggled and she and Derek ran upstairs, while Lexie rolled her eyes and Alex scoffed.

 _In my job it´s something normal._

 _We learned about it in med school, practiced it in our internship._

 _Well, the theory..._

 _And sometimes we practiced it with other people..._

 _you know on interpersonal basis_

Cristina and Teddy left an o.r. and gave each other a high five.

"That was good. Very good. You did a great job with your suture." Teddy complimented Cristina.

"Are you kidding? You were a badass in there." she chuckled high from the surgery.

"Okay now let´s get something to eat. We need to have energy for the next operations which are..." Teddy said while walking and looking at a list of names and surgeries.

"A mitral valve replacement, aortic aneurysm and an ex-vivo suture of a leak." Cristina said before Teddy could even find the patients.

"Somebody did her homework." she smiled and so did Cristina. "I trained a good resident."

"You certainly did." Cristina smiled and they went to the cafeteria for something to eat.

"How´s Owen? Have you talked to him?" Teddy asked when she put an apple on her tray and Cristina´s mood changed.

"We face timed yesterday. It´s hard because of the time zones you know...but he´s doing well...he told me to greet you from Megan and Nathan." Cristina replied and Teddy gave her a comforting smile.

"You two will work it out. And he´s safe over there, I promise." she clapped on her resident´s shoulder.

 _However._

 _You quickly learn in life how to use your sexuality._

 _How to get advantage for it._

 _Often, especially as woman, you get one even if you don´t want to._

 _But when we are honest,_

 _who doesn´t want to have hot, steamy, absolutely perfect.._

 _okay I wander from the subject._

 _But you know what I mean._

"Dear interns and residents. As you may have heard I have a gender reassignment on my plan. As you also may know this is very risky. I´m only gonna let the best interns and residents help me and especially learn something. Who wants to participate?" Mark stood on the stairs and the residents and interns listened to him closely. When he asked the question all hands went up in the air.

"Doctor Sloan? Are you gonna use the new method for the reconstruction of the penis?" Reid made her way through to the first row.

"Who are you?" Mark asked feeling charmed by her.

"Reid Adams." she answered smiling flirty.

"Yeah doctor Adams, I´m gonna use the new method. You know something about it?" he winked at her.

"I may have read some articles about it." she smiled back and April who was standing at the spot they were before rolled her eyes.

"Oh god.." Lexie murmured annoyed by her ex boyfriend and this new resident.

"That´s good. Well, anyways I´m gonna watch you today and ask for opinions of my collegues. Whoever passes it will scrub in. Thank you." Mark finally said and the doctors went to different directions, so he could see Lexie and Jackson in the last row and immediately went to her. "Lex. Hey. I wanted to tell you that of course if you want to you can scrub in. I know how good you are." he smirked not paying attention to Jackson.

"Well, that´s a nice offer, but I think I don´t want this surgery. And the others do so-" Lexie replied but Jackson cut her off.

"What?" he asked shocked.

"Lexie that´s a once in a lifetime opportunity." Mark still ignored Jackson and looked her deep in the eyes. She replied the gaze and swallowed down the same feeling that she had when she kissed Jackson for the first time. That something´s missing.

"It would do good in your resume." Jackson tore both out of their thoughts.

"Who are you?" Mark asked a bit annoyed.

"Jackson Avery." he held his hand out but Mark didn´t shook it which caused Lexie to roll her eyes.

"You´re pretty. Good face for plastics. Have you thought about a fellowship in plastic surgery."Mark noticed and nodded slightly.

"Honestly, I don´t like being reduced to my look." Jackson felt awkward by Sloan´s statement.

"Haha...that´s cute." Mark scoffed and then looked back at Lexie. "Anyway I hope you think about it. I know we make a good team."

"Why would you say no to this?" Jackson asked when Mark was gone.

"Because he´s my ex." Lexie replied still watching Mark leaving.

"Oh Lexie sorry I..I didn´t know I.." Jackson apologized.

"Nevermind...let´s just forget about it." Lexie shook her head and pretended to not care.

* * *

Bailey stood in front of the o.r. board to check the surgeries she got today when she noticed something that she didn´t like.

"Excuse me?" she grabbed a nurse by her arm. "Who´s doctor Warren?" she asked but the nurse shrugged. "Does anybody know who Warren B. is?" she asked loud so the staff around her could hear her.

"That must be me." a tall African-American man stepped forward and smirked at the small attending. "And you can call me Ben instead of B." he joked and Miranda arched her eyebrows the typical way she always does.

"And who are you um...doctor Warren?" she asked avoiding to call him by his first name.

"I am obviously your anesthesiologist." he smirked amazed by the small doctor.

"I..I think...there has to be another one." she turned around to the o.r. board. "No...no..no..there has to be one free.."

"I´m afraid not." Ben suddenly stood directly behind her and whispered to her ear which made her scream for a second.

"You...uh...doctor Warren I...I.." Bailey stuttered angrily and turned her palms into fists.

"Doctor Bailey?" he smirked at her and she couldn´t find any words to answer. "I´ll see you later doctor Bailey." he went away after he winked and left her standing there speechless. Miranda cleared her throat and looked around a bit embarrassed of her being speechless in front of a man. That´s not how Bailey was and also she had that feeling in her body which she didn´t feel in a long long time.

* * *

The residents stood at the nurse´s desk talking about Sloan´s procedure and somehow they came to a more interesting topic – losing their virginity.

"15. School nurse. Banged her in her car." Alex meant and took a bottle of water out of the vending machine.

"Wow. Impressive." Jackson arched his eyebrows full of respect.

"When I was 16 she taught me how to drive the same car." he continued and the group giggled besides April.

"Sophomore in high school, Paul Lachsman,...had absolutely no idea of what he was doing." Meredith told her story and Cristina nodded as if she knew the feeling.

"Junior prom. Sarah Richardson and Annie Karraway...together." Jackson admitted and Alex wheezed. "I knew exactly what I was doing." he smirked and Cristina looked away disgusted.

"I was 19." she meant.

"19?" Alex asked unbelievable.

"Yeah. I was very focused on my studies it was my tutor. He was a full head shorter than I but...man he was smart." she smiled at the memories. Lexie and April both tried to focus on something else than this talk when suddenly Reid, who was listening to the conversation asked Lexie.

"Well, um...I had my first time with um...with my teacher." she stuttered and Meredith and Cristina looked down at their hands kind of embarrassed while Alex scoffed and Jackson looked at her surprised..

"Really? Wouldn´t have thought you were that kind of girl." Reid meant and it kinda sounded like a compliment.

"Yeah um..he..taught me..a lot..um.." Lexie stuttered and Meredith pressed her lips together to not laugh at her embarrassed sister, which Alex couldn´t really hide and chuckled. April wasn´t comfortable with the topic and tried to leave but Jackson´s voice held her back.

"Hey April." he meant and she turned around.

"I´m not talking about this." she replied before he even could ask her. "It was a private memory." she tried to continue her walk but now Alex held her back.

"What happened? The guy died?" he asked and got a mad look from Meredith but the others giggled.

"Or was it just for like three seconds so you don´t know if you can count it?" Cristina asked shrugging and the rest laughed again.

"What no!" April defended her decision not to talk about it, but noticed it wouldn´t make sense to do it so she lied about it. "Uh...it um...it was on the beach, at sunset it was beautiful." she explained.

"Sunset really?" Alex asked sarcastically and April nodded.

"Wait weren´t people there?" Jackson asked confused and Cristina continued the hate with a disgusted face.

"Beach? Sand in all the places you don´t want to get sand in?" she meant arching her eyebrows, and the rest nodding sunk in their thoughts. April´s lip started shaking and she quickly looked around feeling detected at her lie.

"Hah. You´re still a virgin." Alex screamed a bit too loud.

"No I´m not." April defended herself.

"Oh my god you are." Cristina screamed excited and pointed on her while the rest giggled. "Oh my god do it." she hit Alex on his upper arm. "Come on..do it. Defile her." she continued hitting him excited while he put off his lab coat just for fun.

"No I´m not...it..it was on the beach..I." April stuttered nervously.

"Hey. Leave her alone." Lexie stopped them to behave like children. "April the beach sunset sounds very nice I wish I had it as pretty as you." she gave her a comforting smile but April looked down at the floor before going away ashamed.

* * *

"His lungs sound good, vitals are stable...I don´t see any reason why he couldn´t meet his mom." Arizona explained to Alex smiling while putting her stethoscope around her neck.

"Are you sure?" he worried and put his child back into the stoller.

"I am 100 % sure. Go let Izzie have a look at her beautiful boy." she encouraged him. After a long exhaling from his side he nodded and took the stroller to go visiting his fiancé.

"Izzie...hey..how are you.." he asked when he entered her room.

"I´m fi- wait! Is that Denny?" she interrupted her own sentence when she recognized the buggy.

"Yes he is. Robbins cleared everything. He´s strong enough to visit you." Alex told her and Izzie started crying.

"Bring him to me..bring him to me." she begged sobbing and Alex put their son on her arms softly and smiling over her happiness.

"Hey my dear son...hi.." Izzie whispered underneath her breath. "He looks perfect. He got your nose." she smiled with tears in her eyes.

"But your eyes." Alex noticed sitting down next to her and putting his arm on her shoulder.

"I love you Alex."

"I love you too Iz."

* * *

Derek was looking at some scans for the craniotomy he set up for the afternoon when Meredith entered the room quietly and closed the door.

"Finally doctor Kepner...have you got- Meredith." he noticed when he turned around that it wasn´t his resident but his post-it wife.

"The test results?" Meredith asked flirty coming closer. "I do...I think I have something that needs to be cleared...And I think you, doctor Shepherd, are the best person to do this."

"Doctor Grey. Do you really think this is the appropriate place." he replied smirking grabbing her by her waist.

"For an examination? I certainly do." she pulled him closer and sat down on the desk spreading her legs playing with his hair.

"What are your symptoms?" he asked her underneath his breath kissing her neck.

"Um..well, firstly there´s this strange feeling in my abdomen." Meredith started and stroke through his hair while he changed the side of her neck.

"Mhm.." he replied paying full attention on his kisses.

"Then I feel like my breasts hurt a bit." she continued feeling his hands walking up to them.

"Do they." he asked flirty and started playing with her breasts.

"I`m also hungry...very hungry." she meant and Derek came even closer putting off his lab coat.

"You´re hungry huh?" he asked enjoying how flirty Meredith was recently.

"Oh and I´m late." she quickly added.

"No I think you still have ten minutes left." Derek meant almost begging but Meredith pushed him away softly and looked him in the eyes smiling.

"No you don´t get it...I´m...late." she repeated and Derek looked at her confused.

"What do you mean by being late if you´re not-" he wanted to asked but stopped and looked her unbelievable while she nodded smiling. "No...no...You´re pregnant?"

"According to the test I took this morning yes...yes I am." she smiled happily and Derek hugged her excited lifting her up, her legs wrapped around his waist.

"That´s..that´s great...Oh my god that´s awesome. Meredith you know what that means? We´re becoming parents!" Derek looked at her still in the hug and Meredith smiled happily.

"I know." she replied and Derek kissed her passionately.

"Doctor Shepherd I got the- uh wow...okay...I´m sorry." April interrupted them suddenly when she entered the scan room and held the results in front of her face.

"Doctor Kepner...uh..um.." Derek let Meredith down and they straightened their clothes.

"Um...I need to go.." Meredith stuttered.

"Hey wait...we have to celebrate this. Want to have a craniotomy?" Derek asked pointing on the scans behind him.

"But um...I thought I was-" April stuttered quietly and confused.

"Of course." Meredith replied ignoring, or simply not hearing, April.

"Fine. Scrub in after lunch." Derek smiled at her before she left closing the door.

"Does that mean I´m not scrubbing in?" April asked sadly and quietly.

"Oh sorry Kepner, I just need one resident. You can go." he meant taking the lab results and faking a smile which was the sign for her to leave.

* * *

"Doctor Sloan. Hey." Reid came up to Mark who was walking down the hallway eating an apple. "Enjoying the apple?" she asked smilingly and Mark looked at her confused but then tried to be funny.

"Well, you know an apple a day keeps the doctor away." he joked and Reid giggled slightly. "What do you need doctor um..."

"Adams...Reid Adams." she told him and he nodded.

"Right...Adams...How can I help you?" Mark smirked at her.

"Well, I heard you are a really good teacher...and wanted to ask if you could-" Reid started but Mark cut her off.

"Teach you something?" he asked awkwardly thinking about Lexie.

"Only medicine of course. So I can use it for...for the run for the surgery tonight. Maybe if you can show me something about the female anatomy I don´t know yet?" she asked flirty walking slower than before.

"Doctor Adams." Mark smirked recognizing what this was about.

"Doctor Sloan." she replied and they stopped in front of a door to the on-call room. Mark looked around if there was any staff around before opening the door.

"After you doctor Adams." he meant and Reid smiled stepping in.

"Thank you doctor Sloan." she answered and after he looked around another time he went in locking the door.

* * *

Jackson and Lexie were having lunch when Alex and Cristina joined them, which caused Lexie to roll her eyes.

"What you don´t like me?" he asked her and she turned around from Jackson to look at him straightly.

"Oh how much I appreciate your appearance." she lied faking a smile which caused Alex to roll his eyes. "Where did you leave your child?"

"He´s with Izzie. I told her I´d get some lunch and be back then." Alex meant taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Where´s Meredith? Like seriously. She´s M.I.A." Cristina noticed stealing a chip from Alex.

"Maybe she´s again in some on-call room with Derek." Lexie giggled and so did Jackson.

"Funny..." Cristina rolled her eyes on the couple and changed the topic. "How about we all go to Joe´s tonight? You and the red headed saint can also come." she meant looking at Jackson.

"Her name is April, and I´m sure she would like to come too, thank you very much." Jackson defended his best friend while Lexie held his hand under the table and drank from her juice box.

"You forgot one thing...I am a father of a baby now." Alex meant with his mouth full and Lexie watched him disgusted.

"Oh please. The nurses can put a baby bed to Izzie´s room. It would be good for both of them." Cristina explained and Alex nodded.

"If that´s possible I´m in...Oh wait...Sloan´s surgery is tonight." Alex remembered.

"You think you have a shot?" Cristina scoffed and caused Lexie giggling.

"Fine...We´ll meet tonight." Alex agreed mad about her comments and stood about with his tray going to Izzie´s room.

"Anyways...I´m gonna go find Meredith." Lexie also stood up and left Jackson and Cristina alone talking a bit.

She walked down the hallway to an on-call room where she heard moans and noises coming out.

"Oh god..Mer..." she thought out loud and knocked on the door. "Come on open me I know you´re in." she knocked at the door and it got silent on the other side. "Hello? It´s not like I couldn´t hear you." she knocked again when suddenly her sister walked by. "Meredith?"

"Lexie what is it? I need to pee." Meredith crossed her legs but Lexie couldn´t answer. "I gotta go."

"But if you´re here then who´s-" Lexie asked loudly but Meredith already ran towards the toilets and suddenly someone opened the door.

"Lexie?" Mark asked shocked when he saw her standing in front of the door. Lexie wasn´t less shocked and when she could move her eyes from him to the person in the bed which was Reid she stepped back.

"I...I..I need to go." she stuttered feeling a lump in her throat.

"Lex I..I can explain this I´m just..." Mark also stuttered feeling bad for this situation.

"He´s just teaching me something." Reid shouted from the inside and Mark closed his eyes and Lexie scoffed.

"Well, then...I don´t want to interrupt you teaching your residents doctor Sloan." she meant and went away.

"Lexie please..." he meanttrying to grab her hand but couldn´t catch her and so he went inside again and closed the door. Lexie entered the restroom and shut the door close, leaning against it when she noticed Meredith washing her hands by the sink.

"Hey...everything´s alright?" she asked her sister who laughed wit tears in her eyes.

"Mark he´s...he´s moving on...he let go.." Lexie explained and Meredith arched her eyebrows confused.

"But isn´t that what you wanted? Isn´t that why you´re dating Jackson?" Meredith wanted to know and Lexie looked at the ceiling so her tears would stay in her eyes not roll down her cheeks.

"Yes...no it´s...it´s great yes...It´s what I wanted...and I...I have Jackson...who...who´s great but he.." Lexie broke down and sat on her knees and cradled her head in her hands.

"Lexie I know, Greys are complicated but...aren´t you happy he finally let go? Aren´t you happy with Jackson?" Meredith asked remaining on her position and Lexie looked up, her face wet from the tears.

"I am...I really like Jackson...he makes me happy and he doesn´t hurt me...but it´s just...Mark´s moving on." she dug her head in her hands again.

"Okay Lex, I need to go to an operation, but...remember my words...Jackson is a good guy...I would keep him and don´t waste any more thought on Mark." she meant and helped Lexie up.

"Okay." her sister nodded pressing her lips together and Meredith left the restroom.

 _To be sexually attracted to someone isn´t something you can decide._

 _It happens._

 _Sometimes it´s because of their body, eyes and sexy voice._

 _But sometimes it´s because of the character, the way they talk and not the look._

"You want to tell me what the problem is doctor Bailey?" Ben asked while she was operating and he sat on his chair checking the patient´s vitals.

"I don´t know what you´re talking about." she replied working in the torso.

"You know the whole "Isn´t there another anesthesiologist here?" thing." he explained opening a journal.

"I guess I´m just not happy about Mercy West doctors which are stealing our doctor´s jobs and sit in the o.r. reading furniture journals." she meant putting some surgical towels into the body while Ben looked about acting mad.

"Well, It´s not my fault that the fusion happened and I didn´t took a job of any doctor on purpose." he explained and Bailey tried to ignore him and concentrate on the operation but something on him distracted her.

"And by the way this is a medical journal not a furniture. Because I don´t sit here wasting time. I always try to learn something. And right now I see that if you continue digging into this guys liver you´re gonna perforate the portal vein." Ben continued and Bailey looked at him.

"I´m not gonna perfo-" she wanted to say but suddenly a huge amount of blood splashed out of the body cave.

"Pressure´s dropping!" Ben jumped up from his chair injecting something while Bailey screamed, "Suction."

"Not perforating, huh?" Ben asked and Bailey gave him a mad look.

 _Being preferred because of your sexuality, isn´t very nice._

 _I mean of course you can sleep with your boss and get better things._

 _But it won´t help you in your future life._

"So guys. I made a decision who´s gonna assist me tonight." Mark stood on the stairs again and every resident and intern stood there listening excited if they´re gonna be picked. Jackson, Lexie, April and Reid stood next to each other.

"You all should know I asked other doctors about their opinions and picked two of you that are in my opinion the perfect pick." Mark continued searching through the crowd for Lexie. He was still embarrassed for their awkward moment earlier this day.

"My first choice was Lexie Grey." Mark meant when he finally spotted her and when she noticed his and everybody´s look on her, she looked down. "But since she has other plans tonight I have another doctors to help me. Doctor Adams, you are one of them." he winked at her and with her whispering thank you Lexie rolled her eyes.

"Oh god." she murmured annoyed.

"You have a problem with me?" Reid asked sarcastically and Lexie scoffed.

"Oh you don´t know what you´re walking into." she replied not less sarcastically.

"Shh...I want to here who the other doctor is." April shut them up.

"The other doctor would then be...doctor Avery." Mark continued and Jackson sighed. "Prepare yourself and-" he wanted to say while the crowd slowly went away, but Jackson stopped him.

"I can´t." he said.

"What?" April and Lexie said at once, and Mark also looked kind of shocked.

"I don´t have time tonight." Jackson explained and Lexie looked at him surprised.

"What are you doing?!" she whispered harshly. "That´s a once in a lifetime chance."

"Not if it is uncomfortable for you." he whispered back smiling. "I´m sorry doctor Sloan today´s not an option for me."

"Well then...Charles Percy...I heard good things about you...you´re in." Mark meant and Charles laughed happily.

"Now..let´s go to Joe´s." Jackson smiled at Lexie, who smiled back.

"Yeah I could really use a drink now." April meant exhausted walking by them and left them giggling.

 _People think they are better when they have more of it in their life._

 _But you should never try to force being sexually attracted to someone._

 _It´s something that happens._

 _Sometimes fast and noticeable..._

The three of them and Alex and Cristina sat down by a table at Joe´s.

"Is Meredith still at the hospital?" Lexie asked Cristina but April answered.

"Yep. She stole my surgery. Where´s the beer?" she asked still mad about it.

"I´m gonna get a round." Alex meant walking over to the bar.

"So Sloan wanted you and you rejected? What the hell went into you?" Cristina asked shocked and Jackson looked at his hands and then to Lexie.

"Well, I guess I just didn´t want to." he smiled at her and Lexie replied it.

"Wha- I mean I understand Lexie didn´t want to but-" Cristina wanted to reply but Lexie interrupted her.

"Can you shut up? Please?" Lexie asked annoyed of Cristina. While she looked kind of shocked and April rolled her eyes Alex gave everyone a beer and sat down.

"Okay, come on Kepner just admit it. You´re still a virgin." Alex giggled sipping from his beer.

"I am not-" April wanted to assure them but Cristina interrupted her.

"Is it because you haven´t found THE one yet?" she laughed looking to Alex who started laughing more and infected Jackson and Lexie to giggle as well.

"I think it is because she´s christian." Jackson told them and April rolled her eyes annoyed by the group.

"Stop it!" she screamed and every laugh stopped. "Fine, I´m a virgin. But I don´t talk about it. We all have things we don´t talk about or at least should be ashamed for." she admitted.

"I don´t even know one-" Jackson wanted to reply but April cut him off madly.

"Really? You and your little girlfriend here are a couple for two weeks and you haven´t even kissed in public much less you haven´t had sex in the whole time." she explained and everybody looked at Jackson, and Lexie who sat on the opposite side of him.

"You told her?" she whispered to him harshly.

"She´s my best friend!" he replied whispering not less harsh.

"And Meredith..." she continued and the group looked up surprised. "Oh my god does she really think that sneaking away wouldn´t catch someone´s eye? Especially when she comes back with her hair like a mess and her blouse buttoned wrong?" Lexie nodded blushing and Alex looked at April respectfull. "And Alex and you Cristina...wow...you´re just...so mean. I don´t know if it´s a protection shield but...maybe you should try being nice someday. So yeah I´m a virgin, I don´t talk about it...and I don´t want you to talk about it either. Can we please get drunk now and let it all be?" she asked drinking her whole beer at once. The group stopped laughing and Jackson stood up taking April´s empty bottle.

"I´m gonna get another round." he meant giving her a comfortable smile and she replied it still mad about the group making fun of her.

 _Sometimes slow and without any sign._


	29. We are family

**Y´all I´m still alive!**

 **And I´m so so sorry for not posting I have so much to do at school it´s insane. I have two to three tests per week :/**

 **Anyway I know this chapter is short, the monologue is not the best, the story is bad blah blah blah. I just really want to finally get to the point slexie reunites but that will take a few more chapters. Probably 4.  
Also i want the next chapter to be a christmas special so yeah and I will include Benley in the next one I forgot about them here.  
**

 **Okay so enjoy this chapter which is probably one of the worst ever and yeah have fun.**

 **We are family**

 _Family._

 _We can´t choose our family._

 _We have to live with whatever we´re given._

 _Sometimes we want them and sometimes not._

"Are you ready?" the o.b. asked Callie as she made the ultra sound of her baby and Mark stood next to her excited watching the picture changing. "Here´s the head and there´s the body..." the woman showed on the monitor and Callie smiled looking at it touching Mark´s hand. "And here you can hear the heart beat." the doctor continued pressing a button and a fast beating sound appeared. Mark smirked and felt happier than he did in a very long time.

"You shouldn´t be here right now." Callie tore Mark out of his thoughts.

"What?" he asked kind of shocked about that statement.

"I mean of course you should...you´re the baby daddy." she explained. "And I´m it´s mommy but...I just wish Arizona could be here right now."

"Then why aren´t you talking to her?" Mark asked pulling his hand away and went in front of Callie so he could face her. In the meantime the o.b. printed the pictures and gave Callie the approval to wipe away the gel and get dressed again.

"I tried..but she..she wanted me to choose between you and her..I couldn´t...you are the father of this child and my best friend, I can not just abandon you." Callie remembered their conversation.

"I know...I mean it´s not okay to say something like that but...you love her and she loves you...she wants to be back together with you." Mark explained trying not to focus on the o.b. who was wasting time so she could listen to the conversation.

"I know but-"

"No! Listen, if I could have another chance with Lexie I would take it..I would take it any day, any minute without asking. Take her back if you love her and if you want it. I assure you that I won´t walk out of this child´s life." he let her know.

"Um..the pictures are done." the o.b. cleared her throat. "I would like to set an appointment. Let me know when you have time in about four weeks. Try to work less, and avoid stress, don´t drink, don´t smoke, you´re a doctor you know this stuff."

"Thank you." Callie took the pictures and hold one out towards Mark. "Take one. Pin it in your locker or something."

"I will. But..don´t you want one to show to Arizona?" he asked.

"I can print another one." the doctor suggested and Callie nodded. One printed picture later Callie and Mark left the room to start working.

"Thank you for coming here and dealing with my hormones...I know I´m hard to handle sometimes." Callie meant looking at her shoes.

"Hey..come here." he pulled her into a hug. "I´m not gonna let you down. I promise. I will be the best father you can imagine for her."

"Why do you think it´s a girl?" Callie pulled away a bit so she could look him into the eyes.

"I just have this feeling." he smirked and caused her giggling.

 _At some point in life you can choose._

 _Well, you can choose with whom you´re sleeping._

 _You can build up a family._

 _But that´s a long progress._

Jackson and Lexie exchanged passionate kisses as his hand stroke the side of her body underneath her shirt. He put off her shirt softly and exhaled when she laid in front of him only in her bra. Looking at his torso, Lexie´s hand touched his abs. Then she looked up again and they locked eyes.

"Are you sure we´re alone?" she asked unsure and Jackson smiled.

"Yes. Meredith and Derek are at work and Alex is with Izzie." Jackson meant leaning in for another kiss but Lexie stopped him right before. "What aren´t you ready? Are you afraid or something?" he worried and his self esteem cracked a bit.

"No..no that´s not the...I am just..a little bit nervous...I was only with one man in my whole life." Lexie looked down embarrassed because she knew Jackson was surely not the type of man who could count the amount of his partners on one hand.

"Hey look at me." he softly put her chin up so she could look him in the eyes. "You don´t have to be. I´m not gonna play dirty with you."

"Okay. I´m happy about that." she replied whispering before kissing him softly and getting more passionate with every kiss. Jackson wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. The more passionate this situation became, Lexie got more anxious and was beyond grateful when Jackson´s phone rang.

"I´m just gonna pretend I didn´t hear it." he smirked breaking the kiss for only a second.

"But maybe it´s important." Lexie meant between the kisses. Jackson pulled away and looked at her. "Could be a massive car accident." she joked and so Jackson turned around and picked up.

"Hello?...April...wait, what?...No I can´t I...you are what?!...I´m not home...fine...fine I´ll open you." Lexie listened to the talk and wanted to know what they were talking when he hung up.

"April´s in front of the door. She wants to spend the time until she goes to the hospital here because it´s closer." he explained annoyed.

"Wait...your best friend is standing in front of my sister´s house´s door? How?" Lexie asked while Jackson stood up and put on sweat pants.

"Yeah. She saw my car in front of the house so she knew I´m inside." he meant and stood up walking to the other side of the bed and leaned down to give Lexie a kiss on the forehead. As much as she was happy about the disturbance, she was also annoyed about the red head spending the next hour in her kitchen.

"Okay." she whispered during the kiss and watched Jackson leaving in his sweat pants but without shirt. But she didn´t worry. She knew that it would be insane if he would choose the wall flower over her. Not to be rude.

 _And the choosing is also not that easy._

 _Because whoever you´ll choose,_

 _You have to live with the other person´s family._

 _And that can be really overwhelming._

"Jackson. Finally." April greeted him annoyed when he opened the door. "What are you wearing? Or rather what are you not wearing?" she asked stepping him and directly going to the kitchen like she would know the way.

"Well, I had other plans for the morning than spending it with you." he meant and closed the door behind her.

"For example?" she asked turning around when she arrived at her destination – the kitchen table – but quickly changed her mind. "Forget it. I think I can imagine it."

"Hello." Lexie greeted April when she went downstairs dressed in one of Jackson´s shirts which was hanging down on her till her knees.

"Hi." April replied with her highly pitched voice.

"I´m gonna make some coffee." Lexie whispered to Jackson and went to the coffee machine.

"For me too please." April told her loudly and Lexie rolled her eyes while Jackson looked down knowing how bad the decision to let her in was.

* * *

"Thank you very much." Teddy thanked a man who opened the door to the hospital for her. They went next to each other, drinking coffee and laughing about each other´s jokes. "So here´s the nurse´s desk and over there is an on-call room. And down the hallway is the cardio-thoracic ICU. But I´m afraid I can´t take you there." Teddy showed him everything and he looked around smiling.

"Wow that´s impressing." he flirted with her and made her giggle.

"And now we´re in the waiting room...oh and my shift starts so I need to say goodbye to- Henry!" she interrupted her own sentence when she saw her fake – husband sitting in the waiting room.

"Teddy hi." he came to her and hugged her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked forgetting about her date behind her.

"I´m here for um... my blood sugar check. Who´s that?" he changed the topic to the man with a bit of jealousy in his voice.

"Oh that´s Calvin...he wanted to see where I´m working." Teddy introduced him and the men shook hands.

"Nice to meet you. And you are?" Calvin asked him and smiled widely.

"Henry. I´m her husband." Henry replied and Teddy froze and so did her date. "Just kidding. I´m a friend." he tried to cover up the true joke.

"Well, anyway...I need to go now. I´ll call you okay?" Calvin meant turning back to Teddy.

"Okay." she meant and he went away.

"Calvin?" Henry asked when he was sure the man couldn´t her them anymore.

"Don´t worry. He was a one time thing. Such a suck up." Teddy explained.

"Glad to hear." he smirked and made her smile a bit.

"Anyways...Would you like to go to the cafeteria for lunch later on? I have a few rounds to make and them I´m ready." she meant while both sat down.

"Yeah sure. I think it will take some time until Webber gets my results." Henry answered looking around if his doctor was anywhere to be seen.

"Great. I´ll meet you there at 12." Teddy stood up and went away.

* * *

Derek was having a meeting over the phone when Meredith knocked on the door and stepped in quietly because he put his finger on his mouth showing to be silent.

"Yeah of course I understand...thank you very much...thank you...goodbye." he meant and hung up feeling Meredith coming closer and looking flirty.

"Who was that?" she asked straightening his lab coat, biting her lip.

"That, my dear, was doctor Michael Reilly. The man who allows you to make a clinical trial." Derek replied whispering.

"Clinical trial? You want to do one?" she asked surprised and he nodded smiling. "About what?"

"Alzheimer. I want to cure it." Derek meant and Meredith pulled away a bit. "Now that you´re pregnant, I want to know how to stop that disease."

"Because you think I have it?" Meredith wanted to know now less happy and enthusiastic than before.

"Come on...don´t be mad. I want to have a happy and long life with you. And I want to cure the illness that killed your mother and could take you away from me." Derek tried to convince her but she was still skeptical. All the times her mother forgot her or thought she was still the 7 year old girl had burned into her memories. Of course Meredith didn´t want to end up like her mother. And she always wanted Derek to have this great opportunity, and now that she was pregnant, she wanted her baby to have a good childhood unlike she did.

"Okay." she eventually meant. "I´m so happy for you."

"Us. For us." Derek corrected her and put his lips on her´s.

* * *

Izzie was laying in her bed, with Denny in her arms and playing with his little fingers. She was so focused on the baby in her hands, which giggled when she tickled his nose, that she didn´t notice Alex standing in the door watching her.

"Here are the papers doctor Karev." a nurse´s voice tore Izzie out of her perfect world.

"Thank you." he replied taking a chart and signing it.

"What´s that?" she asked curious watching Alex coming to the bed.

"That, were the papers for your discharge. You can come home with us." he smiled at her and her shocked eyes welled up, not believing a single word he said.

"Are you serious? I am allowed to go home?" she asked huskily and with a shaking voice.

"Well, as long as you go to your treatments and I take care of you-"

"I would hug you and kiss you heavily but I have a little child in my arms so I´m gonna safe it for later." Izzie smiled happily.

"Where´s your bag? I´m gonna pack your stuff together." Alex meant after giving her a soft kiss on her lips.

* * *

"Excuse me what does that mean?" Lucy Fields stood in Webber´s office, her arms crossed over her chest looking controlled and fearless, her teeth biting on her lower lip nervously and anxious.

"Since the fusion with the Mercy West we have to cut our staff. Your work here was a great essence to our hospital. You´ve done a pretty good job. But doctor Robbins is back and we had to decide between you and her. The management chose her. I´m sorry to tell you, doctor Fields but...you´re fired." Webber tried to focus on the protocol the management gave him. He was beyond uncomfortable with the situation and with losing his people but he had to if he didn´t want to run his hospital into financial troubles.

"Why would you? I´ve been here longer than she was, and I didn´t leave after a few months because another hospital gave me more money." Lucy was mad about the chief´s comment and she didn´t want to take it and back up.

"As far as the management told me, doctor Robbins´ resumé has been much better. She did a lot of fellowships, was the best resident at Hopkins and graduated from Harvard as second best of the whole year. She was the first choice. I can not tell you how sorry I am but you need to go." he tried to explain the decision.

"You know what? Fine, I´ll go! But this is a joke. Everything´s here a joke! You have doctors falling in love with patients and marry them or kill them. Interns that sleep with their bosses for better surgeries and oh my god in this hospital is a quarter of your patients your own doctors! I´m glad I´m out of here because maybe a bus would have run me down, or I would have fell down the staircase or whatsoever. You will notice that you shouldn´t have let me go. It´s your loss!" Lucy pointed with her finger on him now furious and wild. "I´m hella out of here!" she shouted walking to the door and shutting it close behind her.

* * *

April, Jackson and Lexie were sitting in the cafeteria for lunch and April couldn´t stop talking which annoyed Lexie massively.

"April." Jackson murmured seeing how his best friend was clearly overstepping the line.

"What?" she asked confused after he said her name for several times. Jackson looked up and wanted to say something when Lexie cut him off by standing up.

"You know I have to go now. Prepare for a surgery or something." she meant awkwardly and kissed Jackson goodbye before leaving the table with her tray in her hands.

"Thank you." Jackson meant to April annoyed.

"What? Is everything alright?" she asked confused and worried.

"It would be if you could stop to be a part of our relationship." he explained angrily.

"What? I´m not trying to-" April shook her head unbelievable when Jackson cut her off.

"Yes you are. I love you April, you´re my best friend. But I really like this girl. She makes me feel like I´m something special." he smiled thinking about her.

"I..I´m sorry...I didn´t know...Jackson I just don´t want you to be hurt like you were the last time." she put her hand on his shoulder which gave him chills.

"I won´t. She´s not like that. She wouldn´t hurt me that way." he promised his best friend.

"Okay. Well, then just tell me when I cross the line." she gave him a comforting smile and their eyes couldn´t stop staring at each other for a moment.

* * *

Teddy was walking into the cafeteria, looking around where Henry was, when she found him sitting in the corner by a quiet table.

"Wow. You found something relaxing." she said when she sat down next to him.

"Well, I thought we could talk a bit." Henry meant with worried eyes and Teddy immediately noticed something was wrong.

"Oh my god...what´s wrong? Why are you really here?" she wanted to know and he looked down at his hands nervously.

"Teddy, my cancer is back...I have metastases on my colon...it looks bad." he explained holding back his anger and sadness.

"What do you mean with it looks bad?" Teddy stuttered unable to believe him.

"Webber meant the chance to cure this one is very low...and it would probably be better if I´m not gonna let him operate...the risks are too high." he continued to tell his fake wife the diagnose.

"How long? How long could you live without it?" she asked silently and came closer to him.

"6 months, he said." Henry explained. Teddy sighed and grabbed his hand caring.

"Henry I´m...I´m so sorry I-" she started but he cut her off.

"I´m letting him operate." he said and Teddy looked up quite shocked.

"What? That...that could kill you!" she whispered harshly so nobody could hear them.

"I´d die either way. But I don´t want to die, being known as a coward." Henry and Teddy looked into each other´s eyes for a moment without knowing what to say.

"Henry I don´t know if-" she replied but stopped when Henry leaned back closing his eyes and sighed. "I´m just being realistic. I´m a doctor on my own...I know the risks...but if that´s the way you want to go I will support you. I married you because I wanted to save your life, and if you believe this will save it, I´m in." Henry clearly didn´t expect these words from her and leaned forward again which caused her to smile.

"Thank you." he whispered and Teddy hugged him happily.

"You´re welcome."

* * *

It was already dark outside when Alex carried Izzie, who still had Denny in her arms, in a wheelchair towards the exit of the hospital when he saw Derek passing by.

"Wait here for a sec." he meant to Izzie and chased after him. "Derek. Hey."

"Karev. What do you want? I´m in a rush." Derek replied stressed out closing a chart and Alex bit on his lower lip nervously.

"I´m wondering if you could borrow us your trailer...?" he asked shyly and Derek raised an eyebrow. "You know now that Izzie is allowed to go home and we can eventually have a family...and of course we don´t want baby screams to bother you.." he tried to explain stuttering. Derek liked the nervous Alex so he hesitated for fun which made Alex even more anxious.

"Of course you can. The keys are in the drawer in Ellis Grey´s dresser in the anteroom." Derek told him smiling and Alex exhaled relieved.

"Thank you so much." he replied and went back to Izzie.

"What was it?" she asked focusing on Denny.

"We can finally start our own little family." Alex answered carrying her towards the parking lot.

* * *

"Hey." Jackson suddenly stood behind Lexie, who noted something at the nurse´s desk, and whispered into her ear.

"Hi, you." Lexie turned around smiling and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I talked to April about this morning...she promised me not to overstep the line again." he explained and Lexie smiled even brighter.

"Thank you." she whispered and kissed him softly and for a brief second. "I see you´re in your normal clothes. Did your shift end already?" she wanted to know when she noticed that he didn´t wear his scrubs anymore.

"Yeah. When does yours end?" Jackson replied smiling at his beautiful girlfriend.

"Um...in 20 minutes." Lexie meant looking at her wrist watch.

"Okay, I´ll wait for you in the lobby." he suggested and Lexie nodded. In the meantime Mark came around the corner but quickly stepped back so they wouldn´t notice him but he could watch them.

"Thank you." Lexie answered and gave him another kiss on his lips, before he went away smiling.

"I see you two are good." Mark suddenly stood next to Lexie, who was looking after Jackson and turned around surprised. "That´s good...very good."

"Yeah...yeah we are." Lexie answered awkwardly and both nodded not looking at each other. "How´s..Reid...your little girlfriend." she asked reminding him of his hook up.

"She´s not my girlfriend Lex..." he looked at her and their eyes met and they couldn´t break their gaze.

"So then Callie is? Because she´s the mother of your baby?" Lexie asked when she eventually found her words again.

"No...no she wants to get back together with Arizona...Guess I´m gonna be a single dad." he giggled trying to not show how much he misses Lexie. But although they knew each other for only a half year, Lexie could read his mind.

"Yeah...how´s the baby anyway?" she tried to not get this conversation awkward, but everything about talking about the baby of your ex boyfriend and his best friend was awkward.

"It´s good...we made an ultra sound today. You want to see it?" he asked and put his hand in his pocket where he carried the picture with him but Lexie shook her head.

"No I...I don´t need that." she meant and Mark nodded.

"Right..." he replied and both remained silent. "Lex...I love you..I want you back."

"No Mark. Stop." she cut him off.

"You can´t tell me you have no feelings for me." Mark came closer but Lexie stepped back.

"No I can´t. I love you, Mark. I always will. But I don´t want to love you. I want to be happy. And Jackson he...he makes me happy. Please let me be happy." she closed the chart she was taking notes from and put it onto the shelve, while Mark was watching her with hurt eyes. "Please...I beg you...stay out of my life." Lexie meant showing him with her hand to not come closer, and then turning around and walking away.

 _The only family we can´t choose are our friends._

 _Our people._

 _And thank god they are always there for you._

Meredith walked down the hallway when she heard sobs out of the resident´s locker room. She went to the door and recognized her best friend – Cristina – sitting on the bench cradling her head in her hands.

"Hey...hey what´s wrong?" she sat down next to her and placed her palm on her friend´s shoulder.

"It´s...nothing...I´m okay." Cristina replied but Meredith of course remained on her seat, knowing she was lying. After a few moments, when Cristina noticed Meredith wouldn´t go away she looked up and dried her hands on her scrub pants.

"It´s Owen. I miss him so much." she finally admitted.

"Oh...I know...come here." Meredith offered her a hug but Cristina shook her head. "I´m your person. Come here. Now." she ordered and Cristina came to her.

"I know it´s hard. But he will return soon. And you have Teddy and cardio back." she tried to make her friend feel comfortable.

"But I want him back." Cristina sobbed into Meredith´s arms.

"I know...I know.." she replied. "You want to go to Joe´s and get drunk with Tequila?" Meredith asked but Cristina shook her head.

"You want to go home with me and get drunk there?" she asked and her person nodded. "Okay. Come on." they stood up and changed into normal clothes before driving home.

 _But every now and then we can decide if we want the family._

 _Because, let´s admit it._

 _No matter how insane or complicated or exhausting_

 _it sounds,_

 _you love those people. And if you love them,_

 _you want to live with them._

 _No matter what._

"What is that?" Arizona asked annoyed looking at the picture not even paying attention to it.

"It´s an ultra sound. Of the baby." Callie replied smiling and Arizona looked up to her and then back at the picture now seeing the peanut – sized dot in black and white. "Arizona look. I want you in my life. And I want you in this baby´s life. I know you never wanted children but our baby won´t end up in your ICU. It will be a strong boy or girl because it has two strong moms." Callie explained and Arizona´s eyes welled up. "But of course it will also have a father." she continued and Arizona´s smile stopped. "I´m sorry but Mark is my best friend and he is the father. He wants to be a part of it´s life and I will not push him away. So either you start making compromises or you have to stay out of-"

"I´m in." Arizona cut her off.

"What?" Callie asked surprised.

"I´m in. I want you Callie. The past few weeks had been the worst of my life. And I can´t live without you. I can´t live without you and our ten kids. And I will get along with Mark. For you. For it." Arizona explained and both got tears in their eyes. "I love you Calliope."

"I love you too." Callie whispered underneath her breath and quickly stepped forward to kiss her. They´re lips met and both felt like they didn´t in a very long time.


	30. Very extraordinary Christmas

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

 **I promised you Christmas chapter and here it is. It´s a bit longer and a bit drama. Not really a single thing of medicine, but a Izzie Stevens that is a Christmazilla (I tried to make her funnyXD). Hope you guys enjoy it because the next one will be very, very sad if everything goes right.**

 **Anyway here you have it. I wish all of you a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. May all your dreams come true and I hope you stay healthy and happy. I love y´all**

 **Very extraordinary** **Christmas**

 _Oh happy holidays._

 _Or whatever._

 _Because holidays aren´t as relaxing as they should be._

 _You have to buy presents for everyone,_

 _cook for the dinner party and decorate the whole house._

 _It´s stress. Pure stress._

"I´m not gonna do a Christmas party here." Meredith went downstairs followed by Derek who tried to convince her.

"Oh come on. When I was a child we celebrated Christmas like this every year. My mother cooked, while my dad dressed up the Christmas tree with me and my sisters. And then we had to go to our rooms and wait for Santa. It was the best time in the year where all came together." he retold from his memories.

"Derek...? We are all adults. Nobody´s gonna go to a room and wait for Santa." Meredith looked at him surprised by his childishly behavior.

"I mean not only Santa but...just to sit together and enjoy delicious food you cooked." Derek came closer and grabbed Meredith by her waist and pulled her closer to his.

"I can´t cook. And I won´t cook. You can cook." she still wasn´t happy about his thought.

"Fine, I´ll cook. And you decide whom we´ll invite." Derek kissed her on the cheek and went to the kitchen to check what they have in storage.

"But I didn´t..." she was left speechless and looked around confused. "How did that party happen?"

 _In which color should I decorate the tree?_

 _Whom should I invite?_

 _What should I serve to eat?_

 _And most importantly – which brand of eggnog?_

"Hey Iz, Mer called. Derek´s planning a Christmas party and we should get the tree." Alex pointed on his phone walking over to his fiancé who was sitting on the bed in the small trailer.

"Oh I love Christmas. Right Denny? Mommy loves Christmas." Izzie played with her son´s feet.

"I know...So how about we three make a vacation to the woods today and search for the perfect tree and then buy some decoration?" Alex sat down next to her on the bed and Izzie smiled at him.

"I think that sounds good." she replied and put her hands on his cheeks. "But don´t you have a shift today?"

"Nah...I´m gonna say I´m sick." Alex scoffed and Izzie giggled. She slowly leaned in and gave him a soft kiss.

"Happy holidays." she meant after she ended the kiss.

"Happy holidays." he answered still smiling and fascinated by his little family.

 _As much as I would like to say, that I hate all these things,_

 _I also have to admit that the party afterwards,_

 _with all my friends and loved ones is really nice._

 _But seriously,_

 _A relaxing evening at the couch with a bottle of tequila would also be nice._

"Hello, Madison." Arizona came into a patient´s room with Santa Clause´s hat on her head smiling as bright as sun does.

"Good morning doctor Robbins." the little girl laughed at her doctor brightly. "But you aren´t Santa" she noticed still happy about Christmas time.

"You´re right." Arizona agreed and turned her head towards Lexie who followed her into the room.

"Where is Alex?" the child asked when she noticed that there was another doctor instead of him.

"Alex is at home spending time with his baby and girlfriend. But doctor Grey is also a very good doctor." Arizona explained and Lexie smiled at the child and it´s mother. The mother stood up and went to Lexie to explain the situation to her.

"Maddie has a neuroblastoma. Doctor Robbins and doctor Shepherd are gonna operate her." she whispered to Lexie and she nodded.

"She looks like a tough girl." Lexie noticed, looking at the 5 year old child playing with Arizona´s hat.

"She is. Sometimes she´s stronger than me. I don´t know how she does that but she only sees the positive in every situation." the mother´s eyes welled up talking about her daughter. Lexie put her hand on her shoulder and gave her a comfortable smile.

"I assure you, doctor Robbins and doctor Shepherd are the best surgeons you could possibly get." Lexie promised and the mother smiled.

"Thank you. You really are nice." she scoffed wiping away a tear, before going back to her daughter and grabbing her hand.

* * *

Arizona and Lexie left the room after a brief explanation of the surgery, and went to the nurse´s desk to fill in the data to a chart.

"You did great, little Grey." Arizona complimented her.

"Thank you. It´s really hard you know...working with kids that have such a nasty illness." Lexie explained a bit overwhelmed.

"Yeah I know. I felt the same way when I started in peds. But with some time you start to see the world like the children and that´s...a happy place." Arizona mentioned to the intern and smiled at her encouraging.

"Well, I spent most of my internship in plastics so...there aren´t a lot of children." Lexie remembered the time when she started working here. Unbelievable that it was almost a half year.

"Have you thought about pediatrics?" Arizona asked. "I think you would make a great surgeon." Lexie smiled at the compliment when she suddenly saw Callie walking towards them and stopped.

"I...I should go." she stuttered and walked away before Callie even arrived.

"You´re working with little Grey?" she asked when she stood next to Arizona, who was looking rather surprised about her girlfriend standing there.

"I do. She´s a really good intern. The best I would say." Arizona admitted and turned to Callie. "What do you want?" she asked smiling and Callie replied it with her bright smile.

"Well, Derek invited Mark and me to their Christmas party tomorrow and I wanted to know if you would like to come with us." Callie smiled holding Arizona´s hand who slowly raised an eyebrow.

"A Christmas party with Mark? I don´t quite know." Arizona hesitated and her girlfriend sighed.

"Come on...this will be fun...we can dance to some Christmas music, eat nicely, drink eggnog." Callie tried to convince her and Arizona rolled her eyes before smiling.

"Okay, okay, okay. I´m going with you. But you won´t drink any eggnog! I don´t want our baby to have any deformations." she ordered and Callie nodded agreeing.

"Yay!" she replied excited kissing Arizona on the mouth quickly before going away again.

* * *

"Mer! Mer! Oh my god you won´t believe what happened." Cristina ran towards her best friend when she saw her walking down the hallway.

"And you won´t believe what happened to Derek." she replied still annoyed by the Christmas party.

"Teddy lets me do a solo surgery. Isn´t that great?! I can do a open heart surgery alone!" Cristina told her excited.

"Derek behaves like a child. He wants to bring Santa to my house." Meredith ignored Cristina continuing their walk.

"Mer? Are you even listening? I´ll fly solo today." Cristina tapped her on her shoulder.

"Hm what? Oh congratulations." Meredith shook her head to get rid of the thoughts about an old, creepy stranger sitting in red clothes at her table.

"And what´s going on with Derek?" she asked and Meredith rolled her eyes.

"He wants to do a Christmas party tomorrow. With all our friends and so on. Like he did when he was younger." she explained bored.

"A Christmas party? You are not doing parties...except tequila parties." Cristina scoffed and Meredith giggled.

"Yeah I have to invite everyone so...congratulations you just got invited to a Christmas party." Meredith mentioned towards her friend.

"I´m Jewish." Cristina tried to get uninvited but Meredith looked at her begging.

"Please come! I can not survive this without you." she begged her and Cristina rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I´ll bring the tequila." she eventually agreed.

"Well, there´s another tiny problem with that." Meredith stopped and looked Cristina deeply in the eyes smiling brightly. "I can´t drink tequila."

"What? Are you on a diet or something? I can also bring other stuff." Cristina meant thinking about her little house bar.

"No, no...that´s not...I planned to tell you earlier but I didn´t know how...I..." she looked around and came a bit closer so nobody could hear them. "I´m pregnant." she whispered and Cristina´s eyes opened widely.

"Oh..oh my god...Mer that´s fantastic...wait it is fantastic right? We want this to happen, don´t we?" Cristina asked unsure but Meredith smiled and nodded.

"Yes, yes. We want this." she replied happily.

"Wow...congrats." the two women hugged excited. "Okay um...I will bring some tequila for me and juice for you." she laughed and so did Meredith. "Mer, I´m proud of you. You are finally getting shiny and bright and not all dark and twisty."

"Thanks..I guess." Meredith arched an eyebrow and both continued giggling.

* * *

"Richard?" Derek knocked on the door to the chief´s office and entered it without waiting for a reply. "Oh sorry I didn´t wan to disturb you." he quickly added when he saw Ben sitting in a chair in front of Webber.

"No no, we were just finished." the former Mercy West doctor meant standing up.

"Great. I wanted to invite you Richard. To the Christmas party Meredith and I will host tomorrow night." he came a bit closer ignoring Ben who remained on the place he was. "I know we two have gone over a rough path lately, but I know how close you and Meredith are. And Christmas is the time of forgiveness and love. So what do you say?" he ended his speech eventually standing in front of the desk and Richard took off his glasses, folding his hands together.

"I would very much like to come." he admitted and Derek smiled.

"Ah Christmas. We always celebrated it at home but since my parents are too old to have a party, and my siblings are all over the country we don´t do it anymore. Sadly." Ben interrupted their eye contact.

"Oh I´m sure you can come to the party too." Richard meant focusing on Ben and not noticing Derek´s warning eyes. "One plate more or less doesn´t make a difference." he turned back to Derek who faked a smile. "Am I right?"

"Indeed." he murmured still with the faked smile but an angry voice, turning towards his new colleague. "If you want to."

"Thank you doctor Shepherd, I will follow your invitation." Ben nodded and went towards the door, while Derek was still pressing down his anger.

"Oh shall I bring something? Eggnog or pastries or something?" he asked clearly amused by Derek´s anger.

"No we´re fine thank you." he replied giving Richard a mad look.

"Well, then see you tomorrow night." Ben meant before leaving the office and the two men behind.

* * *

"Henry hi." Teddy walked through the hallway speaking into her phone. "Yeah I was wondering if you would like to meet tomorrow? Having a little Christmas party together?" she continued and and waited for his response. "Well, I mean...I thought you don´t have friends and I don´t have friends left because Cristina is at some kind of party at Meredith´s so why not?" she shrugged forgetting that he couldn´t see her at all. "Oh you don´t have to give me a gift...No really. I take something from this good diner and we´ll eat at yours...is 8 okay? Fine then I´ll see you tomorrow. Bye." she hung up smiling after he agreed to their little party.

* * *

"You took Mark with you?" Izzie asked Alex whispering harshly, when they were walking into the woods behind the trailer followed by Mark.

"I had to. Or did you want to find a tree and carry it to Mer?" Alex replied whispering so Mark couldn´t hear them.

"Karev! This one´s good." Mark stopped in front of a tree and pointed on it when the couple turned around.

"Okay. Have fun." Izzie kissed Alex on the cheek and went back to the trailer.

"Looks good. Izzie will have a lot of fun to decorate it." he meant walking over to the attending.

"Well, then...give me the ax." Mark reached out his hand so Alex would give him one of the two axes he took with them. After both had an ax in their hands and finished discussing where they should start to hew, the men started to get the Christmas tree ready.

* * *

 **The next day**

It was the 24th of December and Meredith and Derek were sitting in the kitchen together with Alex and Izzie, who brought the tree a half hour ago and stayed to drink some coffee.

"So I invited Mark, who brings Callie and Arizona with him, Richard and this new Mercy West doctor Ben Warren or something." Derek counted the people he told about the party.

"Um...I did invite Cristina and Bailey." Meredith added and Izzie almost choked on her coffee.

"Bailey? Why did you invite her?" she wondered.

"She was our supervisor last year. What should I have done? Also I thought you two were friends?" Meredith asked defending.

"We were yeah. When I had nobody. God this feels like an eternity ago." she remembered the time Alex and her had been broken up.

"Okay...then we have Lexie and Jackson, who probably will bring April with him, and you two." Derek pointed on Alex and Izzie. "That makes a total of 10 guests and us." he counted and Meredith put her hand on her forehead.

"I think the last time this house has seen so many people was when Izzie threw that `Meet my friends´ party in our first year for your then – boyfriend." she remembered and everybody chuckled.

"I think there were like 50 people and 30 of them we did hardly know." Izzie sipped from her coffee retelling the story. After a while talking about the old days, Derek took a new list and started to make a shopping list.

"Okay. You need to buy those things and I will prepare the house." he meant and held the list to his fiancé.

"What? No! I don´t have time my shift goes until 5 pm. You wanted to do this, you go shopping. I can decorate the house." Meredith argued with him.

"Mer..." Alex raised an eyebrow. "When you decorate the house it will look all...dark and twisty and the tree decoration will be stuff you stole from the hospital like gloves and scalpels and surgical masks."

"So what?" Meredith shrugged. "We´re all doctors. This would be the right way to celebrate Christmas." she explained and Derek sighed looking to Alex and Izzie.

"You know what? I´ll decorate the house." Izzie meant and everybody looked at her. "Derek can go shopping, and Meredith attend her shift. I love Christmas and I would be happy to decorate this, dusty...old...house. Alex can help me, and we can spend some time in a real house with a real, big bathroom." she offered and Derek smiled nodding slightly.

"Then so be it." he replied and Izzie smiled as bright as the sun, while Meredith just rolled her eyes.

* * *

"Cristina hey, do you have time?" Teddy ran towards her resident smiling happily. "I have a open heart surgery you might be very interested. You did great yesterday on your solo surgery."

"Damn it!" Cristina cursed whispering.

"Um..." Teddy arched her eyebrows. "I thought you would be more enthusiastic, than that."

"I would be, if Meredith didn´t have ordered me to come earlier to her house today for this party." Cristina explained annoyed.

"Right the Christmas party. Well, um...then I will just find another one to help me. It´ll be hard because almost everyone helpful is invited to this party-" Teddy thought loud.

"Aren´t you?" Cristina asked a bit shocked. She really hoped Teddy would come.

"No, I never received an invitation." she meant a bit sad about these circumstances.

"Oh um, I´m sure you can come. I mean I almost live there so, I´ll invite you." the resident meant.

"Are you sure that´s a good idea?" Teddy wanted to make sure before she could get excited. But Cristina just waved with her hand as it would be no big deal and nodded.

"Okay then, I´ll see you there. Can you write me down the address?" Teddy put a piece of paper and a pen in front of Cristina, but as soon as she wrote it down, Teddy remembered her little orphan – party with Henry.

"Oh no...I already made plans with Henry, I just remember." she held her hand against her forehead mad.

"Oh bring him too. The more the better, right? And one person more or less, won´t hurt anybody." Cristina was still feeling like the host.

"Great. We´ll be there around eight." Teddy said as a goodbye when she left her favorite resident.

* * *

"No Alex a bit more to the left...the other left." Izzie ordered Alex who was putting bows onto the handrail.

"Is this really necessary? No one will look there." he replied exhausted by her commands.

"Alex? Of course it´s necessary. These bows are essential." she explained him when he rolled his eyes. Derek opened the door exhaling exhausted ,when he stepped in with three big brown bags under his arms and took them to kitchen followed by Izzie. She watched him as he unpacked them and raised her eyebrows higher and higher the emptier the bags got.

"Haven´t you bought popcorn and cranberries?" she asked concerned when all bags were emptied.

"Why would you need that?" Derek asked helpless and Alex also came to the kitchen in the meantime.

"For popcorn – cranberry festoons? Are you guys mocking me? What´s wrong with you." she switched her eyecontact between Alex and Derek.

"I think we can survive without them." Alex tried to calm her down, by putting his hand on her shoulder but she pulled away.

"Are you kidding?" she asked seriously. "What is Christmas without any popcorn – cranberry festoons?"

"Should I drive again and buy some-" Derek asked but Izzie´s shocked face interrupted him.

"Of course." she meant harshly, and even the attending got anxious that she would jump on him and scratch out his eyes because he didn´t buy popcorn and cranberries. He quickly took his car key and left the house.

"Can we please now just decorate the tree?" Alex asked tired by decorating rooms and places nobody would look at.

"Have you put the fairy lights on the curtain rail?" she sighed questioning his enthusiasm for Christmas.

"Um...what?" Alex wondered which insane idea she had again.

"Alex? Do I have to do everything on my own?" Izzie replied shocked and went to the living room where a dozen of boxes with decoration was standing.

* * *

Meredith came home together with Cristina, and was really surprised by how her mother´s house looked like. It was like walking through a winter wonderland, full of bows, and glitter, and candles.

"Wow...what happened to this house." Cristina asked overwhelmed when she stepped into the living room, where Alex and Derek where sitting with each a beer in their hands.

"Izzie happened." Derek replied almost traumatized.

"Oh, did Izzie break your will?" Meredith gave Derek a soft kiss on the cheek, but he still looked pitiful.

"Alex? Derek? Why are you sitting there, drinking beer?" Izzie asked nervously with Denny in her hands. "The table is not ready yet."

"Iz, the guests are coming in two hours." Alex sighed letting his head fall back.

"Right. That means, less than two hours to finish this house. It looks pitiful." she looked around acting embarrassed.

"Okay, Izzie. I think you should sit down now and drink a tea or something. The house looks wonderful." Meredith promised when she sat her friend and her baby down on a chair.

"But the table." she whispered.

"Cristina and I will make it. Give the boys some rest." she assured holding back her giggle.

* * *

The two hours went by quickly and Izzie was with Denny and with Jackson and Lexie sitting on the couch by the fire talking, while April really had to behave herself to not join them. Meredith, Alex and Derek were working in the kitchen. Cristina talked with Webber about his surgeries he had in his younger days and how the medicine changed throughout the years. When Miranda left her car and went towards the door she suddenly met Ben outside of the house.

"Oh no." she murmured as she recognized him.

"Doctor Bailey. Didn´t expect you here." Ben meant charming as always.

"Doctor Warren. I didn´t think they´d invite you either." she replied already annoyed by him.

"Well, I guess then that that´s a good way to finally get to know each other better." he grinned and she scoffed.

"Hardly." she replied going to the door where Derek opened them.

"Miranda!" he said happily but his mood changed quickly when he recognized Ben behind her. "Doctor Warren."

"It´s also a pleasure for me." Ben smiled as they stepped in and Derek rolled his eyes.

* * *

As everybody was talking in their small groups Meredith went to the door, because it knocked again.

"Doctor Altman? Henry?" she asked confused when she saw them.

"Hey. Um...we brought some wine...as a thanks for the invitation. I wasn´t sure what you would serve so I just bought white and red one but I also have-" Teddy searched in a bag when Henry, who noticed Meredith´s confusion cut her off.

"Teddy." he cleared his throat and she looked up and now noticed it too.

"Oh...Cristina didn´t tell you, did she? She invited us...but um...we can go if...if you don´t want us here." Teddy stuttered uncomfortable.

"No...No..I was just curious. Come in." Meredith opened the door more widely so they could come in and they did so smiling brightly. "You can hang your coats here and keep your boots on." Meredith showed them before going back to the kitchen.

* * *

"I´ll open." Lexie screamed to the kitchen when she was heading to the door to open it.

"Keep calm. Everything will be-" Callie meant to Mark but stopped when the door opened and Lexie stood there a bit shocked about Arizona, Mark and Callie standing there.

"Mark...hi...you´re here...and Callie and Arizona are too...great." Lexie faked a smile. Callie nodded slightly and looked into the house.

"May we come in?" she wanted to know and Lexie stepped aside.

"Yeah...sure...come in." she opened the door a bit more and the three gave her a small smile as a thank you. After the "family" was in the living room, Lexie closed the door and leaned her head against it.

"Hey is everything alright?" Jackson asked worried when he came to her with a beer in his hand.

"Yeah. Everything´s great..it´s fantastic." Lexie lied throwing her arms into the sky. "Do you know where the eggnog is? I need it ASAP!" she asked not waiting for the answer and going back to the kitchen. As soon as she found Meredith discussing with Alex, she walked over to her.

* * *

"I know how to cut vegetables. I´m a surgeon!" Meredith tried to make him clear but Alex shook his head.

"Even the way you hold the knife is wrong." he tried to make her stop but Meredith continued cutting the carrots roughly.

"See I can do thi- Ouch!" she suddenly screamed mid-sentence when she felt the sharp knife in her skin.

"Told ya." Alex couldn´t resist smiling when he put a band aid around her thumb.

"Haha...you´re very fun-" she replied mad but Lexie´s hand on her shoulder cut her off.

"Meredith? May I talk to you for a second?" she asked stressed, and her sister nodded and handed the knife over to Alex.

"Do it better!" she meant harshly and Alex scoffed.

"I will." he replied. Meredith and Lexie went to a more quiet place to talk while Alex looked at the carrots and onions biting on his lip when April came to him.

"Kepner. Here cut the vegetables!" he gave her the knife and left with his beer bottle.

"But I have to decorate-...son of a bitch." she wanted to tell him no but murmured the rest of the sentence when she noticed he was gone.

* * *

"Lexie, what´s wrong?" Meredith asked confused when her sister finally stopped dragging her through the house.

"You invited Mark?" Lexie asked nervously walking around.

"Derek did. Why? Is it a problem for you?" Meredith wanted to know not less confused than before.

"No...no...I´m totally fine...I´m great...I think it´s fantastic that my ex and his two lesbian friends, which are the mothers of his baby are here...I mean...That sounds fun." Lexie explained sarcastically.

"Lexie you could have told me...I thought it was fine by now...I thought you were over him." Meredith told her sorrowful.

"I am...I am totally over him...I´m totally fine...You know what I´m gonna go downstairs and prepare the eggnog I feel like we could need some." Lexie tried to change the subject and left Meredith, who was still confused and a bit speechless over the reaction.

* * *

The music was playing in the radio and everybody was sitting by the table. Meredith was at the head, next to her Derek, Lexie, Jackson, April, Richard, Ben and Miranda. On the other side of Meredith were Mark, Callie, Arizona, Izzie, Alex, Cristina and on the two edges at the other end Henry and Teddy.

"The house looks wonderful Izzie." Meredith complimented on the decoration Izzie put up the whole day.

"Thank you. I tried my best, with the old stuff I could find." she replied looking around proudly.

"And Kepner, the turkey tastes lovely." Meredith meant after chewing it, and April blushed.

"You´re welcome. But you should try the potatoes. They are good." she handed over the bowl.

"And Henry? How long have you and Teddy been a couple?" Arizona asked sipping from her wine.

"Oh no we´re not..we are not together." Teddy stuttered blushing into a deep red. "We um...we´re just friends." she stated and Henry sighed disappointed while Arizona nodded.

"I think we should make a toast." Derek stood up and raised his glass with everyone´s eyes following him. "To us. To family, friends, to all the great surgeries we had this year and the battles we won." he meant with his eyes wandering from Meredith, to Mark, then to Bailey and last to Izzie. "I´m glad you all could come and that we can celebrate this evening together. Cheers." he continued followed by a cheers from everybody and glasses clinking.

"Yeah, what a great evening." Lexie murmured drunken and mad. When she put her wine glass down it slipped through her fingers and fell on the table breaking in dozens of pieces. "Damn it." she cursed and wanted to pick them up but cut her hand. "Ah!" she quickly pulled it away noticing blood running down her hand.

"Here let me help you." Jackson meant taking his napkin but Lexie pulled away.

"I´m fine." she almost screamed and now everybody noticed she had a few glasses too much. She stood up and went to the kitchen pressing her napkin on the wound. Jackson stood up to follow her and Mark wanted to but Callie held him back.

"No..let him go." she whispered while everybody was still distracted with Lexie´s disappearance.

 _Like I said the holidays are stressful and even if the parties are nice,_

 _some can´t cope well with stress._

 _But if you can also enjoy the little things in life,_

 _the quality time with your friends and family,_

 _the stress is worth it._

Lexie was holding her hand under could water, which splashed the pain and the blood away. She pressed her lips together but tried to hold her tears back down. However, a few found their way down her cheek.

"Are you alright?" Jackson asked behind her and Lexie inhaled with a shaky voice.

"Yes. I am. Go back and enjoy the food." she tried to not sob but failed.

"If I did anything wrong, just tell me." Jackson came closer but Lexie showed him with her good hand to stay where he was.

"Please. Jackson go! I´m fine." she got mad but he wouldn´t go away.

"Lexie, really. I´m here for you." he came on step closer when she suddenly turned off the water and turned around pressing a towel on her hand.

"Jackson!" she screamed and even the people in the living room could hear the following words clearly. "I don´t need your help. I don´t want your help. I. AM. FINE. And all you can do now is to turn around, go back to the table, finish your damn meal, and leave me alone." she shouted to make him clear. Her words hurt him a lot and everyone on the table was quiet and felt awkward. April put her head in her hands, rubbing her forehead, while Meredith continued chewing her food awkwardly.

"Okay. You know where to find me." Jackson meant underneath his breath and went back. Lexie leaned against the sink for a while before she took the tequila bottle she saw on the shelve and took it upstairs to sit down in Izzie´s and Alex´ old room trying to empty it.

 _And it´s also not about the presents you get,_

 _or how the tree is decorated,_

 _or much money you spent on wrapping paper._

 _Because a smile is sometimes worth more than a high end perfume._

 _Or just a good advice or to listen to someone´s problems._

"Thanks for coming." Derek and Meredith meant before closing the door after the last guest left.

"That was exhausting." Meredith brought the last bowls and plates to the kitchen followed by Derek.

"But wasn´t it fun?" he asked grinning.

"Hardly. With my sister having a meltdown, the mood went from up here to down there." Meredith explained showing it with her hands, when she put the dishes into the sink.

"Go. Go to Lexie and talk to her. I´ll finish here." Derek wrapped his arms around Meredith´s waist and they locked eyes.

"Okay. I´ll wait for you in bed then." she answered flirty and gave him a soft kiss, before pulling out of his hug and walking upstairs to the room Lexie sat.

"Hey. Are you okay?" she asked opening the door facing a total wreck, sitting on the floor with the bottle on her lips.

"I´m feeling much better now." Lexie admitted and made some space so Meredith could sit down next to her. "You want some?" she asked holding the tequila over to her sister who shook her head.

"No, thanks." she replied and they remained quiet for a while.

"You know, when I was a kid we celebrated Christmas very big." Lexie remembered. "The four of us. Dad, my mom, Molly and I. It was the best time of the year. And even when Molly and I were adults, we came together every year and celebrated it. Well, that stopped two years ago."

"When she died? Susan?" Meredith asked and Lexie nodded.

"I really wanted this night to be good. I missed Christmas with my family and friends. But...I ruined everything." Lexie started sobbing.

"No you didn´t. What would a good family event be, when not even one had a meltdown." Meredith comforted her sister who had to smile between her sobs.

"Was it only Mark´s appearance or is there anything else?" she eventually asked and Lexie sighed.

"I feel like I´m letting Jackson down." she admitted and Meredith arched her eyebrows.

"How? He looks like he´s totally in love with you." Meredith wondered and Lexie rubbed her forehead.

"We are a couple for about a month now and...and we haven´t...you know...been active yet." she tried to explain and Meredith nodded slowly as she understood what Lexie meant. "And I mean look at him. He´s hot and dreamy and he could have any girl, if he wants to. And yet, he´s stuck with me who always finds an excuse to not have sex."

"Why? I mean...Is there a reason or are you just afraid he would break your heart like Mark did?" Meredith wanted to know and Lexie shook her head.

"No...He´s a good guy. He would never hurt me this way. I just...I just don´t..." Lexie stuttered and her sobs got more. "I´m just not ready to let Mark go. I miss him. And I tell him every time to leave me alone, and to forget me, but the truth is...the truth is, I don´t want him to forget me." she tried and Meredith put her arm around her.

"Oh Lexie. I know, it´s not what you want to hear but, Jackson is great. Even Derek believes it now. And Mark. I mean yes there are a lot of things, that he was your first and that´s why you will never forget him. But he is starting a family. With two grown up women. You are a fetus, you´re only 24 and he´s 41. Maybe it´s better for you to stick with Jackson." Meredith explained her point of view.

"Maybe you´re right." Lexie looked at her with wet eyes. "Maybe I should just banish every memory he and I had ever mad,...everything that we went through."

 _And the thing with presents is that:_

 _Sometimes they are really useful, and you love them._

Derek was just about to go upstairs when he heard a knock at the door.

"Hm? Did anyone forget something?" He asked himself loudly when he went towards the door. His eyes couldn´t believe what they saw when he recognized his sister Amelia in front of him, looking like a mess with mascara all over her face and red, wet eyes.

"Amy?" he asked confused.

"Derek. Something terrible happened." she sobbed before falling in his arms, crying out loud.

 _However, sometimes you don´t want them._


	31. hurts like hell

**Hey guys please don´t hate me for the things that will happen in this chapter. I really wanted to make one with only sad parts (unless one happy part) and you should all know that everything will have a happy end. but for now this is a very sad part for most.  
**

 **hope you like it though**

 **Hurts like hell**

 _Grief._

 _It´s something normal nowadays._

 _But most people are afraid of it._

 _They are afraid about what would happen, so they´ll need to grief._

 _There are five stages of grief._

Lexie splashed water onto her face to wash away the dried tears. She looked into the mirror of the intern´s locker room as she dried her face with a paper towel.

"Lexie." she heard Jackson´s voice and saw his image in the mirror. "Are you coming home or will you stay here?" he asked and Lexie looked down at her hands. "You´ll stay." he sighed rubbing his forehead. Lexie looked up again and their eyes met over the mirror.

"It´s because of Mark isn´t it?" he asked not breaking their gaze and Lexie didn´t either. "Of course it is." he nodded feeling the anger coming up. "You know I am willing to give you your space and to wait until you´re ready though it is hard to have a girlfriend for almost two months without sex in all the time but it´s okay...because I...because I love you." he explained and Lexie´s eyes opened widely before she looked down again still not saying a word. "I love you Lexie. And I will give you all the time you need to get over Mark but...I want to know if you will ever get over him. And if it does make a sense for me to wait." Jackson finished and Lexie bit on her lips nervously. "Okay...Goodbye." he turned around and walked towards the door when Lexie also turned around.

"Wait!" she commanded, her voice sounding weak. Jackson faced her again rather surprised about her change of heart, when she came closer and kissed him softly on the lips.

"I´ll come with you." she meant after breaking the kiss and Jackson´s lips formed into a smile.

 _Denial._

 _We don´t want it to be true._

 _We hope that when something bad happened,_

 _it was just a joke and there comes a camera out of somewhere._

 _We want to believe the opposite._

"Mer? Are you alright?" Cristina asked laying in her friend´s bed while Meredith was staring at the ceiling not answering. "You know you can talk to me...whenever you want." she looked at the blonde woman who still wasn´t giving any sign. "Mer, I know it´s hard but-"

"You know nothing." Meredith replied with a shaky voice and tearful eyes. "I-I´m sorry I didn´t mean to-" Meredith excused her mean words against Cristina and wiped away a tear.

"No..no I understand. I´ve been through a similar situation, you remember?" Cristina didn´t feel offended and still tried to comfort her friend.

"Yes but...I don´t...I just don´t know why and how...why me and how did I deserve this?" she sobbed still staring at the ceiling. "What kind of humor does the universe have?"

"A remarkably bad one as we noticed." Cristina laid back on her back and also stared at the ceiling.

 _Anger._

 _We become angry with everyone around us, even if it´s not their fault._

 _We are blinded by the anger that gives us chills._

 _Everything that matters is to shout, and yell, and beat everything down_

 _We want to let the others feel our pain._

"Derek please calm down! You´re scaring me!" Amelia begged her big brother sitting on the floor in the attending´s locker room and crying while he walked up and down the room anxiously.

"No. No! It is your fault Amelia! Your fault!" he yelled at her pointing with his finger on his sister, which made her cry even more.

"Derek...please..." she whimpered with tears running down her cheek uncontrolled.

"No. I will never forgive you for this. I don´t want to see you ever again. You´re dead for me." he replied angry and with tears of anger and bitterness in his eyes. He stamped towards the door while Amelia tried to get on her knees and hold him back but she was to weak to do so.

"Derek no! Derek you are my brother!" she yelled after him but he already shut the door close and left his hysterical sister sitting there on the ground.

* * *

 **48 hours earlier**

Derek was just about to go upstairs when he heard a knock at the door.

"Hm? Did anyone forget something?" He asked himself loudly when he went towards the door. His eyes couldn´t believe what they saw when he recognized his sister Amelia in front of him, looking like a mess with mascara all over her face and red, wet eyes.

"Amy?" he asked confused.

"Derek. Something terrible happened." she sobbed before falling in his arms, crying out loud.

"Amy I...I don´t understand what..what happened?" he asked overwhelmed with his sister´s emotions. However, she couldn´t answer him when she hysterically sobbed and cried into his chest. Her screams were so loud that even Meredith heard them and went to the staircase to check if everything was okay.

"Amelia?" she asked confused and surprised about her being here. Amelia still didn´t answer, and just cried out loud.

"Derek is everything alright?" Meredith asked but he shrugged before he broke the hugged and pulled away so he could face her.

"Come here." he meant leading her to the couch. "Sit down and tell me exactly what happened." he meant and placed her and himself on the couch followed by Meredith who remained standing next to Amelia.

"It...It was an accident I didn´t mean to...We just wanted to come here because it´s Christmas...we wanted to spend the holidays here." Amelia sobbed breathing uncontrolled and irregularly.

"Who? Who wanted to come here?" Derek asked his hands on her shoulder and trying to get something out of her but she continued crying.

"I didn´t mean to drink it...I really didn´t. But it was Christmas party at the practice and I...I couldn´t resist. I thought...I thought one drink wouldn´t cause any troubles, but then I drank two and three...I know I shouldn´t have done it...I should have listened to mom." Amelia explained now slowly calming down.

"You drank alcohol?" Meredith asked shocked and Derek leaned back and pulled his hands away from his sister´s shoulders.

"Amy you are a drug addict. And you drank alcohol?" he asked not showing any sympathy. "What happened? Did you drive? Recklessly? Did you kill someone?"

"She meant she would drive, but I insisted. I should have listened but then there was a truck and I reacted to late. She was bleeding...heavily...she bled like..you know the saying like a stabbed pig...there was so much blood." Amelia started shaking while retelling the accident.

"Who? Who was bleeding?" Derek continued asking while Meredith felt awful about his behavior against his sister.

"Mom." Amelia pressed it out before starting crying again. Derek looked up from his sister to Meredith who held her hand in front of her mouth, shocked as well.

"Is she in the hospital?" Derek asked Amelia but she couldn´t answer because she cried so much. "Amelia!" he shouted, and even Meredith startled a bit when he shook her by her shoulders. Amelia nodded and Derek jumped off the couch and took his coat and keys.

"Meredith stay here, look after her and get her down from the alcohol." he ordered opening the door.

"Are you sure you can drive? You drank wine as well and you are not in the condition to drive." Meredith worried and went to him.

"No I´m not. That´s why I want you to stay here and not come with me. You also have your sister up there. It´s enough responsibility to have two drunk emotional wrecks here." Derek explained hurried.

"Okay, be safe." Meredith gave him a quick kiss before he left the house and drove to the hospital.

* * *

"The evening was nice." Henry meant when he stopped the car in front of Teddy´s apartment.

"It was yeah. I´m glad we decided to go there." she admitted packing her stuff together while Henry watched her nodding. He could no longer deny the feelings he had for his doctor.

"Teddy I need to tell-" he started to confess them when her phone rang.

"Uh, it´s Patrick. I´m gonna call him back later. Yeah?" she thought out loud and declined his call before looking Henry straight into his eyes.

"Um..who´s..who´s Patrick?" he wondered a bit confused.

"A guy I´ve been dating for a week, didn´t I tell you?" Teddy asked a bit shocked when Henry shook his head. "Oh my..sorry. Yeah he´s pretty okay. I kinda like him." she blushed thinking about it and Henry got anxious. "You wanted to tell me something?" she asked remembering what he said before the phone rang.

"Oh um..it´s nothing, it was just-" he started when Patrick called again.

"Oh um..you know what text me later, I think it´s urgent." she told him as she left the car. "Hello? Yeah sorry I was talking to a friend...Merry Christmas to you too." were the last words Henry heard before Teddy was out of sight.

"Your `friend´ wanted to tell you that he fell in love with you." he murmured quietly when he started the engine and drove away.

* * *

The hours went by and the sun rose up. Meredith was walking through the kitchen nervously while Jackson emptied his cup of coffee and got his jacket.

"I´m sure everything is fine. He just doesn´t call because he´s talking with her." he tried to comfort Meredith who was staring at the phone. She could barely sleep because she waited for a call from Derek.

"Yeah, I hope you´re right." she murmured not breaking the stare.

"Okay, I need to go now. If you want to I can check on them before-" Jackson offered when suddenly her phone rang and Meredith ran to it and picked up.

"Derek? Thank god...okay...okay that´s great. Yes...yes...no I don´t have a shift but I´ll come later for the ultra sound with Robbins...okay love you bye." she hung up and turned to Jackson. "She´s alright. Mrs. Shepherd is alright."

"See? Told ya." Jackson smiled and went to the door before he turned around again. "Um...can you tell Lexie that I´m sorry with...whatever I did wrong. I am just so confused with her lately it´s like her hormones are driving her wild."

"I will." Meredith assured and with a soft nod as thank-you Jackson left the house. Meredith washed her and Jackson´s cup before making some new coffee for Lexie, who she was sure would have a hangover, and Amelia who needed it for sure. Meredith could hear her future sister-in-law walking around the house the whole night. Eventually Amelia fell asleep on the couch but it took her very long.

"Was that Derek? Is my mother alright?" Amelia asked quietly when she suddenly appeared behind Meredith and startled her.

"Yeah. For now she´s stable. But she has a lot of damages and is under supervision." Meredith explained what Derek told her.

"Is she awake?" Amelia asked and Meredith looked at her a bit sorrowful and scared. "Meredith! Is my mother awake? Can she speak? Does she even react?"

"No...no she´s not awake. She was put into an artificial coma." Meredith admitted looking down at her hands.

* * *

Izzie was making waffles for breakfast in the kitchen of the small trailer, while Denny was sleeping peacefully in his bed and Alex was outside in the woods. The door to the trailer opened and Izzie heard steps and then a sigh as the person sat down.

"I made waffles for us today. I know how much you love waffles." she meant smiling looking at the waffle iron and not turning around.

"I prefer pancakes." the male voice admitted and Izzie froze startled when she noticed it was not Alex. But still, she recognized the voice.

"Denny." the woman turned around hoping she was wrong. "What are you doing here?" she wanted to know when she saw him sitting by the table looking the same as he did when she found out she was sick.

"I´m here for-" he wanted to say but Izzie showed him with her hand to stop.

"No. Don´t dare to say it." she threatened him underneath her breath. "I know it. You´re here for me." her eyes welled up because of the anger that was running through her veins. "But why are you here now. I was healed. The doctors told me I wouldn´t have any tumors in my body left and that the cancer was almost gone." Izzie´s voice got louder and harsher. However, Denny just looked at her with his eyes full of sorrow and pity.

"No. Don´t look at me that way! I´m healthy. I´m cured! I´m not sick, not again." Izzie yelled and Denny stood up and came closer, but Izzie stepped back.

"No. Don´t touch me! You are gone. You´re dead. I laid in your arms I know you´re dead. You left me! And you only came back to tell me I had an deadly illness. I don´t need your excuses or pity. I need to be free of you." Izzie yelled louder and started crying when suddenly her son also cried because he woke up from her talking. "Go away Denny! Let me be happy! Leave me alone!"

"Izzie!" Alex suddenly opened the door and she couldn´t see the hallucination anymore. "What happened why are you crying? And why´s Denny crying?" he worried and went to his son to take him in his arms.

"Nothing. I...I just burned my hand on the waffle iron." she meant wiping away her tears. "My scream woke him up I guess." she lied and quickly turned around and closed her eyes sighing. Alex wasn´t sure if he should believe her but cradled his child in his arms until he finally stopped crying.

* * *

A knock at the door woke Cristina up. With rolling eyes she stood up and put sweatpants on before leaving her bed.

"Whoever it is, you better have wine or breakfast with you, because if not you woke me senselessly." she told the person on the other side of the door walking towards the door. She opened it and her mouth dropped when she recognized Owen in front of her.

"I have bagels and coffee. I forgot the wine, sorry." he smiled and Cristina screamed happily when she threw herself onto him and kissed him passionately.

"Slowly or you spill the coffee." he chuckled when she left his lips and kissed his cheek before hugging him.

"What...what are you doing here?" she wanted to know when they entered the apartment.

"Well, they sent me home for Christmas and I asked to continue my duty from here." he explained.

"So you´re back? And you´ll stay?" Cristina asked excited and Owen nodded.

"Yes I´m back and I´ll stay." he said and she hugged him again screaming happily.

* * *

"Derek. Good morning." Teddy greeted her colleague when she entered the room of his mother. "Where you here the whole night?" she asked worried about him when she noticed his red tired eyes watching his mother every second.

"I didn´t dare to sleep." he meant and leaned back a bit in the chair still holding her hand.

"You can go sleep now. She´s stable and under my supervision. I´ll page you as soon as I notice any irregularities." Teddy assured but he shook his head.

"No I rather stay-" he wanted to answer but Mark cut him off.

"Derek?! What...what happened?!" Mark asked anxiously when he recognized Mrs. Shepherd in the bed.

"Mark...you shouldn´t be here right now." Derek didn´t want to stress his friend out, knowing how much his mother meant to him.

"Mark everything´s fine. She´s stable for now." Teddy held him back, when Meredith appeared behind them with Amelia and Lexie by her side.

"I should go." Lexie whispered when she noticed Mark´s eyes on her and left the doctors.

"Mark come with me. I´ll explain everything to you." Meredith offered and he looked back at Derek, who nodded.

"Okay." Mark stepped back and wanted to go with Meredith while Amelia came closer to her mother.

"No. I don´t want her inside here." Derek got angry again and startled his sister a bit.

"Derek. She´s your sister." Meredith tried to change his mind but he shook his head and repeated that he wouldn´t want to see her and Amelia´s eyes welled up.

"I know you don´t want to see me but this is my mother too. So I stay." she sat down on the other side of the bed and hold her mother´s hand, while Meredith and mark went somewhere else to talk.

* * *

"With whom are you today?" April asked Jackson when they stood by their lockers and looked at their phone.

"It says Shepherd but I´m sure this must be a mistake. You?" he meant scrolling down his mails.

"Robbins. Why is it a mistake? What is with Shepherd?" April wanted to know as she put her phone into the pocket of her coat and hung the stethoscope around her neck.

"His mother is here. Car accident." he told her doing the same she did.

"Oh no...that´s terrible." April sighed and they left the room. "Have you talked to Lexie? After last night, I mean?" she asked walking down the hallway with her best friend at her side.

"No. No, she slept in another room. She was...really drunk." he admitted and looked at his shoes embarrassed.

"Oh I´m sure it´s just a temporary something. She will be way better next week. You´ll see you two will have a long relationship." April tried to comfort him when Teddy came to them and stopped their conversation.

"Jackson on whose service are you today?" she asked and Jackson told her that it was Derek. "Good, you´re with me. Owen came back from Iraq and Cristina took the day off. I need you with Mrs. Shepherd today." Teddy meant rushed and showed him to come quickly and he ran with her after April nodded.

* * *

"Are you sure you have an appointment today? I couldn´t remember one." Alex asked Izzie when they stood outside the hospital.

"I am." Izzie lied. She knew her next appointment wasn´t within the next two weeks but she needed to check if there were any new tumors.

"Okay then I´ll bring you there." Alex meant walking towards the main entrance but Izzie remained standing.

"No..I mean yes but...you should start working again. Or you will lose your job. And I´m sure Robbins will need you today." Izzie tried to get rid of him.

"Um...are you sure?" he asked curious and Izzie nodded quickly.

"Yes. Oh and could you please take Denny and take care of him or bring him to the day care? I don´t want him to disturb the other cancer patients." Izzie asked and held the babysafe towards her fiancé.

"Yeah sure." he replied suspicious when he took his son.

"Thank you." Izzie gave him a quick kiss before she disappeared in the hospital.

"Why does mommy act so strange huh? " Alex asked the infant with a baby voice and made him chuckle a bit. "Okay then, daddy´ll bring you to the day care and then he will find some people to cut open..." he continued but looked around after that sentence. "You better won´t remember what I just said." he scoffed and went inside with the baby.

* * *

Teddy and Jackson went into Derek´s mother´s room and saw him and Amelia still sitting by her sides.

"Doctor Shepherd, doctor Shepherd." she greeted them and they looked up at her. "Doctor Avery and I are gonna operate your mother in 30 minutes. As the scans had shown she has a massive trauma in her chest both lungs and heart. She´s bleeding slightly into her chest but without opening her we can´t find out from where. We think it´s from her aorta but still we would need to open her to fix it. I ask you to leave the room now so we can prepare her for the surgery."

"Yeah, of course." Derek meant and Amelia nodded when they stood up and left the room.

"Derek I-" Amelia wanted to talk to her brother, to have his comfort and to just have him by her side during this time. However, Derek was furious and didn´t want to see his sister any longer than required. So he just went away not listening to her and left her standing in the hallway all by herself.

"Why didn´t you tell them, that the chance that she survives this are very low? They earn the right to know it." Jackson was almost angry about Teddy hiding this fact, when he whispered it to her while they were scrubbing in.

"At some point in your career you learn when it´s appropriate to tell the whole truth. These two were done, they need rest. Giving them bad news before a major surgery won´t give them any, right?" Teddy replied drying her hands.

"Unrealistic hopes neither." Jackson murmured.

"What was that?" Teddy asked harshly.

"Nothing." he quickly changed his mind a bit afraid of consequences.

"If you have a problem with how I work you can leave this o.r. right now." Teddy explained bossy and Jackson swallowed down his pride.

"I don´t have a problem with your work, doctor Altman." he assured her quietly.

"Good. Because I wanted you to make the patch." she said walking into the operating room and getting dressed up by a nurse followed by Jackson who made big eyes.

"Really?" he asked excited.

"I believe you´re as competent as Cristina, aren´t you?" she smiled at him with a wink.

* * *

Meredith wanted to take the elevator to get to the cafeteria but the doors slowly closed.

"Hold it!" she screamed as she ran towards it but nobody heard her and the elevator drove away. "Thank you." she rolled her eyes as she went to the staircase and started walking down the stairs.

"Today´s such a bad day." she thought out loud. "Derek´s mother is in a coma, Lexie is an emotional wreck, Derek won´t let Amelia to her mother and Cristina´s not here- ahh!" Meredith shouted when she slipped and fell down on her side.

"Ouch..." she slowly tried to stand up but her ankle hurt. "I need to get help." she searched for her phone. But when she finally found it and took it out of her pocket it slipped out of her hands and fell down the whole four floors and broke into a dozen of pieces.

"Damn it." Meredith cursed. "Thank you universe! Can it get even worse?...Help! Help!" she shouted but apparently nobody could hear her. "Help me please! Anybody?"

* * *

one or two hours later Alex went upstairs reading a medical journal while eating an apple when he kicked a piece of Meredith´s phone and looked down on it. He picked up the red phone case which he knew was Meredith´s.

"Hello?" Meredith´s voice started calling for help again when she heard the door close behind Alex. "Is there someone? I need help!" Alex let everything fall and ran upstairs pumped with shock and adrenaline.

"Meredith?!" he coughed when he reached her laying in the same position but crying. "Mer, is everything alright?"

"No, I slipped and twisted my ankle. I can´t stand up on my own." she explained and reached out her hand so Alex could help her. But all he did was standing still and staring at her. "Alex!" she screamed at him but he remained in that position.

"Mer, you´re bleeding." he meant and pointed on her pants.

"I know." her eyes welled up again. "So could you please help me up and bring me to Robbins?"

"Why are you bleeding?" Alex wanted to know coming closer worried.

"I´m pregnant. Was."

* * *

"Okay, Miss Grey I will now- Meredith!" April came into the room reading a chart but recognizing her friend when she looked up. "What are you doing here?"

"Could you please just do the ultra sound?" Meredith asked with a shaky voice and holding Alex´ hand.

"Um...okay...do you think you´re pregnant?" April asked happily and with her high pitched voice but Alex shook his head to show her to stop.

"Just do the ultra sound and tell me if there´s still a baby!" Meredith cried and tightened her grip around Alex´ hand. April started searching but raised her eyebrows and made a strange face after a few moments before paging Arizona.

"What is it? April tell me!" Meredith ordered but April wanted to wait for Robbins.

"I..I really think we should wait for doctor Robbins." she stuttered confused.

"Come on April. Say it." Alex forced the overwhelmed woman to talk.

"I..I...Meredith I..I´m so sorry." she began stuttering but shut her mouth when Meredith´s eyes welled up even more and her lips began shaking.

"Did I lose the baby?" Meredith asked after she inhaled deeply to calm down a bit.

"Oh my god Meredith.." Alex whispered shocked and put his other hand around hers.

"No..not exactly...you´re bleeding because...because you got your menstruation...you never were pregnant." April tried to make her clear but still stuttered anxiously.

"But...but I made a test.." Meredith leaned back into the patient´s bed and held her abdomen.

"Maybe because of the hormones you took for getting pregnant the test was wrong.." April thought out loud.

"April are you serious?" Alex asked with an angry undertone. He really felt bad for his friend. Though he had a fiancé and a child, it felt like he was now responsible for Meredith.

"So, Meredith, Derek..oh...Alex. I´m sorry for being late...April paged me to tell-...What´s wrong?" Arizona entered the room and was kind of confused bout the mood in it.

"April already told us." Alex meant still holding Meredith´s hand while she looked at her´s on her belly.

"But...April I told you to wait for me." Arizona turned to her resident a bit mad that she didn´t wait for her attending.

"I´m sorry I-" the resident wanted to excuse herself when Meredith cut her off.

"We forced her to say it...it´s not her fault...So what are the plans for now?" she wanted to know in a monotone, huskily tone.

"First of all I´m so sorry for you...I think you should talk to your o.b. but in my opinion you should stop taking the hormones so your body can revitalize from it." Arizona advised her and Meredith nodded.

"May I go?" April asked shyly and Arizona nodded.

"I think we both should go now. I´m deeply sorry for this." the doctor meant before the two of them left the room.

"Thank you." Alex said to them before they were outside and closed the door. "Should I drive you home?"

"No thanks. You´ve done enough. I´ll wait for Derek." Meredith meant still looking at her hands and her voice sounding the same.

* * *

"Avery be careful. This is very risky." Teddy watched him and gave him advice.

"I´ll try if you wouldn´t stress me out like that." he replied harshly and Teddy backed off. "I´m placing the patch on the leak and...here it is...the bleeding stopped."

"Great, Avery. You have the hands of your grandfather." Teddy mentioned admiring the calm fingers of the second year resident.

"Thank you. Though I don´t like to be compared to- oh no!" he suddenly stopped mid-sentence and gasped. "The leak it got wider." he stared into the open chest frozen by the anxiousness.

"What are you doing now?" Teddy asked as teaching method. Cristina always got better with these.

"I...I...um...I need gazes and..suction!" he remembered and Teddy nodded smiling under her surgical mask. "The bleeding won´t stop." he explained stressed when suddenly the blood pressure sank.

"Avery you need to do something." Teddy also got scared now watching the monitor.

"I know!" he almost yelled at her. "More suction, I can´t see anything."

"Cardiac arrest!" the o.r. nurse said as soon as the monitor showed a flat line and a high , continuous noise.

"Avery!" Teddy urged him but he repeated that he knows what to do. "Charge the paddles." she whispered to the o.r. nurse who did as commanded.

"Avery we need to reanimate her." Teddy wanted to put some surgical towels into the chest but Jackson stopped her. "Doctor Avery leave the table! Now!" she ordered with a harsh tone. After exhaling deeply he did as commanded and Teddy started the reanimation and took the paddles.

"Charge to 20!" she order placing them on the heart. "Clear!"

* * *

Teddy and Jackson left the o.r. and went to the attending´s locker room where, so they´ve been told, Derek and Amelia were waiting. As soon as they entered the room the siblings stood up from the couch and the chair they were sitting on and came closer.

"Your mother´s damage was bigger than we thought. Doctor Avery tried to close the leak with a patch but it wouldn´t hold and the leak got bigger. We did everything we could possibly do, but unfortunately your mother didn´t make it. She was dead before we could reanimate her." Teddy retold them what happened while Jackson looked down on his hands feeling guilty and ashamed.

"You killed our mother?" Amelia asked slowly understanding and looked towards Jackson.

"It was not his fault. There was no way your mother would have possibly survived that." Teddy defended the resident who thought didn´t deserve that defense. Amelia now realized what that meant and started breathing irregularly stepping back until she hit the wall and slipped onto the floor.

"Thank you. Doctor Altman, doctor Avery." Derek tried to control his feelings but couldn´t deny that he had tears in his eyes. Teddy nodded and left them together with Jackson who had to cry too. Derek stroke through his hair with his hands and pressed his lips together. He was more angry than sad. Angry with Amelia and with himself. And he got even angrier when he heard the loud cries of his sister.

"It is all your fault!" he yelled at her and made her look up rather startled.

"What?" she asked confused and sobbing.

"It is your fault! She´s dead because of you! You did that!" Derek started walking up and down.

"Derek please calm down! You´re scaring me!" Amelia begged her big brother.

"No. No! It is your fault Amelia! Your fault!" he yelled at her pointing with his finger on his sister, which made her cry even more.

* * *

"Should I give you a drive home now?" Alex asked Meredith who was sitting on a bench by the entrance.

"No. I´m still waiting for Derek." Meredith stared into empty space, her eyes glassy and her cheeks matte of the dried tears.

"Haven´t you heard?" Alex asked an Meredith looked up. She´s been sitting here the whole day and kept herself out of anything going on in the hospital.

"His mother died 4 hours ago. He wants to stay here and do the paper work and calls." Alex explained and Meredith closed her eyes sighing.

"Okay. Drive me home." she meant huskily and Alex helped her up and guided her to his car.

"What´s with Izzie?" Meredith asked.

"The educators in the day care meant she left the hospital with Denny with a cab. I´m sure she´s home." Alex remembered his fiancé´s whereabouts.

Minutes that felt like an eternity later, Meredith and Alex arrived at her house and she opened her seat belt.

"You want me to stay?" Alex asked remaining sitting when his friend shook her head.

"No. Go to your family. " Meredith pressed out of her lips and went inside calling Cristina immediately.

* * *

"No don´t answer." Owen meant when Cristina broke the kiss when her phone rang.

"But if it´s a multi trauma or something spectacular?" she grinned and he kissed her again before stopping and looking her deeply in the eyes.

"Then there will be patients left for your shift tomorrow." he smiled and so did she. They spent the whole day in bed, kissing passionately, having sex and celebrating his return. However, when her phone rang again she looked at it and saw Meredith´s name on the display.

"It´s Mer." she looked up and met Owen´s eyes.

"It´s okay go. In fact I am a bit tired after today." he comforted her to support her friend. Cristina gave him a quick kiss and put on a sweatshirt and a jeans before driving to Meredith.

* * *

"Izzie?" Alex opened the door to the trailer confused that there was no light on and the Christmas decoration that was still hanging wasn´t blinking. "Are you asleep?" he went to the little alcove where the bed stood. But when he noticed it was empty he turned on the lights and saw that not only her stuff but also Denny´s bed and his clothes and so on were gone. Looking around he noticed a letter on the bed. Feeling sick to his stomach he opened it and started reading.

Dear Alex, I know this is the wrong way to do it. I know that I am a terrible person. But I just want to protect you from feeling more grief and hurt. Please understand, I had to go. I will continue my treatments somewhere else. I´m sorry Alex. Love, Izzie. While reading it he sat down on the bed and rubbed his forehead.

"Love, Izzie." he read loud before putting the letter down and letting his eyes wander around. "She´s gone."

 _Bargain._

 _We beg and plead to god and doctors and everyone else,_

 _that it´s just a bad dream. A nightmare._

 _We would give up everything in exchange for one more day,_

 _one more minute, just a single second more._

Lexie was walking by the resident´s locker room when she heard cries coming out of it. She slowly opened the door and faced her boyfriend hitting with his palm against his locker, talking to himself.

"Jackson? Are you okay?" she asked comforting and came closer a bit.

"Lexie!" he gasped when he noticed her and came to her hugging her heavily.

"It´s okay...what happened?" she meant during the hug and him crying into her shoulder.

"Mrs. Shepherd...I killed her. I made a mistake. She´s dead." he admitted and Lexie´s eyes widened still in the hug.

"Oh my god." she whispered shocked thinking about how Derek and Amelia were feeling. "It´s okay. We all lose patients. It was not your fault. I´m Teddy couldn´t have saved her either."

"I feel so guilty." Jackson eventually broke the hug and sat down on the bench.

"You don´t have to. That could have happened to anybody." Lexie sat down next to him and placed her hand on his shoulder trying to spend some comfort.

"Shepherd will hate me. I killed his mother." Jackson sobbed and Lexie sighed. Suddenly she remembered what Mark told her once and how he reacted the previous morning when he saw her. Derek´s mother was like a mother to him too. He spent most of his childhood at their house. As much as she wanted to stay with her boyfriend and spend time with him she was more worried about Mark. Lexie knew she shouldn´t search for her ex but something told her she had to.

"I...Jackson I need to go now..I..I have a patient. You´re okay?" she lied and left him there all alone after he nodded. She asked every nurse she saw if they saw Mark but none of them had an answer.

 _Depression._

 _When the anger becomes too hard and the bargaining is senseless,_

 _we fall into depression and despair._

 _We wish we could have been the one that was hurt._

 _We don´t want to continue our lives without them._

 _Until we eventually come to..._

Lexie was still wandering through the hospital to find her ex boyfriend when she stopped by the door to the staircase and saw him sitting on the stairs crying into his hands.

"Mark.." she meant when she opened the door and he looked up with red and wet eyes, before quickly looking down at his hands again. "I searched through the whole hospital for you."

"Lexie...you don´t have to do this. I know you hate me." he sobbed and Lexie shook her head coming closer.

"I don´hate you." she assured him as she sat down next to him and took his hands.

"She was like my own mother. She was there for me...gave me food and a bed when I needed it." he explained with a huge lump in his throat.

"I know...come here." Lexie pulled his head on her lap so she could stroke his hair.

"What are you doing?" Mark asked unsure about her actions but still enjoying her company.

"I´m stroking your hair because,..because that´s what I´d like to have done for me when I´m hurt." she explained and smiled when Mark closed his eyes and exhaled relaxed. After a short break his eyes welled up again and he continued to retell his childhood.

"When my parents where out again I switched on every light and TV in our house, so I wouldn´t feel alone...she changed it...Mrs. Shepherd made me feel loved and like I´m not alone.." he meant with a shaky voice and Lexie sighed sorrowful.

"Mark...I´m so so sorry.." she really desperately wanted to give him a good hug or kiss but she couldn´t. Her feelings for Jackson and for Mark were out of control.

"Where´s Jackson? Why aren´t you with him?" Mark wanted to know after a moment of silence.

"You are more important right now...you lost your mother figure.." Lexie answered him feeling a bit bad that she wasn´t with him.

"He lost a patient.." Mark replied but had to smirk a bit at her answer.

"We do every day." she tried to not only make him but herself feel better with these excuses. They again didn´t speak for a moment when a chuckle from Mark´s side interrupted it.

"What is so funny." Lexie asked curious and Mark sighed smiling again.

"I just thought about that one day in my past...I put Derek´s frog into the microwave, and she caught me." he explained and Lexie´s eyes widened.

"Mark! You tried to kill his frog?" she asked shocked but smiling.

"I never pressed start." he defended himself and sat up to look into her eyes.

"You´re a monster." Lexie whispered sarcastically and Mark scoffed.

"I was young and dumb." he meant intensifying their gaze.

"You are dumb now too." she meant breaking the gaze before she would do something she would regret. Mark nodded knowing what she felt and for another moment you could only hear their breath.

"I still love you Lex. I tried not to be but I am." Mark again, was the first on to talk and Lexie looked up and straight into his eyes.

"Mark I..Jackson he...I have a boyfriend." she stuttered feeling again uncomfortable with the situation.

"I know...I´m saying you could have a husband." he replied seriously and Lexie sighed tilting her head to the side looking hurt and full of sorrow and confusion. "I´m sorry..I..maybe I´m just too emotional to think clear right now..I..I should go.." he stood up and pulled away his hand which Lexie still had in her´s without noticing.

"Mark.." she tried to stop him quietly but he didn´t react and left the staircase.

… _.Acceptance._

 _We can finally let go, be free, and don´t let the grief define us._

 _We know we have done everything and couldn´t do more._

 _We finally left the chapter behind us but..._

"Yes but...I don´t...I just don´t know why and how...why me and how did I deserve this?" she sobbed still staring at the ceiling. "What kind of humor does the universe have?"

"A remarkably bad one as we noticed." Cristina laid back on her back and also stared at the ceiling. They stared there for an eternity when a knock at the door tore them out of their thoughts.

"Alex?" Meredith asked confused when he suddenly stood in her room. "What are you doing here?" she wondered noticing his glassy eyes.

"The key´s still under the door mat." Alex meant looking down at the floor.

"Yeah but why are you here?" Meredith sat up curious about his visit.

"Izzie she...she left me..." he stuttered crossing his arms over his chest and Cristina´s mouth dropped. "She...she left a note and took everything with her. She took Denny." Meredith and Cristina stared at the man who was shivering of anger and pain. Instinctively the women made space for him in bed and Alex laid down next to them.

"And what are we doing now?" he asked sobbing when they continued staring at the ceiling.

"Staring at the ceiling. What else?" Meredith replied taking his hand to give him the comfort he needed.

… _.how do we open the next?_


	32. Guts over fear

**hey guys!**

 **I am so so sorry for not updating for so long. I just really have a lot to do with school and stuff. I just hope I will find more inspiration after what happens at the end of this chapter. More about the contest will come in the next one.**

 **i hope you enjoy the chapter though its´not so good as I wanted it to be.**

 **love ya´ll**

Guts over fear  


 _Fear._

 _Fear of the unknown._

 _Fear of what happens when you lose control._

 _The fear of the future._

Another flood of quitting ran through the hospital. Nobody was save since even some of the best doctors were cut because of budget cutbacks. The whole week every doctor was shivering when they were called to the chiefs office, though he may just needed information about patients or how the unit was going. The only one sure to be safe was Meredith. She knew she was like a daughter to doctor Webber and after destroying her childhood by separating her parents he owned her. But still she startled a bit when she got a page to his office.  
"You paged me doctor Webber?" She asked knocking at the opened door to Richards office.  
"Yes please sit down." The gray man pointed on the chair in front of him and sat down on the opposite one behind his desk.  
"Is it about the quitting flood?" She asked to reassure that she's not here to be canceled.  
"No. No it's about your fiancé. Derek." Webber explained what he wanted to talk about and Meredith sighed a bit relieved. "Is he still at home?" He wanted to know and Meredith nodded Remembering how he looked this morning. Unshaved, tired eyes and sitting on the couch for the last seven days like a pitiful piece of shit.  
"When will he come back?" The chief continued asking and Meredith shrugged really not sure what Derek has planed.  
"He just lost his mother. In the hospital he's working. I am not sure if he will come back any time soon." She meant trying to defend his actions though she wasn't happy about them either.  
"I know he's mourning but we need our best neuro surgeon back. He left back a lot of hopeless cases doctor Nelson won't dare to operate." Webber tried to make his favorite resident understand.  
"I'll talk to him. I'll make sure he will come back as soon as possible." Meredith assured him before standing up after a nod from the chief and leaving his office to continue her work.

 _All we want to be is safe._

 _We don´t want to risk anything without knowing where it will lead._

 _We are afraid it´ll turn out bad and that we can´t undo it._

"Good morning!" Jackson, who sat by the kitchen table greeted Lexie who rushed down the stairs and put on her jacket. "You want some coffee?" he asked pointing on the second cup standing next to him.

"That´s so nice but I can´t I´m already too late." she answered in a rush, somehow putting on her shoes. Lexie walked over to Jackson to give him a goodbye kiss which he replied happily and then left the house. Sighing, Jackson stood up and put the cups into the sink when suddenly Derek appeared in the kitchen, his hair messier than ever and his face in a grumpy frown.

"Good morning." the resident meant with a smile but all he got back was a deep grumbling. Raising his eyebrows, Jackson watched Derek taking a box of lucky charms and sitting on the couch in front of the TV.

"Shall I drive you to the hospital?" Jackson tried again to make the attending talk, but Derek ignored him completely.

"Is Meredith here?" Alex, who obviously had a key because he opened the front door and stepped into the house, asked also in a rush.

"No she´s already at work." Jackson was a bit confused by all people being stressed. Meredith also seemed kind of stressed out.

"Then why aren´t you?" Alex wondered causing even more confusion on Jackson´s side.

"Why? My shift starts in 3 hours or so." he replied but Alex´ face didn´t change.

"Dude, haven´t you heard?" Alex asked shocked and Jackson just furrowed his eyebrows. "The chief is firing people again. Everybody needs to show themselves from their best sides. AND there´s a contest the attending do. And if you´re lucky they´ll choose you as their helping hand. Now come!" Alex explained hurried and as soon as Jackson registered what that meant he took his jacket and ran to Alex´ car.

 _We play it safe._

 _But sometimes we have to risk something._

 _We need to take a step further than we want, if we want to achieve something._

 _We need to overcome the fear that holds us back._

The interns and residents were gathering the lobby to find out if they had been chosen by an attending to take part in the contest.

"I am as good as saved for Teddy. Did you hear something from McDreamy?" Cristina whispered to Meredith while some not interesting doctors announced their picks.

"McDreamy is being McDreary. He doesn´t talk, he doesn´t shower. All he does is sitting on the couch or in bed drinking beer and eating cereals." Meredith explained to her best friend with a disgusted face.

"Uh gross. Well, my doctor G.I. Joe is even more charming than before he left." Cristina smirked looking to Owen who stood by the other doctors and also stared back at her. "And lustier I think." Meredith noticed Cristina getting hungry for Owen´s attention and furrowed her eyebrows not less disgusted than before.

"Uh..gross." she replied when she turned her head and saw Alex and Jackson walking past their colleagues to join them.

"Where have you been?" she wondered whispering harshly.

"Mister blue-eyes was late." Alex pointed on Jackson who put the stethoscope around his neck.

"Hey I didn´t know about all this." Jackson defended himself and suddenly April appeared next to them looking rather shocked.

"How could you not know about this. I´ve been excited for this since we came here." she explained smiling widely, hoping that somebody says her name. "Hey Meredith. How´s Derek? Still moody?" she asked and Meredith nodded watching her sister also joining the group, greeting them with a smile.

"Does anyone know how doctor Sloan is? Lexie?" April leaned forward to catch a look at Lexie who clearly didn´t expect the question.

"He´s good. Better than Derek at least." Lexie answered looking to her and feeling Jackson´s gaze on her. "Well, who knows. At least he competes." she blushed feeling sweaty and hungry. "It´s hot in here isn´t it?" she waved some cold air to her face with her hand, looking around as if the sun was directly above her.

"I think it´s pretty normal." Meredith replied raising her eyebrows wondering. But Lexie continued cooling down looking around when she saw Alex eating a peanutbutter-cup.

"Oh my god you have something to eat? Give me one!" Lexie ordered begging to everybody´s surprise.

"No their my breakfast." Alex didn´t want to share his chocolate with anybody but Lexie walked over to him and tore his lab coat to reach one. "No! Lexie!" he tried to defend his chocolate and their little fight pulled some attention to them.

"Is everything okay over there?" Webber stepped a few stairs higher to make eye contact while Cristina and Meredith hid their faces embarrassed.

"Yep everything´s fine." Lexie replied when she got a peanutbutter-cup and went back to the spot she was before and the doctor´s continued picking out residents.

"Lexie, are you okay?" Meredith wondered about her kid sisters behavior.

"I´m fine." she answered, her mouth full with chocolate.

* * *

The residents and interns that were chosen followed their attending surgeon to the specific unit, waiting for an order. Of course they picked their favorites so Alex was with Arizona, Teddy with Cristina, surprisingly April with Owen, Meredith with Bailey and Jackson, who wasn´t happy about that at all, was picked by Mark. Lexie remained without an attending, which she was thankful for because she wanted to concentrate on learning for the test the interns have at the end of the year to start residency, and also she was feeling unwell the past few weeks.

"Alex, I´m so glad you are ready to save little humans lives. Since I am becoming a mother on my own I now know how valuable a little one´s life is and I am happy to have you in my team. By the way how´s your son? Is he getting stronger?" Arizona greeted Alex properly when they arrived the the pediatric unit. Alex swallowed down the lump in his throat as she mentioned Denny.

"He´s good. Yeah." he responded quickly and Arizona for his luck didn´t want to know more. "So what are we working on?"

"You know that the death rate for women in labor in Europe is way smaller than here in the U.S.? The reason is preeclampsia and I want to find out why American women are way more affected than women in any other country. So are you in?" the attending smiled at him with her typical bright smile. "Alex? Have you listened to what I said?"

"Uhh...I´m sorry yeah I´m in. I...would you excuse me for a minute?" he asked for her permission to go eager to make a phone call.

"Are you okay?" the blond woman lost her sunshine-smile and looked at him with worried eyes.

"Yes, yes. I am...I am fine I just...really need to call someone." he tried to avoid a conversation about his feelings and after a quick, unsure nod from Arizona´s side he left to find a quiet place.

* * *

Lexie quickly hid in the supply room fishing a chocolate bar out of her pocket.  
"I'm so stressed out right now." She thought out loud. "Where are these stupid things?" She searched through the shelves looking for some supplies, as she noticed the box she needed on the other side. Focusing on what she needed she walked towards it not noticing that Alex opened the door and hid behind a shelve also not seeing his colleague. But as soon as he started swearing and typing something on his phone Lexie remained silent and standing to listen to what he was saying.  
"Damn it Iz. Pick up...hey it's Alex again. Can you please call me back? I'm worried I don't know what I have done that you ran away. Please Iz, I love you. Come back to me." He meant his voice getting shakier as his eyes welled up. After he hang up and put the phone back into his pocket Lexie watched him shielding his face with his hands and crying into them as he slipped down the wall and sat down on the floor. She wasn't sure what to do. Of course she wanted to comfort him but on the other hand she didn't want him to think that she was listening to the call on purpose.  
"Are you okay?" Lexie finally gathered her words and showed up in front of him.  
"What..? Were you here the whole time? Where you listening to what I said?" Alex asked confused and mad as he faced the intern with his red swollen eyes.  
"I didn't mean to. I was searching for something and then...I'm sorry I didn't know about Izzie." Lexie put her hand on his knee as she knelt down in front of him.  
"I don't want to talk about it." He put his head on one hand as a support when he noticed a pregnancy test in Lexie's other hand.  
"I see you found what you needed. Does Jackson know?" He looked up to her again and after a short moment of confusion Lexie hid the small package in her palm.  
"I'm not gonna tell if you're not gonna do." She offered holding her hand towards him for a handshake.  
"Deal." Alex replied shaking her hand and watching her putting the test into her lab coat pocket and leaving the room.

* * *

"Cristina, I have a perfect idea for the contest but you need to do some research." Teddy walked down the hallway rather quickly followed by Cristina who was eager to know what her plans were.

"Anything you want." she replied not hesitating but willing.

"Please read all articles about the hypoplastic left heart syndrome, neonatal surgery, heart transplantation on infants, and if you can find anything about a transplantation on a fetus in the mother´s uterus, without giving birth to him, that would be great." Teddy ordered while Cristina noted everything on a post it.

"Wait...what are you going to do?" she asked confused rereading what she wrote down.

"Change the world." Teddy looked at her smiling proudly as she entered the cardio-thoracic unit.

* * *

"Hey..." Meredith was on her phone talking to Derek who was still in the same position as when Jackson left the house."I wanted to ask if you want to compete at this contest. All doctors do." she bit on her lip nervously as she awaited any sign of him showing interests in going back to work again. "See, I am with Bailey and we are doing some pretty cool stuff. You can also try something new. You could sign in with your Alzheimer´s study." she sighed when a long sigh was to hear on the other end. "Derek I know you´re mourning. But you know that the hospital is quitting people again. And I don´t want you to lose your job." she explained thoughtful.

"Would you still love me if I wasn´t a surgeon?" Derek asked the love of his life and after a moment of hesitation, Meredith knew the answer.

"No. Because I couldn´t love a man, that doesn´t love himself enough to embrace himself as what he is. A damn perfect neuro god." she replied with a hint of a smile on her face as she heard a sigh that was more delightful and happier than before. "I love you Derek, but I gotta go. I´ll see you tonight." she hung up after him saying back that he loves her and ran to the general unit to find out what Bailey had in store for the contest.

* * *

"Doctor Avery. Nice to finally be working with you." Mark greeted Jackson who wasn´t that happy about his attending. "You know, I knew you would be the perfect choice for the plastic posse since I´ve seen you the first time. Those eyes can´t be in another unit." Mark tried to win him over, but Jackson of course didn´t want to spend so much time with the ex of his girlfriend for who she was still having feelings.

"Actually I wanted to tell you that I don´t want to take-" the resident wanted to tell the attending that he didn´t want to compete, but Mark cut him off.

"Come here...follow me...I´ll show you what I´m working on." he guided him to a quiet lab room where some microscopes and stuff were standing. Mark took a small petri dish and showed Jackson.

"What´s this?" he asked still not impressed by all the plastic surgery stuff.

"That, doctor Avery, is spray on skin." Mark pointed on it smirking proudly.

"Skin? To spray on?" Jackson asked unable to believe and Mark nodded smiling like a little child that just got a cookie. "That...that is incredible...it could change everything in the reconstructive medicine." Jackson was really excited now and looked closer at the example.

"I know." Mark acted all cool but he wasn´t less excited than the resident. "Still want to leave the plastic posse?" he smirked when Jackson looked up his blue eyes shining, seeing all the opportunities.

"Are you kidding? This is amazing!" he reassured Mark who raised his hand for a high five.

"Then we are partners now. High five!" he ordered and Jackson gave him a fist bump on his flat hand. "Well, that´s something we still have to work on but great."

* * *

"Doctor Hunt, I did all the research you´ve asked for but...I still don´t know what we´re working on." April meant when she put a handful of books on the counter of the e.r. where Owen was sitting and checking something on the computer.

"Be patient doctor Kepner. Be patient. Can you be patient?" he asked and looking up at her at the last phrase.

"Uhm...well, you know when I was a little child and wanted to go for a walk with my favorite pig Ms. Piggie my father said I would have to wait until it stopped raining. And I was patient until the sun came out and I could go for a walk." April remembered with Owen´s confused and not interested gaze on her.

"What a lovely story. Do you know if Cristina´s in the library?" Owen asked letting April feel a bit stupid.

"Uhm, yes I saw her there why?" April replied stuttering and watched Owen standing up and walking around the counter towards the exit.

"Because I am inpatient." he explained smirking though April didn´t understand what he meant but he was sure Cristina did.

* * *

Callie and Arizona were sitting in the exam room of their ob excited to see the next ultra sound of the baby. Callie already started showing a showing a bit. And was more than just happy to share this experience with her girlfriend.  
"Doctor Torres, Doctor Sl- oh doctor Robbins. What a surprise. Last time there was a man." The ob entered the room greeting them rather surprised by Arizona's appearance.  
"Hey sorry I'm late." Mark quickly sneaked into the room confusing the doctor even more as he came to a stop at the other side of Callie. The trio was smiling at her as Callie pointed on each of her supporters eye-rolling.  
"Lesbian girlfriend. Baby daddy." She explained followed by a quick unsure nod from her doctor before starting the examination.  
"I assume everyone wants a picture right?" She asked printing out the ultra sound looking at all three that were smiling at the screen.

* * *

Lexie looked around the hallway if her sister or anyone she knew personally was watching her before she went into the ladies restroom to eventually take the pregnancy test. She was still looking on the outside of the room and didn´t notice that Meredith was standing by the sink washing her hands.

"Lexie?" she asked confused about her sister´s behavior, again.

"Oh my god, Meredith!" she was startled by her sister´s appearance. "I didn´t think you were here."

"On the toilet?" the older one asked drying her hands with a paper towel. "What is wrong with you? You seem so absent lately." Meredith worried but Lexie just shook her head as if nothing was going on.

"I´m fine, you know what I...I just come back later. In fact I don´t have to pee anymore. I don´t remember why I even came here." Lexie faked a giggle walking backwards and opening the door again.

"Don´t you have a photographic memory?" Meredith, who has already finished drying and disinfect her hands looked at her suspiciously and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Right. I do. Um..you know I think I just heard the saying my name outside. But it was nice to see you." she meant continuously walking backwards until she finally stepped outside and walked away.

* * *

Owen entered the library, where he saw Cristina sitting by a table with a bunch of books. His cheeks turned red the moment he saw her, not to mention what he felt below the belt. He walked up to her and she recognized him immediately when she smelled his masculine scent and felt his warm breath on her neck.

"What are you studying?" he asked playing with her hair and moving his mouth only millimeters above her skin which sent shivers down her spine.

"I´m searching for Teddy´s project for the contest." she almost moaned at his touch.

"What is she working on?" Owen tried to keep the volume down but she had to giggle when he touch a part on her neck she was sensitive on.

"I can´t tell you. That´s against the rules." she smiled blushing when suddenly they heard the librarian hush them down.

"Is there an on-call room nearby." Owen whispered into Cristina´s ear.

"It is." she jumped up leaving everything behind as it was and they both went out of the library. They walked down the hallway kissing and already ripping at each other´s scrubs. They couldn´t hold t any longer when the on-call room door was closed behind them and they threw themselves onto the sheets wanting more of each other´s bodies. They were in the middle of their doing when Alex entered the room talking on Izzie´s voice mail again, and turned on the light.

"Oh my god!" Cristina meant shocked and pulled a blanket over their bodies when Alex looked at them not less shocked and disgusted. He hung up running out of the room and closing the door again.

"Consider to lock it the next time." he advised them and only heard Cristina´s giggle as a reply before he walked away still disgusted.

 _Fear is nothing to be ashamed of._

 _We can be afraid that nothing will come back to the old._

 _That the future won´t look like we wanted it to look._

 _Fear is a common feeling._

The day was coming to an end and so did the doctor´s shifts. It was already 8 pm when Meredith arrived at her house, expecting Derek still sitting on the couch and doing nothing or in bed and doing nothing. But she was rather surprised when she opened the front door and the living room and kitchen were cleaned and no fiancé was in sight. She went upstairs to their bedroom opening the door, not expecting what she saw.

"Derek. You´ve shaved your beard." Meredith acknowledged as soon as she saw him sitting in the bed with a good book in his hands.

"Yes, I guess you finally convinced me that hiding on the couch with a beer is not the solution I was searching for. Work is." He explained and made her smile with his little compliment.

"I´m glad you feel better again." she put her lips on on his and his hand cupped her cheek as he let them stay there longer.

"I´m just gonna get a quick shower and then I´ll come to you." Meredith meant as she finally let go of his lips.

"I´ll be here waiting." Derek replied with a grin, Meredith knew just too good. That smirk meant he wanted sex and she was more than willing to give that to him.

"I hope so." she meant flirty, only her head looking out of the bathroom, before she closed the door. After Meredith´s quick shower she brushed her teeth for some fresh breath. As she opened the little wall cupboard above the sink to take some facial cream, she noticed her hormones still being placed there like one week ago when she stopped taking them. She still couldn´t tell Derek about her phantom pregnancy, with all she had to cope with all he had to cope with the past days, she didn´t want him to feel more pain. But now that he felt better, she decided to throw the hormones away and maybe talk about it at some point. So she took all the packages and injections she had to take the past four months to get pregnant and threw them into the rubbish.

"I´ll tell him after sex." she thought out loud, as she didn´t want to destroy his good mood.

 _What we shouldn´t do is hiding our fear._

 _To push it down every time we feel it coming up again._

 _We need someone trustworthy to talk to._

 _Or we can never overcome our fears._

"Meredith, why are your hormones in the dumpster?" Derek asked holding a package of them in his hand when he came from to bathroom to the bedroom where his fiancé was already lying in bed finding some rest after their amazing sex.  
"The ob said you should take them in the first trimester." He was confused as Meredith told him to sit down. She was happy that Derek was eventually getting better after his mother's death and didn't want to tell him the bed news already but she had to, now that he found out she threw all the hormones away.  
"When I had the ultra sound with Arizona I was pretty sure to bring home a picture for you. But as it turned out..." she started but her voice broke down as she saw tears in Derek's eyes.  
"I never was pregnant. I was a phantom pregnancy. My body thought I was already pregnant and...Because I was too afraid to get bad news and never went to an ultra sound we found out now." She continued and Derek sighed at the end. "I'm so sorry." She finally let some tears roll down her face as Derek came closer and hugged her tightly.  
"Don't be. It's not your fault. We can try it again. Without those hormones." He comforted her trying to stay strong as she couldn't be the strong one this time.  
"I really wanted to give you a child." She sobbed into his arms as he tightened the hug even more.  
"Meredith, look at me." He asked her as he lifted up her chin so her eyes met his. "It's okay. I'm not mad or anything. It's okay." He kissed her lips softly before she put her head on his chest again and continued sobbing until she eventually got silent and Derek cradled her in the hug.

 _But no matter what happens next you will never be fearless._

 _You hope you won´t be but that´s a lie._

 _Life consists out of challenges. We couldn´t survive without them._

 _Fear is constant and forever._

"Hey...Hey what´s wrong?" Mark saw Lexie sitting on a bench in the lobby crying into her hands and immediately walked towards her. "Oh my god...did Webber fire you? That´s...I´m gonna go to him and tell him, that you are the best intern I´ve ever seen. He can´t fire you."

"No..No it´s not that..it´s...please Mark can you go?" Lexie looked up a bit so she could talk better. Mark´s heart broke when he saw her swollen eyes and red nose. Only god knew how long she´s been crying.

"No..you´re crying...I´m not gonna leave you here like that." he insisted on staying which made her sob even harder and him even more clueless.

"Mark please!" she cried into her wet hands, and all he wanted to do was hug her but he know that he couldn´t do it.

"You want me to get Jackson? Because I´m not gonna leave you here alone in that condition." he still wanted to help her because even when she told him to go he could sense that she wanted him to stay.

"Mark go!" her words were almost not to hear, as her voice got huskily and she was crying so hard.

"Come here." Mark couldn´t resist any longer and wrapped his arms around her.

"Go! Leave me alone!" Lexie still told him but her body leaned against him and her face was now buried in his dark blue scrub shirt.

"Shh.." he tried to calm her down with a huge success. His soft, calm voice immediately made her feel better and the sobs got more quiet with every minute he was holding her. Although it felt like an eternity until the last cry came out of her mouth both enjoyed every second.

"You want to tell me what´s wrong now?" Mark asked still not less worried when Lexie pulled away.

"I...I´m gonna lose my job...I´m just an intern...I can´t allow myself to be..." she stuttered anxious and didn´t help Mark´s confusion.

"What? To be what?" Mark tried to get it out of her and in the meantime Jackson walked down the stairs, because he and Lexie always waited for each other to drive home together. But when he saw them sitting there he stopped to listen to them.

"I´m pregnant Mark." Lexie whispered still with a husky voice and looking down at her hands. Mark closed his eyes sighing, thinking that he lost her forever. Jackson also not less surprised gasped before he walked to another entrance to leave the hospital. He knew it couldn´t be his.

"Does Jackson know?"he wanted to know looking at his own hands, not bearing to see the love of his life pregnant with another man´s baby. But Lexie shook her head silently as her eyes welled up again. "Maybe you should tell him?" Mark suggested almost vomiting thinking about her in Jackson´s arms.

"It´s not that easy...it´s...it´s not easy because..because..." Lexie stuttered and looked up at him which led to her getting even more tears in her eyes.

"What is it?" Mark now looked at her and the second their eyes met both felt that bond between them.

"It´s not his...Mark I´m pregnant with your child." A tear rolled down Lexie´s cheek when she said it out loud, while Mark´s expression changed to a very shocked face and a gasp leaving his mouth.

 _But you will never be alone with it._


	33. Everything has changed

**Hey guys!**

 **I am - again - so sorry for being so inactive school just hit me a lot the past few weeks. Also I am going on my practical training which lasts 3 months in only 4 weeks so you probably can´t expect me to upload until end of September or so. I am thankful for every single reader and for every single comment I get, I just wanted to let you know. It inspires me so much and I immediately have the will to continue writing.**

 **Other than that enjoy the chapter with a lot of Slexie (FINALLY)**

 **love ya**

 **Everything has changed**

 _We all know them. Some of us like them. Some of us hate them._

 _Changes._

 _When you need to adjust yourself to them._

 _When you need to turn everything upside down to keep up._

"Dear doctors thank you all for coming." Richard greeted his staff when he stepped a few steps up to have a good overview. Everybody was eager to know what it was today that their boss had to tell them. "After all the changes we´ve been through, the fusion, the quitting, and this week our change of name. But that´s not all we are going to change. Some of the management thought...that we were...well, too old-fashioned. So instead of all paper charts for each patient every doctor will now get a tablet where all the patients´ files are on." he continued while some interns were walking through the crowd giving a tablet to everyone. The younger doctors were a bit more excited than the older ones, which looked – just as Richard – skeptically. Lexie also gave the tablets out and tried to not make eye contact with either Mark or Jackson, although she already guessed Jackson didn´t come today. Suddenly she felt that she was followed by someone and glanced Mark´s figure in the corner of her eye. Lexie started walking faster, which she was glad to notice, helped and he disappeared behind her.

 _Change is good._

 _At least some people think so._

 _It is good. Sometimes._

 _A new haircut can be good._

 _But some changes are scary and horrifying._

"She still doesn´t answer your calls?" Cristina asked when she and Alex were sitting on a bed in the hallway, her watching him checking for any missed calls. His head shaking softly he gave her no as answer followed by a deep sorrowful sigh.  
"I just can´t help but think what I did wrong. I have no idea what happened. She was fine in the morning and then in the evening she was gone." Alex tried to call her for almost two weeks and was more than just worried about her and his son´s well-being.

"I´m sure you did nothing wrong. Maybe motherhood and cancer was just too much for her." Cristina tried to give him some comfort until Meredith would arrive. All knew she wasn´t good at these things but she also knew that she couldn´t leave her friend alone right now. Alex put his hands onto his face as he leaned against the wall, his head resting there for some minutes. An exhausted groan came out of his mouth when he came back into his previous position.

"How long has it been since you slept through one night?" Cristina asked noticing the eyerings and tired, red eyes Alex had.

"Honestly? The night before she left." he looked at the Korean woman with his sad face, and all she could do as response was a soft clap on the shoulder. Like mentioned. She wasn´t good at these things.

 _Changing your lifestyle, because something different is trendy._

 _Changing your wardrobe, because things got too big or too small._

 _Changing partners, because your love for them is gone._

 _Changing. We all do it. We can´t stop it._

"Can we please talk about this?" Mark suddenly appeared behind Lexie´s ear, while she tried to log in to her account on the tablet by a nurses station.

"I don't know what you mean." she replied pressing some buttons and typing in some passwords, walking a few step further the desk to get out of Mark´s zone, but he followed her.

"You...Lex you can't avoid me for the rest of your life. I...I am the baby's father." Mark whispered harshly so no one would hear him but Lexie.

"Listen, I have no Intention of keeping you out of its life but,...why does this damn thing not work?" Lexie turned it off and on again just to realize that it still didn´t work.

"Then why are you so absent? It´s been one week." Mark was again very close to her which didn´t bother her on one hand because she liked him close but on the other hand she was disturbed because she couldn´t think clear.

"No...I...please just leave me alone." Lexie took the tablet and went away but Mark could grab her hand just in time and pulled her to his side. Closer than before. He took the tablet and and typed something in and as he handed it back to her she was logged in.

"Did you just take anything as my password?" she was a bit confused by how he did this and why she – a genius with photographic memory – couldn´t.

"Lex listen, I never stopped loving you and I know you didn't either. And I want to be apart of this and I want to have a family with you. How about we talk about all these things between us? Maybe with dinner? Tonight at 8?" Mark suggested with a smirk his hand softly touching her lower abdomen, which she quickly pushed away with an angry look.

"Fine. But just dinner between two negotiating people. I don't want any fancies or romantic vibes." she agreed eventually making Mark smile like a little kid.

"Got it." he smirked and was about to leave again when her voice held him back.

"And I want pizza. I am craving pizza." she grinned placing one hand onto where Mark´s was just a few seconds ago. After a short exchange of looks between her hand and her eyes Mark´s smile got wider.

"Fine. I'll pick you up when your shift ends." the attending replied again wanting to leave but her voice stopping her.

"No no no! We're not a couple. We drive each by our own."the intern quickly added and took the tablet, now also ready to leave.

"As you wish." Mark had the typical McSteamy smirk as he bowed a bit in front of her, which made her chuckle slightly before walking away. Both parties went into different direction with a huge smile on their faces

* * *

"Good morning Jane. I´m doctor Robbins and this is doctor Karev and we will take out this tiny little thing called your appendix, which is hurting you so badly." Arizona entered a little girl´s room with her super magic, rainbow spreading smile. Alex followed her, tired and with swollen eyes from all the crying he did the previous night. His phone was in his hand so he wouldn´t miss Izzie´s call.

"Hello doctors, Janey is totally excited to be operated today." the girl´s mother giggled and Jane made big eyes.

"Will I have a scar? A bigger one than my classmate Casey? She always brags with hers. I want to have a much cooler scar." the girl explained excited and made Arizona smile even brighter.

"Yeah you will have a little scar. But you can tell everyone that this surgery was super super complicated and it lasted 10 hours." Arizona lied and the patient´s eyes got wider when she told her how much time it´d take.

"Really?" she wanted to know and Alex scoffed.

"Well, actually it would only take about-" he wanted to tell the truth but got a hit into his rips by the attending.

"If not longer." she continued for her resident before explaining the procedure to the child and the mother.

* * *

Cristina and Meredith laid on a gurney in the hallway, chewing gum and doing nothing.

"I´m worried for Alex. He looks terrible."Cristina suddenly meant.

"Oh you are?" Meredith mocked her nodding to the fact that Cristina wasn´t good with these emotion things.

"Yes. I´m also worried for Izzie. I mean we have no idea where she is, what she´s doing, how Denny is...she may be dead by now." the Korean woman explained and earned a clap on her shoulder from her friend.  
"Don´t say such things. She´s fine. She just needs some time. She will come back again." Meredith was hopeful, but also pessimistic if they will ever see her again.

"Yeah but it was so rude of her to just leave. Alex is a total mess. He almost lost her to cancer and now he really lost her to what? Her stupidity?" Cristina wondered mad and Meredith sighed.

"We´ll see. All we can do is hoping that she will answer a phone call...You have some chocolate?"

"Um...no..I have baby pretzels." Cristina replied giving Meredith the little pack of pretzels. "Your hormones driving you wild?"

"There are no hormones." Meredith explained, putting her gum into a tissue and starting eating the snack.

"But I thought-"

"Nope. I had a phantom pregnancy and got cut off my hormones. We´re just trying it without them." she interrupted her friend gulping down the pretzels as the topic got more onto her nerves.

"Mer, I´m so sorry."

"It´s okay. It´s probably better this way." they continued lying around doing nothing when suddenly Miranda came by.

"Wha-...Don´t you have patients to look after?!" she asked confused and harshly. The two residents quickly jumped off the gurney and headed into different directions leaving their snacks behind.

"Haha.." Bailey chuckled when she sat down onto the place her residents have been seconds ago. She took the pack of pretzels and started to eat them, when an intern looked at her strangely. "What? Can´t a woman take a five minute break?" she defended herself making him even more nervous than he probably was.

* * *

The hours went by and Alex and Arizona started scrubbing in for their patient´s appendectomy.

"You want to perform the surgery?" Arizona asked out of sudden catching Alex´ attention.

"Me?..Uh..yeah sure." he stuttered overwhelmed.

"I know an appendectomy is not as cool as an open heart surgery but-" Arizona started but Alex cut her off.

"Every solo-surgery is cool." he meant as a thank you whilst drying his hands with a sterile towel.

"But you must be cautious. It´s a five-year old on the table." Arizona warned him and Alex nodded quickly.

"I will. I promise." he swore and entered the o.r. to get dressed, followed by his attending.

* * *

Teddy went towards the desk in the e.r. where Owen was sitting. She was paged for a consult but her patient was fine and she was bored.

"Hey. You got some free time? We could get a little snack." she offered her friend who was working by the computer.

"I would love to, but I have no time. All these files must be downloaded on the tablets. Not having normal charts makes this all so much more work. And I am starving." he replied tired off all the changes they had to make in their hospital.

"Maybe I can get you something? A pack of chips or something to drink?" she suggested smiling and Owen sighed relieved.

"That would be so nice of you.." he meant, downloading files on another tablet which turned out to be Richard Webber´s. Teddy could catch a glance of the patient´s name and froze for a second.

"Why is Henry in the e.r.?" she asked seriously and Owen looked down also noticing it and remembering when he came in.

"Right he was brought in with severe pain in his abdomen. Webber took over." he explained and Teddy´s eyes turned furious.

"Why didn´t anyone tell me? I am his wife!" she asked harshly really trying not to scream.

"On paper. I didn´t know you´d care. He´s in 1." he meant pointing on trauma room one to which Teddy immediately headed.

"Henry!" she worried when she faced him convulsed in pain and a nurse giving him some pain killers, while Webber tried to find out what was wrong by touching his abdomen in four quarters. Henry put down the air mask to talk to Teddy but groaned in pain when the chief of surgery pressed onto the place his pancreas was. Teddy instinctively grabbed his hand to support him and Henry pressed hers like he would give birth.

"We need to do an MRI." Webber explained and the staff started to make his gurney ready to go.

"I´m coming with you." Teddy promised feeling bad for him. "I won´t leave your side."

"Give him more morphine so he can lay still." Webber ordered and so they did.

A few minutes later Henry laid on the gurney of the MRI machine, drugged and holding his legal wife´s hand.

"You are so, so pretty." he meant not being himself in that moment.

"Okay Henry, you are high right now. And you will take a little ride into this machine and then we will know what´s wrong with you." Teddy giggled. She knew she couldn´t take him serious but it was still funny and complimenting.

"I´ve tried to tell you so long..." Henry started when the gurney moved in to the machine and his hand let go of hers.

"Tell me what?" Teddy asked loudly but chuckling into the machine while a nurse told her to leave the room.

"That I love you." Henry chuckled inside this space ship – look a like thing which was fascinating him on so many levels. Teddy stared at him, not knowing what to say. She was shocked still she felt a tickling inside her body which she didn´t in a very long time.

* * *

"You´re doing great Alex. Now all you have to do is-" Arizona looked through the opened body but Alex cut her off.

"Suturing the colon and being careful so it won´t tear." he finished for her making her smile proudly under her surgical mask.

"Correct." she agreed to his plan and continued watching his hands work when they suddenly heard his phone rang. Alex turned around to the nurse that looked at the number hoping for his fiancé.

"It says anonymous." she meant and Alex whispered something about `that must be Izzie` to himself.

"Alex? Please concentrate on the girl." Arizona tried to get his attention back but he looked at the nurse that was holding his phone which still rang.

"Alex!" Arizona repeated now louder. "Shannon please turn off doctor Karev´s phone." she meant when in this second it stopped ringing and Alex´ eyes teared up.

"I don´t know what could be more important than this right now, but are you able to continue?" the attending asked unsure about his condition. But he couldn´t talk. He felt an unbearable pain in his chest and couldn´t hold back the tears. He didn´t even know if it really was Izzie but he was so sure. He knew he couldn´t continue operating. The resident stepped away without saying a word. His legs felt numb and his head heavier than ever. He heard how Arizona yelled his name but he could only hear her blurred. Putting off his gloves and mask and coat he left the o.r. after taking his pager and phone and went straight to his car.

* * *

"So..." Mark started not knowing what to say.

"So..." Lexie replied staring onto the table not knowing what kind of date this was. The awkwardness was written all over their faces. On one hand they enjoyed spending time together especially now that there was a product of their time in Lexie´s womb, but on the other they were just really clueless about the whole situation.

"How are you doing?" Mark wanted to know sipping from his wine he desperately needed. Lexie also really wanted a sip but she couldn´t due to her pregnancy so she drank her water to clear her throat.

"Good...good...I feel like vomiting from time to time but that´s normal I guess." she giggled and made Mark smile a little. He was happy that she agreed to this date but he felt guilty. Guilty for putting her into this position with being pregnant and destroying her relationship with Jackson. Although she didn´t tell him about what happened the night before, he could sense something was off.

"And are you taking your vitamins?" Mark asked looking through the menu and so did Lexie.

"Yes. I stole some free samples from the storage room after I found out about...it. But I will make an appointment with my ob soon and then we can talk about all this." she replied hopeful he wouldn´t ask to come with her.

"You should go to Arizona. She´s the best." Mark looked up and stared directly into Lexie´s eyes who raised an eyebrow.

"You mean the lesbian girlfriend of your other baby´s mother? I think I´m good without it." she answered monotone and looked into her card again, causing Mark to sigh and reach for her hand.

"Look, I know this whole situation is complicated and I know apologizing again for what I did back then won´t help." he started catching her gaze again. "But I want this. I really want this with you. And I want to be a part of this and I hope you can look over the fact that another woman is pregnant too. I´ve always wanted a big family and now I can have one. I can have one with you." he smiled comforting and Lexie couldn´t help but reply the smile. She still wasn´t so sure what to do but she knew Mark would be a great father. No matter if it was for both babies or just Callie´s.

* * *

Alex was sitting on the couch in Meredith´s house he was crashing on the past few nights. He stared at his phone and the message that he had a voice mail he didn´t listen to yet. Suddenly Derek and Meredith entered the house talking about their days when they noticed Alex sitting there like a piece of crap. The woman immediately noticed something was wrong and gave Derek a look to go upstairs and leave them alone which he did.

"You okay?" she asked and kneeled down in front ho him.

"Izzie called me back. She left a voice mail." he meant and both their eyes went down to his phone.

"Did you listen to it? What did she say? Did you call her back?" Meredith asked and sat down next to him on the couch.

"No..no I didn´t. I...I was too afraid."

"You want me to get some Tequila?" Meredith asked and Alex nodded.

* * *

"How are you feeling?" Teddy leaned against the door to Henry´s room where he opened his eyes still a bit foggy from the drugs and anesthetics he got.

"Okay...I guess." he replied trying to sit up but stopped when he felt some pain in his stomach.

"You´re lucky they didn´t open you up. You can ease your pain by taking these meds." she meant putting a little orange tube on the table at the end of his bed.

"Teddy, I´m sorry. For...for what I said." Henry started after they were silent for a minute. "Webber told me I said a lot of crap while being drugged. Apparently I made a compliment to his hair...which he doesn´t have." he continued giggling. "So I´m sorry, if I said anything inappropriate to you."

"Well, you told me you´d love me." Teddy smiled and Henry shut his eyes close.

"Oh no did I? I am so sorry. I know you can´t have a relationship with patients and that this may be highly inappropriate-" Henry tried to explain but Teddy just smiled and sat down on his bed cutting him off by taking his hand.

"No. It was highly inappropriate to marry you just for the insurance." she explained and Henry looked down, awaiting her to say that she doesn´t feel the same way. "But you are my husband and I am your wife."

"But just on paper." Henry added, his voice quiet and sad.

"Henry, I felt something weird, when you told me your feelings for me. I haven´t felt this in a very long time." shocked by Teddy´s words, Henry looked up and looked straight into her eyes. "You are my husband and I think I just never realized that I´m falling in love with you." she added before leaning in to kiss him. A sensation of feelings ran through their veins and chills down their spines. It was a soft almost unrecognizable kiss but it was there. And with it all the things both where hiding for so long.

 _Changes can be spreading hope. They can be terrifying._

 _They can be the worst or the best thing that has ever happened._

 _But no matter how odd or scary something seems._

 _You never have to go through it alone._

After their date Lexie drove to the hospital hoping for someone special. She went to the pediatric wing just to find out that the shift of the person she was looking for ended a few minutes ago. Hopeful, she went to the attending´s locker room and knocked three times before opening the door.

"Doctor Grey? What can I do for you?" the attending asked surprised about Lexie´s appearance.

"Doctor Robbins. I know your shift ended but I was wondering if you could give me an ultra-sound and discuss my options. I´m 9 weeks along." Lexie told her the jaw-dropping news.

"You mean you´re-" Arizona started but stopped when Lexie nodded. "Okay let´s look for a quiet, hidden room to do the ultra sound. Come with me." Arizona meant and held out her hand which Lexie took thankfully and let out a sigh and with it a tear rolled down her face.

 _You will always have people that care for you and help you._

 _That take your hand when you need it the most._

 _A change can be a dark cloud over your head._

 _But if you know the right people they can turn everything positive._

 _Or at least less painful._

Meredith and Alex drank a few shots of Tequila as courage boost before he pressed onto the button to listen to the voice mail and put it on speaker.

"Hey Alex, it´s me Izzie. I´m sorry I´m reaching out only now. I´m sorry I didn´t answer any of your or the other´s calls. I needed some space. I want you to know that I´m fine. I´m feeling good. Denny´s good too. He´s eating a lot. Probably has this after you." the sound of her voice and the soft grumbling of his son made Alex tear up and even Meredith´s comforting hand on his shoulder couldn´t stop his tears from streaming down his face. Her voice cracked and sounded tearful as well but Alex tried to concentrate on what she said and not how. "Anyway. I owe you an apology. I shouldn´t have left you just like that. But I want you to move on. I want you to be happy and find love again because...I´m probably not coming back. i´m surely not coming back. I will arrange meetings for you and Denny, once he´s older but...please...you don´t have to understand but please respect my decision. Don´t call me again or I will change my phone number. I love you Alex, I always will. But please. Let go. Goodbye." and then there was the never ending tone of her hanging up. They both couldn´t believe what they just heard. Alex was crying out loud now and Meredith had some tears in her eyes as well. They got interrupted by Lexie entering the house. A quick exchange of looks between the sisters, Meredith´s eyes told her to just go into her room, which she was glad to do so.

 _To change can be difficult._

 _You have to adapt your life to the changes._

 _You have to think differently and try to let go of the old._

 _A change can be good. It can shine on things with a new light._

 _It can be the best..._

Lexie was lying in her bed in a cold atmosphere. The other side of the bed was empty. It's been one week since she found out about the pregnancy and hasn't told anyone beside Mark and Arizona yet. Well, theoretically. It was late at night and she had to get up early for her work, but couldn't fall asleep by any means. The situation that occurred one week ago after telling Mark kept her awake

„ _Jackson what...what are you doing?" Lexie asked when she entered her room and saw Jackson packing his belongings. After telling Mark about his child growing in her uterus he drove her home in complete silence. All she wanted was to find some rest but Jackson was driven by anger and eager to leave the house._

" _Jackson please talk to me. What is wrong?" She came closer grabbing his hand which he pulled away immediately._

" _You know I thought you were different. After all you have experienced." He risked to look her in her swollen and red eyes, his not less tearful._

" _What do you mean? I don't know what you are talking about!" She was confused and clueless by his actions and her eyes started to well up again._

" _To cheat on me! I thought you weren't like my previous girlfriends but you are!" Jackson yelled at her. He didn't care if Meredith or Derek heard him. He was angry and needed to let it out._

" _What I...I never cheated on you! I would never do that!" Lexie was mad at his statement. "Jackson you know me. I am not that type of girl." She again made a step closer to him but he stepped back glancing at her with anger filled tears in his eyes._

" _Then how can you be pregnant? How can you be pregnant without us having sex ONCE?!" He screamed and hit on the suitcase with his palm._

" _Jackson I didn't cheat on you I promise. I...I don't want to tell the whole story but trust me I didn't cheat on you." She tried to stay as calm as possible but her feelings overwhelmed her._

" _So why can't I believe you?" He meant, his voice now more quiet but firm and harsh._

" _Jackson please...you have to believe me. I obviously was pregnant before we started dating. Jackson I swear to you I never cheated on you. I really l-...like you." Lexie tried to convince him to stay but his mind didn't change._

" _But you still love Mark." He simply answered, taking the suitcase and leaving the room._

" _Jackson. Jackson!" Lexie tried to hold him back and ran after him. "Jackson!" She called him one last time with a shaking voice before he closed the door behind him and was gone._

" _Lexie?" Meredith looked out of her room just to face her crying sister who stormed into her room._

"Lexie?" Meredith knocked at her door and came in to face her sister slowly sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Mer, I gotta tell you something."

 _...or the worst._


	34. Commitment to Complications

**Hey guys!**

 **I know I´m not really posting a lot (like never) but I just had absolutely no inspiration and tbh the huge love I had for Grey´s kind of left me. I´ll try my best to get this story forward and to finish it because I don´t just want to end it like this. Anyway I hope you like this chapter even though it´s not really good.**

 **lots of love**

 _It is the competition that makes us go wild._

 _That brings out the animal in us._

 _It´s the competition that keeps us focused._

 _That lets us put all our anger beside._

"You sure you´re okay working with him?" April asked Jackson as they stood in front of the closed lab doors, watching Mark looking through a microscope. Since he found out about Lexie´s pregnancy he slept at April´s and drove to work with her every day.

"Yeah I´m good. I´m just trying to not let this stuff get to me." he replied with a fake smile and went into the room

 _We are focused. That´s good._

 _You can´t let things get the best of you when you are a doctor._

 _You need to follow the protocol._

 _But every now and then you do it your way._

"You okay?" Meredith looked down at her younger sister who was sitting by the table staring into her cup of tea. Lexie quickly nodded rubbing her forehead. It was deep dark at night when the two of them sat in the kitchen and talked about the younger ones pregnancy.

"So when did you find out?" Meredith asked sitting down on the opposite chair and Lexie sighed, still not looking up from her cup.

"About a week ago." she replied quietly with a soar voice.

"Does Jackson know? Or does he think it´s his?" the older sister grabbed her hand trying to spend some comfort and Lexie looked up to her eyes.

"Yes he does. I don´t know how but he found out. And he also knows it´s Mark´s...we actually never had..." Lexie cut off her sentence, the lump in her throat making it to hard for her to speak.

"So what you gonna do? You don´t seem happy about the baby." Meredith noticed by the looks on Lexie´s face.

"Well, I´m not thrilled to be honest. I am an intern. My career didn´t even start and I´m pregnant already? I don´t know what to do. I would never abort, and Mark seems so happy but...this whole situation with Callie being pregnant and us not even being a couple and my job...I don´t see any other way." Lexie explained looking down into her cup again.

"So you´re gonna get rid of it?" Meredith wanted to make sure she misunderstood but Lexie just shrugged.

"I don´t know. I went to Arizona last night and we talked and I will talk about it with Mark as soon as I know what to decide." she meant now taking a sip of the already lukewarm beverage and Meredith leaned back into her chair. It wasn´t fair. It wasn´t fair that she wasn´t able to get pregnant while other women would terminate their pregnancy.

 _We do our best when we are driven by the will to fight._

 _When all your senses are electrified by the will to win._

 _Doctors are very goal orientated._

 _We need to think through every possible outcome to prevent the worst._

 _But what can I say...we like to win._

Lexie sat on the bench in the intern´s locker room. Her mind was completely foggy and her thoughts absent. She knew she had to stay focused on her work or she would hurt someone or worse. But how could she? How could she stay focused when all she could think about was this little human growing in her stomach? Lexie took her ultra sound scan from last night out of her pocket. She told Arizona to print two, she felt uncomfortable telling Arizona about Mark being the father, when she herself expected a child from him in away. But her emotions got the best of her and she told the attending evrything. with being shocked at first, Arizona understood and wasn´t mad at her. Lexie shook her head to get the memories of last night out of her head. Convinced to tell Mark about her decision not to give birth, she stood up and went to the lab, she found out, he was working in. After a few knocks on the door she stepped in and wished she didn´t. Mark and Jackson both looked up at her and she couldn´t deny the pain she saw in Jackson´s eyes. Little did she know the two of them were still working together after all. Clearing her throat and taking a deep breath she asked Mark if she could speak with him outside. A few awkward looks between the three of them were exchanged, before Mark stood up and left the room with her, leaving Jackson behind.

"That was awkward." Mark meant exhaling loudly as if a ton of weight fell off his back but with a hinted smile.

"I have something for you." Lexie suddenly said and held the picture towards him, looking around if nobody was watching them.

"Is that?" Mark looked at the picture and then at her again as she nodded slightly and not as happy as he was. "Oh my god that´s...so wonderful. Lex, that´s...that´s incredible." he stared at the picture as he held it in his hands. All of his excitement made it harder and harder for her to tell him that she wanted an abortion.

"Mark there´s actually something I wanted to tell-" she started but he cut her off.

"Whatever it is, it couldn´t make me happier than this little peanut on the picture." he assured her and now she was sure she couldn´t tell him. "How about we meet tonight? We could discuss all the things and have a nice dinner." Mark suggested and tore Lexie out of her thoughts. He finally looked her in the eyes and noticed that they were filled with tears.

"Hey, what´s wrong?" he asked and came closer to put his hand on her shoulder, but she stepped back to signalize him not to.

"Nothing,..nothing." she wiped away a tear that rolled down her cheek and faked a smile. "I have to go...rounds and stuff." Lexie continued while walking backwards. "I´ll come to yours tonight. Then we can talk about it...the pregnancy." she meant before walking away completely and leaving Mark rather surprised behind.

* * *

"Good morning." Teddy came across Arizona and Callie, smiling widely.

"Good...morning...? What is wrong with you?" Callie giggled and turned towards Teddy to look for any sign why the attending was so cheerful.

"Well, Henry and I admitted our feelings yesterday and we had _amazing_ sex afterwards." Teddy explained and caused the couple to look suspicious.

"But he´s in the hospital. As a patient. With abdominal pain." Arizona wondered confused and Teddy shrugged.

"He felt way better then." she chuckled and so did Callie, but Arizona was still shocked about the news.

"So are you two official now? Like dating?" Callie asked and Teddy nodded.

"I guess so...I mean we skipped the dating part and immediately got married but..." both attendings laughed and Arizona just faked a smile. "Anyway, I was just on my way to him. He´s getting discharged today and I was going to drive him home. What are your plans tonight?" the cardiac-thoracic surgeon wanted to know still not smiling less than before breaking the news.

"Well, we are having a parenting night with Mark so.." Arizona meant less excited about it than she should be. Callie noticed Teddy´s confused look and started explaining.

"It was my idea. Since Arizona and Mark don´t get along very well I thought we would do a parenting night every other week to discuss things like names, kindergarten and stuff." she said followed by a fake smile from Arizona´s side. "Come on, it´s gonna be fun." Callie kicked in her side with her elbow to make her smile again, which she didn´t really do.

"Well, then have fun with your parenting night." Teddy replied happily before she walked away.

"And you with Henry." Callie let her know loudly after which Teddy turned around not stopping walking.

"I will." she winked and then continued her way to Henry´s room.

* * *

Meredith was riding the elevator with some other staff members, when they stopped at a floor and all left besides her. Instead of the others Derek came in and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek as a hello. He leaned against the wall, next to her and started talking about a procedure he was going to do on a pregnant woman when suddenly her sobs interrupted him.

"Mer,...Mer? Is everything alright?" he asked worried looking at her and grabbing her by her shoulders.

"No. No nothing´s alright. The universe is so cruel. It gives babies to women that don´t even want them. And it makes everything possible to not get me pregnant." she cried before falling into her fiancé´s arms, which immediately closed to a hug.

"What...What are you talking about? Who doesn´t want a baby?" he was confused and worried about what was going on. Meredith sniffed a few times pulling out of the hug but not looking up to Derek´s face.

"Lexie. She´s pregnant and I shouldn´t even tell you but...she doesn´t even want the baby and still is pregnant and all I get is more desperate." Meredith spilled the secret and Derek furrowed his eyebrows.

"Lexie is...does Jackson know?" he wanted to know shocked by what he just found out.

"No it´s...you shouldn´t know this I...I shouldn´t have told you..."

"Meredith what´s going on? Why is this such a secret?"

"It´s not Jackson´s. Lexie assured me she didn´t cheat on him but..." the resident has calmed down and could talk normally now but something in Derek´s face changed. He looked at her quite unable to believe.

"It´s...Mark´s?" he asked quietly, his voice almost shaking with what seemed to be anger. Meredith nodded almost unnoticeable followed by a noise made by the elevator which meant that it reached their destined floor and Derek stormed out of it as soon as it opened its doors.

* * *

Mark and Jackson were working in silence. Every now and then one looked at the other one awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Mark cleared his throat and reached out his hand as he still looked through the microscope.

"Tweezers please." he asked and Jackson put them into his palm. "So...are we cool?" he then asked after being silent for another minute.

"What?" Jackson didn´t expect him starting a conversation and was clearly surprised when Mark looked up from his work and into his eyes.

"Are we cool? Isn´t that what you kids say today? I mean with this whole situation...I can take another resident if you don´t want to work with me. It would be a loss though, you´re really talented." Mark explained and Jackson raised his eyebrows still not less surprised by what came out of the attending´s mouth. He of course was angry and hurt but also flattered that one of the best plastic surgeons thought he was good.

"Nah, I´m fine." he then replied when the shock went back.

"Good, then let´s change seats." Mark smiled at him and held the tweezers towards the resident.

"What?" Jackson asked again shocked and with raised eyebrows.

"Why are you so dull-witted today? Come on I want to see what you can do." he pressed the tweezers into his assistant´s hand and rolled back with his chair to make space for him. Jackson was just starting to look through the microscope when suddenly Derek interrupted them by storming into the room.

"Mark, a word." he meant harshly but Mark didn´t move.

"What? I can´t he´s working on a project under my supervision." Mark pointed on Jackson, who switched his gaze between the two surgeons.

"Avery is a good doctor, he can look through a microscope on his own. Now come!" Derek ordered and Mark went outside with him not really sure what to expect.

"How are you always doing this?" Derek asked scoffing and with a rather angry giggle.

"Doing what? Derek you are talking in riddles what is wrong?" Mark wanted to know now also talking harshly.

"How are you always destroying people´s lives as soon as you come into it?" Derek now asked more clearly but Mark still didn´t understand. "Lexie!" he screamed and then lowered his voice. "She was an innocent young girl who just started her career and as soon as she met you it ended. How can you two be parents, especially you. And how didn´t you tell me? Your best friend." Derek felt offended but so did Mark. They were on a bit of a rocky road since he first met Lexie, and every time Mark screwed things up in Derek´s eyes he got mad at him.

"I didn´t think you´d care. You didn´t seem excited about Callie being pregnant so I didn´t tell you now. Also it´s way too early. Lexie and I didn´t even completely realize what´s happening." Mark defended himself but Derek shook his head.

"You are unbelievable. I just wish you could think with your head for once and not your penis." he meant before he turned around and went back to where he was coming from. Mark looked down to his shoes. He was angry that Derek talked to him like that but he also knew that things were complicated. All he wanted now was to distract himself with work. A lot of work.

* * *

"Hey Alex it´s me. Again." Meredith was on her phone trying to reach her best friend but he wouldn´t pick up. "Listen, I know you are not in the mood to come to the hospital right now but Robbins has been asking me questions about your whereabouts and I no longer want to lie to her, saying that you´re sick when in real life you´re just trying to hide from the world. So please come back and help her do her work for the competition or she will find another resident. Alright, call me back when you hear this." she hung up continuing her walk through the hallway when Cristina joined her.

"Have you seen Teddy? I´ve looked everywhere, even paged her but she doesn´t react. We should meet up with Robbins to talk about our procedure for the competition but she is nowhere to be found." Cristina explained her debacle to Meredith who couldn´t really focus because the thoughts about Alex ran through her head.

"Maybe she has a patient or I don´t know maybe she´s with Henry." was the only response Cristina got from her person. "You think Alex will be fine? With Izzie and Denny being gone? I mean you think he will come back to the hospital where they fell in love and she almost died?"

"I´m not sure but if he wants to be a surgeon he has to come back eventually." Cristina replied dryly.

* * *

Derek was walking into the cafeteria as his stomach was growling. Just as he took an apple, he saw Lexie sitting by a table all by herself drinking from a juice box and looking at something.  
"Hey you." he greeted her and she looked up and gave him a small smile. Derek sat down next to her and she quickly hid the little ultra sound picture she was looking at under a staple of books. "How are you?" Derek asked to her surprise. He now knew about her pregnancy and that she didn´t want that baby and that it was Mark´s but he didn´t want to hint it just now.

"Um..I´m good thanks. You?" she replied confused and he told her he was fine as well. For a moment it was quiet until Lexie cleared her throat and broke it.

"So, are you gonna do anything for the contest?" she asked politely and Derek nodded with a grin.

"Yes, I wanna compete with my Alzheimer´s study. Are you working on anything?"

"No, no...I didn´t get picked. But it´s fine really. I´ve got a lot on my mind right now with the exam at the end of the year and..." Lexie quickly stopped and cut her sentence off when Derek lifted his head in curiosity. "I´ve just got a lot to do right now."

"That´s too bad, I wanted to ask if you´d like to help me." Derek offered standing up and acting as if he was about to walk away.

"What? Seriously? I´m in. I mean I would love to if you let me." Lexie replied immediately and with a chuckle.  
"But I thought-" Derek grinned and Lexie cut him off when she waved with her hand as if all she said before was over dramatically put.

"You kidding? I´ll always have time for a freaking competition." she smiled back and when Derek showed her to come with him, she quickly put the sonogram into her lab coat and took the books with her.

* * *

Cristina found herself in the library reading about some innovations in a cardiac-thoracic journal, when she came to a page about a surgeon, she knew all too well.

"Preston Burke! I admire his work. What did he do?" Teddy suddenly stood behind her smiling from one ear to another at the sight of a picture of the man.

"Um,…I don´t care." Cristina quickly turned over the page and tried to ignore the shocked gasp of her attending. Teddy put down the books about studies on heart surgeries on fetuses and sat down next to her favorite resident.

"You don´t care about Preston Burke? THE Preston Burke? And I thought you would admire someone as good as him as well."

"Well, it´s a long story." Cristina replied unconvincingly pretending to read another article.

"Is it because he worked here? What did you do? Scare him away like all the other cardiac-thoracic surgeons before me? Or did you embarrass yourself in front of him?" Teddy joked with a light chuckle.

"It´s…not important." Cristina still tried to avoid a conversation about her ex.

"But-" Teddy wanted to continue but the resident cut her off by smashing the journal in front of her.

"Here read about your idol yourself." She meant angrily before walking away.

* * *

The time passed too quickly and suddenly Mark found himself in his kitchen preparing a 3-course dinner for Lexie. He just put the tiramisu into the fridge when it knocked at his door.

"That´s too early? I told her to come in 30 minutes." he thought out loud walking towards the door. His look was quite confused when his neighbors Callie and Arizona stood in front of him. They didn´t look less confused by him blocking the doorway and not letting them in.

"Okay um...you ready for parenting night?" Callie eventually asked and his eyes widened even more.

"I thought that was next week?" his brain worked like crazy to find a solution for his dilemma.

"No, it´s this week. Can we come in?" Arizona meant less enthusiastic than her girlfriend and Mark stepped aside to let them in.  
"We brought anti alcoholic wine...and I see you cooked." Callie noticed smelling the soft but spicy smell of the chicken in the oven.  
"Could we please do this tomorrow. I´ve made plans for tonight." Mark stuttered nervously, fearing that Lexie would come earlier and it would lead to an awkward situation.

"Plans? With whom?" Callie asked kind of annoyed that he forgot but also curious about the secret date. "Normally we talk about every of your dates."

"It´s not that important...just please go before she comes here and it gets awkward."

"Who is it?" Arizona asked now also persisted on knowing before leaving.

"Lexie." Mark admitted quietly and while Arizona who knew about the pregnancy nodded understandingly, Callie obviously didn´t think it was a good idea and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Lexie? Oh no no no. That ship has sailed, and sank. Aren´t you tired of all this drama?" she sighed and tried to convince her friend that he was making a mistake again.

"Callie I really think we should leave them. They for sure have something important to talk about." Arizona grabbed her hand showing her to leave him alone. Although Mark didn´t know that Arizona knew about their situation he was thankful to know her on his side.

"Well, we too." Callie pulled her hand away and placed it on her lower abdomen causing Mark to feel guilty that he forgot about their meeting tonight.

"We can do this tomorrow all right? I just...Lexie´s on her way and I really need to discuss something with her. I don´t want to mess it up again." Mark literally begged for his friends to leave and Arizona tried to convince Callie again.

"Fine. But if it goes wrong this time again, don´t come to me crying about it because I´ve warned you a dozen times." Callie said angrily as she and her girlfriend approached the door. Mark sighed partly relieved and partly feeling guilty. But he couldn´t tell her. He couldn´t tell his pregnant best friend about his pregnant ex. He just wondered how life could get so confusing sometimes.

 _Surgeons can´t be distracted._

 _They need to focus on the main problem._

 _If we make mistakes, they can be deadly._

 _Our private life doesn´t matter in an o.r._

 _We need to put our best foot forward._

Meredith and Derek entered their house talking about the Alzheimer´s study he was doing.

"And you think by injecting that medicine into their brain, the patients will really get better?" Meredith asked interested. Derek gave her a smile before kissing her on the cheek.

"At least I hope so. Wanna go upstairs and celebrate it?" he asked in a flirty tone. His hands were wrapped around her tiny waist as he placed some passionate kisses on her neck and collar bone. Meredith giggled and pressed herself closer to him. She felt like since her phantom pregnancy Derek tried even more to get her pregnant. She didn´t complain. All of this affection flattered her. Derek stopped his kisses for a second and looked at her, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. Her lips slowly moved to his and started with a soft kiss. Their kiss quickly became more passionate as their tongues entered each other´s mouths.

"Get a room!" Alex´ voice suddenly interrupted their moment, when he came from the kitchen with a bottle of beer and a fresh bowl of popcorn. "It´s disgusting." He added, stuffing a handful of the savory treat in his mouth. Derek rolled his eyes followed by a sigh.

"I´m gonna take a shower." He meant placing a kiss on Meredith´s lips and walking upstairs.

"I´ll join you in a minute." The woman called after him with a giggle. Alex frowned, walking to the couch.

"I´ve been trying to call you all day!" Meredith complained slapping him on the head.

"Ouch! I´ve been busy." Alex defended his actions.

"Busy? Busy with what? Getting wasted?" Meredith pointed out, seeing all the empty beer bottles on the couch-table.

"Leave me alone." The man tried to shut her up but she wasn´t going to do that.

"Alex, we´re worried about you. You don´t come to work, don´t respond and all you do is drink and eat all my cereal."

"Don´t be. I´m fine. I don´t need your pity and I don´t need to be reminded of my responsibilities and flaws on a daily basis. If you excuse me now, my movie´s just started." Alex now completely blocked her out and turned away from her.

"You´re a jerk." Meredith murmured leaving him and going to her room.

 _We need to be able to cope with unpredictable situations._

 _We need to be competitive and try to be better than everybody else._

 _When we make decisions, we must be a 100% sure they are the right ones._

 _But sometimes there´s a complication we can´t foresee_

"It smells delicious." Lexie complimented Mark´s cooking skills, taking in the scent of rosemary and spices.

"I hope it tastes at least as good as it smells." Mark smiled putting a plate in front of her.

"Lately I don´t really care about how it tastes. I´ve had a pack of chips and strawberry jam as dip for lunch. Trust me everything´s better than that." The intern giggled at Mark´s shocked expression. They started their meal and it didn´t take long for Lexie let out a sigh of enjoyment and another compliment in Mark´s cooking. They enjoyed the chicken in an awkward silence and occasional glances towards one another.

"You want some dessert now?" Mark asked putting the plates into the sink.

"I think I´ll have to wait for a bit or I´ll look like I was six months along." Lexie joked placing her hand on her abdomen. However, her smile quickly disappeared thinking about how to tell him that she didn´t want the baby.

"Right…about that. We should now start talking." Mark suggested staying at the counter in the kitchen. Lexie looked up from her hand and nodded. She took her glass with water and walked towards him.

"Do you want to start?" Lexie asked shyly and nervous.

"No, you can go first if you want." Mark answered not less nervous but also excited.

"It´s fine really." Lexie smiled awkwardly. It made them giggle that they were so indecisive. "on a count of three okay?" Lexie suggested and Mark nodded in agreement. "1….2….3:"

-"I want an abortion."

-"I love you"

 _And it might have severe consequences._


	35. It took me by surprise

**Hey guys!**

 **So while writing this chapter I had so many ideas that it got really long. So I will continue with the party in the next chapter and with all the stories that weren´t totally finished in this one. Also I feel super bad for leaving some things or couples out so I am going back to focus on only a few couples and not mentioning the others (e.g. Benley, Tenry,...). The main couples will be Slexie, Merder and Calzona and with it Mallie because those three have a storyline that kind of comes together is more important. I will finish the Benley story I started here in the next chapter but I will not contiune with it.  
Other than that enjoy!  
**

 **It took me by surprise**

 _Surprises._

 _They come without warning._

 _They pull away the floor under our feet and change what we were used to._

 _It´s not that we don´t want them. It´s just that we aren´t prepared for them._

It was silent. You could of heard a needle drop. Mark just looked down at his hands playing with a tooth picker that was lying on the counter. Lexie stared at him with an open mouth.

"You what?" she asked, her voice almost echoing in the silent room. Mark didn´t reply. He didn´t even react. It was like he couldn´t even hear her. "Mark…I…" Lexie didn´t even know what to say. She didn´t expect him to tell her that he loved her. Slowly, she went towards him, reaching her hand out, but Mark pulled away and now looked up with tears in his eyes. Lexie´s heart broke at the sight of him being hurt. The woman opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Mark pressed his lips together fighting to hold his tears back. It was hard for him, seeing Lexie like that, hearing those words. A tear rolled down his cheek and caused Lexie to try and reach out again. But all Mark could do was to turn around and walk into his bedroom. The pregnant intern was left in the kitchen. She didn´t know if she should go or not. But she needed to distract herself so she started cleaning the dishes. Her eyes welled up as well and she sniffed a few times while scrubbing the fat out of the frying pan. With every move she got more frustrated and started breathing heavily and eventually threw the sponge and the pan into the sink which made a loud, shattering noise. Lexie leaned with her back against the sink and cradled her head in her wet, in foam covered hands. All she wanted to do was to go into Mark´s bedroom and scream at him, yell that she loved him too, kiss him with all the passion she got in her body, but she couldn't. She wouldn´t dare to enter his room as she was afraid of what he would say.

 _In an o.r. we are often taken by surprise._

 _A bleeding that we didn´t see coming, a tumor that the scans weren´t showing._

 _In medical school we learned about how we should face such surprises and how to act._

 _But let me tell you, sometimes, it´s really hard to do so._

It wasn´t quite morning yet. The sun just started to show itself a little. Derek´s head leaned on his arm as he was watching Meredith breathe in her sleep. He smiled slightly when a little snore escaped Meredith´s lips which woke her up.

"Good morning!" he greeted her with a kiss on her lips.

"Good morning." Meredith turned over to get a better look at him. "How long have you been awake?" she yawned sleepy.

"Not long." Derek meant getting out of bed and walking into the bathroom. "I couldn´t sleep any more, had some thoughts going through my mind."

"Thoughts? What thoughts?" Meredith wondered, now sitting up in bed.

"About our engagement. We´ve been engaged for a long time and I think it´s about time to plan the wedding." Derek stood in the doorway saying the last words. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and the shower was on. Meredith´s smile was gone as she stared him right in the eyes.

"Wedding...right…um…you know I…I need to go…I have…rounds!" she stuttered nervously as she rolled out of bed and picked some clothes out of the dresser. Derek´s eyes followed her as she left the room and appeared to go the other bathroom. Meredith shut the door behind her and leaned against it. She was so confused, she didn´t even notice Alex showering and holding his head out of the shower.

"What are you doing here?" he asked harshly and Meredith looked up surprised.

"I…um…Derek wants to get married." Meredith stuttered looking up to her friend who was rather confused.

"Isn´t that what engagement is all about?" he arched an eyebrow and turned off the water.

"Yes, I know but…he wants to get married. Like he wants a real wedding." Meredith stared at Alex who tried to understand the problem about it.

 _But with practice comes experience._

 _With time there comes knowledge._

 _We can´t be surprised very easily anymore._

 _At least we think so._

April was standing in the kitchen flipping some eggs in a pan and humming a song while slightly dancing to it on the spot.

"Good morn-…" she greeted Jackson who came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and making her speechless. Waterdrops ran down his abs and it felt like he walked to the counter in slow motion.

"Morning Apes." He smiled at her and took a sip of the orange juice that she prepared for him.

"Breakfast´s almost ready." April murmured scanning his wet, muscular body before shaking her head and focusing on the eggs again.

"Are you alright? You look kind of pale." Jackson noticed and April quickly searched for an excuse. She denied it and meant she was fine when she suddenly heard footsteps approaching. April turned around and saw Jackson suddenly standing only inches away from her. "Really? You are a bit…sweaty." Jackson meant and touched her forehead before quickly pulling it away again. "And you are hot. April you might have a fever."

"No…No I don´t I…it´s just really hot here…haha don´t you think? Oh, shoot is it that late already? I…I gotta go work and stuff." April freed herself from this uncomfortably hot situation and walked towards the door where her bag and jacket were hanging. "Um…I´ll see you then." Were her last words before she shut the door close.

* * *

Owen and Cristina were in the middle of something in their bed when her phone wouldn´t stop ringing.

"Shouldn´t you look at it? It may be Teddy with a big cardio trauma." He smiled, lying on top of her and kissing her neck. Cristina took her phone and scrolled down.

"Nope just those stupid automated e-mails that wish you a happy birthday. Where were we?" she answered pulling his face to hers and kissing him passionately.

"Hold on…today´s your birthday?" he pulled away and asked.

"Yeah, no big deal." Cristina didn´t understand his confusion and wanted to kiss him again but he rolled down and stopped next to her.

"It is…we should celebrate it." He looked after her she stood up and walked towards the bathroom, her face in a frown, her movements rushing.

"No! I haven´t celebrated my birthday since I was a kid. It´s no big deal." Were her last words before she shut and locked the bathroom door.

* * *

Teddy walked down the hallway, staring at her pager and waiting for a reply of the intern assigned to her. She came across Lexie lying on an empty gurney, staring down the ceiling.

"Little Grey? What are you doing here? I paged you at least three times." Teddy meant putting her pager away and acting all mad.

"Really? Oh, I´m sorry doctor Altman I…I must have muted it." Lexie looked down onto the device which in fact showed the missed pages from the attending.

"Come on now, we´ve got no time to lose." Teddy hurried her and Lexie sat up confused.

"But I thought I was working with doctor Shepherd today? On his study for the competition." Lexie remembered quite well what the plan said today.

"I´m sure he can do it without you for one day. I´ve got a very special case for the competition as well, and I hear you are the best intern. Therefore, I need you today. Come on now." Teddy hurried her even more as the intern quickly stood up and walked with her.

"What kind of case is it?" Lexie asked curiously.

"Just wait and see." Teddy grinned down at the intern as they walked towards the cardio-thoracic wing.

* * *

Bailey was standing in front of the o.r. board, checking if her laparoscopy that afternoon was all set, when a dark handsome man came and put his name next to anesthesia.

"Excuse me." Miranda cleared her throat as she saw this and the man turned around.

"Doctor Bailey. It´s been so long since we have worked together." Ben Warren smiled down at her and got an angry glimpse as a reply.

"Doctor Warren. I requested doctor Schmitt for anesthesia, and I would very much appreciate if that stayed like that." Bailey tried to lure him away as he came closer and made her more uncomfortable.

"Miranda. Can I call you Miranda?"

"No."

"Miranda. Don´t you see that we should work together? Don´t you see that we make a great team?" Ben stared her right in the eyes.

"But-…uh...Fine." Bailey answered angrily as she took the tablet with all her patients´ information on it and walked away. "And it´s doctor Bailey." She said one last time before she disappeared and left Ben who had a big grin on his face behind.

* * *

"You are doing a valvuloplasty ? On a fetus?" Lexie read out loud when she looked down at the tablet, Teddy handed her. Teddy nodded proudly as they continued walking towards their patient´s room.

"But, how are you going to do that? I mean without delivering." She wondered now looking to the attending who clearly had her eyes set on something…or someone.

"May I introduce to you…" she said aiming for a tall woman in nice clothes and a lab coat. "Nicole Herman. World class-"

"Fetal surgeon." Lexie finished for Teddy as they stopped right in front of the woman. "I´ve read so much about you. I am such a fan of your work." Lexie shook Nicole´s hand enthusiastically and she smiled at her.

"I´ve heard good things about you as well, doctor Grey." she admitted and then looked at Teddy again. "So, who else is gonna be on the team?"

"Well, there would be us three and my favorite resident Cristina Yang, outstanding in cardio, Arizona Robbins, head of peds and with her the two residents Alex Karev and April Kepner." Teddy checked on the tablet to make sure she said everything correctly.

"Alrighty, then let´s meet the others." Nicole meant excited and they walked into their patient´s room, where the others were already waiting.

* * *

Meredith was sitting in the resident´s room, writing down some things on post it notes, when Derek came in and surprised her with a hug from behind.

"You shouldn´t be here." She squealed happily but didn´t complain as he started kissing her neck.

"I just missed you so much." He moaned in between the kisses, sitting down behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist. Although she enjoyed his attention, she didn´t stop writing down the notes. "Why don´t you want a big wedding?" Derek suddenly spilled out and they abruptly stopped what they were doing.

"I don´t know. Big weddings are for happy people, shiny and bright people. I´m not shiny and bright, you are. A big wedding wouldn´t fit me." Meredith thought about what she was afraid of. About how a big ceremony would stress her out and cause her to run away from her own wedding.

"Then what would you like to have?" Derek continued asking and kissing her neck again. Softly he put her hair the other side and focused on every word she said.

"I don´t know. Just you and me. Nothing more and nothing less. Us being together and telling us we love each other. That´s all I want." Meredith explained and Derek looked up again.

"Turn around." He commanded in a whispering tone. She did so but rather confused than excited. "You see those blue post it notes?" he asked holding them up. "We got married on one of these just a few months ago. And if you want to, I would write a whole speech about how much I love you on all of them. If you want to, this can be the only wedding we´d ever have. If you want to, we can go to the town hall right now and get married in five minutes. I´ll do whatever you want for you. I´ll forget about the big wedding, about guests and cake and presents. All that matters is that we are together and that we love each other."

"You´d do that for me?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

* * *

Bailey and Jackson, who was on her service because Mark didn´t need him in the lab, were in the middle of the laparoscopy she scheduled when Ben cleared his throat.

"Are you free tonight?" he asked without any shame.

"Doctor Warren? Is this really he appropriate place and time to ask something like that?" Bailey answered shocked trying to concentrate on the monitor she had in front of her. Although she didn´t look at him she could sense Jackson was holding back his laughter.

"Well, since you never seem to be free to talk to me, I thought I´d better ask you where you can´t just walk away." Ben continued and Bailey shut her eyes and let out a deep sigh while her staff looked at her. "So? Are you free tonight?" Jackson couldn´t hold back a little scoff and earned a furious look from Bailey.

"Doctor Avery!" she said in a harsh tone, "Are you so bored assisting on my surgery, that you are amused by such inappropriate comments?" the small woman looked at him, causing him to swallow loudly.

"No ma´am." He answered in a very scared and quiet tone.

"Good. Then you do me the honor to continue the laparoscopy." Bailey suggested holding the laparoscope towards him and he took it with a big "thank you". Just a few minutes later they finished the surgery and Bailey went to the medical waste bin where she took off her gloves, mask and coat.

"Eight." She said and everybody still remaining in this room looked at her surprised and confused. "And I like Italian." Bailey continued looking directly at Ben

"Who doesn´t?" he chuckled happy that she came around and with a teeny tiny hint of a smile Miranda left the o.r.

* * *

Lexie was walking into the cafeteria where she saw Derek sitting with some case files and decided to go to him to have a chat.

"Hey you. Teddy stole you from my service today. She better has a good explanation for it." Derek greeted her when she sat down on the opposite side of the table.

"She does. It´s a major surgery. A fetal surgery to be exact. With Nicole Herman. Like she´s literally there with us and works with us. I am so excited." Lexie told him with a broad smile and he smiled at her enthusiasm. "Anyway, how´s it going with the Alzheimer´s study?" she asked and took some papers that lied in front of him and read them.

"Well, you know it´s a lot of research and so on but I think I´m close to making a breakthrough." He leaned a bit forward and spoke in whispering tone as if it was a big secret.

"You serious? Oh my god that´s amazing. But don´t break through before I am on you service again alright? I want my name in the article as well." She joked and both started laughing.

"Hey big brother." A female voice suddenly said behind Derek and his delighted face suddenly turned into a frown. He turned around to Amelia who was smiling down at him before grabbing a chair and sitting down. "How´s your study going? I can´t believe you didn´t tell me. I had to hear from Nancy. Why do you never call?" she faked a smile and Derek looked to Lexie who was kind of confused.

"Amy, the next time you come by call first and don´t surprise me and also…don´t come by and if you do don´t talk to me." Derek meant putting all his files and papers on a stack and walking away. Lexie wasn´t sure what she should do but she felt as if it was right to follow him.

"Derek hey." Lexie called after him when she saw him stopping at the nurse´s station. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I´m…I´m fine it´s just…I don´t know what she´s doing here. Here. In this hospital where she´s killed my mother."

"Well, technically she didn´t kill her." Lexie remembered from two months ago. Derek gave her a serious look and she looked down at her shoes. Derek continued reading the files in silent when Lexie suddenly looked up again and started whispering.

"Mark um…he wants the baby." She leaned in so only Derek and nobody else could understand her. Derek looked up surprised of her telling him. "I know that you know. Mark told me yesterday. And he also told me that he loved me…and I told him that I wanted an abortion…and then he left." Derek looked around while Lexie was talking, making sure nobody listened to them.

"You want me to talk to him?" he asked leaning in a bit more.

"I don´t know. I don´t know what to think or do. Can you just tell me if I should get an abortion or not? I mean is it wise to become a mother in my first year?" Lexie struggled with the idea to terminate her pregnancy but also with the fact that it was so early on in her education.

"I can´t tell you what to do. But Meredith and I are also trying to get pregnant and she´s in her second year." Derek explained and Lexie frowned.

"Yes, but she´s best friends with the chief and would never lose her job." Lexie tried to reason with him and Derek sighed.

"Bailey got Tuck when she was in her fourth year. And she could continue her training and now she´s the chief of general." Derek hit her with another reason to keep it.

"Bailey had a husband who stayed at home with Tuck. I don´t have a husband nor is Mark someone who could allow himself to stay home" Lexie meant with a sigh.

"You are just looking for excuses." Derek meant putting the files on a stack again. "I know you are afraid but as you probably found out Mark is all in. He won´t leave you or the baby alone. Yes there´s Callie and the other baby but Mark is a good guy even when I seem to think differently from time to time. And also, Webber won´t fire you. You´re the best intern." he slightly pushed her with his elbow which made her smile.

* * *

Owen saw Teddy standing by a nurse´s desk and typing something on her tablet. He walked over and joined her really closely so if he said something, only she could hear it.

"It´s Cristina´s birthday today." He whispered and she looked up.

"Really? She didn´t say anything." Teddy tried to remember if the resident had mentioned anything to her.

"That´s because she doesn´t celebrate it. So…I´m gonna do a surprise party for her tonight. You should come. She loves you." Owen invited his best friend.

"Owen, I´m not sure a surprise party is a good idea, when she told you she doesn´t celebrate her birthday." Teddy tried to talk some sense into him but the trauma surgeon was completely sure she would love it. "Well, if that´s the case then, yes, I´m gonna come." They smiled at each other and after exchanging a few more details they parted ways again.

Owen was still inviting people to the surprise party and writing down things he would need to buy, when he came across Meredith and Derek talking in the big hall.

"You!" he meant walking towards them with fat grin on his face. "It´s Cristina´s birthday today."

"It is?" Derek asked surprised and looked at Meredith.

"Yeah but she doesn´t like it. Last year I got her a present and she told me to never do that again." Meredith remembered as if it was yesterday.

"Well, last year she didn´t have me and I am throwing a surprise party for her." Owen smiled and Derek was kinda fond of the idea. Just Meredith chuckled as she thought it was a joke.

"Oh wait, you´re not kidding? That´s a terrible idea." Meredith tried to convince Owen not to do this but he didn´t want to believe that.

"I don´t care what you think, she´s gonna love it. Speaking of which, I need some more booze so she will really love it." He meant noting something down on the list he had in his hand. "You don´t have to like it but you are her best friend. So are you two coming to the party or not?"

"What party?" Amelia suddenly stood behind the couple and Meredith and Derek turned around. Derek rolled his eyes, not wanting to have more contact with her than necessary.

"Amelia! Hi…I didn´t know you were coming." Meredith faked a smile and hugged her sister in law. She liked that Amelia was messed up just like her and she didn´t think Amelia was guilty of killing her mother but she knew Derek was so she tried to act in his favor.

"Who are you?" Owen asked the petite woman who he thought was really pretty.

"Amelia Shepherd. Derek´s little sister." She held out her hand and they shook it. "So, what party are we all going to?"

"Um…for my…um…Cristina she´s…she´s a doctor here…you should totally come." Owen stuttered and Meredith immediately noticed that there was something going on.

"You sure?" Amelia wanted to make sure she wasn´t bothering anybody, though she clearly bothered her brother.

"Yeah the more the merrier, right?" he smiled at the brunette woman. And as she returned his smile he immediately felt a shower of guilt running through his body.

* * *

"Watch closely doctors. I am inserting the needle into the patient´s uterus…there you go…SATs?" Nicole Herman explained while doing as she said. Lexie and Cristina watched her very closely, inspired and overwhelmed by how easy she made that procedure look. Even teddy was amazed by what doctor Herman was doing.

"Baby is stable." Arizona, who monitored the baby´s heart together with Alex and April, meant watching the monitor and the baby´s rhythm closely.

"Dude, that woman´s a freaking hero." Alex murmured to the two women sitting with him. April giggled at his comment and Arizona agreed with him.

"Doctor Altman, can you please reposition the baby just a little bit." Nicole asked and Teddy did as she was told. "Okay, I am inserting the needle to the baby´s chest and…great. Doctor Grey, I heard you have a photographic memory, with aortic stenosis, problems with the aortic valve make it harder for the leaflets to open and permit blood to flow forward from the left ventricle to the aorta. How can the valve look in children to cause this problem?"

"Um…The valve can be damaged by rheumatic fever or bacterial endocarditis, which can´t be the case here so, it can either have thick leaflets, which don´t open all the way, or it can have two leaflets instead of three and…um…" Lexie tried to remember the last thing she read in an journal once but it didn´t come into her mind.

"And?" Nicole asked staring at the monitor where she saw the inside of the woman´s womb.

"The leaflets can be partially fused together, causing it to be narrow and not open up all the way." Cristina answered for her intern.

"Right. Yeah, that's the last one." Lexie nodded remembering it very clear now.

"Yes. So I´m finished. Doctor Grey, would you do me the honor and pull the needle out?" the fetal surgeon asked and all the other doctor´s eyes widened. Lexie nodded slightly, not to show too much excitement, but Cristina was furious, that she didn´t even touch the patient. It hasn´t been her day, and now her intern was favored over her. Lexie went to the other side of the table and took the needle really carefully. She started pulling it out under Nicole Herman´s instructions. Arizona, Alex and April watched the baby´s monitor very closely.

"Very good doctor Grey." Nicole was satisfied with the intern.

"Bet you ten bucks she messes it up." Alex said quietly and Arizona hushed him. "Just saying. That girl´s amazing but she gets to do things no resident gets to do." April´s hormones clearly went through with her and since the o.r. was so quiet at that moment her giggle disrupted it and caused Lexie to get a scare and shake her hands. Suddenly the mothers BP was dropping and her vitals were dangerously low.

"Move!" Herman yelled, and took over for Lexie who was like paralyzed. The monitor in front of them showed a massive bleed in the woman´s womb and the attendings had to work really quick.

"I need to open her up." Lexie just heard faded voices. She stared at the monitor.

"What have I done?" she asked herself when suddenly Alex´ arms brought her back to a normal state. He brought her out of the o.r. as Robbins told him to do. "What have I done?"

"Nothing okay? You´re good! It´s Kepner´s fault." Alex tried to comfort her and wiped away a tear that strolled down her face. "Just leave. Go and freshen up. I´ll keep you posted." He nodded assuring and she walked away towards the lady´s restroom.

* * *

Richard and Miranda met in the attending´s lounge and started talking about the procedures they had that day. They enjoyed talking to each other, because they understood one another and had a blast.

"Anyway, are you coming tonight?" he suddenly asked Miranda who was rather confused.

"Coming? To where?" she wondered and Richard nodded in confusion.

"Oh, I´m sorry, I thought you knew. Hunt´s inviting everyone to a surprise party for Yang." Webber explained, feeling kind of awkward that she didn´t know about it. "I´m sure it´s fine if you come too."

"Yang? A surprise party? More like a disaster. Nah, I´m good…besides I already have plans." She denied his invitation and Richard looked at her, his eyes wide and his face shocked.

"Plans? With whom may I ask?" he almost interrogated her and Miranda looked up feeling sorry that she told him.

"Richard Webber, you´re not my father…and…and I do not need to..um…report what´s going on to you." The normally so confident woman tried to stutter her way out of this situation. Webber watched her walk out of the room and still wasn´t less confused. Bailey was like a daughter to him, he raised her and formed her to take over for him as chief of surgery one day. He caught himself feeling too nosy about things.

* * *

Lexie was standing in front of a sink in the lady´s restroom, letting the cold water run down her hands for some time and occasionally splashing the water onto her face which was red and swollen from all her crying. Suddenly a door of a toilet swung open and Amelia stepped out and walked to a sink on the other end.

"Hey you work with my brother, right? Derek Shepherd?" she then asked and Lexie, who didn´t want to look up and reveal her pain, just nodded. It was all too much for her. Her hormones were going crazy, her fight with Mark was still bothering her and now she might have killed a perfectly healthy mother.

"Could you maybe talk to him? Convince him to let me in on that Alzheimer´s study?" Amelia wanted to know with an excited smile and again, Lexie just nodded. "On the other hand, I already know he´s going to say no. Sometimes I wish he was more like Mark. Mark would always let me help him." Amelia thought out loud and Lexie now couldn´t hold it in any longer and let out a sob which drew Amelia´s attention to her again. "Did I say something?" she asked concerned and came closer when Lexie looked up and Amelia noticed how long she must have been crying already.

"I´m okay it´s just…" Lexie couldn´t finish her sentence as she started crying again. Amelia, who has a big heart and kind of felt guilty, pulled the intern into a hug. "What are you doing you don´t even know me." Lexie asked but didn´t complain.

"You seem like you could use it." She replied and they remained like that for a while.

"Thanks." Lexie said after she calmed down and pulled away. "I´m Lexie. Lexie Grey by the way."

"Hold on. THE Lexie Grey?" Amelia asked and Lexie gave her a confused look. "You´re dating Mark Sloan, right? ...Wait a minute…is that why you were crying?" the neurosurgeon wondered.

"I am not…we are not...dating…how do you know anyway?" Lexie wanted to know.

"Well, Mark was basically my other older brother, and a better one than Derek as well so…we talk." Amelia replied honestly. "Also, congratulations." She whispered with a hint of a smile.

"I´m not sure gratulations are necessary." Lexie looked down at her shoes feeling her eyes welling up again. "We had a fight yesterday about aborting or not." She explained and Amelia started looking concerned in another way. "I mean we didn´t talk much. He just ignored me from the moment I said it out loud but…isn´t it my decision? We aren´t a couple, I am ruining my body and career with it…I mean does he even get to have say in any of this?" Lexie thought out loud since Amelia stepped back and clearly wasn´t listening anymore but rather thought about something else.

"See, Mark…he um…he always wanted to have a big family but, you know, never found the right woman. He was dating one when he went to medical school, Addison who was with Derek for a brief time in Highschool. She got pregnant and had an abortion without telling him. They discussed it because he was really excited and couldn´t believe she did it without talking to him and she said that she wanted a family, but not with him and that he would have made a terrible father. I think that´s still in the back of his head and he feels very protective over this one. He doesn´t want to be hurt like this ever again." Amelia told Lexie and now she started to understand why he behaved like he behaved. "Anyway, I should get going and try to persuade Derek to let me work with him." The attending meant walking towards the door.

"Thank you." Lexie called after her and Amelia turned around with a comforting smile before leaving the restroom. Lexie wiped away the dried tears and looked up when suddenly another door of another toilet was opened. Through the mirror she saw Callie standing behind her who has listened to their whole conversation. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Callie cleared her throat and stepped forward to the sink and Lexie left the restroom looking down at her shoes.

 _Surprises can be happy._

 _They can be sad and terrible._

 _But you gotta keep up a good face because when you´re talking to a patient_

 _and look terrified, they are gonna be terrified as well._

"Little Grey is pregnant. With Mark´s baby." Callie whispered to Arizona who was walking beside her.

"I know, I did her first ultra-sound." She replied looking at her tablet and not being shocked about the news.

"You knew? Why didn´t you tell me?" Callie, who was angry at Mark for getting another woman knocked up, was now also angry at Arizona.

"Well, because a) Doctor-Patient confidentiality and b) because it´s her choice to tell or to keep it a secret." They both arrived at a nurse´s station and Arizona gave the tablet to a nurse.

"You do realize, that we are having his baby too, right?" Callie, who held her obviously pregnant belly, asked Arizona who was now facing her.

"No, you are having a baby with Mark, I am having a baby with you." The blonde woman smiled and put her hands around the place where the baby must have been at that time. "Don´t be mad at me. You know I wasn´t allowed to tell you." She gave Callie a kiss and it seemed like her anger was washed away by that gesture.

 _Sometimes people think we like surprises._

 _That it challenges us doctors and that we get bored easily with routine procedures._

 _But the truth is, we like when things go like planned._

 _We do have to think of every possibility but we hope everything plays out in our favor_

Owen looked at a text message from Cristina, saying she would leave the hospital now.  
"Okay guys Cristina´s on her way, she´s gonna be here any minute. Everybody in position." He yelled through the apartment where a lot of people were chit-chatting and drinking beer or eating snacks. When he finished his sentence, everybody went through what they had to do, when they would start singing "Happy Birthday" and where they should hide. Owen turned the lights out and hid on the right side of the door, whereas Teddy hid on the opposite.

"You really think that´s a good idea?" she asked concerned whether Cristina would like it or not. Owen wanted to reply with a yes bt before he could say anything the door swung open and the lights go back on.

"SURPRISE!" everybody jumped out of their hideout, screaming and at once they started singing "Happy Birthday." Cristina looked around, her mouth open in shock, her eyes widened in terror. Once they were finished and applauded her Cristina started laughing. But with every laugh a tear found its way down her cheek. It was at that moment that Owen realized, his idea maybe wasn´t the best. Cristina turned around and left the apartment with a loud bang when she shut the door.

"Told ya." Meredith, who stood next to Derek, meant drinking from her beer. Owen looked at Teddy who gave him a comforting smile.

"Go." She said with a nod and Owen stormed out of the apartment. "Okay, guys we didn´t invite you here in vain. Party´s started." Teddy then meant and everybody resumed to talk to each other and drink.

 _Some things are premeditated. Some things are clear._

 _An inflamed appendix will burst if untreated, that´s clear._

 _But feelings are so complicated. You can´t control them._

 _You can´t see what is going to happen once you say something and once you don´t._

 _You need to expect a surprise._

Lexie stood in front of closed lab doors. Through the slim window in the door she watched him work. He has been in there the whole day, not speaking to anybody. Lexie really didn´t want to confront him but she also new she couldn´t run away. It was his baby too and he had a right to decide with her. She opened one door and stepped inside.

"Mark? Can we talk?" she asked and saw him sighing. He turned around and she could clearly see that his face was red and swollen. He had obviously cried as much as she did. "I am so sorry. Amelia told me what happened when you were in med school. With Addison?" Mark looked away. It clearly bothered him that she was bringing it up, but Lexie had to take all the courage she had and clear things. She took a stool and sat down in front of him, taking his hands in hers and trying to catch his gaze.

"I love you too." She whispered underneath her breath and caused him to look her right in the eyes. "And I now our situation is messed up. Callie´s also having your child and I am an intern and you can´t be a stay-at-home dad because you are the best plastic surgeon I´ve ever heard of. But we can work it out right? Together? We can make it work? Because if you´re not all in and if you don´t support me, I am not doing this. I love you, and I want to have a family, a life with you." Lexie´s eyes lit up more with every word she said and Mark´s lips formed a smile hearing those words. "So, what are you saying? Are you in?" They locked eyes and for a split second, Lexie regretted saying anything because she thought Mark might tell her to go away. But she was wrong. Before she knew, Mark´s lips touched hers and his hands were on her cheeks. She let out a sigh of relief and with it a tear rolled down her face.

"I love you" he whispered once they pulled apart. "I love you so much. You want to go home?"

"Actually Owen´s throwing a party for Cristina and invited me. I think if we really do this people should know that we are a couple. And expecting." She smiled at him and they kissed again. This time both cried in relieve and of happiness. They were expecting. They would have a wonderful life together. At least for now.


End file.
